in laws
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what do u think or feel, if as a wife, your husband unwilling to help your parents. how willu feel or do, and is there any other way out.
ur husband hated your parents. yr husband unwilling to take care of your sick mum. and your husband don't like the sight of your dad. even both of them did him no wrong, it is just he feel they r no standard (when actually they got high standard, he got no standard), when he thinks he is always right and everybody wrong. what will u as his wife do, it is so hurting any way to get him to like your parents, any way to soften his heart to accept them, or just one of them to stay with the wife and him.
just to give them a chance to live life as a familiy before they die. -
Why would anyone marry him then?Originally posted by alba:what do u think or feel, if as a wife, your husband unwilling to help your parents. how willu feel or do, and is there any other way out.
ur husband hated your parents. yr husband unwilling to take care of your sick mum. and your husband don't like the sight of your dad. even both of them did him no wrong, it is just he feel they r no standard (when actually they got high standard, he got no standard), when he thinks he is always right and everybody wrong. what will u as his wife do, it is so hurting any way to get him to like your parents, any way to soften his heart to accept them, or just one of them to stay with the wife and him.
just to give them a chance to live life as a familiy before they die.
I say ignore him and look after your parents in their remaining years as much as you can. -
gosh this is a really tough situation in my opinion..... i would say that by this problem cannot really be solved by discussion because it seems that this is a very strong sign of a character flaw (big ego - always thinking you are right).
usually it takes some really life changing experience - usually painful, before one realises his own flaws... it happened to me... -
u r so right, i think there is no way out right, except if he learn it in painful way and realises his flaws, but i guess it takes long time, but now time is short both my parents are old folks, and pity they can't hv most of their old time with families, and they got only 2 kids, for the time being i am the only child in their life now, the other one is not here gone away to nowhere.Originally posted by compadre:gosh this is a really tough situation in my opinion..... i would say that by this problem cannot really be solved by discussion because it seems that this is a very strong sign of a character flaw (big ego - always thinking you are right).
usually it takes some really life changing experience - usually painful, before one realises his own flaws... it happened to me...
so pity for them.
is it all guys like that so much of ego, well i can't suggest or say anyting, he will shout at the top of his voice and curse. and like no way i can talk back. no 2 way communication. very distressing. very ego. any way to bring down a bit of his ego. is it all like that, i tried all ways to smooth him down, when i think i achieve i fail after another mission to bring my parents and him together fail mission.
now i am carrying heavy loads on my head. don't want to upset both.
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of course not all guys like tat... for tis kind of guy, its usually the way he was brought up -> taught to be selfish n heartless... only way he learn is when he feel the pain himself... gals, beware 4 these guys... there are better respectful guys out there who are fillial to their parents n oso to any elderly...Originally posted by alba:u r so right, i think there is no way out right, except if he learn it in painful way and realises his flaws, but i guess it takes long time, but now time is short both my parents are old folks, and pity they can't hv most of their old time with families, and they got only 2 kids, for the time being i am the only child in their life now, the other one is not here gone away to nowhere.
so pity for them.
is it all guys like that so much of ego, well i can't suggest or say anyting, he will shout at the top of his voice and curse. and like no way i can talk back. no 2 way communication. very distressing. very ego. any way to bring down a bit of his ego. is it all like that, i tried all ways to smooth him down, when i think i achieve i fail after another mission to bring my parents and him together fail mission.
now i am carrying heavy loads on my head. don't want to upset both. -
hi alba....Originally posted by alba:u r so right, i think there is no way out right, except if he learn it in painful way and realises his flaws, but i guess it takes long time, but now time is short both my parents are old folks, and pity they can't hv most of their old time with families, and they got only 2 kids, for the time being i am the only child in their life now, the other one is not here gone away to nowhere.
so pity for them.
is it all guys like that so much of ego, well i can't suggest or say anyting, he will shout at the top of his voice and curse. and like no way i can talk back. no 2 way communication. very distressing. very ego. any way to bring down a bit of his ego. is it all like that, i tried all ways to smooth him down, when i think i achieve i fail after another mission to bring my parents and him together fail mission.
now i am carrying heavy loads on my head. don't want to upset both.
read your other thread as well... i dont think i can give much useful advice anymore as i guess im still too young... but i really hope someone else here can help you work things out step by step. -
don't know what to do, i am lost again. so sad, so hard to make good to ppl this world is cruel too.
what should i do? very pity my elderly, i guess now they sense it.
so hard to make ppl happy, but my elderly never disturb husband, onlyhusband don't like them,don't know why, as though he is always good and others no good.
the more i talk to him, the more he got so angry with me, why? i try to talk over and explain and make him understand but he got so angry even today too. now who is hurt, me or him. -
U have every right to insist your parents stay with u since they don't have anyone to take care of them. Tell your husband it is your duty.
If he is not keen, then ask him to help pay for a maid or move them nearer to you so u can pop in & check up on them. -
ke3lian2
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haiz..
so ple say.. nv pa jia cuo lang.
my dad also hated my mum's mum.
everytime new yr approaching he will purposely wana quarrel, say dun wana go visit mum's relatives during CNY..there was one yr he even said he want a divorce at my grandma's place.
my mum tolerated my dad for 37 years until he passed away, then we can bring mum to grandma's place more often.
that's why i tell myself.. if my parents dun approve of me and my future hubby-to-be, i can convince them.. but if it's him that cannot accept my family, then it's better that we go separate ways. -
the problem is before marriage all look good and fine, never expect this. its been going on , thought get better, but look like getttng worse.
now he is hating me for talking abt this.
he is not talking and still very angry with me. i felt so down now.
i am torn into 3 , pity to see my parents, and angry with husband. really hard lah -
anyway my mum sense he is not happy, so she told me, don't worry i will leave soon, just a few days i am going back to my place, wowo when i hear that i cried. so sad. my dad said nothing can be expected from your husband.Originally posted by alba:the problem is before marriage all look good and fine, never expect this. its been going on , thought get better, but look like getttng worse.
now he is hating me for talking abt this.
he is not talking and still very angry with me. i felt so down now.
i am torn into 3 , pity to see my parents, and angry with husband. really hard lah -
actually wat is ur mum suffering from?
are u the only child? -
a sis but married and oversea, (don't think coming home), and she is old (old sick) age 70yrs. old. i am worried, all over body sick.Originally posted by browniebaobao:actually wat is ur mum suffering from?
are u the only child?