why?
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im turning 18 in November but i sure don't feel 18.coz the freedom gap given upon me as compared to other teenagers is Huge.
The first time i went out with my friends was when i was in sec 2.but only with a condition that i go out,get my stuff n head back home.I was only allowed to carry along my IC with me this June.And up till now,im still not 100% sure how to draw money from the ATM machine,coz of the fact that ma mom doesn't allow me to.
I mean,i'm jealous and sad and sometimes ashamed to see other teenagers,mostly younger than me going out and having fun without any worries.they can go back home early in the morning without having to face constant blabberings from their parents.Me?i don't even have the chance of doing that.Ive talked to my parents a few times before about this and they said they understand that i'm young and want to enjoy life.IF ONLY they really meant what they say.I can see that they don't coz they've given me only a lil bit more freedom but i still feel it's as tho they are half-heartedly giving it to me.My mom still calls me now and then when im outside.Asking where am i,who am i with and stuffs like that.
Ive been wondering why must they not show their full trust even when ive done nothing wrong.Seriously,when im out with my friends,all i do is just to have cool clean fun.I dont smoke and drink anw.So yea,im in confusion to why can't ma parents just let me live my life the way i want it to be.I do understand if there are restrictions but i think this is too much. -
Well, as what yr mum said, it's for yr own good. She's afriad that u might mixed with wrong company just like my mum. But in the end,
rebellious. . Parents will always worry about their children, afriad they turn bad, being bullied, and especially sinces yr're a girl, they scared wait you lost virgin 
, get cheated both body and money, kana HIV or AIDS, pregant and so on. Just wait till u start to work, then tell yr mum u work OT as an excuse. But dun do anything stupid and give them yr trust. Dun get involve in BG relationship so soon. U are still young. Beware of dirty wovles around u when u started to work. If you not convince, try lookin at men where their eyes are looking when they are with a sexy girl wearing short short low low. -
Do you have other siblings?Originally posted by musicmek:im turning 18 in November but i sure don't feel 18.coz the freedom gap given upon me as compared to other teenagers is Huge.
The first time i went out with my friends was when i was in sec 2.but only with a condition that i go out,get my stuff n head back home.I was only allowed to carry along my IC with me this June.And up till now,im still not 100% sure how to draw money from the ATM machine,coz of the fact that ma mom doesn't allow me to.
I mean,i'm jealous and sad and sometimes ashamed to see other teenagers,mostly younger than me going out and having fun without any worries.they can go back home early in the morning without having to face constant blabberings from their parents.Me?i don't even have the chance of doing that.Ive talked to my parents a few times before about this and they said they understand that i'm young and want to enjoy life.IF ONLY they really meant what they say.I can see that they don't coz they've given me only a lil bit more freedom but i still feel it's as tho they are half-heartedly giving it to me.My mom still calls me now and then when im outside.Asking where am i,who am i with and stuffs like that.
Ive been wondering why must they not show their full trust even when ive done nothing wrong.Seriously,when im out with my friends,all i do is just to have cool clean fun.I dont smoke and drink anw.So yea,im in confusion to why can't ma parents just let me live my life the way i want it to be.I do understand if there are restrictions but i think this is too much.
When you really know what you're doing... Sometimes you've got to 'fight' a little...?
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sum times i wish my mum can control me...Originally posted by musicmek:im turning 18 in November but i sure don't feel 18.coz the freedom gap given upon me as compared to other teenagers is Huge.
The first time i went out with my friends was when i was in sec 2.but only with a condition that i go out,get my stuff n head back home.I was only allowed to carry along my IC with me this June.And up till now,im still not 100% sure how to draw money from the ATM machine,coz of the fact that ma mom doesn't allow me to.
I mean,i'm jealous and sad and sometimes ashamed to see other teenagers,mostly younger than me going out and having fun without any worries.they can go back home early in the morning without having to face constant blabberings from their parents.Me?i don't even have the chance of doing that.Ive talked to my parents a few times before about this and they said they understand that i'm young and want to enjoy life.IF ONLY they really meant what they say.I can see that they don't coz they've given me only a lil bit more freedom but i still feel it's as tho they are half-heartedly giving it to me.My mom still calls me now and then when im outside.Asking where am i,who am i with and stuffs like that.
