do u think
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that in this world there r so so many of cruel, bad people. i find so, everywhere, so far i 've not seen any good kind soul. all i met is all bad ones, even in front of u they are really nice, they show they r nice, caring good ppl, but actually they r not. behind u they love to talk bad of u, gossip and so on. very sad, sometimes all these ppl irritate u and hurt u deeply. i tried not to get affected byt his kind of ppl but still it reach adn hurt me. sometimes, they love just to make up story of u, or they just love it if u do mistakes esp at working place, they love if u r forgetful, wrong or they just love to find yr mistakes and tell the whole world abt it. even if u did it once, they keep on repeating it all their life. i am not that kind of ppl, i always tried to hide ppl mistakes, and cover up for them, and never find it is so a nice thing to tell other ppl or make a show of it. soemtimes in life there is no body or nothing u can trust on, even the ppl u like or trust also can play u back and make u look like a fool, so who to trust in this world. everywhere i go i find ppl just love to find my mistakes, or talk behind, gossiping even i never bother abt them, they still love to do that. the worst is they make a impression (bad) of u to everybody, and makes other ppl also think badly abt u., i really find human being very cruel, cared too much abt themselves, want to be the top & can bring ppl down just cos they r afraid they be down so they pull other ppl down first. I 've never yet to met any nice good ppl all my life, except for both my parents. that all, my husband also a good person. even though i am not a hyprocrite or bad person sometimes i am tempted to learn from all those cruel ppl. like at workplace ppl just love to find yr mistake even u did it once, they talk all their life, and make u feel or look like a fool, and antyhign good abt u they gossip it bad beind u and in front they act like an angel. is it like that means real world.?i wnat to be nice also cannot, should i show my anger face, be fierce and unapproachable next time?from all the self help book I've read, all said be kind, always listen ot others, make other feel important, i 've tried but i failed. in the endi get the pain and hurt.
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sure got very nice ppl leh only u haven met b4,
below text is my experience -
b4 i got enlisted in2 army,
i used to work as a PT waiter in a rest. n nearly everyday worked for 12hrs..
as the time goes by i soon get to know all ppl there n there was this supervisor who's a chinese Malaysian who treated me very nice,
n nearly every breaktime we had during in between shiftworks,
she cfm bring along me wif some of our colleagues to eat at other rest.,
n everytime she will sponsor me..
then 1 fine day, she asked me whether i hav any difficulties in paying my sch fee anot? n i was quite shocked as hw she knew tat i was actually paying my fees on myself..
finally i get to know tat it was actually my fren who told her abt my family prob,
as my current mum is a step-mum n somehw i dont know how she psycho my dad into not paying my sch fees anymore since O level plus no pocket $ allowed, which until nw i still hated her alot..
there4 after O lvl till the whole of poly days i hav to worked..
but in the end i nv take her $ even though she keep wanting to pay for my sch fees n even say if i go Univer. she will cont sponsor me..
kaoz,
at tat time i was tinking hw gd it will be if she is my stepmum,
but sad to say it wasnt..
haiz, life is sometimes wif so little ups but alot of downs..
we still hav to go on..
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Some people meet alot of 'bad' people, turned cynical and stoop to their level.
What would you do? -
It would be alot better if you can do paragraphing. I had my eyes popped reading it.
You have seen alot, but you have not seen it all. Coz there ARE nice people out there, just that you have not looked outside your current social circle. I believe the people you mentioned are those at your workplace and a few friends you have made in the past few years.
I know it is very hard to ignore their "behind back" talks and other hurting stuffs. What I do know is that there are alot of goodness to look forward to in life to keep each and everyone of us going.
If you find it painful, you can try to get away from them first. Socialise with them less. Find other people to interact with or spend more time with your family.
If you find your work enviornment disgusted, quit the job and find another. What you want is a working area which is good to your health, not just only good to your wallet.
WHatever way you see it, remember: there ARE nice people out there.
Beers!
