bloody ungrateful sister
-
my sis havent been staying with us for a few years. since primary school. recently O lvl finished so she came home to stay with us. before that she stayed at our grandma place with the aunties.
so after 2months, she decided to run back to our grandma place and not come home. why?
1) my parents force her to break up with a malay guy
2) says my parents v fake, only dote me and neglect her
3) even our relatives treat her better than our parents
sigh.
i feel like slapping her sia. scolding her. but will all this help...i doubt so... -
how come your sis never stay with your family?
-
file the what beyond parental control against her. den sent to girls home. should able to learn how to wisen up there.
-
my family belong to the lower income group. then got some family issues. so is best that she stay with my grandma and also because closer to her school.
she not a very bright girl, v blur. my parents working, scared cannot take care of her then she go astray. so go my grandma place solve all problems.
then she wanted to come back, my parents also feel guilty for leaving her there for so many years. more than 5 years.
now she come back because i going NS liao. then my family no need support me ma. gov support me. so they can afford for her to come home lor. -
let her be, let her choose the way she wants to lead a happy life.....
-
hmmm... 1) why ur parents want to force her to break up.Originally posted by bladez87:my sis havent been staying with us for a few years. since primary school. recently O lvl finished so she came home to stay with us. before that she stayed at our grandma place with the aunties.
so after 2months, she decided to run back to our grandma place and not come home. why?
1) my parents force her to break up with a malay guy
2) says my parents v fake, only dote me and neglect her
3) even our relatives treat her better than our parents
sigh.
i feel like slapping her sia. scolding her. but will all this help...i doubt so...
any other reason beside he is a malay guy?
2 n 3...maybe? since she stay with them for a few years liao..since p school..
have to find out more if not cant say its her fault totally? -
my parents feel guilty for abandoning her for so many years liao. they will nv send her to girls home.Originally posted by TYING:file the what beyond parental control against her. den sent to girls home. should able to learn how to wisen up there. -
they got bad impression of malay guysOriginally posted by SGpork:hmmm... 1) why ur parents want to force her to break up.
any other reason beside he is a malay guy?
2 n 3...maybe? since she stay with them for a few years liao..since p school..
have to find out more if not cant say its her fault totally? -
alright all this can be put aside. no point.
what i want know is what she needs or wants the most now. and if i can accomplish that...
ask her no point, she will not talk de. -
see it from her point of view ba
whether she blur or not is one issue
i am sure she felt very hurt that she was the one 'chosen' to live w ur grandparents over you
looks like during those years, ur parents did not keep in close contact with her
they have their own reasons but nothing can take the place
of actually spending time during the 'bringing up' of your child
especially during teenage years when they tend to need adult guidance the most.
it isnt going to be easy for her to 'integrate' herself back to the family
and so shortly after tt, for parents who 'struggle' to control her when they have relinquished control so many years ago
Perhaps if you have been in her shoes you would have been confused, frustrated and torn too
but she has no one on her side now does she?
Not to say she is RIGHT but just to listen to her without judgement for the time being. -
i think it's only fair for your parents to meet the malay guy and know him better before they object to their r/s.
poor sis.. have to be away from parents for so long.. she has been deprived of parents' love ba.. i think what she needs is acceptance and love from your parents. -
she got mental problem... sometimes force cannot solve it...Originally posted by bladez87:my sis havent been staying with us for a few years. since primary school. recently O lvl finished so she came home to stay with us. before that she stayed at our grandma place with the aunties.
so after 2months, she decided to run back to our grandma place and not come home. why?
1) my parents force her to break up with a malay guy
2) says my parents v fake, only dote me and neglect her
3) even our relatives treat her better than our parents
sigh.
i feel like slapping her sia. scolding her. but will all this help...i doubt so... -
All your sister needs now is love. Love from you and your parents. In many ways I don't blame her for behaving like that. Sadly, to her your family is like a stranger since she grows up at your grandparents' place. What makes you think that you can tell her what to do (to break up with her bf even though it's with good intention) etc when all these years none of you show any interest in her.Originally posted by bladez87:alright all this can be put aside. no point.
what i want know is what she needs or wants the most now. and if i can accomplish that...
ask her no point, she will not talk de.
