i really met my ex...
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well, i posted a msg before quite sometime ago saying wat shd i do if i really met him.. i just met him at suntec just now when i was wif my bf..n he was wif his group of frens.. he said hi to me.. i smiled back.. i wished i didnt see him..i just hated him too much..i cannot bring myself to forgif someone that hurt me so much before... so much that i tot i could nv get up again.. at least my bf is nice n he comforted me as he could sense that i was v disturbed.. i regretted smiling at that fellow.. i should just diao him n walked off...
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Anyway, it's over, u shd b glad u hav such a caring bf nw, can sense your uneasiness when u meet him, so long your bf is around, u shd feel more secure, rite?Originally posted by joanne:well, i posted a msg before quite sometime ago saying wat shd i do if i really met him.. i just met him at suntec just now when i was wif my bf..n he was wif his group of frens.. he said hi to me.. i smiled back.. i wished i didnt see him..i just hated him too much..i cannot bring myself to forgif someone that hurt me so much before... so much that i tot i could nv get up again.. at least my bf is nice n he comforted me as he could sense that i was v disturbed.. i regretted smiling at that fellow.. i should just diao him n walked off...
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Try to let go of your previous hurts and you will be happier with life
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Joanne,
I can understand the hurt that's in you.. U were involved in the r/s. Some say if u dun feel hurt in a r/s, u were never involved in the r/s before.
Ur hurt may have well-up inside during the times when u never saw ur ex, and it was kind of happily settled down inside u before this incident happen. But things do happen... and it did...
Jus hope that u will consider. it's a natural reaction for u to smile at someone u know. and u cannot control it. u may regret it now.. but I doubt u told urself that u must smile at him at the point in time. It just was there, and u r just being friendly. On the other hand, u maybe recalling the hurt again, and start to be angry wif him for messing up ur life in the past. I'm NOT asking u forget the past and forgive him now. coz in life no one can do that.. But let's put it this way, as compared to the past I'm sure the hurt has diminished slightly. That will be important.. coz it's the process...
Another thing, no use telling urself that u must be angry wif him when u see him, coz in a way u r telling urself to remember something which has scarred ur life. y bother to do such a thing for someone, u feel is not even worthy for u to know?? U r still living in the shadows and unable to let urself be free.. Let time heals, coz it can. Let feelings flow, coz it will. Let the past be history, coz it's not something u will want to remember in life...
Take care...
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.)
~.~.~ -
Good point... To add, you're glad that you're happy with your current bf? Not to throw a wet blanket on you... But you'll never know when the next wave would hit you again in life..... Like Bear has said... Learn to let go of this one, and you'll learn to let go of the next one better... If this 'jerk' has taken up much precious time of your life and contributed much pain to your self... DON'T top up to that effect by wasting your stress hormones on him anymore... In life you LEARN... If NOT, you'll be TAUGHT AGAIN....Originally posted by Bear:Joanne,
I can understand the hurt that's in you.. U were involved in the r/s. Some say if u dun feel hurt in a r/s, u were never involved in the r/s before.
Ur hurt may have well-up inside during the times when u never saw ur ex, and it was kind of happily settled down inside u before this incident happen. But things do happen... and it did...
Jus hope that u will consider. it's a natural reaction for u to smile at someone u know. and u cannot control it. u may regret it now.. but I doubt u told urself that u must smile at him at the point in time. It just was there, and u r just being friendly. On the other hand, u maybe recalling the hurt again, and start to be angry wif him for messing up ur life in the past. I'm NOT asking u forget the past and forgive him now. coz in life no one can do that.. But let's put it this way, as compared to the past I'm sure the hurt has diminished slightly. That will be important.. coz it's the process...
Another thing, no use telling urself that u must be angry wif him when u see him, coz in a way u r telling urself to remember something which has scarred ur life. y bother to do such a thing for someone, u feel is not even worthy for u to know?? U r still living in the shadows and unable to let urself be free.. Let time heals, coz it can. Let feelings flow, coz it will. Let the past be history, coz it's not something u will want to remember in life...
Take care...
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ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Joanne,
ya alright???
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.)