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Originally posted by alba:that in this world there r so so many of cruel, bad people. i find so, everywhere, so far i 've not seen any good kind soul. all i met is all bad ones, even in front of u they are really nice, they show they r nice, caring good ppl, but actually they r not. behind u they love to talk bad of u, gossip and so on. very sad, sometimes all these ppl irritate u and hurt u deeply. i tried not to get affected byt his kind of ppl but still it reach adn hurt me. sometimes, they love just to make up story of u, or they just love it if u do mistakes esp at working place, they love if u r forgetful, wrong or they just love to find yr mistakes and tell the whole world abt it. even if u did it once, they keep on repeating it all their life. i am not that kind of ppl, i always tried to hide ppl mistakes, and cover up for them, and never find it is so a nice thing to tell other ppl or make a show of it. soemtimes in life there is no body or nothing u can trust on, even the ppl u like or trust also can play u back and make u look like a fool, so who to trust in this world. everywhere i go i find ppl just love to find my mistakes, or talk behind, gossiping even i never bother abt them, they still love to do that. the worst is they make a impression (bad) of u to everybody, and makes other ppl also think badly abt u., i really find human being very cruel, cared too much abt themselves, want to be the top & can bring ppl down just cos they r afraid they be down so they pull other ppl down first. I 've never yet to met any nice good ppl all my life, except for both my parents. that all, my husband also a good person. even though i am not a hyprocrite or bad person sometimes i am tempted to learn from all those cruel ppl. like at workplace ppl just love to find yr mistake even u did it once, they talk all their life, and make u feel or look like a fool, and antyhign good abt u they gossip it bad beind u and in front they act like an angel. is it like that means real world.?i wnat to be nice also cannot, should i show my anger face, be fierce and unapproachable next time?from all the self help book I've read, all said be kind, always listen ot others, make other feel important, i 've tried but i failed. in the endi get the pain and hurt.
I am not selective of friends, but I am selective on who is paramount to my life.
I b!tch about people that makes no meaning in my life and protect those that I see as important because I reckon even if I don't b!tch about people whom I have bad impression, they will b!tch about me. So I will have to balance it up on my side.
I always believe that if the initial and second impression fails badly, it's almost impossible to change that kind of impression people has in you. It just stuck there because the impression burns into them. Therefore, realising this part of yourself, there isn't a need to try so hard, other than just having to maintain decent working relationship. What you can do now is to focus your change towards the impression of future friends, whom you are going to meet later part of your life.
I always tell the above statement to people suffering from your kind of crisis.
You must always remember that friends and colleague are mutually exclusive. If you see someone as friends, you won't see him/her as colleague and vice versa.
Focus more onto the people important to you! I won't even waste my time concentrating on a bunch of people that makes no meaning in my life than to develop better relationship with people paramount to my personal growth.
Cheers -
Have you ever ask yourself why those people might be doing those things to you.....?Originally posted by alba:that in this world there r so so many of cruel, bad people. i find so, everywhere, so far i 've not seen any good kind soul. all i met is all bad ones, even in front of u they are really nice, they show they r nice, caring good ppl, but actually they r not. behind u they love to talk bad of u, gossip and so on. very sad, sometimes all these ppl irritate u and hurt u deeply. i tried not to get affected byt his kind of ppl but still it reach adn hurt me. sometimes, they love just to make up story of u, or they just love it if u do mistakes esp at working place, they love if u r forgetful, wrong or they just love to find yr mistakes and tell the whole world abt it. even if u did it once, they keep on repeating it all their life. i am not that kind of ppl, i always tried to hide ppl mistakes, and cover up for them, and never find it is so a nice thing to tell other ppl or make a show of it. soemtimes in life there is no body or nothing u can trust on, even the ppl u like or trust also can play u back and make u look like a fool, so who to trust in this world. everywhere i go i find ppl just love to find my mistakes, or talk behind, gossiping even i never bother abt them, they still love to do that. the worst is they make a impression (bad) of u to everybody, and makes other ppl also think badly abt u., i really find human being very cruel, cared too much abt