need help in helpin a friend
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Hi,
a girl friend of mine have this problem of forgetting her ex.. they have broken up for about a year.
the thing is, they work at the same place and go to the same church so they always meet each other.
though she says that she had got over him, she still
1) play with the stuff toy he gave her
2) feel upset everytime he ignore her at work
3) till now, do tell me of the "fun" things they had together
he on the other hand,
1) got a gf
2) the gf who know her keep bugging her
3) have a mum who pick him after work.. frm most of her stories, its easy to tell that the mum dont like her.
4) ignore her and only look for her help only when he needs help
now, because of problem 2,3 and 4, she feeling pretty depress. I just feel sad that she, is behavin that way. A gal like her could have better days ahead if only she forget him.
and yea.. i admit i got feelings for her. However, i'm not gonna anything till she forget about this but it just feel so painful lookin at her behaving like that. Being depress all that.
To make things worse, we are undergoing our attachment and our exams are coming in 2 weeks time so got some exams stress here.
So any suggestion on how i can help? -
no.
juz be nice as usual lor. give up anot, as an outsider, u can't do much except some genuine advice once awhile. -
ya been helpin her in anyway i could help.. encouraging her all that.Originally posted by Ito_^:no. juz be nice as usual lor. give up anot, as an outsider, u can't do much except some genuine advice once awhile. -
den leave it at dat lor.Originally posted by ifish:ya been helpin her in anyway i could help.. encouraging her all that.
if u go declare ur love or wad, it'd probably juz gonna end up a sticky mess. -
if u wan to do anything later, dun do anything now..
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ermm.. actually she know but manage to get out of that mess.Originally posted by Ito_^:den leave it at dat lor.
if u go declare ur love or wad, it'd probably juz gonna end up a sticky mess. -
if she got out of that mess, she wouldn't even be feeling depress leh.Originally posted by ifish:ermm.. actually she know but manage to get out of that mess. -
this is gonna be hard..1 year???
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that time when i told her, i dont know about this thing ma.. so i just told her..Originally posted by Ito_^:if she got out of that mess, she wouldn't even be feeling depress leh.
at first, she gave me some stupid reason.. but after some time, i figured out that it's not the stupid reason but the fact that she has not gotten over her ex..
now, we are higher then normal friends but not in any r/s.. can say very very close friends..
i believe, it's not me as she once tell me that there another guy who is interested in her.. cant be both of us not suitable for her rite?
even though i donno the guy who like her, wad i know that he is in the same situation as me.. being very close to her and wanting her to smile more.. -
can safely say 1 year might be moreOriginally posted by crofty:this is gonna be hard..1 year??? -
diao..dun bother la...if they are fated to be together...so they will be..if not...u cant help much on this..
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but as far as their relationship is concerned, u are still "outsider" right?Originally posted by ifish:that time when i told her, i dont know about this thing ma.. so i just told her..
at first, she gave me some stupid reason.. but after some time, i figured out that it's not the stupid reason but the fact that she has not gotten over her ex..
now, we are higher then normal friends but not in any r/s.. can say very very close friends..
i believe, it's not me as she once tell me that there another guy who is interested in her.. cant be both of us not suitable for her rite?
even though i donno the guy who like her, wad i know that he is in the same situation as me.. being very close to her and wanting her to smile more.. -
it's not about us being together.. it about her being happy. just dont feel nice that she's depress all that.Originally posted by nuttawood1990:diao..dun bother la...if they are fated to be together...so they will be..if not...u cant help much on this.. -
yesh.. in fact, i'm much more of an outsider then the other guyOriginally posted by Ito_^:but as far as their relationship is concerned, u are still "outsider" right? -
den u can't do anything, if any at all. let it be la. her choice to stay depressed.Originally posted by ifish:yesh.. in fact, i'm much more of an outsider then the other guy -
concentrate on your exams first... maybe u can bring her out and study together... one way to help her is to show her and let her know tat there are better guys out there.... since u like her, go ahead and give her your care and concern... accompany her and ask her out lo... know her more and bring her out of the hole... good luck...Originally posted by ifish:Hi,
a girl friend of mine have this problem of forgetting her ex.. they have broken up for about a year.
the thing is, they work at the same place and go to the same church so they always meet each other.
though she says that she had got over him, she still
1) play with the stuff toy he gave her
2) feel upset everytime he ignore her at work
3) till now, do tell me of the "fun" things they had together
he on the other hand,
1) got a gf
2) the gf who know her keep bugging her
3) have a mum who pick him after work.. frm most of her stories, its easy to tell that the mum dont like her.
