I'm feeling Lost
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I have kept this unspoken for about 1 year. Only recently then my close buddy knew about this.
First noticed her about 3 years back. She's 2 years younger than me and studying in the same school. I've graduated while she's waiting for the release of her results. We never did talk to each other while in the same school last time. Its only that when i graduated, approached her with the help of my friend, then i got her number during a school fun fair. I was extremely shy on that day and so was she.
That night, smsed her for the first time and did the basic introduction. Then my messages would became infrequent to like once a month cause i would not want her to think that I'm a nuisance. Her sms replies would also take very long, ranging from 20mins to about 1 & 1/2 days, sometimes no replies at all. Similarly on msn, she would frequent it like less than 5 times a month. So its quite difficult to get to know her better.
I've never forgotten her birthday for the past 2 years and never failed to send her birthday greetings.
Trying to get her out is also a problem. She never reply any sms of mine that tried to ask her out. A few days ago, she finally replied when i asked her out on msn next week. Her reply was that she do not know if she's free next week. But at least she replied and that really brought so much excitement to me. Till now there's still no reply from her although I've sent another sms yesterday.
From what i know from friends, she's a very shy, gentle and very soft spoken. So i do not know whether i should continue letting her know me better or is she trying to tell me she's not interested.
Thanks to all who visited and reply to this thread. -
wah. so long and u haven't taken action?
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How old r u 2???
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take action...in christmas..greeting n say out..speak out ur mind dude,!!!!!!!!
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smsing and msning is not a good way of communication.
if u want the other party to feel ur sincerity, at least talk over the phone. -
1st of allOriginally posted by Perception:I have kept this unspoken for about 1 year. Only recently then my close buddy knew about this.
First noticed her about 3 years back. She's 2 years younger than me and studying in the same school. I've graduated while she's waiting for the release of her results. We never did talk to each other while in the same school last time. Its only that when i graduated, approached her with the help of my friend, then i got her number during a school fun fair. I was extremely shy on that day and so was she.
That night, smsed her for the first time and did the basic introduction. Then my messages would became infrequent to like once a month cause i would not want her to think that I'm a nuisance. Her sms replies would also take very long, ranging from 20mins to about 1 & 1/2 days, sometimes no replies at all. Similarly on msn, she would frequent it like less than 5 times a month. So its quite difficult to get to know her better.
I've never forgotten her birthday for the past 2 years and never failed to send her birthday greetings.
Trying to get her out is also a problem. She never reply any sms of mine that tried to ask her out. A few days ago, she finally replied when i asked her out on msn next week. Her reply was that she do not know if she's free next week. But at least she replied and that really brought so much excitement to me. Till now there's still no reply from her although I've sent another sms yesterday.
From what i know from friends, she's a very shy, gentle and very soft spoken. So i do not know whether i should continue letting her know me better or is she trying to tell me she's not interested.
Thanks to all who visited and reply to this thread.
1- you are expecting too much from her
2- she also shy like you, how much progress do you expect?
3- you suddenly pop sms, it's right for people not to reply!
4- a proper self introduction will only be possible when you intro yourself face to face unless you try it online/while playing games or JUST CALL HER!!
if you want to know her better, change yourself.
you shy + her shy = both shy (no actions)
simple equation. -
I know perhaps i should let her know me better first. The problem with me is that i just do not have the guts to call a girl out of a sudden and just chat with her. My mind will literally turn blank and the conversation will perhaps end up in a deadlock. I've been trying to have a group outing where friends we both know comes out together just to make her feel more comfortable.Originally posted by the_fallen:1st of all
1- you are expecting too much from her
2- she also shy like you, how much progress do you expect?
3- you suddenly pop sms, it's right for people not to reply!
4- a proper self introduction will only be possible when you intro yourself face to face unless you try it online/while playing games or JUST CALL HER!!
if you want to know her better, change yourself.
you shy + her shy = both shy (no actions)
simple equation.
I've never been in any relationship before and my more reserved way of getting a girl is probably due to being turned down before once a couple of years back.
2 of my friends said that she, not replying sms asking her to go out is probably a way of her trying to tell me that she's not interested in me. I'm thinking of confessing to her on the last day of the year but this might not be a wise thing to do as it might result in a catastrophic ending of her ignoring me for the rest of my life. -
Not a good idea if u telling her your feeling if you've not even go out with her. Unless of course you know she got at least a slight interest in you. Try to get to know her more first like wad other forumite had says.Originally posted by Perception:I know perhaps i should let her know me better first. The problem with me is that i just do not have the guts to call a girl out of a sudden and just chat with her. My mind will literally turn blank and the conversation will perhaps end up in a deadlock. I've been trying to have a group outing where friends we both know comes out together just to make her feel more comfortable.
I've never been in any relationship before and my more reserved way of getting a girl is probably due to being turned down before once a couple of years back.