Ive been wondering why must they not show their full trust even when ive done nothing wrong.Seriously,when im out with my friends,all i do is just to have cool clean fun.I dont smoke and drink anw.So yea,im in confusion to why can't ma parents just let me live my life the way i want it to be.I do understand if there are restrictions but i think this is too much. -
Tell your mum that she can't always be with you. I'm rather shocked that at 18 you haven't got the chance to go out solo with your friends. You've gotta have a strong mindset of the values and principles of life which your parents impart to you.Freedom that is given, is not free.
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ah boy! listen to your mom!
shes your mom! and she wont do anything to hurt you!
everything she did was for your own good!
now be a good mama boy ok? or else your mama gonna spank you hard. -
Dude, can i be honest with you? No hard feelings, but after reading your post, i think you fall under the category of "mama's boy".Originally posted by musicmek:Ive been wondering why must they not show their full trust even when ive done nothing wrong.Seriously,when im out with my friends,all i do is just to have cool clean fun.I dont smoke and drink anw.So yea,im in confusion to why can't ma parents just let me live my life the way i want it to be.I do understand if there are restrictions but i think this is too much.
No offence, but at 18, you should learn to grow up. I know your parents probably mean well, but let's face it, you're not 8 or 13 or even 16. A lot of guys go to NS when they are 18.
So basically, a guy your age should start to take responsibility for what he does, because in 3 years time, you will be an adult in the eyes of the law.
My point is this, have a real talk with your parents. What do you want? More freedom? Mention it. Be specific. Some people just want to be able to lead a normal teenagers life and come home before midnight. Others want to be havoc and go clubbing and return home at 3am.
You have to decide what you want.
The last resort, if they don't listen? REBEL. -
Are you a guy or a gal?
If you're a gal, I can understand why your parents are protective of you. The only thing you can do is to slowly work for your independence. Your freedom will come... just make sure you let your parents feel they can trust you entirely.
If you're a guy, you're going to enter army soon. Everything will change once you've enlisted. -
regardless of you b/gOriginally posted by musicmek:im turning 18 in November but i sure don't feel 18.coz the freedom gap given upon me as compared to other teenagers is Huge.
The first time i went out with my friends was when i was in sec 2.but only with a condition that i go out,get my stuff n head back home.I was only allowed to carry along my IC with me this June.And up till now,im still not 100% sure how to draw money from the ATM machine,coz of the fact that ma mom doesn't allow me to.
I mean,i'm jealous and sad and sometimes ashamed to see other teenagers,mostly younger than me going out and having fun without any worries.they can go back home early in the morning without having to face constant blabberings from their parents.Me?i don't even have the chance of doing that.Ive talked to my parents a few times before about this and they said they understand that i'm young and want to enjoy life.IF ONLY they really meant what they say.I can see that they don't coz they've given me only a lil bit more freedom but i still feel it's as tho they are half-heartedly giving it to me.My mom still calls me now and then when im outside.Asking where am i,who am i with and stuffs like that.
Ive been wondering why must they not show their full trust even when ive done nothing wrong.Seriously,when im out with my friends,all i do is just to have cool clean fun.I dont smoke and drink anw.So yea,im in confusion to why can't ma parents just let me live my life the way i want it to be.I do understand if there are restrictions but i think this is too much.
i can tell you that what you hope for = to be like other kids with no nagging from mother/parents is not the same.
they are in a happy well off family, whereas you might be from a average or poor family (reading you comments bout your parents give me this feeling, for i felt exactly the same way like you in the past, few yrs back)
they other kids can spend happily without worrying for money, but if (you're or I am from a poor family) this type of nagging / reminder from parents are normal
they know that money is hard to earn, and thus they keep a higher control over money issues.
if you want to know how to get yourself a bit more freedom like you said you want to, than show to your parents that you're sensible and can be trusted, are you doing the things which they want to see without them reminding you?
can you actually earn yourself a part time job support yourself?
have you see the cruelty of ppl back-stabbing each other for a few hundreds in increment of pay only.
if you haven seen the society, you wun understand their point of view.
try to understand your parents, when they feel that you understand them, than you will get the freedom that you asked for.
with freedom (power to do anything) comes great responsibility (take responsibility of whatever deeds you do outside)
if you want freedom, you have to earn your freedom, not just ask and you get it.
for me personally, i proved my ability to be independent at age 16, so naturally i got my freedom earlier than you, but first and foremost, you have to learn and understand the imporatance of money, and think correctly before you will get your freedom.
i'm not here to lecture you or anything, but just based on my thoughts, i understand what parents are going through. -
I am 17 now, and I don't have a credit nor debit nor atm card.
