Regaining a broken friendship
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My O' Levels has ended. I used to have this strong friendship with a female classmates of mine since sec 1. We can be considered best friends. Almost all the great and sad moments, we've been spending it together. So I guess the term 'Best Friends' really suits us well. But during the Aug period, I had a major quarrel with her which led to the both of us ignoring each other afterwards. I tried to repair the friendship creaks then. But to avail. Maybe tension was too high to be mend then. Since O' Levels was apporoaching then, I decided to put the matter aside. Now O' Levels is over, it's time I should really gain back the strong friendship I once had with her. I really missed the times with her. Not to say I have an infatuation on her la, but rather I feel really wasted that such a friendship didn't last. I hope to regain the friendship and we can be back as normal before it comes too late when I can't see her again for the rest of ours lives as I'm going JC and she's going Laselle.
What should I do? -
I don't know what led to the big argument and who is in the wrong.
But the question is - does it really matter now who is in the wrong? Or your intention to regain this friendship takes precedence over other trivialities like pride and ego?
Send her an sms and apologise. For your attitude, your tone in speaking, your shouting whatever. Then ask for forgiveness.
She'll forgive you I'm sure.
Sending you some hope and energy too. Hugs!
cheers -
what is Laselle??
what happened when u all quarrel?? did anyone apologise? maybe u shld apologise and try explain to her. ask her to forgive and forget -
Damage has been done.
Haiz.
Even if now the 2 of u go back to being best friends,things will never be the same again. -
laselle - arts schoolOriginally posted by ReinaTanaka:what is Laselle??
what happened when u all quarrel?? did anyone apologise? maybe u shld apologise and try explain to her. ask her to forgive and forget -
Ya.. That's what she told me when I apologised to her back then after we've quarreled.Originally posted by Patrik:Damage has been done.
Haiz.
Even if now the 2 of u go back to being best friends,things will never be the same again.
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Tried apologising already. But don't seemed to work. As said, the tension was rather high then. I give in a lot already by apologising, ignoring my ego and stuff, but still not forgiven then.Originally posted by ReinaTanaka:what is Laselle??
what happened when u all quarrel?? did anyone apologise? maybe u shld apologise and try explain to her. ask her to forgive and forget
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So do u now realise how fragile friendship is nowadays?
I also had a very close female friend before.
I sort of took her for granted.
Haiz
No matter what i do now,things will never go back to being the same in the past.
We werent as close as before le.
Haiz -
Ya. Exactly the same for me. I took her for granted too. Sighh.. I really miss her company.Originally posted by Patrik:So do u now realise how fragile friendship is nowadays?
I also had a very close female friend before.
I sort of took her for granted.
Haiz
No matter what i do now,things will never go back to being the same in the past.
We werent as close as before le.
Haiz -
The only thing u can do now is to win back her friendship and trust.Though it may not be the same as before,work on it.
Slowly,appreciate her.let her know that u are grateful of her presence.
Show ur sincerity.
Good luck.
(Why do we only start to treasure someone only after we have lost them?) -
The worst thing is that after we've collected our O' Level results next Feb, most likely, I'm not going to meet her for the rest of my life already. Damn sad sia. She's really important to me throughout my life in secondary school in education. Changed me.
Really shows how fragile friendship is. -
Try talking to your friend and resolving matters. It could possibly revert back to what you had before. I used the term "possibly" because there is also a chance things wont be the same. Most likely during that period, you guys would have drifted apart, the unresolved argument would have made it awkward for you both to talk again.
You could be friends again, but because of the major quarrel you had, it probably has changed your perceptions of each other.
I think Im rather lucky though. All of my friends regardless of whatever problem or issue that arises, even after a huge argument, my friendships with them has never changed. If it ever had, our friendship probably grew stronger. I don't know its weird. We can just argue oneday, apologise then be normal again the next second. Its important to resolve the issue as soon as you argue with them. The longer you leave it, the more stale it gets. Then everybody forgets what its like to have the other person around and it gets awkward. Yep =D all the best.! -
x2.Originally posted by Patrik:Damage has been done.
Haiz.
Even if now the 2 of u go back to being best friends,things will never be the same again.
I have a buddy of 14 years too.
but after countless arguments, i have given up liao.
My heart is too tired and scarred to go on. -
I had countless disputes with her but it often won't last more than a day. However, that quarrel was a bad one, thus our friendship is still broken till now.
