i got this friend...
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im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why?? -
You both need to build on trust in your relationship or else expect to break up.
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the thing is, mayb i've watched too many drama series..the girl trusted the guy..yet the guy still fell in love with another gal..and the gf din noe till she caught him with that gal..=X
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so you rather put your bf through all the pain and sufferings (which you yourself had been through it and experienced beforehand) than to give up this friend of yours.
its just a matter of priorities man.
let your bf feel like crap OR less contact with the guy
your call, mate.
sidenote: the fact that your bf was able to sever any r/s with that girl, is very solid proof of how much you means to him. so you have zero reason to feel insecure any more in the future, and if you do, just think back on this.. -
Originally posted by jeramy:
x2...
so you rather put your bf through all the pain and sufferings (which you yourself had been through it and experienced beforehand) than to give up this friend of yours.
its just a matter of priorities man.
let your bf feel like crap [b]OR less contact with the guy
your call, mate.
sidenote: the fact that your bf was able to sever any r/s with that girl, is very solid proof of how much you means to him. so you have zero reason to feel insecure any more in the future, and if you do, just think back on this..[/b] -
Originally posted by mir4cle:
u mentioned he was introduced by your bf..so he's ur bf fren? if dats the case, his character abit...as the saying goes "peng you qi bu ke qi"...
im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. [b]He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why??[/b]
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This guy got something wrong.Originally posted by mir4cle:im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why??
if he is your friend and cares for you and likes you, should just keep it to himself. -
Where's his confidence in you?
Where's his confidence in himself?
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OH com'on! the guy, knowing that she has a bf, and he is the bf's friend, tells her that! where is his integrity?Originally posted by Nelstar:Where's his confidence in you?
Where's his confidence in himself? -
Originally posted by mir4cle:im a girl and i got this good guy friend who is quite close to me. He was introduced by my boyfriend actually...all of us always hang out together with two other people..den one day, the guy friend actually told me that he liked me but he knew he couldn't cos he didn't want to be the third party. (i've got no interest in him anyway) but actually our friendship didn't just stop like this for i knew it was only infatuation. He's still my good friend. however, my boyfriend didn't like it...so everytime i talked to my good friend, i have to restrict myself.
i know how my boyfriend feels...cos got a period of time got this gal liked him too..he told me he only treated her as his meimei...but still, you know how girls would feel when their boyfriends get too close to a girl, whether it's meimei or wadever..(cos now this kinda meimei and korkor thing is not so simple le lor) the thing is, he's willing to give up the friendship between him and the girl for me...and he really did! i feel kinda bad...cos i know i cant give this friend up...nor do i want to lose my boyfriend..
or maybe, i dont have to do anything at all...?
although we know we won't leave each other, we jus feel a sense of insecurity in our hearts..=X why why why??
Suspicion drills into trust like how the mice would nibble at the rope to have it inflict enough damage for it to snap.
Your relationship has already programmed a model on how to 'handle' such crisis - which is namely to drop contacts and eliminate possible complication altogether. This model does not take into consideration that some friendships are not easily given up, despite having the same set of scenario. From here, it wouldn't be a surprise if your boyfriend feels threatened by your passive attitude in dealing with the situation as he had swiftly eased your insecurity with a quick decision, but somehow you hesitated when the same scenario applies to you.
Albeit your friendship with the guy might be 'pure', your lack of action suggested otherwise. In fact, it actually implied that you might have some unconscious liking for him, because of how this solution model was created in the first place and you didn't 'follow the standard procedure'.
You don't have to get him out of your life completely - just that you would do well to remove 'unnecessary contacts' with him? I reckon that since you guys are part of a bigger group, I don't think you could run away from seeing him altogether unless there is a spilt up somehow. Obviously, it would have an impact on your friendship with him, but from some angle, that would be the lesser evil?
Think about it.
Cheers -
Integrity?Originally posted by blu_sky:OH com'on! the guy, knowing that she has a bf, and he is the bf's friend, tells her that! where is his integrity?
If someone has a job and you have a job and there's an open position, would you give up because that fella worked a year more than you in the same company?
You don't have integrity when you know the girl is attached but you start spreading rumours so that you can win her favour. -
gee..after reading wad u guys have posted, i feel kinda bad..=X
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you are comparing job and relationship? you are hilarious!Originally posted by Nelstar:Integrity?
If someone has a job and you have a job and there's an open position, would you give up because that fella worked a year more than you in the same company?
You don't have integrity when you know the girl is attached but you start spreading rumours so that you can win her favour.
do you tell your company, or your boss, till death do us part?
You are funny kid! -
Get Married!
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You're saying that all relationships are permanent?Originally posted by blu_sky:you are comparing job and relationship? you are hilarious!
do you tell your company, or your boss, till death do us part?
You are funny kid!
Are you that naive? -
All is fair and square.
What makes you think once the girl is your girlfriend, all the people in the world must give up? What makes you think it's fair for the girl to only have one choice after selecting you?
If the girl rejects, it's different.
But if the girl accept the competition, too bad lor, you're suay lor. No integrity involved lor.
Don't be a stoneage naive kid. -
And you think the drama series should determine the outcome of your relationship with your bf?Originally posted by mir4cle:the thing is, mayb i've watched too many drama series..the girl trusted the guy..yet the guy still fell in love with another gal..and the gf din noe till she caught him with that gal..=X -
no.. but when you watch too many of these drama series, you tend to get 'brainwashed' ya?
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haha...Originally posted by mir4cle:no.. but when you watch too many of these drama series, you tend to get 'brainwashed' ya?
then why are you still watching those dramas?
Are you in touch with reality?
doko -
watch for fun...
yah.spent too much time in e virtual world le..=( -
If you believe that your relationship can be permanent, with due efforts and other elements, it might be permanent.Originally posted by Nelstar:You're saying that all relationships are permanent?
Are you that naive?
If you do not believe your relationship can be permanent, there is NO (ZERO) CHANCE of it being permanent. -
i agree with this.Originally posted by fymk:You both need to build on trust in your relationship or else expect to break up.
but seriously i am suspecting something..
if that "good fren" of yours don wanna b a third party, in the first place he won't even tell u that he likes u and don wanna b a third party.
erm u understand wat i am talking? -
So you know...?Originally posted by mir4cle:no.. but when you watch too many of these drama series, you tend to get 'brainwashed' ya? -
Originally posted by blu_sky:you are comparing job and relationship? you are hilarious!
do you tell your company, or your boss, till death do us part?
You are funny kid!
-_-"Originally posted by Nelstar:You're saying that all relationships are permanent?
Are you that naive? -
well, he din realli tell me. he wrote on his private blog...and onli i have access to it..=| cos mi bf and him quite good frenz..but my bf always like to suan him..so he don like to tell my bf things de..so always come to me lor..Originally posted by FBI:i agree with this.
but seriously i am suspecting something..
if that "good fren" of yours don wanna b a third party, in the first place he won't even tell u that he likes u and don wanna b a third party.
erm u understand wat i am talking?