Okay what. -
Well at 18 i still have to call home and tell my parents what time i am coming home. Coming home late will earn me a earful. Still remember my dad locking me out for being freaking late, scarce the shit out of me.
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that was pretty good advice EXCEPT for the last line. the LAST thing to do is to rebel. DONT rebel. you wont gain anything by rebelling and your parents might become even more strict than they already are.Originally posted by matchless:Dude, can i be honest with you? No hard feelings, but after reading your post, i think you fall under the category of "mama's boy".
No offence, but at 18, you should learn to grow up. I know your parents probably mean well, but let's face it, you're not 8 or 13 or even 16. A lot of guys go to NS when they are 18.
So basically, a guy your age should start to take responsibility for what he does, because in 3 years time, you will be an adult in the eyes of the law.
My point is this, have a real talk with your parents. What do you want? More freedom? Mention it. Be specific. Some people just want to be able to lead a normal teenagers life and come home before midnight. Others want to be havoc and go clubbing and return home at 3am.
You have to decide what you want.
The last resort, if they don't listen? REBEL.
lets look at animals who were kept in captivity for years, and then released into the wild. many will die because they dont know how to survive in the wild suddenly after being kept in cages and fed by people for so long. explain to your parents that you understand that they mean well and like all parents, are a lil worried for you. but at the end of they day, you WONT be living with them forever and they cant take care of you forever. and you will be going to NS soon to eh??? so tell them that you would appreciate it if they give you a lil more space and freedom because you AND your parents will need time to adjust to getting used to not being together. your parents have to understand and accept the fact that they CANNOT control you forever. let them know... giving you a lil more freedom will be beneficial for them as well. -
Just to clarify, rebelling is almost a last-resort action.
Parents neglecting their children are bad. But over-protection has its problems too. You shelter your kids for most of their childhood and they never learn to be street-smart. It's good to learn to be a little tough. It goes a long way.
Here's my opinion. At 18 years, he does not have an ATM card. Does he need one? Not really. Would it be useful if he does? Yes. If he happens to be out, and he's a little short on cash, he can go to an ATM and draw out some money. That's the basic premise. But if we think about why his parents refuse to give him an ATM, we can come surely come up with our own conclusions. ATM card -> easy to withdraw money -> spend money anyhow -> spend on who?
The question is not about ATM cards really. it's not a necessity, just a luxury.
Looking back at his post, what struck me most now is the fact that his parents only allowed him to carry his IC recently. (fyi, singapore law doesn't require its citizens to carry their ICs. it is not an offence. sure there might be some inconvenience if the police stops a person, but it's not an offence)
But think about it. Why only now? We know an IC is valuable. If lost, it's a lot of hassle. But it also proves who a person is. The fact that his parents didnt allow him to carry his own IC until recently goes to show, in my opinion, that they don't trust him enough.
So it seems to me, that the bottom line is "trust". I think the threadstarter has to either earn his parents' trust, or prove it in one way or another. Can be through discussions, or through actions. -
that will teach you a lesson not to fool around with parents' words.Originally posted by NewAge:Well at 18 i still have to call home and tell my parents what time i am coming home. Coming home late will earn me a earful. Still remember my dad locking me out for being freaking late, scarce the shit out of me.
last time i also like that, but that was when i super young that time la.
why they don't like to lock u outside yet they do, their heart aches, but can't be avoided, if they dun do such thing, we as kids will never learn a lesson and be a good child. -
rebel is not only the last option to take, but you only use it when you are virtually being pushed to the last line of defence - the wall with nowhere to go to than you rebel.Originally posted by matchless:Just to clarify, rebelling is almost a last-resort action.
Parents neglecting their children are bad. But over-protection has its problems too. You shelter your kids for most of their childhood and they never learn to be street-smart. It's good to learn to be a little tough. It goes a long way.
