Confidence
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Did you bring this issue to your girlfriend? As far as it seems, she's involved in this issue of yours too. And I would suggest that you first tell her about your issue; about how you felt, and see what she responds.
I'm sure she'll understand. You'll never know, maybe she'll help you with this?
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Is this bothering your GF more than you?Originally posted by technoboy:I am a person who has a rather low confidence. Everytime I'm with my GF, my friend would tell me that I act more like the girl while my GF is the guy.
She is normally the one who place our orders when we eat out. I am also not confidence when it comes to speaking. For example, when a stranger asks me for direction, she would be the one answering for me. I think the main reason is because I'm afraid I might say the wrong things everytime.
Also, sometimes when we are shopping and we pass by a mirror, I would sometimes try not to look into it as I'm afraid that I'll see myself to be ugly. I know thats decieving myself
Do you guys think there's something wrong with me? And how can I build up my confidence level? I really hope to be the real MAN in this relationship.
Why do you want to be the REAL man?
Confidence? It is built up slowly... Talk to your family, frens or GF. Get them to help build up your confidence. Let them help you. -
Why do I want to be the real man? Of course, since I want to be the one who can and will decide things. If not, that would really mean I'm useless...
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err...what did your gf sees in you in the first place ? Surely that's something that you can work on. I sure there's something that attracts your gf right ? Otherwise you won't be with her all these while.
I don't know what caused you or lead you to think about the negative things about yourself - perhaps you are insecure about something ?
Start from simple things eg: placing orders. Offer to place orders and she will appreciate it, anyway its expected of guys to order. Nothing to worry about, just say what you want and thats it....even if you take a while to say what you actually want, its alright cos you are the customer mah. But at least take the first step forward.
start small and slowly build up your confidence. get your gf to help by letting you place orders.
good luck. -
your gf is it those very over confidence type?
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Well.. If your gf likes you for who you are.. Then that's fine.. So what's the problem.. If you're afraid that she may mind all this.. Ask her about it then.. And of course ways to improve on it..
Maybe she likes your afraid-to-say-wrong-things characteristic.. -
I think this is really not just an issue of your relationship but more of yourself?Originally posted by technoboy:I am a person who has a rather low confidence. Everytime I'm with my GF, my friend would tell me that I act more like the girl while my GF is the guy.
She is normally the one who place our orders when we eat out. I am also not confidence when it comes to speaking. For example, when a stranger asks me for direction, she would be the one answering for me. I think the main reason is because I'm afraid I might say the wrong things everytime.
Also, sometimes when we are shopping and we pass by a mirror, I would sometimes try not to look into it as I'm afraid that I'll see myself to be ugly. I know thats decieving myself
Do you guys think there's something wrong with me? And how can I build up my confidence level? I really hope to be the real MAN in this relationship.
Anyway... How long have you been in this relationship and have your gf commented anything about your behaviors? -
I believe your real problem lies with a lower level of self-esteem. You tend to focus on your shortcomings than appreciate your own strengths. This inevitably causes a corresponding lower level of confidence. Try not to compare yourself with others. Create achievable goals in your mind and learn to appreciate and reward yourself everytime you succeed in acieving your goals. With time, you could hopefully see yourself and the world in a different light........... If all else fails, go see a youth counsellor or psychiatrist.........
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Edited
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maybe u need someone less strong.
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How u win over yr gf? Or yr gf are the one taking initiative for the r/s? But u must have some qualities she seen in u for her to make the first move,right? Use the reason of both of u getting together as confident base to slowly build it up.
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u just shy i think. u look good! otherwise ur gf wouldnt want u right?
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people feel confident when they are able to excel in a certain area of field.Originally posted by technoboy:I am a person who has a rather low confidence. Everytime I'm with my GF, my friend would tell me that I act more like the girl while my GF is the guy.
She is normally the one who place our orders when we eat out. I am also not confidence when it comes to speaking. For example, when a stranger asks me for direction, she would be the one answering for me. I think the main reason is because I'm afraid I might say the wrong things everytime.
Also, sometimes when we are shopping and we pass by a mirror, I would sometimes try not to look into it as I'm afraid that I'll see myself to be ugly. I know thats decieving myself
Do you guys think there's something wrong with me? And how can I build up my confidence level? I really hope to be the real MAN in this relationship.
be it someone who is handsome, pretty, good at a particular sport, good at presenting himself/herself, bla bla bla.
so as long as you are good at something, the confidence would be there.
what i would suggest for u is to get a "fashionable" haircut, build up on your body and your facial complexion. by achieving this, you feel good because you look good. when u feel good, it'll give you an advantage when it comes to communicating with others. who wouldn't want a "shuai ge" to talk to them?
alternatively, go pick up a sport and excel in it. you'll notice that many sportsmen have got an "aura" around them. the aura comes from being confident and believing in themselves. believing that they can perform for others to see.
some people might say that talk is cheap. when it actually comes to doing the real thing, it is much more difficult.
however you only have one life. it's really up to you to live the best you can.
Good luck in your quest for confidence -
Be more assertive. Speak up more on what you want and how you feel.
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Please keep the advices coming in!
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Ya. Also get her to help you more. Get frens to help out too.Originally posted by technoboy:I do not know what is the problem, most probably because I am not good at expressing myself and I would start to blabber at times when I place orders and stuffs like that.
My GF also told me that I always tend to speak very softly, although I think the volume is right already...
I don't think she really mind much, since she always would help me about this. However, we talked about this before and she told me she would prefer me to be more confident of myself and be the man la. If you guys get what I mean.
I guess now the first step is to practise how to speak properly? -
i once saw a girl help her bf style his hair..Originally posted by Bontakun:Ya. Also get her to help you more. Get frens to help out too.
look very nice.. jealous
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This is gonna sound stupid, but i think you ought to pick up boxing. it'll give the most shy of guys confidence. work out, attend speaking classes, perhaps even go for body language classes. if you look good, chances are you'll feel more confident.
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hmm i am still facing prob with self confidence ... similar to wat Ts is facing ... but its difficult to oercome this prob though
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where on earth you attend speaking classes one ar?Originally posted by sngyze:This is gonna sound stupid, but i think you ought to pick up boxing. it'll give the most shy of guys confidence. work out, attend speaking classes, perhaps even go for body language classes. if you look good, chances are you'll feel more confident. -
Real man?? Read more self help bk....Originally posted by technoboy:I am a person who has a rather low confidence. Everytime I'm with my GF, my friend would tell me that I act more like the girl while my GF is the guy.
She is normally the one who place our orders when we eat out. I am also not confidence when it comes to speaking. For example, when a stranger asks me for direction, she would be the one answering for me. I think the main reason is because I'm afraid I might say the wrong things everytime.
Also, sometimes when we are shopping and we pass by a mirror, I would sometimes try not to look into it as I'm afraid that I'll see myself to be ugly. I know thats decieving myself
Do you guys think there's something wrong with me? And how can I build up my confidence level? I really hope to be the real MAN in this relationship.
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practise conversation whenever possible. practice makes perfect.
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I can teach u be a real man! Unzip ur pant and unleash the anaconda...
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Check classifieds, confirm have one. I'm not sure about the quality though.Originally posted by Ito_^:where on earth you attend speaking classes one ar?