Struggling for air, help and space!!!
-
If life is without problems it would be so mundane and not the least challenging, but am I really that unlucky? If everyday we live happily, no sadness no stress, perhaps we will never know how precious being happy is because everything will be like a routine. I've made alot of mistakes in my life, ended up with many regrets as well. I keep making the same mistake over and over again - saying short-lived words and let my mind soon drifts away and how that is so unnerving. I'd know that it is part of my growing stage and it'll definitely moulder me into a stronger person spiritually. The guys whom we used to have an affection for one another in the past three months but due to some circumstances which is not even worth mentioning, ain't even on talking terms now whenever we see each other. It ain't funny, we became the very "familiar" stranger. I accept it because I've choosen this way too. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
In my love life, I've met a few guys who really loved me. I really felt loved by them especially when being loved and cared for by five guys at the same time, the feeling is really unexplanable. But, I don't deserve the heavens. Nevertheless, these happy things happen when we least expect them. But, whatever decision I make some will get hurt. We all have to accept the fact that sometimes beautiful encounters have to come to an end. Although many people still prefer to cling on false hopes and dreams, conciously or subconsciously neglecting the fact that love's gone. It's sad. Really. Well.. I can say that I've already tried my best.
Recently, I have been thinking a lot lately regarding the issue on friends. Honestly speaking, I always don't have an issue when it comes to making the right kind of friends, seems like recently I met quite a number of hypocrites and backstabbers. I wonder if they like to live in their hypocritical worlds, do they even enjoy what they are doing or are they absolutely clueless of what they are doing??? It beats me. I would like to tell them off, but what will I get in return will be another pack of lies and denial, and get backstabbed again.
I feel so isolated as if I've been dragged to an unfamiliar place where no one knows me nor I know anyone and when I'm back in the familiar place I used to be in, I feel so new here. Abhor not being able to control how I feel. I absolutely loathe the feeling of having to make a decision. It is such a pity that I couldn't learn to prioritise and lesson learned, I should just place myself before others. I'm so tired. I just want to sleep for days, and days and days. Luckily, there are still my bestest girlfriends though we are not in the same school. It's them that make me survive and hold on till now. Surrounded by the world but I feel all alone. I shed tears, I feel moody, but no one ever noticed. I may appear to be happy but I am not inside. I shed tears because of her, because of him, because of them.
How do I stop this throbbing pain in my head, the imploding thoughts, the grief wiring up my chest, the purging and one whole mess of suffocation that's caging me? Because I have never been a good judge of character; people lie, they betray and hurt too much; and I'm starting to fear. Sometimes, it doesn't pays to be kind. Thing is you see people giving their hearts all wrapped up prettily, and getting it returned to them shattered into shards of glass that pierce their hands as they attempt to piece their broken heart back together.
There's a part of my life that needs to dissolve, a past that needs to be squared away.
Any kind soul here free for a talk? I am at the brim of self inflictions. The week before suicide is sanguine. No one can ever see it coming...
-
u are loved by 5 men @ the same time???
omg... -
Yes.Originally posted by pierre^^:u are loved by 5 men @ the same time???
omg... -
You must be drop-dead gorgeous!
Am I wrong?
doko -
den nothing to complain abt mah
there r many here who have no one to love -
I guess this is a distillation point, of both the good and the bad.Originally posted by pierre^^:den nothing to complain abt mah
there r many here who have no one to love -
time to decide what you want.
-
I cant decide which is worse. Pretending to not see someone you'd rather not acknowledge, or acknowledging them and being a hypocrite in the process.Originally posted by kopiosatu:time to decide what you want.
With the kind of hysteria I have to deal with at school, I can only wish for the weekend to never end. -
if you're not interested, then say it.Originally posted by sweetevil:I cant decide which is worse. Pretending to not see someone you'd rather not acknowledge, or acknowledging them and being a hypocrite in the process.
With the kind of hysteria I have to deal with at school, I can only wish for the weekend to never end.
if u are, then carry on.
unless both of you don't feel like seeing each other, then its easier.
problem now is that you're holding the other person back. so open your mouth and let them go. -
I understand your situation perfectly. Happened to me before. You don't realise how lucky you are compared to the rest of the world who might have nothing to eat.Originally posted by sweetevil:I cant decide which is worse. Pretending to not see someone you'd rather not acknowledge, or acknowledging them and being a hypocrite in the process.
With the kind of hysteria I have to deal with at school, I can only wish for the weekend to never end.
But I will never allow such people to unsettle me. Always be cool. You should.
doko -
I think you'll need to say no at some point of time.
No matter what, don't let suicidal thoughts cross your mind. I believe there's someone out there who's able to help you. The Mods here are friendly
-
I think you don't understand me. I did mention in my post that "we became the familiar stranger". I did not give them false hopes neither am I interested in them.Originally posted by kopiosatu:if you're not interested, then say it.
if u are, then carry on.
unless both of you don't feel like seeing each other, then its easier.
problem now is that you're holding the other person back. so open your mouth and let them go.
