Those who never have a relationship before.......
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That's a good one.Originally posted by GameGoddess:Nope, never.
I don't give a crap about following the crowd just because every girl's got some guy hanging off her arm like some fashion accessory.
If you haven't found the girl you want - don't go finding one just because everyone's doing it. herd mentality is NASTY.
The important thing is that you're happy and doing what you want. Not doing something because it's cool, it's hip and its in.
Good for them, they've got a girlfriend/boyfriend. But for me, besides my own personal beliefs about relationships (not religious), there's no reason to jump into the bandwagon just because I feel 'left out'.
Remember, most relationships are like movie stars. They look all happy cappy and some even look glam on the outside, but you're not the one facing the fights, the problems, the unhappiness, of many of the things that plague keeping a girlfriend/boyfriend.
See, the problem with most people when getting into a relationship is they rush. Im speaking from a guy's point of view. See why there are so many relationship problems is because so many guys rush into it for the sake of companionship. They see, ooh, that girl is damn chio, I want her to be my girlfriend. But the more important question is whether she wants to be your girlfriend.
Not only that, you also have to see if she is the type of girl that is good for a long-term relationship. She has to be putting effort and commitment into the relationship and not expect the guy to keep pleasing her all the time. Of course, the guy has to put some effort into making the relationship a fun one.
To outsiders who are single in a relationship, they yearn to have a girlfriend. But alas, they do not know the sacrifices and maintainence that comes with a relationship. Not to mention the added stress and pressure at times. In fact, it's better to be single and free from worries than to have a relationship. That's hope for people who are longing to have a relationship.
Lastly, if you are not happy without a relationship, what makes you think you can cope with one?
doko -
Hmmm,got pro and cons lah...
Pros:
1. No need to spent extra $$$$$
2. Someone to talk to when ur day sucks
3. Someone to have dinner with when ur parents are not around
Cons:
1. No one to spent with on a festive occasions
2. Get kinda lonely when doing the same old stuffs
3. Not able to talk to someone if ur frens or u dun wan ur parents to noe..
Anyway getting a gf is not a fashion or trendsetting... It is kuz a way of life ba... To have a gf is not to flant to ppl that u have a gf.. It is to show her care and concern when she is feeling sad,take care of her when she is sick... So there is like pros and cons to it lor... -
Even people who are attached or even married feel lonely at times simply because non can understand them. Actually no one of us can understand our ownselves 100%.
So... attached or no, you still will feel lonely. -
I have been thinking about that too... and I sometimes wonder whether its the result of urban city life where people are increasingly lonelier even though there are more and more humans?Originally posted by Bontakun:Even people who are attached or even married feel lonely at times simply because non can understand them. Actually no one of us can understand our ownselves 100%.
So... attached or no, you still will feel lonely.
I meant compare to the old kampong days where everyone is everybody's friend in the kampong? Will a villager ever be lonely? -
Hmm... I more of assume it occurs through every generation since the age of man.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:I have been thinking about that too... and I sometimes wonder whether its the result of urban city life where people are increasingly lonelier even though there are more and more humans?
I meant compare to the old kampong days where everyone is everybody's friend in the kampong? Will a villager ever be lonely?
Man has developed conscious and possess a free will, thus the ability to think freely and unrestricted... well... restricted by what man do not know.
Possibly because of the simplicity of the life in kampong or earlier, there is no need to wrack the brain to develop a higher level of establishment since life is easily contented and thus very few will think "too far" and felt isolated from the crowd.
On the contrary, in the modern day life most humans are too obsessed with the notion of "out-doing" one another that they try to device ways and patterns to prove themselves better or "different" from others. Therefore it is highly unlikely one can identify with another because of the competiveness and many other factors.
BUT as long as we are willing: willing to understand, willing to listen, willing to feel compassion towards one another... it is still possible to relate with another person at a certain level and because of that rare understanding, one might not feel as lonely as it can be. As long as we are willing... -
Not saying that rushing into a relationship but getting to expanding the social life thus better chance of getting to know more girls and be normal friends with them and see whether she is suitable for you so it is not rushing at all and somehow well planned.
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Well... I'll say if you never had a r/s before how can you ever weigh the pros and cons? If you ever feel lonely and you suka a girl... why not hang out more with her? Expanding social circle+dating girls/guys makes your social life more interesting in my opinion... and if you finally find someone special... don't wait.Originally posted by toll123:......do you feel lonely sometimes and envy those with girlfriend?
I'm not saying that we should suka suka find a gf just because we are lonely but do you think that something must be done to counter this problem like expanding social circle etc? -
play games or going out with family during festival sound like a good proposal for those who are single
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Lastly, if you are not happy without a relationship, what makes you think you can cope with one?
I really like the sound of that statement
Bravo!
*Claps*
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know more friend than get to know others girl lo
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Pretty much agree that no men will understand themselves fully.Originally posted by Bontakun:Even people who are attached or even married feel lonely at times simply because non can understand them. Actually no one of us can understand our ownselves 100%.
So... attached or no, you still will feel lonely.
However, if there is a higher state of self conciousness and awareness in surroundings. These people will have the edge compared to those being confused over their decisions and trying to figure what to do.