themselves, want to be the top & can bring ppl down just cos they r afraid they be down so they pull other ppl down first. I 've never yet to met any nice good ppl all my life, except for both my parents. that all, my husband also a good person. even though i am not a hyprocrite or bad person sometimes i am tempted to learn from all those cruel ppl. like at workplace ppl just love to find yr mistake even u did it once, they talk all their life, and make u feel or look like a fool, and antyhign good abt u they gossip it bad beind u and in front they act like an angel. is it like that means real world.?i wnat to be nice also cannot, should i show my anger face, be fierce and unapproachable next time?from all the self help book I've read, all said be kind, always listen ot others, make other feel important, i 've tried but i failed. in the endi get the pain and hurt. -
i know why becos all ppl hate me and don't like me and just love to bully me. ok just becos i am quite and do't talk much, never defend myself, i am always the object of bully. there are so so many bullies everywhere and i know i am easy prey, ok even i am not wrong i find it hard to defend myself, i am lack of strong character, i am weak, the whole ppl know i am weak type and easy to get bullied. ok even if my friends make mistake and i know it, i never complain or tell to boss or higher ppl. i just keep quite i pity them, don't want to betray them, but if i make any small mistake, they shout loudly i am the one, so i find life is tough on me.Originally posted by Devil1976:Have you ever ask yourself why those people might be doing those things to you.....?
i hve never try to talk back when i am scolded even i know i am not wrong. i don't know how t o help myself to be loud mouth. there r some ppl that r wrong but they can talk or act as though they r not wrong and fool ppl. like me, work hard, quiet but seen as useless. very sad. i find alot of ppl never see me 2nd time,they never bother to like me, or find me interesting. even my relatives also, never bother to get close to me, they feel i am brainless, i can feel all their body language, if atttend function, they avoid me, or just never ask for any of my opinions or topic. i am always left alone. they r some that even purposely want to make me feel bad or sad by taking away all ppol and leave me alone. very sad my life. i feel down always. i feel i am always sensitive to ppl feeling, i've never hurt them, or never talk bad but why they r running away from me. i tried to be nice to them but they just hate me.
working wise, at work there r some that like to talk bad abt me, just for 1 or 2 time mistakes, they talk all their life. ok i may make mistake before, but now i 've improve, but they take that old mistakes ex. and treat it like everyday i do that. so sad, they love to find my mistakes, or just love to bring me down.
i am suffering but i can take it, i am used to it..just thinking how to be more stronger. i read lots of self help book how to be stornger and how to command respect, so far no one respect me. very sad, wbat is wrong. -
i don't know about others.
i live life by my own pace and standard. at the end of the day, you won't be facing them and their problems but your own mistakes and achievements. -
Do not think too deeply into what others may seem to put you down. It is this passing around of their own insecurity.
All and everybody have insecurities , most people take the easy way out and pass this insecurity on by gossiping etc. Making jokes out of people etc , in fact we all make use of each other in the workplace.
Such that there must be some mutual understanding between colleagues, isolating yourself brings yourself further and further away from effective work and becomes the effective target of subject of insecurity.
Even Management have their own insecurities. Some people managed to become management by politics and have grow major insecurities on who can help themselves and not .
So it is better focused on what needs to be done for yourself and also what is effective. Accomplishments become secondary to survival in such a climate and depends on how you weight on your gains and losses , you can make your decision on your mental well-being, or your social well-being. -
no summary?
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such nice pple exist? wow u restored a little of my faith in humanity!Originally posted by a-Lost-9uY:sure got very nice ppl leh only u haven met b4,
below text is my experience -
b4 i got enlisted in2 army,
i used to work as a PT waiter in a rest. n nearly everyday worked for 12hrs..
as the time goes by i soon get to know all ppl there n there was this supervisor who's a chinese Malaysian who treated me very nice,
n nearly every breaktime we had during in between shiftworks,
she cfm bring along me wif some of our colleagues to eat at other rest.,
n everytime she will sponsor me..
then 1 fine day, she asked me whether i hav any difficulties in paying my sch fee anot? n i was quite shocked as hw she knew tat i was actually paying my fees on myself..
