Relationship Advice needed
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I am 17 year old boi hu juz stead a ger for bout a mnth. i had a crush on her for like half a year before mustering enuf courage to ask her out. we went out for bout another half a year before i asked her to become my stead. things are going pretty fine, at least for her side.
i tink im actually oversensitive to a certain extent. shes the type of ger hus popular wif guys and sociable. she has this close guy classmate hu she saes she juz treat as a fren. bt recently her classmates started telling me this guy has been very jealous of me n her even before we had stead. then nw he like kip sticking wif her. furthermore, whenever i go out wif her she will also tend to mention him like 'oh xxx is very nice, we plae badminton tt time he will alwyas hit the shuttlecock to me so tt i can hit it' , 'i played the finger game wif xxx todae then we will hit each other fingers wif our fingers...'. dey would sometimes go out together.
shes nw very happy in this relationship cuz i do my very bez to kip her happy. i nv mention im nt happy if she hangs out too often wif guys cuz im afraid she would find me possesive. bt i realli cant take it at times. i have to sae shes a pretty insenstive ger cuz she dun realli take into account my feelings at times.
i realli nid the help u guys cuz i have no clue wad shld i do nxt. if i truly like her i shldnt change her as she is tt sociable right from the start. she ask me to trust her bt i juz dun even though i said i do. shld i tell her tt im unhappy if she is too close to tt guy? bt it may sound tt im a control freak. she also mentioned her biggest flaw is to take ppl for granted. hw shld i even react to such a statement. -
Prasher, Take heart on one fact.Originally posted by prasher:I am 17 year old boi hu juz stead a ger for bout a mnth. i had a crush on her for like half a year before mustering enuf courage to ask her out. we went out for bout another half a year before i asked her to become my stead. things are going pretty fine, at least for her side.
i tink im actually oversensitive to a certain extent. shes the type of ger hus popular wif guys and sociable. she has this close guy classmate hu she saes she juz treat as a fren. bt recently her classmates started telling me this guy has been very jealous of me n her even before we had stead. then nw he like kip sticking wif her. furthermore, whenever i go out wif her she will also tend to mention him like 'oh xxx is very nice, we plae badminton tt time he will alwyas hit the shuttlecock to me so tt i can hit it' , 'i played the finger game wif xxx todae then we will hit each other fingers wif our fingers...'. dey would sometimes go out together.
shes nw very happy in this relationship cuz i do my very bez to kip her happy. i nv mention im nt happy if she hangs out too often wif guys cuz im afraid she would find me possesive. bt i realli cant take it at times. i have to sae shes a pretty insenstive ger cuz she dun realli take into account my feelings at times.
i realli nid the help u guys cuz i have no clue wad shld i do nxt. if i truly like her i shldnt change her as she is tt sociable right from the start. she ask me to trust her bt i juz dun even though i said i do. shld i tell her tt im unhappy if she is too close to tt guy? bt it may sound tt im a control freak. she also mentioned her biggest flaw is to take ppl for granted. hw shld i even react to such a statement.
She told you all that.
if she is/wants to be more than friends with him, chances are she'll hide all that and when u ask, she'll say something like "today? oh met up a friend lor. Who? xxx lor." etc.
she won't be telling you all these.
there could be 2 (that i can see) reasons she is telling you these....
1) Wants you to know that she has nothing to hide, that you have nothing to fear/be jealous.
2) Wants to see some reaction from you.... like MILD jealousy...
why don't the next time she tells you these things right, try telling her something like this... in a joking manner
"hmmm.... u very close with xxx hor..... hmph.... i jealous liao..... hahaha... but hor.... i trust u la..... tell me if he bully u hor.... i go humtum him!! hehehe"
let her know you do treasure her but also trust her... -
Originally posted by prasher:I am 17 year old boi hu juz stead a ger for bout a mnth. i had a crush on her for like half a year before mustering enuf courage to ask her out. we went out for bout another half a year before i asked her to become my stead. things are going pretty fine, at least for her side.
i tink im actually oversensitive to a certain extent. shes the type of ger hus popular wif guys and sociable. she has this close guy classmate hu she saes she juz treat as a fren. bt recently her classmates started telling me this guy has been very jealous of me n her even before we had stead. then nw he like kip sticking wif her. furthermore, whenever i go out wif her she will also tend to mention him like 'oh xxx is very nice, we plae badminton tt time he will alwyas hit the shuttlecock to me so tt i can hit it' , 'i played the finger game wif xxx todae then we will hit each other fingers wif our fingers...'. dey would sometimes go out together.
shes nw very happy in this relationship cuz i do my very bez to kip her happy. i nv mention im nt happy if she hangs out too often wif guys cuz im afraid she would find me possesive. bt i realli cant take it at times. i have to sae shes a pretty insenstive ger cuz she dun realli take into account my feelings at times.