In this situation, the person with high conciousness will understand more about himself. But not many will understand him.
That's where the tricky part lies. -
not in relationship b4, go do something to get into one.Originally posted by toll123:......do you feel lonely sometimes and envy those with girlfriend?
I'm not saying that we should suka suka find a gf just because we are lonely but do you think that something must be done to counter this problem like expanding social circle etc?
It's uplifting, wonderful, sweet, interesting, and so on. Be ready to accept the pros and cons from a relationship. 
Wish u luck! -
FATE.. must have yuan fen
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I think its still easier for males to find SO (significant others). At least u have the right to woo. If a female woos a male, usually the male will be turned off. Hence ...no worries lah...even if your friends are mostly males. Probably join some very female based CC activities (yoga?), than will get to know more femlaes / join certain ECA that is usually more female based (choir hahaha?)
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How can it be fair for someone to have it easier if he/she is entitled to put in little or no effort?Originally posted by sheri:I think its still easier for males to find SO (significant others). At least u have the right to woo. If a female woos a male, usually the male will be turned off. Naturally, those who have the courage to woo should deservedly have it easier? -
80% of my classmates friends already have a date. Sure i do envy them. They even want to play match make.
The downfall for them is that they got "RESPONSIBILITIES -
me never attached too before. 24 already. Envy, jealousy, horniness, sadness, frustration of being single, i have experienced them before. i have to worked on how to remove these negative emotions and thoughts. on the other hand, i also need to work on being more friendly and sociable so that i could get a girlfriend oneday. i am the quiet, boring type.
For sure i know that girlfriend is not everything in life. It is still a necessary thing, an important part of life. Especially when your peers are getting hooked and unhooked every now and then while i am in the forever single mode, its gets more frustrating and depressing.
Fate is just pure crap... i think Fate= luck ... that is the actual meaning. if u are lucky u will get a girlfriend that is similar and compatible to u by chance that you happen to be in the same place at the same time.
just as there are luck , there is therefore unlucky.. some people are still unattached before in mid 30s......... for people who keeps talking about fate, do they understand the actual feelings and experience of people who are in the 30s and never had a girlfriend before.
so for those that talk about fate, do we still have to actively seek for partners by joining date agenices, CCA, social events? By taking proactive steps to expand our social encounter, we are taking accountability for our singlehood problem and not leaving it to fate. If your definition of fate does include the fact that you should take proactive steps to expand your social circle instead of finding excuses, then does not it means that in fate, you bascially have to take actions frequently. If your definition of fate means that you do not need to do anything because fate will decide your encounter with that girl, does not it then contradict the advice of taking proactive steps?
I also believe the first few relationship are hard to survive because couples tend to quarrel and its hard to resolve couple problems sometimes.. -
You are what you believe! Fate = Luck then what? Everybody drop out of school and depend on Fate=Luck?Originally posted by january:me never attached too before. 24 already. Envy, jealousy, horniness, sadness, frustration of being single, i have experienced them before. i have to worked on how to remove these negative emotions and thoughts. on the other hand, i also need to work on being more friendly and sociable so that i could get a girlfriend oneday. i am the quiet, boring type.
For sure i know that girlfriend is not everything in life. It is still a necessary thing, an important part of life. Especially when your peers are getting hooked and unhooked every now and then while i am in the forever single mode, its gets more frustrating and depressing.
Fate is just pure crap... i think Fate= luck ... that is the actual meaning. if u are lucky u will get a girlfriend that is similar and compatible to u by chance that you happen to be in the same place at the same time.
just as there are luck , there is therefore unlucky.. some people are still unattached before in mid 30s......... for people who keeps talking about fate, do they understand the actual feelings and experience of people who are in the 30s and never had a girlfriend before.
I also believe thefirst few relationship are hard to survive because couples tend to quarrel and its hard to resolve couple problems sometimes..
No lah, you must get up, use your brains and do something about it. Read self help books, read philosophy books, read religious nooks then work it all out for yourself. -
the feeling when u are attached , is so wonderful that u wont be saying all these when u actually experienced it.
and i mean the " honey moon " period. -
find a gan jie like me
or tok to ur pillow -
why practising first huhOriginally posted by MyPillowTalks:find a gan jie like me
or tok to ur pillow -
hanorOriginally posted by Kenashi:why practising first huh -
ooiiOriginally posted by givemeluck:the feeling when u are attached , is so wonderful that u wont be saying all these when u actually experienced it.
and i mean the " honey moon " period.
the honeymoon period is only so short, at most 6 months.
after that, the aftermath set in
"why u aren't like last time, fetch me from work, give me flowers"
"why last time u prepare breakfast for me, now only maggi mee" -
i always thought that women r complex creatures.Originally posted by M©+square:Pretty much agree that no men will understand themselves fully.
However, if there is a higher state of self conciousness and awareness in surroundings. These people will have the edge compared to those being confused over their decisions and trying to figure what to do.
In this situation, the person with high conciousness will understand more about himself. But not many will understand him.
That's where the tricky part lies.
but i also agree that no man can understand themselves since we don't want to believe we have certain less desirable traits.