~.~.~ -
Bear,
thanks for ur advice..it really hit me hard.. my ex is the one n only one person that hurt me so deeply in my entire life.u are rite that i cannot make myself forget him as i thought i could..its no longer love but hatred that grow day by day.. that day when i met him, it was a great shock.. time does cos my pain to be lessen, but it makes me hate him more everyday..i nv blamed him for anything, but when i noe that these bad experiences still haven left me, i began to hate him..day by day..!!! ARGH!!!~
i told my bf everything abt him, he understands n he just tell me not to think abt that jerk anymore.but he just couldnt understand that it's not that i wanna think abt him, its just that the scar is too too too deep to be healed.. he just kip telling me not to hate him! i dunwan to hate him either! but it's something that i can't control!! get it? -
Can understand...we can't control the feeling we haf given out...We knew tat u didn't purposely want to hate him but is juz a feeling tat u urself(i think) also dun wish to haf...but tis is uncontrollable...dun blame urself coz u haf done ur part.enjoy ur present bf's company...little little bit of warm & love tat he gif proves his love for u...Take care and treasure wat u haf...Originally posted by joanne:Bear,
thanks for ur advice..it really hit me hard.. my ex is the one n only one person that hurt me so deeply in my entire life.u are rite that i cannot make myself forget him as i thought i could..its no longer love but hatred that grow day by day.. that day when i met him, it was a great shock.. time does cos my pain to be lessen, but it makes me hate him more everyday..i nv blamed him for anything, but when i noe that these bad experiences still haven left me, i began to hate him..day by day..!!! ARGH!!!~
i told my bf everything abt him, he understands n he just tell me not to think abt that jerk anymore.but he just couldnt understand that it's not that i wanna think abt him, its just that the scar is too too too deep to be healed.. he just kip telling me not to hate him! i dunwan to hate him either! but it's something that i can't control!! get it? -
Originally posted by ZiZi:Can understand...we can't control the feeling we haf given out...We knew tat u didn't purposely want to hate him but is juz a feeling tat u urself(i think) also dun wish to haf...but tis is uncontrollable...dun blame urself coz u haf done ur part.enjoy ur present bf's company...little little bit of warm & love tat he gif proves his love for u...Take care and treasure wat u haf...
You better already...?
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ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
Joanne,
agreeing to wat Zizi has mention, hatred is not something that u can control, it's just like ur love for ur bf.. it's a feeling erupt from deep within. Maybe the sight of ur ex has provoke the hatred that u had for him. It's just like a volcano. once it has erupted it just let out. u have controlled it deep within u since the day u left ur ex. but it was never let out. Or maybe for a long time it has never let out. It just have to blow someday. But once it's out think u will feel better, and slowly it will subside and be forgotten..
For ur bf, I think it's will be a nice time to know more abt and u and ur past also. U already mention that he doesn't understand y u start to feel this way. So it means both of u still have some differences, hence this incident can bring both of u closer...
I know that ur bf should try to understand u esp when u r in this kind fo senario, but I hope can understand ur bf as well, coz for many pple tell u not to hate him, not to be angry and being by ur side is signs to show that he cares.. Maybe wat u want is hug, but wat he gives is a shoulder. Not many will know wat to do.. He is trying his best to know u.. to understand u.. to see in and thru ur eyes... Maybe wif a little mroe hint and a little push or pull he will be able to see the same light as u... it's all part of learning to be together.
Hatred is something u cannot control... but will evolve and sub-side in due time. it means how much effort u placed... but it's all over... time did lessen the pain.. it took away some of the hurt... but I know that some things still boils inside... I can't tell u forget it, coz if u want u would have, anyone would have... but humans can't do it over-night. I would say hate him for all u care if u feel like it. he hurt u badly... but I hope u will tell urself to hate him less as each day goes by. And I hope u wun fall out wif ur bf becoz u feel that ur bf can't feel for u in this situation. Coz in this situation, one can't really think that rationally all the time. Sometimes, for few minutes, put urself in his shoes.
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
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(.)_(.) A Beary *Huggiez* for you...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love.
[This message has been edited by Bear (edited 30 May 2001).] -
hmm...thanks once again.. i dun blame my present bf for not being able to understand me or anything like that cos i dunwan to end up having a tiff wif him over my ex..it's not n will never be worth it.. these few days things have been better.. i mean in comparison to the times when i just met him i think i am able to let go of the past better... just hope i will get over it real soon.. dun wish to hate him anymore... well bear, ur advices always hit me hard..maybe u can be some love counseller!~ hee... got potential leh...keke
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*Blush* u'r most welcome... well, I dun get my position of Uncle Bear for nothing by the other forumites... Was supposed to be Aunt Agony lahz. but I male mahz.. eheheh~
But horz.. if u were to say lidat.. I will become bhb one lorz.. so better dun compliment too much.... before I fly high high up in the sky.... ehehhe~ oopz feel like flying liaoz.. ehhehe~
Just honestly hope that pple who come here with a frown will leave or stay on with smile. I'm sure it's not only me but also the wish and hope of all the Unclez and Auntiez of this forum.... Glad I was able to see your smilez.... =)
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.) A Beary *Huggiez*...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love. -
Better?May i ask wat are my best & worst?
[/b][/QUOTE] You better already...? -
wat u did was perfectly right .... should u had Diao him n walk away , this shows that u still hate him , still remember what he had done, still couldn't forgive him...
What u did was smiled n walk away.... this shows that U ARE HAPPY WITHOUT HIM.... that u are sooooo content with life now..... that u NEVER regret leaving him
) -
joanne, hao ma bu chi wei tou cao ( in chinese)
by the way, is any of ur ex by the name of jeremy? -
Too many people spend their lives living in the past and letting it dictate their present and future. let the past go, joanne.
