A Friend or Foe??

• Lost_Drift

  12 Sep 06, 22:57

  This happen to me a while ago,
  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.Once,we organised a chalet outing. On the day of the bbq night, I joked by saying about this friend who was a bit plump that he was putting on weight.And he immediately flare up..I tried to calm him down and i apologised..said "i'm sorry".."it's my bad/fault", "I shldnt say such stuff".But he still keep shouting loudly at me and that time my parents & aunt were around. Up till now i still cannot forget the time when he shouted at me and this really embarrassed me as my elders were around at that time, I couldnt fight with him or shout back at him, I can only try calming him down..After the chalet, my parents told me that my friend was illmannered and told me to stay away from him..Should I forget everything and try keep this "friend" or should I get back at him for shouting and embarrassing me at that point of time?
  
  Thanks in advance for any good advice, Guys
• Bontakun

  12 Sep 06, 23:00

  Originally posted by Lost_Drift:
  This happen to me a while ago,
  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.Once,we organised a chalet outing. On the day of the bbq night, I joked by saying about this friend who was a bit plump that he was putting on weight.And he immediately flare up..I tried to calm him down and i apologised..said "i'm sorry".."it's my bad/fault", "I shldnt say such stuff".But he still keep shouting loudly at me and that time my parents & aunt were around. Up till now i still cannot forget the time when he shouted at me and this really embarrassed me as my elders were around at that time, I couldnt fight with him or shout back at him, I can only try calming him down..After the chalet, my parents told me that my friend was illmannered and told me to stay away from him..Should I forget everything and try keep this "friend" or should I get back at him for shouting and embarrassing me at that point of time?
  
  Thanks in advance for any good advice, Guys [/b]

  Now you understand that sarcastic jokes have limits. Its never nice to joke about someone since it will more or less hurt that person's pride. I think all those people you joked with in this manner are guys right? Girls are more sensitive to these so think thrice before you crack a joke to anyone.
  
  As for your case with your friend: be the first to contact him and apologise on your part. I am sure you don't want to lose a friend right? Wait a few days for him to cool down then call him out so you can talk to him in person.
• coffeeortea

  12 Sep 06, 23:04

  Originally posted by Lost_Drift:

  This happen to me a while ago,
  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.Once,we organised a chalet outing. On the day of the bbq night, I joked by saying about this friend who was a bit plump that he was putting on weight.And he immediately flare up..I tried to calm him down and i apologised..said "i'm sorry".."it's my bad/fault", "I shldnt say such stuff".But he still keep shouting loudly at me and that time my parents & aunt were around. Up till now i still cannot forget the time when he shouted at me and this really embarrassed me as my elders were around at that time, I couldnt fight with him or shout back at him, I can only try calming him down..After the chalet, my parents told me that my friend was illmannered and told me to stay away from him..Should I forget everything and try keep this "friend" or should I get back at him for shouting and embarrassing me at that point of time?
  
  Thanks in advance for any good advice, Guys

  fuck that gay ass.. seriously.. since u guys like to joke.. and hes part of your group.. why the hell is he being a pansy.
  
• dragg

  12 Sep 06, 23:08

  you get angry over such things only when you are young.
  
  as you get older it goes away.
  
  
• dcx

  12 Sep 06, 23:10

  In Chinese, "kan kai"
  
  As simple as that.....any difficulties?
• Ito_^

  12 Sep 06, 23:11

  Originally posted by dragg:

  you get angry over such things only when you are young.
  
  as you get older it goes away.
  
  

  but his negative impression of such people might never go away.
  
  years later, he might juz return the favor.
  
  
• coffeeortea

  12 Sep 06, 23:31

  Originally posted by dcx:

  In Chinese, "kan kai"
  
  As simple as that.....any difficulties?

  he got dou ji yan.
  
  
• Seth35

  13 Sep 06, 00:43

  So ? Whats wrong being Fat... FAT is a Liability...Not Permanent... It Can be lost and gained...
• browniebaobao

  13 Sep 06, 01:49

  Perhaps he could not control his weight also, and it's not what he wanted.
  
  You should be sensitive enough not to touch on his 'wound'.
  
