This won't reach you.. *rant*
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... but it'll make me feel better. I need to let it out, the words struggling in me deep down.
Here goes..
It doesnÂ’t matter the things IÂ’ve done, or the things IÂ’ve chosen not to do.. because whatever IÂ’ve done, I musta done something right to end up with you..
Im sorry for the times you felt neglected. But why didnÂ’t you tell me so? WeÂ’d always said to talk things out, to open up more, to communicate, to understand. How come we never get them done?
How did we ever end up like this? I really wonder how you are now.
I regret not telling you how I feel deep down always, that now, it is so hard to even try to open my mouth and speak to you. Friends say I should stop hiding myself in one corner, I NEED to VOICE OUT. I need to make myself more significant. But I donÂ’t know how.
For the moments we had together, I daresay I truly cherished every bit, deep down. I know I may not say it nor even show it out... well, doesnÂ’t matter as long as I know.. it was a path we took together I felt worthwhile.
My actions and words have made you numb, I wasnÂ’t feeling exactly fine too.
Tears welled up. Guilt-ridden. Mutual Feelings. Pain. The lonely times. Sorry.
YouÂ’ve asked for a time-out. Alright. For the past few days, IÂ’d been thinking a lot. IÂ’m scared, IÂ’m afraid. This feeling is almost so familiar. The kind of restlessness and fear.
You have no idea how much I missed you. As much as I wanted to spend the past few days with you, IÂ’m sorry I donÂ’t have the courage to even ask. What should I say when I see you? How should I behave? Normal? Pissed? Like strangers?
So many doubts on my mind. I never know the right way to handle them. I always run. I always pretend that everythingÂ’s alright. IÂ’ve always thought that by keeping quiet and just close my eyes, itÂ’ll all go away, and things will be better the next time round. ButÂ… IÂ’m wrong.
Weakling. Yes, I am.
Now, keep me anticipating. Set me thinking. Till the time-outÂ’s timeÂ’s up. Till we do THE TALK. Till we can try together againÂ…
ElseÂ…I just hopeÂ… I will grow from this...
Thanks for letting me 'rant' out, guys.
And... I know, zillions & millions of people have said this many many times before, you won't find it true YET. It may just be another sentence going in from your left ear, and out your right. BUT, until you get to realise the true meaning of the quote, it may be too late already.
That is, CHERISH YOUR LOVED ONES BEFORE THEY'RE GONE.
sigh........ -
Don't lose hope.
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Life has too many unfortunate, unwanted and undesirable events & situations we could do without. In the end, we have to face 'em. Be optimistic. Life goes on.
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lols remind me of something else
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hey, your'e not alone.. me too suffered the same... so is alot of ppl..?
everything also dont want to say, dont want to open up, and when they leave, they say everything out.. just too late..
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love can make a person damn high but also make a person damn low in e end..better off without
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Originally posted by universe:
Then you can stop loving your family, your friends, the things you "loved" to do, your collectors items and such, since you prefer its better off without it.
[b]love can make a person damn high but also make a person damn low in e end..better off without[/b] -
What does it reminds you of?Originally posted by Komon:lols remind me of something else -
Yes.. I agree. Anyway I'm feeling alot better now. Well, at least we learn from this.. yeah? Hope not to repeat such dumb behaviours anymore in the future...Originally posted by bigdeal:hey, your'e not alone.. me too suffered the same... so is alot of ppl..?
everything also dont want to say, dont want to open up, and when they leave, they say everything out.. just too late.. -
Hmm.
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Hmm..
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'sniffs... How true. Hmmm
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I'm feeling the same rite now although not in the same situation as you..
Why dun I voice out? For fear I looked like a fool?
Sometimes I ask myself, who I am to demand such & such?
Words of promise (if any) may long be forgotten? Said only for that moment?
Bringing them up will sound kinda naive?
Is it more of the case of not wanting to be hurt rather than ego?
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Been through what u have been before, till now even have some effect on me... hmmx.. it good that you let it out, hopefully will make you feel better.
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Originally posted by Magnus:
True.. very true.
I'm feeling the same rite now although not in the same situation as you..
Why dun I voice out? For fear I looked like a fool?
Sometimes I ask myself, who I am to demand such & such?
