confessions
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Recently, I choose a thai ger over my ger of close to 8yrs, and I confess my actions to me ger..hurt her bad and at the same time, I felt real bad and pain in myself that I really duno who to turn to. Perhaps alot of you will say I deserve it, but I need to do something before things turn even bad.
Before I go to thailand for work, me and my gf have already decided to get engaged, got ourselves wedding band, and already inline for BTO flat..I felt so great that hey, things decided to settle down for me after close to 8 yrs together,so much effort time and money has went in.
Things started going topsy turvy while I'm in thailand..I get to know this ger, working in a night bazaar selling food..quite cheerful and friendly looking and initially, I told meself, not to get involve but eventually, get to know her. From the start, nothing really goes on, just like normal friends..cox she's bit of outgoing type and fun-loving, so I let me guard down. I also did not tell her I have gf back home.
After a few meetings, she told me alot of things about herself, and that, deep down-inside her, she needs lotsa love as she comes from a broken family and has been quite messy in life while she was young.She has stopped studying at 15 and party and lead a wilful life till few backs, her mom came to look back for her for the first time in her life. She stays in a rented apt and I been to her apt before and I felt that she's very independent in life..due to fact that environment has turn it this way. I must agree that she's good looking and great figure and her softness...in no way a sg ger can match...till now I still think so.
One day she asked me,what do I really want it be...just normal friends or be her bf. I don't know what I'm thinking and I told her be her bf. Gosh....I tot it might just be fling and that she's prob not treating it serious since I'll only there for a short period of time. She also says she's afraid that it'll be a wrong choice for her since I'm not a thai and I don't live there. One day, she told me that whatever will be, will be, nevermind bout the future how it will turn out, she just felt happy with me that I care for her. All this while, I did not let me gf(sgp) know. I know its bad but I just couldn't fight myself way out.
As time goes, she becomes more attach to me and one night, she slept with me and that she says, she really loves me and she's willing to do it with me. She took pills to prevent pregnancy and over 2 weekends, we stayed together at the hotel and she allows me to take pics and says that I can keep it because she wants me to look at it when I'm back home to help me remember her. What surprises me is that she quite spontaneous in bed and got me quite worried, like shes know her stuffs. Before she likes guys...shes a les before,had a couple of gf. Now that she turn over new life, due to fact that she lost hope on thai guys (2 failed ones).
All this while, I did not tell her that I'm not single and she has fear that my heart is like a condo(multi heart)
I left thailand for home, she called me on my mobile and its not cheap to do so to call from overseas, esp she does not earn that much, and shes willing to go thru this...it gives me a sense that, she's willing to put her heart to it.She even called when I'm in aus...even more ex...and she says that her misses for me overrules everything.
I felt that, she can adapt her environment well and even in harsh condition, she's stilll optimistic in life and I now have tot of bringing her over. She's ok with me and tells me, as long as I'm with her...it supercedes anything. All this while, I communicated in very little english with her, and she talks thai with me, though i'm not very good at the language, all the way I can manage to gather what she means. Now. she oftens takes picture of herself and emails me and i try phone her as much often n I'll be visiting her soon.
OF course..alot of worries cross me mind..like, if there's a future, how will it be with her.like, getting a status for her in sg, how she gona survive,interact,etc etc.
Right now..problems i need to solve is my BTO flat,my wedding bad,duno how it'll turn out. I really broke my gf(sgP) heart when I told her and I know its unfair to her. Y can't i broke up with the thai one instead and a few mths wins over a few yrs relationship? Is it fair for both the gers. However, till recently, I know that I will prefer a thai ger more than a sgp ger...its just that I do not have the courage to tell everyone...being the sterotype thinking in most of people that, hey, the thai gers just wanna get out of there and that, they will try at everything.
I made a mess in my life now..and I will not say that its my gf(sgp) fault though she over the years, has mad some impact in my thinking of spending time with a sgp ger.