Mmm.. no offence though.. but thanks. -
You do??? Thanks.Originally posted by dokono:I understand your situation perfectly. Happened to me before. You don't realise how lucky you are compared to the rest of the world who might have nothing to eat.
But I will never allow such people to unsettle me. Always be cool. You should.
doko
In fact 3 out of the 5 guys are from the same class. Can you imagine the hysteria I have to put up with everyday??? They were once friends but became "rivals".
Damm.. Do I hate having to go to class...
-
if you really don't want to talk to them when you see them then don't talk to them when u see them.Originally posted by sweetevil:I think you don't understand me. I did mention in my post that "we became the familiar stranger". I did not give them false hopes neither am I interested in them.
Mmm.. no offence though.. but thanks.
are you looking for some sort of closure by thinking whats right or wrong?
life is simple, people make it complicated. -
u gals always like to b together even when going to toilets.Originally posted by sweetevil:I cant decide which is worse. Pretending to not see someone you'd rather not acknowledge, or acknowledging them and being a hypocrite in the process.
With the kind of hysteria I have to deal with at school, I can only wish for the weekend to never end.
i have been in the same situation like u and i live in an isolation world.
so wats the big deal?
solitary is the key -
strange to say
i also got one female fren
we both pretend we dunno each other due to a stupid misunderstanding
tink for 3 mths liao
same class somemore
what to do
Just let it be lor -
hahaha...Originally posted by sweetevil:You do??? Thanks.
In fact 3 out of the 5 guys are from the same class. Can you imagine the hysteria I have to put up with everyday??? They were once friends but became "rivals".
Damm.. Do I hate having to go to class...
I hate to see guys who were once brothers fight over a woman.
Really, is it necessary? But you sound like you are so happy they fought over you. You are on a pedestal. Makes you feel like Queen?
doko -
Mmm.. yes and no. Not exactly queen lah.. haha you're exaggeratingOriginally posted by dokono:hahaha...
I hate to see guys who were once brothers fight over a woman.
Really, is it necessary? But you sound like you are so happy they fought over you. You are on a pedestal. Makes you feel like Queen?
doko
Just felt exceptionally pampered and cared for. I tried to tell them to make peace with one another. But as you all know.. Men have egos and pride, they refused. Mmm... so hard being me lah.
I just wanna sleep for days and days and days. -
Then you don't need those guys.Originally posted by sweetevil:Mmm.. yes and no. Not exactly queen lah.. haha you're exaggerating
Just felt exceptionally pampered and cared for. I tried to tell them to make peace with one another. But as you all know.. Men have egos and pride, they refused. Mmm... so hard being me lah.
I just wanna sleep for days and days and days.
Not mature in thinking.
doko -
yes it's stupid and childish..Originally posted by dokono:hahaha...
I hate to see guys who were once brothers fight over a woman.
Really, is it necessary? But you sound like you are so happy they fought over you. You are on a pedestal. Makes you feel like Queen?
doko -
It's easy to be misunderstood cos they're not you and they can't possbily know the emotions and feelings raging within you. They can only guess
what you're thinking (and they're not even close).
Love comes in many forms: eros, ludus, storge, phileo, agape, mania, pragma.
Do you know which love they have for you and you have for them?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles
Don't fret. It doesn't help. It never helps. Keep a clear mind and calm heart.
It'll help you lead you (and the boys too) out of the mess.
-
why not just let them fight it out and you get the winner lor
-
I think you'll received lots of pm after today.
-
Well, you cannot please everyone in this world. Please do not misunderstand that I am asking you to be utterly selfish and self-centred. I am not. Do what you can. If it helps, good. If it does not, tell yourself that you have done your part and move on.
I am sure that there are more than 6 people in your entire class/cohort. Hangout with the rest or make new friends. Happiness starts from inside you. Be happy and the same world that was all gloomy before, will not be as gloomy anymore.
The world is already trying it's darnest to kill us. Don't start killing yourself with these insignificant things too.
Cheer up. -
+1Originally posted by nOrmalbOi:Well, you cannot please everyone in this world. Please do not misunderstand that I am asking you to be utterly selfish and self-centred. I am not. Do what you can. If it helps, good. If it does not, tell yourself that you have done your part and move on.
I am sure that there are more than 6 people in your entire class/cohort. Hangout with the rest or make new friends. Happiness starts from inside you. Be happy and the same world that was all gloomy before, will not be as gloomy anymore.
The world is already trying it's darnest to kill us. Don't start killing yourself with these insignificant things too.
Cheer up.
its like a police killing a thief, the victims that have suffered at the hands of the thief will be rejoicing over the death of the thieft, but to the family of the thief, they will be sad too.
so just bear in mind, whatever you do, people will sure give negative comments usually.
a much more simpler anology -
poor - a lot of commets,
rich - even more comments.
but isn't it better to be rich, other's comment also no harm.
if you look at it from your relationship, than you just tell them that you are being honest, don't want to have the 4 out of 5 guys whom you rejected to go deeper and deeper.
now you tell them to stop (maintain as friends) it's actually thinking and helping them.
short pain is better than long pain.