Words of promise (if any) may long be forgotten? Said only for that moment?
Bringing them up will sound kinda naive?
Is it more of the case of not wanting to be hurt rather than ego?
[/b]
It sucks, doesnt it? Everything seems too late now.
Very very often, I think keeping quiet is the best. If I were to say anything, I find myself thinking so much about the consequences, how will it affect anything then, all that "what if I said ___ and then you ____ and then ____" and it goes on and on. So in the end, I always shut up. I rather keep everything in me. Seems like the only right choice to me. sigh.. -
Hope as time goes by, you won't feel as affected. And in the future I won't be affected too. LOL. Yeah.. It's good that I let it out, but it's here, and he doesn't surf sgforums. Well, he still doesn't know how I feel truly. How I wish he can read this.. but anyway even if he does, I doubt it'll make a difference. sighOriginally posted by zheshi:Been through what u have been before, till now even have some effect on me... hmmx.. it good that you let it out, hopefully will make you feel better.
I feel like giving up already. I have this feeling in me, I can't stop blaming myself. I think.. he gave up too already. sigh... -
Have a little faith... What will be, will be =) Take it on with a little smile even during times you find it hard to, because I'm sure that no matter what, there will be a reason for you to smile. It's only a matter of being able to find that reason...
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Yeah I know what you mean. Thanks.Originally posted by aRcTiC_sTaR:Have a little faith... What will be, will be =) Take it on with a little smile even during times you find it hard to, because I'm sure that no matter what, there will be a reason for you to smile. It's only a matter of being able to find that reason...
I'm trying hard not to be so negative, and looking at the bright sides (if there are any). But it's hard, knowing that I'm the one causing all these to happen. All cause of my dumb actions.. and mainly because, I never did voice out.
Oh well, no point regretting and harbouring so many useless thoughts now. Can only wait... and wait, till he feels that the time is right to talk. Hope he's doing fine now lor.
=) -
Okay, I was wrong. I interpreted his words wrongly. We were oooooooover days ago. Now I feel so dumb. But oh well, I was actually looking forward to THE TALK.. but, it never comes, and now, it never will.
I didn't cry. Somehow, I'm glad I was prepared. Like, I didn't really hope much. But I'm sad leh. Still have no f*cking idea how did we ever become like this. And the thing is... I still didn't manage to tell him the things I've always wanted to say.
Is it good? Or bad? Can't be bothered anymore. Well, I wish him all the best, and, sorry for being such a bad gf, hope he'll find a better one. And, pls, make your gf feel loved, like how a gf should feel. Not like a friend.
Never. -
Juz goes to show that TALKing does not work on Girls.
Going straight to the point works. -
hhaha! what i mean a bgr love lahz..Originally posted by Bontakun:Then you can stop loving your family, your friends, the things you "loved" to do, your collectors items and such, since you prefer its better off without it.
mm..i still love my family, i still love my books and other stuffs etc..
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well said!Originally posted by aRcTiC_sTaR:Have a little faith... What will be, will be =) Take it on with a little smile even during times you find it hard to, because I'm sure that no matter what, there will be a reason for you to smile. It's only a matter of being able to find that reason...
: ) -
you know what! Why not tell him e things you always wanted to say!! this is a way to closure too! believe me..else in future maybe you will regret it.Originally posted by sunpastilles:Okay, I was wrong. I interpreted his words wrongly. We were oooooooover days ago. Now I feel so dumb. But oh well, I was actually looking forward to THE TALK.. but, it never comes, and now, it never will.
I didn't cry. Somehow, I'm glad I was prepared. Like, I didn't really hope much. But I'm sad leh. Still have no f*cking idea how did we ever become like this. And the thing is... I still didn't manage to tell him the things I've always wanted to say.
Is it good? Or bad? Can't be bothered anymore. Well, I wish him all the best, and, sorry for being such a bad gf, hope he'll find a better one. And, pls, make your gf feel loved, like how a gf should feel. Not like a friend.
Never.
Since you don't have a idea how did you guys became like this, find out...
I got tis prob recently, and i tried my best to find out..which i did.
Sadly sometimes knowing e truth is not a good thing..but still brings a closure yeah..
I know you want this too..a closure so you can moveee on!!! : )