I worry for my friend..
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I am serious. I worry for him and him is not me. So don't say that I'm talking about myself in the 3rd person. I am extremely serious here.
I think he is very insecure, He thinks that everyone is backstabbing him (including me) and tells me about his plans to get back at them. He keeps telling me he can't wait to say their faces when they are begging for his forgiveness.
I asked him what he meant by that and everytime he said "You'll see"
Then I told him, Don't be so calculative. As well as treat people in the right mindset. One of my bro, Who met him recently and got to know him told me that this person is too scheming and said that he is not sincere in being friends with anyone.
But he has this group of friends who I think are his closer friends but I do not know them.
So I tell him to change his attitude to people but he wouldn't listen, Then I tell him that if you go in this manner into Poly, You'll probably end up with no friends. Then he replied to me, All my friends are like me and they have alot of friends.
I told him that the first time I met his friends, They all didn't seem like what he said they were. Then he said, "They are just very good at hiding it"
So I said, Poly people are not dumb.
Then he starts to laugh and tells me to watch how he would control his poly.
What I worry is that I don't him to end up like some social outcast because I still treat him as a friend. What are the ways I can talk to him and change him for the better? He keeps trying to think of ways to do others in.
He even takes his friends photo and put into a friendster account for people he terms as freaks.
Anyone? -
If you ask me, I think I'm sort of like that too, but not that serious. People can see me joke, play around and monkeying around with my friend, however I will still take some precautious in my heart.
Yea, its fun when I do things with my friends, however I still can't trust my friends completely. Sometime, they talk bad about my other friends, so what makes you think they won't talk bad about about you. Plus, you will never know what are they thinking about even when their laughing with you.
After all its a dog eat dog world, you snooze you lose and that what I have been taught from young by my parents.
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You cant really help. Everyone in the world is like that. You too , maybe you just didnt realise.
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But can he justify like why he thinks others is backstabbing him? And err...have u too?
Yes, to a certain extent friends, backstab each other and yet are still friends. Is like u complain about your family member, but u still love them?
But to think you are still studying, when u start working it just gets worst. It sort of become do something for an agenda type of mentality lor. Coz most times, u may be so tired from work, u rather not talk. -
lucky you say poly people are not dumb..
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he not scheming. he is.. err.. scheming wannabe. so u're right, he ain't vile, juz overly insecure.
i wouldn't do anything if i were you, juz treat him as usual. u do anything unusual, it'd bring his suspicion onto urself. -
Originally posted by R3SsH|n:lucky you say poly people are not dumb..
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i wonder how do ppl like your friend get a gf.
he's just overly overly overly insecure i think...bad experiences maybe? -
to tell the truth, i've got a bad feeling after reading this post.Originally posted by Agenda:I am serious. I worry for him and him is not me. So don't say that I'm talking about myself in the 3rd person. I am extremely serious here.
I think he is very insecure, He thinks that everyone is backstabbing him (including me) and tells me about his plans to get back at them. He keeps telling me he can't wait to say their faces when they are begging for his forgiveness.
I asked him what he meant by that and everytime he said "You'll see"
Then I told him, Don't be so calculative. As well as treat people in the right mindset. One of my bro, Who met him recently and got to know him told me that this person is too scheming and said that he is not sincere in being friends with anyone.
But he has this group of friends who I think are his closer friends but I do not know them.
So I tell him to change his attitude to people but he wouldn't listen, Then I tell him that if you go in this manner into Poly, You'll probably end up with no friends. Then he replied to me, All my friends are like me and they have alot of friends.
I told him that the first time I met his friends, They all didn't seem like what he said they were. Then he said, "They are just very good at hiding it"
So I said, Poly people are not dumb.
Then he starts to laugh and tells me to watch how he would control his poly.
What I worry is that I don't him to end up like some social outcast because I still treat him as a friend. What are the ways I can talk to him and change him for the better? He keeps trying to think of ways to do others in.
He even takes his friends photo and put into a friendster account for people he terms as freaks.
Anyone?
this friend of yours, does he get bullied by others in school? from what you mentioned, he has this mentality of wanting to do others in. this isn't healthy thinking at all.
at first it may seem insignificant but when he starts to take action, better pay him more attention. you say he takes his friend's photo and term them as "freaks". right now, this is all he can do to get back at them. but who knows what will happen if you give him some authority and power.
organise outings. go spend a day at the beach, have steamboat at marina, watch a movie, have fun at the arcade. make him realise that he has got friends and not everyone is out to get him.
try to change him before its too late. i wouldn't want to see him doing anything foolish in the future.
good luck! -
No, He bullies others. He outcasts those he think are unworthy, Like looks very ugly like that.
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*** WARNING ***
immature kid detected -
Originally posted by Chris1988:
[b]*** WARNING ***
immature kid detected [/b] -
Help him? Why don't you just help yourself and stay away from him?Originally posted by Agenda:I am serious. I worry for him and him is not me. So don't say that I'm talking about myself in the 3rd person. I am extremely serious here.
I think he is very insecure, He thinks that everyone is backstabbing him (including me) and tells me about his plans to get back at them. He keeps telling me he can't wait to say their faces when they are begging for his forgiveness.
I asked him what he meant by that and everytime he said "You'll see"
Then I told him, Don't be so calculative. As well as treat people in the right mindset. One of my bro, Who met him recently and got to know him told me that this person is too scheming and said that he is not sincere in being friends with anyone.
But he has this group of friends who I think are his closer friends but I do not know them.
So I tell him to change his attitude to people but he wouldn't listen, Then I tell him that if you go in this manner into Poly, You'll probably end up with no friends. Then he replied to me, All my friends are like me and they have alot of friends.
I told him that the first time I met his friends, They all didn't seem like what he said they were. Then he said, "They are just very good at hiding it"
So I said, Poly people are not dumb.
Then he starts to laugh and tells me to watch how he would control his poly.
What I worry is that I don't him to end up like some social outcast because I still treat him as a friend. What are the ways I can talk to him and change him for the better? He keeps trying to think of ways to do others in.
He even takes his friends photo and put into a friendster account for people he terms as freaks.
Anyone?
Else, I think that by being willing to stay by his side as a friend is already quite a sufficient help by itself...
If there's one kind of person you can't help, that would be one who thinks he / she doesn't have any problem at all... -
Friendship is only possible bucause ur friends do not say to you what they say behind ur back.
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so is this his retribution that he is getting backstabbed...?Originally posted by Agenda:No, He bullies others. He outcasts those he think are unworthy, Like looks very ugly like that.
ok, we've to admit that it isn't a very nice thing and a rather childish thing for that matter to talk behind one's back.
But we have to examine whether the rumours concerning ur friend are true... Is it true that he is as scheming as they make him out to be?
I can see that a cloud of pessimism has shrouded your friend's sense of judgement, causing him to perceive the world and its people in a very negative light...
Regardless of whether people are as malicious or scheming as he makes them
out to be, there is always something positive that arises from the situation.
For one, it is a chance for him to grow and learn how to forgive... since he is bound to meet such people in the future, might as well treat this as a practical lesson in forgiveness and how to deal with the situation.
Then again... what is backstabbing? it is just an imaginary knife poked into your back. it hurts at first, but after a while the pain fades and you move on... -
i wonder how he wld react think if he reads this topic.
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I think I know who
But then again, they said this is his character since Sec 1, what can you do?