Life is all about choices. When a bad situation happen, we can choose to be upset by it or choose to stay joyful in spite of it. You can't control the external circumstances but you can control yourself.
You can make a choice to stay strong and joyful in spite of the worst situation, that is a privilege God has given you.
Likewise, what he has done cannot be undone. True enough you might be hurt but is that going to determine your present and future path? you have the choice not to hate him but instead forgive him.
People hold hatred and bitterness in their hearts but they do not realise the one they are hurting the most is themselves. If you hate another person in life, everytime you see that person, you are going to get affected. As well break free of the bondage and forgive the person. Give yourself and the other party to move on in life.
Try not to let all the hurt and bitterness you had to flow into your present relationship. Give yourself a chance to be loved again. -
oh..com crashed..now in school supposed to do research..but i am replying to the posts!!! hee... well, actually after these few months, i really really finally got over my ex..well. it doesnt matter to me things abt him already..i mean..ermm.. initially i will still feel hurt thinking of him n the things n harm he did to me.. but rite now, i think my bf gave me enuff to forget abt that bastard entirely...
but rite now, i do feel that i am facing a problem...me n my bf argue alot over stupid matters..we dun quarrel but argue..then results in unhappiness... but then i really loved him alot...so in the end both of us will appologise.but then i think that if the both of us kip arguing, will we have a fierce fight one day n that's the end of us? another thing is that ah..i am rather jealous over her ex..i mean before we were together, we became gd frens cos we were both having problems wif our ex..now i noe mine is over...but i am not certain abt him.. he claims that he forgets abt her entirely but to me..i will still feel jealous..how ah? am i too bo liao to be jealous over her? -
oops...forgot to reply to someone that asked me if i had a bf called jeremy... nope..my ex's name is BAS...he claims that he is a bastard (since the day i noe him) so thats his name...BAS!
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Quarrelling is rather common among couples esp for marriage couples. The essence of it probably lies in the decision to stay together despite the differences.
Similiarities bring attractions and Differences makes life interesting.
Love is a servant of your will and not a victim to your emotions. In short, Love is a choice you make.
As regards to the insecurities you feel about ur bf's ex, that is nothing we can do. It's up to you to trust him or not to.
In fact, i am wondering how come both of you got together when you two haven't got over your exs. Is this merely for emotional dependency? or to fill up the emotional vacancy the previous one have left behind? -
Oh, your ex-him is named bas, so interestg leh...Originally posted by joanne:oops...forgot to reply to someone that asked me if i had a bf called jeremy... nope..my ex's name is BAS...he claims that he is a bastard (since the day i noe him) so thats his name...BAS!
Btw, think u had get over him liao, huh?
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
Originally posted by ZiZi:Better?May i ask wat are my best & worst? You better already...?
[/B][/QUOTE]
Your BEST would be the day you DIE... When you can detach from the sorrows and pains.... Or your birthday when you are born into this world to experience LIFE and its 'beauty'.....
Your WORST would also be the day you DIE, when you can no longer take care of the love ones around you nor see them anymore (in the near future to come?) Or your birthday when you're born to suffer in this world and see the 'ugliness' of 'one another'.......
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I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
.........Originally posted by Ruth|E:im someone who is revengful.... but i cant curb with my emotional...
i ever thought... what if 1 day i happen to meet my ex bf with hes new gf?!?!?!?!
what should i do?!?!?
breakdown and cry??
or heartily wish him all da best??
my frd once told me, if he was in da wrong fer the breakup, jus ignore him...
but if you happen to know tt ger and she was the 3rd party fer yr breakup... just go to tt bitch and slap her and give yr ex a kiss on hes cheek... (awesome issnt) ?? lol
i guess if i happen to see him on da rd... i will breakdown and cry... boo hoo hoo....
its hard to forget someone you have loved deeply...
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I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
ruth|E:
What's over is over. U must learn to let it out of your mind. I know it's easier said than done. But trust me, if u never try, u never know. -
It's hard but it's possible isn't it?Originally posted by Ruth|E:im someone who is revengful.... but i cant curb with my emotional...
i ever thought... what if 1 day i happen to meet my ex bf with hes new gf?!?!?!?!
what should i do?!?!?
breakdown and cry??
or heartily wish him all da best??
my frd once told me, if he was in da wrong fer the breakup, jus ignore him...
but if you happen to know tt ger and she was the 3rd party fer yr breakup... just go to tt bitch and slap her and give yr ex a kiss on hes cheek... (awesome issnt) ?? lol
i guess if i happen to see him on da rd... i will breakdown and cry... boo hoo hoo....
its hard to forget someone you have loved deeply...
Take your time to heal..... -
hmm...actually i alrady mentioned that i have forgotten abt my ex entirely! he is nv worth it.. hmm...someone mentioned that i shouldnt get together wif my bf as both of us haven get over wif our past but i think thats v untrue.. we are getting v v fine n really devoted in this relationship.. n both of us realise that the past relationship is just for us to treasure our current relationship more..
