a gal i like.
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wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how? -
I think u should give her more time... as wad u said, she is nt ready for a relationship... let her know u are there for her... and not so pushy...
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she knows ur there, so don't over pressurize......patience
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patience pays off but when its time, the feels there. Go for it !
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She's not ready or she's not convinced ?Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how?
Many poeple say they are not ready but in fact it might be that she is not convinced that she can have a future with you. this causes alot of problem sometimes.
SO u gotta make sure she has faith in you.
IF she's never been in one, let her have the faith.
Getting a soul mate isn't about pushing or wooing.
Its mostly about giving faith to the girl so she knows there's a future with you. -
ermm... yea. i know i have to give her time and relax.
just let her know im there...
but.
HOW?
lols. im actually smsing once every few day alr. i typed myself one..
like saying, when she's tired or something, rmb i will be there for her blablahh..
or im always here!
yea. but i think she's uncomfortable.. or maybe she's sick of it.
im thinking of what shld i do next?
shld i like call, and make her laugh. in the end. i will tell her, actually im only trying to destress her. and make her happier.. blah blah.
but im scare i ruin her study workplan.
i actually asked her out for lunch casually recently but she said no thanks..
and she actually agreed to go dinner with me be4, but in the end, it didnt happen.
yea. what to do, to not stress her up? -
Take her hint.
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play it cool now. don't contact her and show no excessive interest. if she initiates more contact after this then you have a case......
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which is??Originally posted by mistyblue:Take her hint.
well.i dunno
is it she simply doesn't like me.( which i will still continue on..)
or, it's becoz of exam stress or wadeva..
can give me concrete instructions or advice.. ?
like staying away. i know. but how?
how far.. ? -
I think you should not fall in love with her. Girls her age are not mature for a r/s issues. You mentioned she hinted? What exactly did she say?Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how?
No i think you should just treat her like your guy buddies. Don't pressure. The more you pressure the worse it gets. She gets uneasy because you pressure, period. Just talk to her like a friend and understand her more. Don't let her know you will be there around for her etc that kind of stuff. That is very wimpy. You have watched too many taiwan idol shows already. -
Ooops sorry I hate to break your heart.. the girl is no more. Stop pursuing a lost cause.Originally posted by o-lua:ermm... yea. i know i have to give her time and relax.
just let her know im there...
but.
HOW?
lols. im actually smsing once every few day alr. i typed myself one..
like saying, when she's tired or something, rmb i will be there for her blablahh..
or im always here!
yea. but i think she's uncomfortable.. or maybe she's sick of it.
im thinking of what shld i do next?
shld i like call, and make her laugh. in the end. i will tell her, actually im only trying to destress her. and make her happier.. blah blah.
but im scare i ruin her study workplan.
i actually asked her out for lunch casually recently but she said no thanks..
and she actually agreed to go dinner with me be4, but in the end, it didnt happen.
yea. what to do, to not stress her up?
You know why? You asked her out for lunch and she said "no thanks". She agreed to go dinner and then later cancelled. These 2 tell you what? She is plainly not interested in you. So there is no point telling her you like her etc. Because she does not like you. -
dont always tell people you be there for them...a couple of time is sweet, but too many becomes a norm..
You also know that she is not ready..give her time..after her A level?
You know, actions speak louder than saying "you be there for her"
genuinely ask her out to study if she wants to..(BUT AS A FRIEND; DONT THINK OF OTHER STUFFS WHEN STUDYING!)
Give people more time..dont pressurize lah.. -
o-lua, i see a despo in you now. Stop it, that's suicidal. You are acting like u need women very badly.....