I'm a jerk thats all. -
I'm a jerk thats all. [/b][/quote]
Much too long to read but I do agree on the last part (I've also read the opening lines). -
i read the whole thing.
u fucking two timer.
go and die la. -
Last line in your post.
You can say it but do you feel it.
Besides ranting in this site, what do you expect us to tell you. its your life, if you want to throw away 8 years, who are we to say the thai girl is not good for you or that your current gf is not worth the time invested.
However, one thing I can say. Don't play with people's heart. -
I dont like you sig at all
You are playing yourself, not anyone els. -
hmm u mention dat the thai girl is a les and has couple of gf and 2 failed relationships... r u really very certain she is not taking u for a ride? but seriously... u rather choose a few mths relationship over a few years relationship...means u din think carefully bout the future...i got a feeling u will regret it... just my humble opinion...
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and who noes...when u get married with the thai ger and u happen to visit some other countries for work, u will return and tell us that u noe of this girl from this country and u wanna break off with that thai girl...
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Look another case of foreign talent taking singaporean's position. Dude easy lar, now government encourage foreign talent to come to singapore.
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I read the whole thing.
No one here is going to bash you for having a Thai gf. Her race and nationality isn't what that's important. However, cheating on your fiancee (who has been your girlfriend for eight years) by sleeping with another girl - you seriously think that others are going to sympathise with you?
Your siggy sucks. Heaven isn't playing a joke on you; you're the one who's playing around with the hearts of two different people. And what I can say is that when you play around with the hearts of others, you can expect to end up with a broken heart yourself. You truly got what you deserved.
'Nuff said. I had better leave this place before I start slugging you for making the rest of us guys look really, really bad.
And yeah, your last line says it all. You're a jerk. -
it gives me a feeling dat she is using him to come to singapore =X okok no offence just a humble opinion of mineOriginally posted by Eternal-fire:Look another case of foreign talent taking singaporean's position. Dude easy lar, now government encourage foreign talent to come to singapore. -
i agree... u r a jerk... to ever slp with other woman whom u dun even noe long enuff...and betraying ur fiancee without a thought i suppose...Originally posted by fudgester:I read the whole thing.
No one here is going to bash you for having a Thai gf. Her race and nationality isn't what that's important. However, cheating on your fiancee (who has been your girlfriend for eight years) by sleeping with another girl - you seriously think that others are going to sympathise with you?
Your siggy sucks. Heaven isn't playing a joke on you; you're the one who's playing around with the hearts of two different people. And what I can say is that when you play around with the hearts of others, you can expect to end up with a broken heart yourself. You truly got what you deserved.
'Nuff said. I had better leave this place before I start slugging you for making the rest of us guys look really, really bad.
And yeah, your last line says it all. You're a jerk. -
Ya, what is so undesirable is not about you having a Thai gf, rather about your lack of honesty and your unfaithfulness.
Anyway, pick the Thai gal if you want. It is your life anyway. Just that one day, if you realise you've been taken for a ride, don't come crying. -
That's my thought too...Originally posted by OasisBlue:it gives me a feeling dat she is using him to come to singapore =X okok no offence just a humble opinion of mine
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Seriously, he had asked for it.. in his post and the signature...Originally posted by fudgester:I read the whole thing.
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'Nuff said. I had better leave this place before I start slugging you for making the rest of us guys look really, really bad.
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who knows what disease he picked up. hopefully, the sg girl eventually sees it as a blessing in disguise. He would propably hurt her more in time to come with his irresponsible actions.. -
Is it possible to type out your Gf(sg) side of the story?Originally posted by dirge:Recently, I choose a thai ger over my ger of close to 8yrs, and I confess my actions to me ger..hurt her bad and at the same time, I felt real bad and pain in myself that I really duno who to turn to. Perhaps alot of you will say I deserve it, but I need to do something before things turn even bad.
I made a mess in my life now..and I will not say that its my gf(sgp) fault though she over the years, has mad some impact in my thinking of spending time with a sgp ger.
I'm a jerk thats all.