finally i get to know tat it was actually my fren who told her abt my family prob,
as my current mum is a step-mum n somehw i dont know how she psycho my dad into not paying my sch fees anymore since O level plus no pocket $ allowed, which until nw i still hated her alot..
there4 after O lvl till the whole of poly days i hav to worked..
but in the end i nv take her $ even though she keep wanting to pay for my sch fees n even say if i go Univer. she will cont sponsor me..
kaoz,
at tat time i was tinking hw gd it will be if she is my stepmum,
but sad to say it wasnt..
haiz, life is sometimes wif so little ups but alot of downs..
we still hav to go on..
thanks -
hey my step mum even worse, she nearly carry the sofa chair and want to throw at me, ok she is so angry when my dad love me or care for me, she is so angry that i am close with my dad, at night when sitting for my A level , she got angry and shouted at me if i want to go university or what, study so hard, as i am studying in kitchen, she just bang the toilet door and shouted and it hurt me, until today she still got angry very angry when my dad talk on phone with me, and so on, it goes on and on, nad she poison my dad mind to hate me but she failed. everyday when i hear her footstep out my house, i know she is back from work wow my heart beat so fast and i felt so scared, cos she is forever picking fight with me, she will bang the door, n find fault with me, so i got to stay in my room until she sleep then i can go out of my room, or i got to eat in my room, very sad my life, until i failed my exam and got married to escape her.Originally posted by Rock^Star:such nice pple exist? wow u restored a little of my faith in humanity! thanks
and there are ppl that u known, that just ignore u, they just look u down and ignore u 100% like they don't know u, why ? so far i know i make no mistake to htem, but suddenly they just ignore me or keep away from me or just look me donw and never talk to me a word.
and there r ppl that r cunning, clever , make use of ppl , and yet ppl respect them, why???
so far i've never met anyy nicest ppl on earth except my parents.
i tried to be nice ppl but always ppl take advantage of me. i do'nt know. sad lah. -
perhaps u are a little soft when u interact with people?
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sp my question here is how to be harsh, hard and be metallic strong?? tell me share with me, i am really sad.Originally posted by Rock^Star:perhaps u are a little soft when u interact with people? -
The only way there are ever gonna be good people is to be a good one yourself.If you are good to people, people will naturally be good to you.
If they treat you harshly even if you are good to them, try repaying evil with good.They will eventually treat you well and change their habits. Dun be angry with bad people, pity them and move on.
PS:But dun be a sucker and let yourself be controlled -
well, i'm no life guru but what i can say is that there's no fixed formula. We must be harsh, firm, soft, compassionate, ruthless etc all in one. Be like chameleons. Oh well, perhaps it would be good if u could get urself a role model.Originally posted by alba:sp my question here is how to be harsh, hard and be metallic strong?? tell me share with me, i am really sad. -
I thought you have a husband? Isn't he doing something about this? Isn't your father doing anything about it?Originally posted by alba:hey my step mum even worse, she nearly carry the sofa chair and want to throw at me, ok she is so angry when my dad love me or care for me, she is so angry that i am close with my dad, at night when sitting for my A level , she got angry and shouted at me if i want to go university or what, study so hard, as i am studying in kitchen, she just bang the toilet door and shouted and it hurt me, until today she still got angry very angry when my dad talk on phone with me, and so on, it goes on and on, nad she poison my dad mind to hate me but she failed. everyday when i hear her footstep out my house, i know she is back from work wow my heart beat so fast and i felt so scared, cos she is forever picking fight with me, she will bang the door, n find fault with me, so i got to stay in my room until she sleep then i can go out of my room, or i got to eat in my room, very sad my life, until i failed my exam and got married to escape her.
and there are ppl that u known, that just ignore u, they just look u down and ignore u 100% like they don't know u, why ? so far i know i make no mistake to htem, but suddenly they just ignore me or keep away from me or just look me donw and never talk to me a word.
and there r ppl that r cunning, clever , make use of ppl , and yet ppl respect them, why???
so far i've never met anyy nicest ppl on earth except my parents.
i tried to be nice ppl but always ppl take advantage of me. i do'nt know. sad lah.