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Dude, you are like me when I like a girl. Shy shy dont dare to jio her out. Trust me, tell her that how important is she in your life. After that, If she is being touched by your sincerity, then congratz. If not.. just be friendz lor.Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how? -
Man... i hate this part.. "she's not convince... "... I've been told by a gal before... she always hint dat.. example in a movie.. and it goes like this, "mayb he never convince the girl dat he actually like her...?" but that story concept has nothing to do with that "convince" but i know.. she is actually reffering to me..! but dat really disturb me.. "convincE"? what more convince dat she wants??? i really like her wat...so... haha.. haiz dunno la bro sumtimes gal are very hard to drive..Originally posted by Sekundes:She's not ready or she's not convinced ?
Many poeple say they are not ready but in fact it might be that she is not convinced that she can have a future with you. this causes alot of problem sometimes.
.
Same situation.... dats wat she say actually to me too... but i know one thing... do not pressure her.. and please don't be pushy... u must have the right pace in order "to let her know"... no pressures but let the "HEAT" on!.. dats important!..Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
and u can play like this.. once in a while.. u back off .. (i tell u its worth by testing that once in a while but NOT TOO OFTEN! it will be a risk!) then u can see... did she still finds u? searching u? or mayb u can see if she really likes u..! but i tell u one thing.. be sweet, be nice.. im sure she will aknowledge it.. its worth a patience. Building love is not easy.. its like playing a chess... u know the moves, be strategic.. then after a while.. its "CHECK MATE!".. haha.. u noe what i mean..
but how long have u known her, buddy? hey if u want exchange views.. please PM me... i would really willing to "share informations".. if u willing to share ur "technical problems" haha...
I tell u.. its all about pacing urself.. right pace u have, u win the "race!!".. -
have to take a step back dude === at times u
may see if she's the one for u -== dun rush into things -
Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how?
I don't know if your bone feels it, but to me, motes of your concern are indeed overwhelming, until it became a little suffocating. I am not sure about how others think, but I feel that concerns overly used at wrong situation abase its honourable meaning.
Be there for her what? Be there for A-level? Are you gonna slip little notes of answer under her table? I am fine with '...have my spiritual support...' sort of encouragement - but be there for you? Has she failed her A levels, not gotten the result she desired, or the schools she wanted reject her application, which causes her to cry like a bucket and needed that special attention from someone to be around?
Do you see the illogic behind this statement?
I understand that you want your ubiquitous presence to be felt, but it's like trying to demonstrate overwhelming concern over someone when there isn't a need for overwhelming measures; somewhat like you create your own market, inflate the supply side and realize that the demand isn't as great.
The reason why I am saying this is that although it sounded very noble to make remarks like these - it makes no common sense if the situation doesn't fit them. You WILL come across as a hard seller, or some MLM salesman with blatant intention to sell-more-than-an-intention-to-fulfil-needs and turn people off badly.
She, being not ready, is not exactly an issue because when she goes into university and a nice guy runs along, she will be hooked. The truth is that she is not convince over the fact that why she must accept you into her life. We must have a humble understanding that she doesn't love you... yet, because if she does, you wouldn't even be posting your problems here.
You have to sell yourself to her... all your qualities... and not to appear like you are trying too hard, for each time you make her feel uncomfortable, it reinforced one more reason why she should be sceptical and not give you a chance (I said giving chance and not accepting is because the feelings is not mutual). Nobody likes to be in uncomfortable situation - it breeds uncertainty and will adopt a gradual ebbing stance towards the uncomfortable situation (your case probably spells rejection).
Take all things naturally and you might have a fighting chance.
Cheers -
This can be an another mirror for u to look at o-lua. It's true. I've send u the tips "how to drive"... but this statement by Yunhaier is fact.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I don't know if your bone feels it, but to me, motes of your concern are indeed overwhelming, until it became a little suffocating. I am not sure about how others think, but I feel that concerns overly used at wrong situation abase its honourable meaning.
Be there for her what? Be there for A-level? Are you gonna slip little notes of answer under her table? I am fine with '...have my spiritual support...' sort of encouragement - but be there for you? Has she failed her A levels, not gotten the result she desired, or the schools she wanted reject her application, which causes her to cry like a bucket and needed that special attention from someone to be around?
Do you see the illogic behind this statement?