2 of my friends said that she, not replying sms asking her to go out is probably a way of her trying to tell me that she's not interested in me. I'm thinking of confessing to her on the last day of the year but this might not be a wise thing to do as it might result in a catastrophic ending of her ignoring me for the rest of my life. -
Have you ever wondered how you were born?Originally posted by Perception:I know perhaps i should let her know me better first. The problem with me is that i just do not have the guts to call a girl out of a sudden and just chat with her. My mind will literally turn blank and the conversation will perhaps end up in a deadlock. I've been trying to have a group outing where friends we both know comes out together just to make her feel more comfortable.
I've never been in any relationship before and my more reserved way of getting a girl is probably due to being turned down before once a couple of years back.
2 of my friends said that she, not replying sms asking her to go out is probably a way of her trying to tell me that she's not interested in me. I'm thinking of confessing to her on the last day of the year but this might not be a wise thing to do as it might result in a catastrophic ending of her ignoring me for the rest of my life.
I mean how did your dad know your mum?
You get what Im saying?
doko -
Originally posted by Perception:
Man, i would suggest that its better not to do that. You had barely known her, and your understanding of her is basically next to zilch. Telling her that is the same as kissing your chances of knowing her better next time goodbye. Don't be impatient. Its too early to tell if she's interested in u or not. The late or no sms'es replies, I had learnt from experience, is NOT a good way to indicate if she's interested in u or not. Look at where u and her are now in this stage of friendship.
I know perhaps i should let her know me better first. The problem with me is that i just do not have the guts to call a girl out of a sudden and just chat with her. My mind will literally turn blank and the conversation will perhaps end up in a deadlock. I've been trying to have a group outing where friends we both know comes out together just to make her feel more comfortable.
I've never been in any relationship before and my more reserved way of getting a girl is probably due to being turned down before once a couple of years back.
2 of my friends said that she, not replying sms asking her to go out is probably a way of her trying to tell me that she's not interested in me. I'm thinking of confessing to her on the last day of the year but this might not be a wise thing to do as it might result in a catastrophic ending of her ignoring me for the rest of my life. [/b]
Look, she is probably afraid, because she doesn't know you well, and here you are, smsing her, and trying to confess to her. You wanting to get a group outing is good, because in a group, she will feel less inhabited, and that will be a good chance to ask her out alone the next time, after she knows u better during the group outing. Pls try to talk to her, and know her a little more, during the group outing.
And, be more confident of urself. Gals, unfortuntately, tend to like guys who can express themselves well, and are confident of themselves. Being shy and not letting the other person know u well won't win u her heart. Jia You!! U can do it! -
1- guts; as a man, if you want to get something, you find your own ways to it.Originally posted by Perception:I know perhaps i should let her know me better first. The problem with me is that i just do not have the guts to call a girl out of a sudden and just chat with her. My mind will literally turn blank and the conversation will perhaps end up in a deadlock. I've been trying to have a group outing where friends we both know comes out together just to make her feel more comfortable.
I've never been in any relationship before and my more reserved way of getting a girl is probably due to being turned down before once a couple of years back.
2 of my friends said that she, not replying sms asking her to go out is probably a way of her trying to tell me that she's not interested in me. I'm thinking of confessing to her on the last day of the year but this might not be a wise thing to do as it might result in a catastrophic ending of her ignoring me for the rest of my life.
there's no result just by doing nothing.
2- mind going blank is a normal case for rookies; what you need to do is to mix with more extrovert people or be in an environment which allows you to open up more - improve yourself first, the rest can come later.
3- group outing - you are too kan chiong already la..both of you don't even know each other even a little bit. go group outing also the same. both shy type during outing, will just keep their mouths 'zip' no point.
being rejected by gals before is because you still have no proper knowledge yet. what you need to do is to find more finds of getting to know a person as a whole. when coming to know a person. you can start from knowing her friends too as well than slowly make some progess from there. bgr stuff is a slow process. you need to be PATIENT!!
4- Two of your friends said - how experienced are them in terms of BGR? if they are on the same level as you, than don't bother to listen to their advice.
if they are also guys, have similar taste of ladies like you, than probably they want to leave the chance to themselves.
so again, you need to judge for yourself.
if your friends are playboys- than don't even bother to listen to them.
5- confessing to her is a very foolish way to kill yourself in bgr.
it's like a stranger (hi-bye person) suddenly saying "Hey, I want to propose to you: Will you Marry ME?") you know what?
the next thing/reaction that the gal will do is being shocked - left speechless, or look at you, say you mad than walk off.
get to know her, her friends better first..
be friends with her friends first better than slowly know her..
so that her friends will also help you in future should they see you in problem.
hope my advice helps.
if you want to change yourself- maybe just work more, expose yourself to the society, and you will slowly change for the better.
btw- how old are you? -
I'm 19 next year. Got about 1 year before entering NS. ThenOriginally posted by the_fallen:1- guts; as a man, if you want to get something, you find your own ways to it.
there's no result just by doing nothing.
2- mind going blank is a normal case for rookies; what you need to do is to mix with more extrovert people or be in an environment which allows you to open up more - improve yourself first, the rest can come later.