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Hmm, maybe send her a letter/email to explain about how sorry you are about the whole thing? If she still values the friendship she will reply or call you back to hear your further explanation...
If she is not and is unwilling to forgive, I guess this is a frenship that you have to learn to let go...
friends come and go in life. I used to be close with a lot of people during various stages of my life, but most of them are no longer in contact with me now. Altho most of them are in my MSN, but we no longer even message each other
And sumtimes I tried to start by messaging them first, but then just got ignored -
Sighh.. She's still the one who's most important during my secondary school life. =(
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Why cry over milk ? For instance, Friendships usually lasts when there are common interests etc or common goals , now that you are no longer useful , a quarrel have no resolve, reason to be patched.
Try to think about what exactly do you want ? What are you thinking about? Most friendships don't last unless you made it to a common hobby or interest. -
Siigh...exactly been through what you said.
had a really really good friend since sec 1 and then just before the O's we quarrelled.
But the thing is i managed to patch back with her. Reason? i think you gotta meet up with her. try to relive the old times yall had. the fun that you 2 shared.Talking is very important i doubt smsing would solve the problem. Dont feel down by listening to all the sob songs. Try to upbeat!
Good lucks man! -
We find each other a very good companion.Originally posted by NotFromVenus:Why cry over milk ? For instance, Friendships usually lasts when there are common interests etc or common goals , now that you are no longer useful , a quarrel have no resolve, reason to be patched.
Try to think about what exactly do you want ? What are you thinking about? Most friendships don't last unless you made it to a common hobby or interest. -
Well. She isnt replying to my messages when I started talking about the past. Tried asking her out. No avail. So I just sent her a last msg ( 5 messages long ) to tell her how I feel all along about this friendship and how much I missed her. Hope she's touched by it bah..Originally posted by WhamBamTyMam:Siigh...exactly been through what you said.
had a really really good friend since sec 1 and then just before the O's we quarrelled.
But the thing is i managed to patch back with her. Reason? i think you gotta meet up with her. try to relive the old times yall had. the fun that you 2 shared.Talking is very important i doubt smsing would solve the problem. Dont feel down by listening to all the sob songs. Try to upbeat!
Good lucks man! -
Looks like she could be really very angry and pissed this time round.Originally posted by coldzero:Well. She isnt replying to my messages when I started talking about the past. Tried asking her out. No avail. So I just sent her a last msg ( 5 messages long ) to tell her how I feel all along about this friendship and how much I missed her. Hope she's touched by it bah..
Like what you say you have taken her for granted, so I guess this time she's not going to let herself be so easily taken anymore.
Hmm, if you really want to regain back this friendship, then you may need to be really patient and use your sincerity to move her. Send her an sms or email everyday to express your sincerity. She will probably forgive you and give this friendship another shot?
Hang on there coldzero. It takes time to heal a wound, so give your friend some time too.
All the best! Good Luck! -
Aiyo... you did your best by apologising. Now it's up to her to accept it. If she's still petty over the incident, there's really nothing much to help.
I once had a major argument (which almost led to a fight) with a buddy. We didn't talk for one year but we shook hands at xmas after one year and still were good buddies again. Just give it some time... what will happen, will happen. -
What ya quarrelled over?Originally posted by coldzero:My O' Levels has ended. I used to have this strong friendship with a female classmates of mine since sec 1. We can be considered best friends. Almost all the great and sad moments, we've been spending it together. So I guess the term 'Best Friends' really suits us well. But during the Aug period, I had a major quarrel with her which led to the both of us ignoring each other afterwards. I tried to repair the friendship creaks then. But to avail. Maybe tension was too high to be mend then. Since O' Levels was apporoaching then, I decided to put the matter aside. Now O' Levels is over, it's time I should really gain back the strong friendship I once had with her. I really missed the times with her. Not to say I have an infatuation on her la, but rather I feel really wasted that such a friendship didn't last. I hope to regain the friendship and we can be back as normal before it comes too late when I can't see her again for the rest of ours lives as I'm going JC and she's going Laselle.
What should I do? -
I happen to be caught in this type of situation once.
It really doesnt matter who started the argument. If you really want to salvage the friendship. Msg her, apologise. And start the small talks that you used to have. Acknowledge your mistake.
She will definitely come back to you. -
Give her time.
If she values this friendship,she will come back.
If not,just take it as a lesson learnt.