I understand that you want your ubiquitous presence to be felt, but it's like trying to demonstrate overwhelming concern over someone when there isn't a need for overwhelming measures; somewhat like you create your own market, inflate the supply side and realize that the demand isn't as great.
The reason why I am saying this is that although it sounded very noble to make remarks like these - it makes no common sense if the situation doesn't fit them. You WILL come across as a hard seller, or some MLM salesman with blatant intention to sell-more-than-an-intention-to-fulfil-needs and turn people off badly.
She, being not ready, is not exactly an issue because when she goes into university and a nice guy runs along, she will be hooked. The truth is that she is not convince over the fact that why she must accept you into her life. We must have a humble understanding that she doesn't love you... yet, because if she does, you wouldn't even be posting your problems here.
You have to sell yourself to her... all your qualities... and not to appear like you are trying too hard, for each time you make her feel uncomfortable,[b] it reinforced one more reason why she should be sceptical and not give you a chance (I said giving chance and not accepting is because the feelings is not mutual). Nobody likes to be in uncomfortable situation - it breeds uncertainty and will adopt a gradual ebbing stance towards the uncomfortable situation (your case probably spells rejection).
Take all things naturally and you might have a fighting chance.
Cheers [/b] -
Do you feel sick of eating chicken rice every few days?Originally posted by o-lua:ermm... yea. i know i have to give her time and relax.
just let her know im there...
but.
HOW?
lols. im actually smsing once every few day alr. i typed myself one..
like saying, when she's tired or something, rmb i will be there for her blablahh..
or im always here!
yea. but i think she's uncomfortable.. or maybe she's sick of it.
im thinking of what shld i do next?
shld i like call, and make her laugh. in the end. i will tell her, actually im only trying to destress her. and make her happier.. blah blah.
but im scare i ruin her study workplan.
i actually asked her out for lunch casually recently but she said no thanks..
and she actually agreed to go dinner with me be4, but in the end, it didnt happen.
yea. what to do, to not stress her up? -
Do you think James Bond will care so much about all these? Do you think James Bond will say "I will be there for you"? He is cool and doesn't talk much...yet he attracts so many girls.Originally posted by o-lua:which is??
well.i dunno
is it she simply doesn't like me.( which i will still continue on..)
or, it's becoz of exam stress or wadeva..
can give me concrete instructions or advice.. ?
like staying away. i know. but how?
how far.. ?
I'm not saying go sign up be an Agent(not MLM one) but the art of pursing has to be subtle. James Bond is cool under every situation. He does not care if the girl likes him or not. Im not saying you adopt his personality but rather his mindset. 007 has no fear. Think, think like him.
There is no need for calculations or strategies. We can give you all the best strategies in the world. Once you managed to get her, she might realise you have no substance at all and there is a possibility that she might leave you for another guy. But if you have an attitude like James Bond she might fall hopelessly in love with you, depending on her loyalty of course, might stick with you forever.
Go build your life, have more hobbies/activities/social life. Don't put your life around a girl. It makes you feel like a lifeless zombie. -
I guess you have all the answers already... Think about it...Originally posted by o-lua:wat shld i do, say i got a girl i like,.... we got quite close.
but she hints tt we shld remains as friends.
i dunno if she likes me. but i do get her attention, like she used to update me on her daily activities.. and now she's having her A levels. she's like quite sian alr.
so we sorta drift apart lest my smsing, to tell her im there for her.
it's always replied with 'thankew!, thanks!'
btw, i know she's not ready for a relationship. and she's nv been in one becoz she thinks she's not ready. she's rather skeptical too.
and i can see she's uneasy when i get overboard...
what shld i do?
or
shld i try to let her feel tt im ard .. but not pushy and pressuring?
if yes, how? -
Just let nature take its course lah... Most successful relationships are rather easy to start... If it is the draggy kind of courtship, then most probably it wont succeed even after the two of you go into a relationship...
So just take it easy and enjoy eating your o-lua