i realli nid the help u guys cuz i have no clue wad shld i do nxt. if i truly like her i shldnt change her as she is tt sociable right from the start. she ask me to trust her bt i juz dun even though i said i do. shld i tell her tt im unhappy if she is too close to tt guy? bt it may sound tt im a control freak. she also mentioned her biggest flaw is to take ppl for granted. hw shld i even react to such a statement.
talk to her in a diplomatic way, don't be harsh or sound too serious when you talk to her. u could mention yr concern but be rational and sensitive to her feelings when you talk. u could let her know u appreciate her and u may need assurance from her. let her know it's common and normal to have the concern when bf knows gf is quite close to another guy and moreover this guy is jealous of u both together (this is an indication that this guy is interested in her).
Be cool when u talk to her! Can see that u both are pretty new in relationship and there are still lots of things u two may need to sort out.
Good luck. -
Originally posted by prasher:I am 17 year old boi hu juz stead a ger for bout a mnth. i had a crush on her for like half a year before mustering enuf courage to ask her out. we went out for bout another half a year before i asked her to become my stead. things are going pretty fine, at least for her side.
i tink im actually oversensitive to a certain extent. shes the type of ger hus popular wif guys and sociable. she has this close guy classmate hu she saes she juz treat as a fren. bt recently her classmates started telling me this guy has been very jealous of me n her even before we had stead. then nw he like kip sticking wif her. furthermore, whenever i go out wif her she will also tend to mention him like 'oh xxx is very nice, we plae badminton tt time he will alwyas hit the shuttlecock to me so tt i can hit it' , 'i played the finger game wif xxx todae then we will hit each other fingers wif our fingers...'. dey would sometimes go out together.
shes nw very happy in this relationship cuz i do my very bez to kip her happy. i nv mention im nt happy if she hangs out too often wif guys cuz im afraid she would find me possesive. bt i realli cant take it at times. i have to sae shes a pretty insenstive ger cuz she dun realli take into account my feelings at times.
i realli nid the help u guys cuz i have no clue wad shld i do nxt. if i truly like her i shldnt change her as she is tt sociable right from the start. she ask me to trust her bt i juz dun even though i said i do. shld i tell her tt im unhappy if she is too close to tt guy? bt it may sound tt im a control freak. she also mentioned her biggest flaw is to take ppl for granted. hw shld i even react to such a statement.
What happens ultimately is that either you communicate this problem to her and make it a 'known issue', or you simply wait for a sudden implosion to occur before you direct this force outwardly and create devastation.
You must also remember, it is precisely this nature of her that probably allows you to get close to her without much difficulty. Surely, other guys would have done the same thing and forge the same bonds like the way you do - the only difference is that either you made more impact or you were 'faster' in your approach, in which love has developed.
Kinda obvious about this guy's intention to advance on her - jealousy only occurs when feelings are invested and if he is feeling it, he's probably investing chance, time, money and emotions? And likely, he could seize opportunity to give your relationship a low blow, especially when there are frictions brewing from conflicts?
This is the dilemma of leading relationship: should we sacrifice short term, in which our relationship will benefit a broader frame of time, or are we to sacrifice long term to appease short term gains?
You worried about communicating serious and unpleasant issues to your partner, in which a bulk of your worries comes from the fear of losing this relationship. You may decide to keep mum because you would choose to ignore your own concern by brushing it away, but certainly, you wouldn't be able to put it aside for long before you start trashing things. This is sacrificing long term to appease short term gains because once she get 'used' to you behaving in that manner over a long period of time, it would be difficult to make major adjustment in your relationship later or the cost of implementing those changes will be tremendously pricy.
You may like to let her know, over a causal dinner, that this guy is questionable, although you have no plans to restrict her in any sense and you still allow her the freedom.
In the long run, the key is to resolve her insensitivity - not the man around her.
P.S: In marketing, generating awareness does not always equate to sales. But company are still doing it because they see it as a necessary evil?
Cheers -
maybe she just wants to make u feel jealous. what ever it is you might be over reacting a little
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u should tell her
ask me along next time =D i can play the same with u too -
since she has a close boy friend,why dun u find a close girl friend too??
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She is just a friendly girl, who is friendly to all the guys who are keen to befriend her. I think she would also be as friendly to any guy or gal who is keen on being friends with her. A friendly & friendship oriented person.
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Just ditch her. She taking you for granted.
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At 17 years old, it may just be puppy love. As u rightly mentioned, its just a crush. The feeling may not be reciprocal. Studies & friendship are more important at our age. Girls can come much later.Originally posted by norm:She is just a friendly girl, who is friendly to all the guys who are keen to befriend her. I think she would also be as friendly to any guy or gal who is keen on being friends with her. A friendly & friendship oriented person. -
Originally posted by mhcampboy:Just ditch her. She taking you for granted.