  He's not being ill mannered ba, imagine if somebody says something about you that you hate about yourself, how would you react?
  
  So, if you have nothing better to say, dun say. But if you really want to say something, say only good words.
• caleb_chiang

  13 Sep 06, 01:56

  you are in the wrong man. you are the one who are ill-mannered.
• Lost_Drift

  13 Sep 06, 02:15

  Originally posted by caleb_chiang:

  you are in the wrong man. you are the one who are ill-mannered.

  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.
• nanren4ever

  13 Sep 06, 06:11

  Just go and tell him that u are sorry for poking fun of him for his weight, but then, u should tell him that he shouldn't have shouted at u in front of ur family.
  
  Sometimes, its really hard 2 be friends with other people. You never know where is the off-limits as far as jokes are concerned. Of course, things like family, friends are off-limits, but when do u know when has jokes "gone too far?"
• FBI

  13 Sep 06, 06:28

  Originally posted by Lost_Drift:

  This happen to me a while ago,
  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.Once,we organised a chalet outing. On the day of the bbq night, I joked by saying about this friend who was a bit plump that he was putting on weight.And he immediately flare up..I tried to calm him down and i apologised..said "i'm sorry".."it's my bad/fault", "I shldnt say such stuff".But he still keep shouting loudly at me and that time my parents & aunt were around. Up till now i still cannot forget the time when he shouted at me and this really embarrassed me as my elders were around at that time, I couldnt fight with him or shout back at him, I can only try calming him down..After the chalet, my parents told me that my friend was illmannered and told me to stay away from him..Should I forget everything and try keep this "friend" or should I get back at him for shouting and embarrassing me at that point of time?
  
  Thanks in advance for any good advice, Guys

  dude same, my jokes also like that de thats why i often made ppl angry
• xShevchenkox

  13 Sep 06, 12:06

  Well..sum ppl juz cnt take jokes de...so u must identity those that can joke around and those that cannot joke around de lor...
  
  l am those that can joke around...and l too like u...get into such trouble be4
  Dun wry, as time passes....and after experience...u will become the real joker and will noe how to joke, and when to joke to avoid misunderstanding and hurting others =)
  
  Cheers
• Snowsaint

  13 Sep 06, 13:14

  You have just hurt a person's self esteem... it is no wonder he reacted so abnormally...
  
  Sometimes when u joke... think of what u are joking with... such matters cant be trifled with especially those ppl who have low self confidence... if this gets serious u may even make him end up commiting suicide..
• Phoebie

  16 Sep 06, 17:03

  Originally posted by Lost_Drift:

  This happen to me a while ago,
  All my friends and I like to joke a lot and our joking style are those we kp(make fun of) each other for fun.Once,we organised a chalet outing. On the day of the bbq night, I joked by saying about this friend who was a bit plump that he was putting on weight.And he immediately flare up..I tried to calm him down and i apologised..said "i'm sorry".."it's my bad/fault", "I shldnt say such stuff".But he still keep shouting loudly at me and that time my parents & aunt were around. Up till now i still cannot forget the time when he shouted at me and this really embarrassed me as my elders were around at that time, I couldnt fight with him or shout back at him, I can only try calming him down..After the chalet, my parents told me that my friend was illmannered and told me to stay away from him..Should I forget everything and try keep this "friend" or should I get back at him for shouting and embarrassing me at that point of time?
  
  Thanks in advance for any good advice, Guys

  maybe he's already inferior and sensitive towards such comments. Maybe such comments had already left a deep "wound" in his heart and mind in the past. By making such comments, you'll rubbing salt into wounds. No wonder he's raving at you like mad.
• pokkagreentea

  16 Sep 06, 18:00

  Originally posted by Snowsaint:

  You have just hurt a person's self esteem... it is no wonder he reacted so abnormally...
  
  Sometimes when u joke... think of what u are joking with... such matters cant be trifled with especially those ppl who have low self confidence... if this gets serious u may even make him end up commiting suicide..

  true.
  I'm sure you would feel upset too if somebody said something that insults your intelligence and your pride.
  
  Yes, joking can be fun but pls know your limits. Apologize to the person and say you didn't really mean it.