I think what you need is faith and commitment towards something. Maybe a good family or help towards other people.
Ever thought of going into social work? -
yeap dad is always protecting me even now that i am married off. hubby can't do anything, the most saddiest thing that i am so so worried is what if 1 day my dad fall sick or ////// then, what if she won't allow me to see my dad, i can't even imagine that, that is so scary of all., hey i tired to be so nice to her, also she hates me.
i meet all the bad ppl everywhere. there are also some that just want me to feel bad, and they knew i am shy, quiet, they are happy i am not able to socalise and they love to target that abt me. -
thanks what do u mean by dun be a sucker & let yourself be controlled? meaning don't let ppl control me is it?Originally posted by -purpose:The only way there are ever gonna be good people is to be a good one yourself.If you are good to people, people will naturally be good to you.
If they treat you harshly even if you are good to them, try repaying evil with good.They will eventually treat you well and change their habits. Dun be angry with bad people, pity them and move on.
PS:But dun be a sucker and let yourself be controlled -
You sound just like me. Quiet and easily bullied. But have faith. There are many nice people around. Your husband has faith in you. Looking back over my past jobs, I remember some really wonderful people and some really nasty ones. You see, it is like a bell curve. You have some really nice ones, maybe 10%. Some really nasty ones, another 10%, and the rest just average. Dont let the nasty ones influence your opinion of people in general.
Sometimes it is the work environment that does this to people, turn them from nice to bitchy. But I dont agree when you say you keep quiet and cover up for other people when they are wrong. People lose respect for you when you 'silently' admit to something you didnt do. Then you become an easy target. Maybe it is time to change into a better environment, and this time you should be more assertive.
And have faith, yah. There is so many beautiful things. You have a wonderful father and a husband there for you. Your friends. Maybe you also need to build on your confidence. And appreciate your good health, your having a job, and the nature and animals around us. -
if you dun want to be treated this way again, just find another work place to work lor, or at least learn how to stand up for yourself.Originally posted by alba:i know why becos all ppl hate me and don't like me and just love to bully me. ok just becos i am quite and do't talk much, never defend myself, i am always the object of bully. there are so so many bullies everywhere and i know i am easy prey, ok even i am not wrong i find it hard to defend myself, i am lack of strong character, i am weak, the whole ppl know i am weak type and easy to get bullied. ok even if my friends make mistake and i know it, i never complain or tell to boss or higher ppl. i just keep quite i pity them, don't want to betray them, but if i make any small mistake, they shout loudly i am the one, so i find life is tough on me.
i hve never try to talk back when i am scolded even i know i am not wrong. i don't know how t o help myself to be loud mouth. there r some ppl that r wrong but they can talk or act as though they r not wrong and fool ppl. like me, work hard, quiet but seen as useless. very sad. i find alot of ppl never see me 2nd time,they never bother to like me, or find me interesting. even my relatives also, never bother to get close to me, they feel i am brainless, i can feel all their body language, if atttend function, they avoid me, or just never ask for any of my opinions or topic. i am always left alone. they r some that even purposely want to make me feel bad or sad by taking away all ppol and leave me alone. very sad my life. i feel down always. i feel i am always sensitive to ppl feeling, i've never hurt them, or never talk bad but why they r running away from me. i tried to be nice to them but they just hate me.
working wise, at work there r some that like to talk bad abt me, just for 1 or 2 time mistakes, they talk all their life. ok i may make mistake before, but now i 've improve, but they take that old mistakes ex. and treat it like everyday i do that. so sad, they love to find my mistakes, or just love to bring me down.