While I understand that your parents' predicament to have her stay with your grandparents, however for someone who is still young like your sister, all she feels is rejection from your parents. Also, she has probably been wondering why your parents chose to "abandon" her instead of you and hence her comments about your parents being bias.
I think you and your parents need to be patient and try to spend more time with her to allow all of you to "get to know" each other as family. Perhaps, your parents should try to explain to her about the situation and why they made her stay with the grandparents. Also, she might need to have some counselling, just to help her to deal with her hurts, resentments etc.
Love her, be supportive to her is all you can do now. Hopefully as time passes, she will warm up towards your family and will come to know how much your family loves her.
Good luck!
-
Honestly, like what the rest have posted.Originally posted by bladez87:my sis havent been staying with us for a few years. since primary school. recently O lvl finished so she came home to stay with us. before that she stayed at our grandma place with the aunties.
so after 2months, she decided to run back to our grandma place and not come home. why?
1) my parents force her to break up with a malay guy
2) says my parents v fake, only dote me and neglect her
3) even our relatives treat her better than our parents
sigh.
i feel like slapping her sia. scolding her. but will all this help...i doubt so...
You will take on a elder brother's position to try to understand her instead of calling your sis ungrateful.
Cheers -
trying. thanks for the help.
just felt she v ungrateful when she said what our parents did for her is v fake.
now she home le. my parents talked to her. hopefully she understands. my parents visit her every weekend while my mom stays over some weekdays. so she is not entirely deprived of parental love. -
There is nth to do. Cept to let her learn by the hard way.
-
I won't blame your sister for the way that she behaves. I sympathetise with her. I can just say that your family will have to work very hard to bond with one another coz your family bond is not there in the first place. To her, Mum and Dad and Brother are just "names", and it doesn't carry the same significance as what it means to all of us who have parental care and love.
Cheers. -
but since she does not want to listen to your parents, you all have to do something before all is too late.Originally posted by bladez87:my parents feel guilty for abandoning her for so many years liao. they will nv send her to girls home.
What if she gets into trouble with law? or even get pregnant?
you nv know what teenagers are able to come up with.
Discipline starts from young, if you cant do it, let the authorities help you.
Sometimes being firm and harsh will help a lot. -
The highlighted is only by your assumed opinion or observation.Originally posted by bladez87:trying. thanks for the help.
just felt she v ungrateful when she said what our parents did for her is v fake.
now she home le. my parents talked to her. hopefully she understands. my parents visit her every weekend while my mom stays over some weekdays. so she is not entirely deprived of parental love. -
i believe u shd try spending more time on her and talk with her as much as u can.Originally posted by bladez87:my sis havent been staying with us for a few years. since primary school. recently O lvl finished so she came home to stay with us. before that she stayed at our grandma place with the aunties.
so after 2months, she decided to run back to our grandma place and not come home. why?
1) my parents force her to break up with a malay guy
2) says my parents v fake, only dote me and neglect her
3) even our relatives treat her better than our parents
sigh.
i feel like slapping her sia. scolding her. but will all this help...i doubt so... -
your parents were not around her very much and this sudden intrusion into her life can be distressing for her.....your family should spent more time getting to know her all over again before doing the parenting stuff.....
-
dude.. have a heart to heart conversation with her.. thats your sister you're talking about.. we dont know her.Originally posted by bladez87:alright all this can be put aside. no point.
what i want know is what she needs or wants the most now. and if i can accomplish that...
ask her no point, she will not talk de.
trust me, if you dont talk to her.. who will? -
people are always ungrateful. I've never met anyone whose grateful untilI tell them the service or items I provided them, they have to be paid for.
-
play reverse psychology. ask her go back instead and dont come back ever
-
Double Post