Here's my opinion. At 18 years, he does not have an ATM card. Does he need one? Not really. Would it be useful if he does? Yes. If he happens to be out, and he's a little short on cash, he can go to an ATM and draw out some money. That's the basic premise. But if we think about why his parents refuse to give him an ATM, we can come surely come up with our own conclusions. ATM card -> easy to withdraw money -> spend money anyhow -> spend on who?
The question is not about ATM cards really. it's not a necessity, just a luxury.
Looking back at his post, what struck me most now is the fact that his parents only allowed him to carry his IC recently. (fyi, singapore law doesn't require its citizens to carry their ICs. it is not an offence. sure there might be some inconvenience if the police stops a person, but it's not an offence)
But think about it. Why only now? We know an IC is valuable. If lost, it's a lot of hassle. But it also proves who a person is. The fact that his parents didnt allow him to carry his own IC until recently goes to show, in my opinion, that they don't trust him enough.
So it seems to me, that the bottom line is "trust". I think the threadstarter has to either earn his parents' trust, or prove it in one way or another. Can be through discussions, or through actions.
i had mine quite young around primary sch, many yrs back already...there's acutally a price to pay if you want to gain freedom the fast way. I had my fair share of price to pay.
if you aren't ready to lose some of the things which you are enjoying now, den dun even think of getting freedom the fast way!
when there's gain, there's something which you ought to lose.
no one can have all the good things by themselves one.
if you want a normal route of freedom, just grow up and be more mature first, other things will come sooner when your parents see the mature (grown up change factor) in you than they will slowly learn to give you more freedom.
as for money, with the usage of ATM, you ought to have discipline yourself.
why most parents don't let kids have atm, worried that your savings over the years will be gone in no time. For me personally my elder brother and sister have this brother. So i know how it's like to be lacking in discipline yet have a card on hand. Imagine you have a card, but inisde bal is $0/-
how would you feel
or would you prefer to know that your bank has $xxxx/- for you when you are ready to take control of your own card with the necessary discipline needed. -
Like that no indepedent thought surely cannot do well in interviews. Woo, good going lousy parenting..
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care to elaborate more on this?Originally posted by pwnz0r:Like that no indepedent thought surely cannot do well in interviews. Woo, good going lousy parenting.. -
hey...i am oso 18 this year..
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If we say things like, "Its for your own good". You'll most probably say that we're ignorant, Perhaps you might not understand it. But in actual FACT, In time you'll understand why they're doing this.
You might think that they are overprotecting, Well than think about people whom you mentioned back then. Do you think they are better than you? Well the fact that your parents are actually setting rules and regulations for you even when your 18, It actually means something. Its just how you interpret it. I'll leave you to that. -
when i was 18, i wasnt allowed to go out with my friends. didnt have pocket money blah blah blah...
i rebelled,argued every single day and basically screwed things up.
but now, i realize that its not ALL that bad...
hehe...kids will always be kids and at this age, i guess we all just wanna be FREE and independent and 'grown up'.
eh...appreciate your parents ok. no matter what it is that they do. they just want the best for you. just that you may not agree with what they have in mind. talk to them. try to compromise. let them know that you appreciate what they are doing,but sometimes parents also need to let go... -
i'm 18 too. I have an atm card.. and my dad dont mind me using it... but my mum seems to have great objections about it. She meant good anyway. She hopes that i can save up money for the future. But sometimes.. i still wish that i have some extra cash at hand.. so that i can spurge on some goodies for myself or presents for girls.. haha..
I would be asking for trouble if i ask money from my parents for such reasons.. not that i'd be scolded.. i just dont like to be bombarded with questions.. -
let me warn you, YOU ARE THE EASY TARGET FOR BLANKET PARTY...
go into army, and you will learn to be independent and have time away from your mum's control... -
u need a talk, to whoever will listen
mum, or dad...
and before the talk, ask yourself if they've given u chance.. and did u do things tt disappoint them be4.
if yes, promise urself and them u will have a grip of ur life.
if no, just tell them tt. and ask them to loosen up la. =)
anyway, u are fortunate.
they loves u.
how many 16-yr old is FORCED to draw money from atm.. becoz their parents is stingy abt given allowance already.. yea, if u get what i mean. -
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trust me...you wouldn't want to learn how to use the bloody atmOriginally posted by musicmek:I was only allowed to carry along my IC with me this June.And up till now,im still not 100% sure how to draw money from the ATM machine,coz of the fact that ma mom doesn't allow me to.
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