What is exactly going on now? -
go to a doctor and repeat the story, maybe he will agree chopping your dick into half and stuffing it up your arse
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On the contrary, thais can't really accept other cultures other than their own.Originally posted by mistyblue:That's my thought too...
Only Elites are open and adaptable.
And those who really went ahead because of the relationship.
Yup. -
yeah, my husband's colleague's wife is a thai. the woman walked out of he marriage, aborted the 2nd child ran back to thailand. never came back...Originally posted by M©+square:On the contrary, thais can't really accept other cultures other than their own.
Only Elites are open and adaptable.
And those who really went ahead because of the relationship.
Yup. -
That means she cannot tahan either him, or singapore.Originally posted by mistyblue:yeah, my husband's colleague's wife is a thai. the woman walked out of he marriage, aborted the 2nd child ran back to thailand. never came back...
So sad....
How's the colleague now? -
hey! you should wake up your idea!
8 years and you are willing to give it up over a thai girl? you should be grateful if your SG gf is willing to forgive you.
it all comes back and haunt you, trust me... i was a jerk once (but i think not as bad as you, i left because i had to go overseas and study as well as family background incompatibility). just don't break people's heart like that ..... one fine day.. you the pain within you will just overwhelm you. -
Not sure, but cannot tahan husband, is for sure. Then again, she married him for the money. Singapore is never considered home for anyone outside of singapore if they do not integrate... Most foreigners don't integrate... Sg is a hotel to them...Originally posted by M©+square:That means she cannot tahan either him, or singapore.
So sad....
How's the colleague now?
But she was really brutal to abort the baby and walk out over night and never come back... the husband didn't even know if there was anything wrong. She just up and go one night when he was working night shift. Next morning, the guy found she had left.
My brother's own Taiwanese wife also up and left overnight. She complained about everything in SG and everyone. She treated us like maids and expected to be served hand and foot. When she complained she has no income, no friend and etc, we ask if she want to work. She refused and my parents had to give her allowance to spend on herself. She proceeded to burn 40K buying jewels, clothes, and whatever her fancy, ignoring her kid. Then one night, from a spending spree at JB with her friend, she walked in and declared she want to divorce and lodge all sorts of lies claiming ill treatment from my family and etc. She of couse won custody of the kid who she didn't really want. I told my parents to wait 10 years and she will come after us for more money using the kid. -
I have a couple friends who are married for 7 years. They have a baby boy who is 3 years old. She is a thai too. she had been a housewife since her arrival in singapore.
2 years ago, she started wanting to go out and work. She insisted in working as a waitress despite the husband's objection. After working for a couple of months, she came home with a new handphone (she had 2 handphones altogether. she also refused to give her hubby her new HP no) and diamonds. Hubby found out that she had another man, yet forgave herm and they patched up.
They are now divorced. -
my goodness.... this is almost unreal... why are people so heartless.. starting to lose faith in the world...Originally posted by mistyblue:Not sure, but cannot tahan husband, is for sure. Then again, she married him for the money. Singapore is never considered home for anyone outside of singapore if they do not integrate... Most foreigners don't integrate... Sg is a hotel to them...
But she was really brutal to abort the baby and walk out over night and never come back... the husband didn't even know if there was anything wrong. She just up and go one night when he was working night shift. Next morning, the guy found she had left. -
Originally posted by compadre:my goodness.... this is almost unreal... why are people so heartless.. starting to lose faith in the world...
You should have faith in yourself then your perspective will change.
The world cannot give you faith neither can they help you. -
The one good thing you did was to leave your (now EX)-gf. Nobody deserves to be stuck with a two-timer.
On a lighter note, you do realize that you've been in the wrong, and knowingly subject yourself to textual abuse in this forum by telling your story. Thumbs up for that. Even saints make mistakes.
Alright, if the 8-year relationship can't withstand the test of an overseas work trip, then sadly, it's probably better to end it before marriage. 8 years is a long time, if trust and discipline on both parties still can't be built throughout those years, it'll probably never happen.
Get yourself out of this mess, even jerks deserve a 2nd chance if they repent.