Do u people here feel like every morning (mon - fri), u r just repeating ur routine ?
I feel and fear it every morning (waking up, bathing, squeezing into the train, going to work). It feels draggy and to make matter worse, I guess I've totally no interest in the job. This job that I've started about 3 weeks ago is one which caused me so much emotional roller coaster over these weeks.
The position that I'm hanging on right now is Customer Service Officer at a well-established company, a big one I would say. At the initial stage when I applied for this job through an agency, customer service is something which I assume was interesting. But well, my company is one which bills customers on electricity, water and gas comsumption. On a daily basis, we deal with 50% complaining customers either complaining on high consumption of supplies or they do not have enough money to pay for their usage (yet their supplies was still being terminated) and another 50% here to open accounts (tricky and long process) for commercial or residential.
Normally what my schedule at work now is the 1st hour being attached to a mentor where I sit behind to observe how he serves. The rest of the day is classroom training where we are being taught the theory part and getting ourselves familarized with the system and how to go about doing different different stuffs in the system. I know it seems to be a relaxing process, but now especially when the trainer is on leave, I sit behind mentor but the whole day. And even for now when I had yet to serve a customer, I was totally put off by how quite a few complaining customers can complain about so many things.
I've been bugged by the fear of serving complaining customers and those who ask lots of questions. After sitting in, I feel that I've no confidence in explaining myself as clearly as my mentor or other staffs there. I can't think of the steps to access something in the system and then on the same time, answering customer's queries or try to be tactful in a way to calm complaining customers down. My heart pumps very fast when I try to visualize behind how to answer them. It feels so terrible that my tears are always let loose. I feel so uncertain about this job and this is definitely not something that I want to be doing.
For 4 nights in a row, I woke up 4 or 5 times in the middle of the night because I feared seeing the clock turning 6.30 and having to drag myself to work. Even on weekends, I'm so worried that the day will pass by so fast that without me knowing, its gonna be a monday soon. I don't have the slightest clue why my brain is a totally blank nowadays, I'm so affected that I can't seem to think of what to say, how to communicate and saying things clearly. What is happening to me ? Usually, I'm not like this.
And this is my first permanent job. For the past few years, what I did was studying and then working part time during the holidays. And it was during this time, when I enjoy my work to the fullest. Colleagues are a fun bunch to be with and work is manageable that time. I'm only 20 this year, is this kind of thing normal ?
