Going for a older female.
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me and my girl click well too... just like that click laio...Originally posted by Deunamist:Don't be afraid. I'm going for someone 6 yrs older. I'm 18 now.
we click very well because we're from the same UG plus just by looking at me without knowing my age you would guess I'm 24 too. and many people say she look like sec 2, sec 3... -
Hey TS, I wish you all the best.
I'm 17 and I'm going out with a 20 year old babe.
We're worried about the age difference, but we're just taking each step as they come along.
God bless Love; where age is not a barrier. -
dear TS,
After reading the posts by fellow forumers, I cannot help but have the following thoughts:
a. firstly, both of you are young and am probably not sure what you want. You may say you do, but I can dare say you don't. Sure, you can say I want to be so and so but in life as you go through it, things change and you will realise you will change you your mind. So, are you her first boyfriend? Is she your first girlfriend?
b. Earlier I have said, technically age is not a barrier so long you love each other, that still holds true. But dude, two things here you got to be clear, you are 16 and she is 20. She is in Uni & you are in ITE. Thats a difference in educational level. I'll be honest with you, whilst I as well as many other forumers here feels that educational level difference shouldn't be an obstacle, it takes a lot of effort to overcome that. Think for a moment, ok, you are ok, she is ok, your friends can be convinced, her parents? If you are serious about this relationship, which I hope you are, you've got to convince her parents that you are worthy of her daughter as her bf.
c. She is uni, which means she will be graduating in 2-3 years time, max. Where will you be then? NS? She will start working and she will see & experience new things in her workplace. She will have financial independence and she will expect new things. You said she is normal, meaning she will be wooed by colleagues, clients, suppliers, what have you. I am not saying she will stray but she will be subjected to temptation. And you, you are still in NS. When you meet, you tell her about how your sergent tekan you and she is thinking, "Oh hell, I was scolded by my manager and sexually harassed by my client, I have no mood to listen to this boyish crap.". Differences in ideas, in thinking you see ,simply because you experience different things every day.
A relationship cannot be sustained without constant communication, you need to talk to each other, about each other's feelings, each other friends (heres one thing, your group of friends will be so different from hers)., about work (if both are working, you can relate to bitchy colleagues, nasty bosses, etc)
c. I am not painting a sullen picture for you. But I just want to tell you, you will have a more rocky road ahead, more challenges, and the possible pitfalls. Do think through and hard and do be aware. Of course, a relationship is not like a business plan, you don't want to plan out everything because alot of things are uncertain. What we can do is tell you those that r highly probable.
Good luck moving ahead, and please talk openly with her about all these differences. make sure both are aware these are going to have a bearing. And if both you are prepped and ok, then by all means proceed.
Life is uncertain anyways, but its always good to know all that you could. Cheers. -
anyway.... IMO... no matter which age u r in.... U'll hv no prob provided the gal's age range is from 18-23....
If the gal grown out of this range... U take care huh...
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it's more and more common for a guy to look up for a gf older than him. 1-2 years older is ok lah but 4 years? it seems to be too big a gap.
as for educational level, you can still catch up with her unlike age in which you can't possibly make yourself older than her right? so educational level, in this case, shouldn't even be an issue at all. -
Might be ok for now...?Originally posted by sand king:Is it alright to go for a girl like, 4 years older then me??
alot of my friends say it wont work or it will be very short term...
im so confused...
please help!
The problem might starts to pour in when she start her working life or people around you starts to give you the PRESSURE.... -
points noted, thanks guys...
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at 16/20 the age gap is really significant///99% cannot workOriginally posted by sand king:16,20 both studying. and going out together.
at late 20s and early 30s it might work cos the age gap doesn't seem that big to me -
You can try, but beware, the young boy always gets taken for a ride, somehow.Originally posted by sand king:Is it alright to go for a girl like, 4 years older then me??
alot of my friends say it wont work or it will be very short term...
im so confused...
please help!
Have you had any girlfriends before? -
u can go for any gals as long as both of u are connected... ur frens dunno ma so they all say cannot...Originally posted by sand king:Is it alright to go for a girl like, 4 years older then me??
alot of my friends say it wont work or it will be very short term...
im so confused...
please help! -
I am now facing this similar experience.
i'm 24 going 25 and there's this colleague whom i have since fallen for and she is 5 years my age. Started to think it may just a phase, but then I cant seem to let her out of my mind. I took everything about her meticulously, like i'm all prepared to be there if she ever needs my help or stuff like that.
But then again, I have been wooing her for 6 months now, and my colleagues and friend who were supportive intially has now gone on to tell me to give it up as she is unreceptive.
It is true that in an ideal situation, age is not a barrier if you really love each other. But then I am faced all these problems.
1) She's at the age of settling down, dating for a year or two and get married, surely she wouldnt consider some guy who is definitely younger.
2) From the looks of it, she would've tot I am unstable and unable to care for her, not in terms of material, but in terms of financial, mental maturity.
3) I, being colleagues with her, and me having lost my balls ever since falling for her, has developed a fear of a lot of things for her if i proceeded to go after her. Like if she doesnt like me, would work relationship be affected, fear of rejection, fear of being avoided.
Up till lately, I've been super duper down... cos I know I dont stand a chance anymore, and the fact everyone around me telling me she's seeing someone now. I feel exhausted, lost and everything. The fact that I see her everyday, and the fact i tot I stood a chance made me feel very lost right now.
I dunno how to put into words many more thoughts of mine, but I am feeling really terrible right now. -
If she is not receptive, what are you waiting for?Originally posted by GreatBallsofFire:I am now facing this similar experience.
i'm 24 going 25 and there's this colleague whom i have since fallen for and she is 5 years my age. Started to think it may just a phase, but then I cant seem to let her out of my mind. I took everything about her meticulously, like i'm all prepared to be there if she ever needs my help or stuff like that.
But then again, I have been wooing her for 6 months now, and my colleagues and friend who were supportive intially has now gone on to tell me to give it up as she is unreceptive.
It is true that in an ideal situation, age is not a barrier if you really love each other. But then I am faced all these problems.
1) She's at the age of settling down, dating for a year or two and get married, surely she wouldnt consider some guy who is definitely younger.
2) From the looks of it, she would've tot I am unstable and unable to care for her, not in terms of material, but in terms of financial, mental maturity.
3) I, being colleagues with her, and me having lost my balls ever since falling for her, has developed a fear of a lot of things for her if i proceeded to go after her. Like if she doesnt like me, would work relationship be affected, fear of rejection, fear of being avoided.
Up till lately, I've been super duper down... cos I know I dont stand a chance anymore, and the fact everyone around me telling me she's seeing someone now. I feel exhausted, lost and everything. The fact that I see her everyday, and the fact i tot I stood a chance made me feel very lost right now.
I dunno how to put into words many more thoughts of mine, but I am feeling really terrible right now. -
it's definitely ok..Originally posted by sand king:Is it alright to go for a girl like, 4 years older then me??
alot of my friends say it wont work or it will be very short term...
im so confused...
please help!
but it is going to be short..
well.. tt's merely my personal opinion..