3- group outing - you are too kan chiong already la..both of you don't even know each other even a little bit. go group outing also the same. both shy type during outing, will just keep their mouths 'zip' no point.
being rejected by gals before is because you still have no proper knowledge yet. what you need to do is to find more finds of getting to know a person as a whole. when coming to know a person. you can start from knowing her friends too as well than slowly make some progess from there. bgr stuff is a slow process. you need to be PATIENT!!
4- Two of your friends said - how experienced are them in terms of BGR? if they are on the same level as you, than don't bother to listen to their advice.
if they are also guys, have similar taste of ladies like you, than probably they want to leave the chance to themselves.
so again, you need to judge for yourself.
if your friends are playboys- than don't even bother to listen to them.
5- confessing to her is a very foolish way to kill yourself in bgr.
it's like a stranger (hi-bye person) suddenly saying "Hey, I want to propose to you: Will you Marry ME?") you know what?
the next thing/reaction that the gal will do is being shocked - left speechless, or look at you, say you mad than walk off.
get to know her, her friends better first..
be friends with her friends first better than slowly know her..
so that her friends will also help you in future should they see you in problem.
hope my advice helps.
if you want to change yourself- maybe just work more, expose yourself to the society, and you will slowly change for the better.
btw- how old are you?
I'm trying to get to know her as a friend but its because there's really very little chance of us coming into contact with each other. I think you guys are right about the confession part. Luckily I have not done it.
So what should I do for my next step? Getting to know her better but I do not know any of her close friends. My ex-classmates were in the same CCA as her last time.
CHeers -
so if i didn't speculate wrongly, you shld be in poly final year now correcT?Originally posted by Perception:I'm 19 next year. Got about 1 year before entering NS. Then
I'm trying to get to know her as a friend but its because there's really very little chance of us coming into contact with each other. I think you guys are right about the confession part. Luckily I have not done it.
So what should I do for my next step? Getting to know her better but I do not know any of her close friends. My ex-classmates were in the same CCA as her last time.
CHeers
when you enlisting?
in poly, there's a lot of chances to get to know each other. all you need to do is to know how to create the chance.
if there's little chance of contact between you and her. than you know what?
you have to create the contact yourself.
creating of coincidence - planning.
this is what i learnt from my work place. lol. at my work place, i learnt and picked up quite a few tricks on getting to know a person better. of course there are even more stuffs which i've learnt from there
if you want to become a bit slightly more towards extrovert, than maybe you should find a part-time work and do. socialise more than you will talk more already. you now having holidays or still schooling?
if you don't know any of her close friends, than just start from knowing of her friends lor..
your ex-classmates same CCA with her last time?
specify the last time? how long ago was that last time which you mention? -
Nope, my poly 2nd year coming to an end. She's waiting for her O levels results now. Currently do not know whether she will be entering poly cause she seems more interested to enter JC. Although in the same secondary school last time, chances of us meeting is very little.Originally posted by the_fallen:so if i didn't speculate wrongly, you shld be in poly final year now correcT?
when you enlisting?
in poly, there's a lot of chances to get to know each other. all you need to do is to know how to create the chance.
if there's little chance of contact between you and her. than you know what?
you have to create the contact yourself.
creating of coincidence - planning.
this is what i learnt from my work place. lol. at my work place, i learnt and picked up quite a few tricks on getting to know a person better. of course there are even more stuffs which i've learnt from there
if you want to become a bit slightly more towards extrovert, than maybe you should find a part-time work and do. socialise more than you will talk more already. you now having holidays or still schooling?
if you don't know any of her close friends, than just start from knowing of her friends lor..
your ex-classmates same CCA with her last time? specify the last time? how long ago was that last time which you mention? -
well lucky you i'm in a similar state but just that i didnt have her phone number.i've hogging the com waiting for her to come online but she rarely does and when we speaks its like 5-10 mins.sigh...now you can comfort yourself cause
you know someone is worst than you
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haiz... the things people do when their in love...Originally posted by shutterpod:well lucky you i'm in a similar state but just that i didnt have her phone number.i've hogging the com waiting for her to come online but she rarely does and when we speaks its like 5-10 mins.sigh...now you can comfort yourself cause
you know someone is worst than you
foolish... but sweet
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hey bro, looks like you aren't even interested in wanting to meet her.Originally posted by Perception:Nope, my poly 2nd year coming to an end. She's waiting for her O levels results now. Currently do not know whether she will be entering poly cause she seems more interested to enter JC. Although in the same secondary school last time, chances of us meeting is very little.
you didn't even read clearly.
let me highlight it for you again. refer to the quote which i said earlier.
now look at the important fact that you need to know and pick up(learn)
if you want to know her, than you have to change yourself for the better.in poly, there's a lot of chances to get to know each other. all you need to do is to know how to create the chance.
if there's little chance of contact between you and her. than you know what?
you have to create the contact yourself.
creating of coincidence - planning.
if you want to upgarade and change yourself, than let me know. i see how i can help you change yourself just like how i changed myself to who i am today.