i am suffering but i can take it, i am used to it..just thinking how to be more stronger. i read lots of self help book how to be stornger and how to command respect, so far no one respect me. very sad, wbat is wrong. -
there very less good pple out there but there always be a few
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Try to get a new group of friends who all hardly know you and see where ya get on to with that group...Originally posted by alba:i know why becos all ppl hate me and don't like me and just love to bully me. ok just becos i am quite and do't talk much, never defend myself, i am always the object of bully. there are so so many bullies everywhere and i know i am easy prey, ok even i am not wrong i find it hard to defend myself, i am lack of strong character, i am weak, the whole ppl know i am weak type and easy to get bullied. ok even if my friends make mistake and i know it, i never complain or tell to boss or higher ppl. i just keep quite i pity them, don't want to betray them, but if i make any small mistake, they shout loudly i am the one, so i find life is tough on me.
i hve never try to talk back when i am scolded even i know i am not wrong. i don't know how t o help myself to be loud mouth. there r some ppl that r wrong but they can talk or act as though they r not wrong and fool ppl. like me, work hard, quiet but seen as useless. very sad. i find alot of ppl never see me 2nd time,they never bother to like me, or find me interesting. even my relatives also, never bother to get close to me, they feel i am brainless, i can feel all their body language, if atttend function, they avoid me, or just never ask for any of my opinions or topic. i am always left alone. they r some that even purposely want to make me feel bad or sad by taking away all ppol and leave me alone. very sad my life. i feel down always. i feel i am always sensitive to ppl feeling, i've never hurt them, or never talk bad but why they r running away from me. i tried to be nice to them but they just hate me.
working wise, at work there r some that like to talk bad abt me, just for 1 or 2 time mistakes, they talk all their life. ok i may make mistake before, but now i 've improve, but they take that old mistakes ex. and treat it like everyday i do that. so sad, they love to find my mistakes, or just love to bring me down.
i am suffering but i can take it, i am used to it..just thinking how to be more stronger. i read lots of self help book how to be stornger and how to command respect, so far no one respect me. very sad, wbat is wrong.
Nobody's asking you to be a 'super nice person' to the people who are not nice to you... If you're doing it that way.... You must be most willing to bear the consequences of your own choice and decision.... -
Erm... IF your father really //////, even as his wife, she cannot stop you from seeing her. Worst comes to worst, go to court to settle this dispute, but lets not go there.Originally posted by alba:yeap dad is always protecting me even now that i am married off. hubby can't do anything, the most saddiest thing that i am so so worried is what if 1 day my dad fall sick or ////// then, what if she won't allow me to see my dad, i can't even imagine that, that is so scary of all., hey i tired to be so nice to her, also she hates me.
i meet all the bad ppl everywhere. there are also some that just want me to feel bad, and they knew i am shy, quiet, they are happy i am not able to socalise and they love to target that abt me.
How you know they happy you not able to socialise? From what you described about those people, seems they MORE insecure than you, that is why they pick on you. To make themselves feel better and superior.
Thus ALL THE MORE you cannot abandon yourself and you should continue to be yourself regardless of the circumstances. If its hard for you to work with those people, leave. Boss ask why, tell your boss everything before going.
If its friends who do this to you, sorry but they are not friends worth keeping. Socialise with them LESS and build new ones or strenghten the relationship ties with the people who do treat you well, like your dad and hubby for example. -
there are also ppl that i met is like they hate u from the start, and as u are their relative and close relative, no choice u just hv to see them often, that kind is really scary. that someone hate me from the start then as years pass it never get better, it seem to get worse. i don't know why she just dislike me, not hate but just don't like me, no matter how nice or good or helpful i am to her, she still dislike me, and is always finding my fault and sometimes she just ignore me, out of respect i always greet her or be so nice to her, then the next day she just ignore me completely like i did thing wrong to her, it is so sad, stres and confusing.
no husband did not really treat me nice, he got bad up and down, he is ego, and he love to swear and curse too, and also love to ignore me when he is angry, why me??? when he ignore me, i feel my world collapse, i am lost, bored, and sad, and very disturb. i relaly can't let go my heafrt from him, what good to do? now again he is ignoring me and angry with me. very sad, i feel really down inside.i don't understand why i am always having to make other ppl happy. no one care of how i feel