Confused... What do I do? (kinda long, sorry!)
-
Thanks for the replies, really... Very insightful and useful...
Edit: 05:12 AM
heartbreak43, thanks for the reply but I already have made up my mind on what to do... so yeah, end of discussion, lets let this thread die. -
Haha, your story is very similar to mine. But instead of getting into a relationship, we became closer friends instead.
Anyway, you need to be aware about what she's going through. Moving from a secondary school to a JC can mean a lot.
1) She has a new social life (spending time with her new classmates),
2) A new learning environment to adapt to. Studying in JCs is a totally different level compared to secondary schools
*can only think of these 2 points.
Perhaps paying more attention to things that are new to her is her personality. If you feel uncomfortable about the things she do, let her know.
If she change, good la. But if she remains unchanged, you can consider letting her go because she's not changing herself for you. You'll only live in hell if you refuse to let go.
From what i see, as a friend or boyfriend-to-be, you should respect her decision. If her decision is to reply your messages, so be it. For your question, "Did I do the right thing by saying I won't bother her by messaging her first?". to me its "no". It's simply threatening her and not giving her a freedom to make her own decision. Or rather, if everyone send her that message, she'll probably go crazy.
And the last thing. If you really like her so much, think about her before think about yourself. It's a rather selfish thing to tell people how you feel when you don't even think about how she feels?
"I don't know how much its helping her cope with JC, but it sure feels like its hurting whatever we have between us." It's always YOU YOU and YOU!! You don't even know what's happening in her JC? If she's facing a big problem like being outcasted in her JC that is hurting her very badly while you only care about how you feel, how horribly disgusted will she feel?
Even so, what makes you so special anyway? Such that she has to reply you within 1 day? 1hr? 1min? Just because she said she liked you? -
Let me give you some advice. We can never get into a women head. Stop over analysing over whether she msg u back or not. Women are confused, dun believe her 100% what she told you! Be persistent. Women like to give tests. And if you give up easily, you fail the test. You never take risk! Nothing will be gained! If you think by bringing her into your life you be happy! Go for it!
Make her feel special. Ask her out. Let your actions do the talking. Not on the phone.
And be bold. This is the trickiest part.
Good luck. -
base on my experience . she just had commitment not really going into relationship and at the same time she might have other people in mind other than you.
happens to me also, initially 2 wk before i was enlisted , a so call colleague of mine did express her feelings toward me . she did create a blog , sometimes after reading i find it quite mushy and its just like giving her hope , wherby she commented alot of things on the blog about me .
inside the camp, 1st week as a recruits life was like shit . and i missss my friends and family . she did message me like what you does , sometime i did ignore the messages since its a take care message . after sometime i did find it irritating to send me stupid messages once every 3 days or 2 days . and i dont even have any feelings for her . that time i was thinkings 'ah fug , i`m suffering inside camp , no time to BGR ' -
you are not that great lor.
by sending that sms.. if she dun sms u, then u really can go bang wall le.
but anyway.. like wat devil said.. i dun see wat's the fuss?
sms and msn only.. but realize many ple take them so seriously.
you are the one who's interested yet u wana hang high high and sell.
-
it isnt playing games, nobody likes to tell people off bluntly, especially girls.Originally posted by ordinary_boy:Thats what I've been thinking. Why doesn't she just tell me bluntly so that I will just get it. Playing games when you're in love, hey, by all means... But playing these games when you don't like someone? Spare me the heartache and just tell me... -
I wish they(the girls) will be very direct. They won't usually say, " You aren't my type. Please get lost." Some will but a lot won't. They can't bear to hurt you and then you think so much, that she still likes you. Truth is, she doesn't like you. You don't have to stoop so low as to make her like you. Maybe you like to lose face? Well then, go ahead.Originally posted by Sheepophile:it isnt playing games, nobody likes to tell people off bluntly, especially girls.
doko -
There must be a means and ways to get around such... If she's really that busy, do you think it would be any that easy, or even meaningful at all to get into a relationship with her without being able to spend time with each other...?Originally posted by ordinary_boy:
Its not like I keep pestering her to go out with me or whatever... The most is I ask her about her day and how is she doing... But thank you for you reply anyway... 
And to Devil1976, we have gone out before during the holidays. I would love to ask her out but I know she is very busy, even on weekends, she is tutoring a kid on Saturdays and she usually spends her Sundays at home. I wouldn't wanna take away her Sunday at home unless she is okay with it.