4) ignore her and only look for her help only when he needs help
now, because of problem 2,3 and 4, she feeling pretty depress. I just feel sad that she, is behavin that way. A gal like her could have better days ahead if only she forget him.
and yea.. i admit i got feelings for her. However, i'm not gonna anything till she forget about this but it just feel so painful lookin at her behaving like that. Being depress all that.
To make things worse, we are undergoing our attachment and our exams are coming in 2 weeks time so got some exams stress here.
So any suggestion on how i can help? -
console her at ur bestOriginally posted by ifish:Hi,
a girl friend of mine have this problem of forgetting her ex.. they have broken up for about a year.
the thing is, they work at the same place and go to the same church so they always meet each other.
though she says that she had got over him, she still
1) play with the stuff toy he gave her
2) feel upset everytime he ignore her at work
3) till now, do tell me of the "fun" things they had together
he on the other hand,
1) got a gf
2) the gf who know her keep bugging her
3) have a mum who pick him after work.. frm most of her stories, its easy to tell that the mum dont like her.
4) ignore her and only look for her help only when he needs help
now, because of problem 2,3 and 4, she feeling pretty depress. I just feel sad that she, is behavin that way. A gal like her could have better days ahead if only she forget him.
and yea.. i admit i got feelings for her. However, i'm not gonna anything till she forget about this but it just feel so painful lookin at her behaving like that. Being depress all that.
To make things worse, we are undergoing our attachment and our exams are coming in 2 weeks time so got some exams stress here.
So any suggestion on how i can help? -
yea.. been trying to distract her in this issue by doin the stuff mention above, like studyin with her and all that. The problem is, it work for a while. It's like the medication lose effect after some time.Originally posted by BrUtUs:concentrate on your exams first... maybe u can bring her out and study together... one way to help her is to show her and let her know tat there are better guys out there.... since u like her, go ahead and give her your care and concern... accompany her and ask her out lo... know her more and bring her out of the hole... good luck... -
She can start by putting aside all the things that he gave to her and keep it somewhere hidden from sight.Originally posted by ifish:Hi,
a girl friend of mine have this problem of forgetting her ex.. they have broken up for about a year.
the thing is, they work at the same place and go to the same church so they always meet each other.
though she says that she had got over him, she still
1) play with the stuff toy he gave her
2) feel upset everytime he ignore her at work
3) till now, do tell me of the "fun" things they had together
he on the other hand,
1) got a gf
2) the gf who know her keep bugging her
3) have a mum who pick him after work.. frm most of her stories, its easy to tell that the mum dont like her.
4) ignore her and only look for her help only when he needs help
now, because of problem 2,3 and 4, she feeling pretty depress. I just feel sad that she, is behavin that way. A gal like her could have better days ahead if only she forget him.
and yea.. i admit i got feelings for her. However, i'm not gonna anything till she forget about this but it just feel so painful lookin at her behaving like that. Being depress all that.
To make things worse, we are undergoing our attachment and our exams are coming in 2 weeks time so got some exams stress here.
So any suggestion on how i can help?
SHe already has to see him at wk, no need for these things to haunt her at home...
as for church, maybe she can try to change a church?
but bottomline is, how willing is she to let go? or does she just wanna hold on? -
Do you feel sad for her?Originally posted by ifish:yea.. been trying to distract her in this issue by doin the stuff mention above, like studyin with her and all that. The problem is, it work for a while. It's like the medication lose effect after some time. -
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join us for basketball
and give her good advice and that all you can do and tell her that she will get over it sooner or later and don't mention his name or stuffs related to him
just tell her that she will get over it keep propaganda her =X -
not really sad.. but i feel painful lookin at her this behaving this way. Afterall, i just want her to be happyOriginally posted by Devil1976:Do you feel sad for her? -
Fish ah Fish, simple. Stay by her, spend more time with her, find right time, tell her your feelings for her lah. Or join her when she's playing with the toys her ex bf bought for her. Do the old fashion way, hug her tight and tell her striaght in her eyes that u like her. If still cannot work out, then plan B loh.
Plan B = Find another girl and forget about her.
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Plan A - Like i say, i've told her i like her before.. that was few mths back when I did not know about all this.Originally posted by redpicanto:Fish ah Fish, simple. Stay by her, spend more time with her, find right time, tell her your feelings for her lah. Or join her when she's playing with the toys her ex bf bought for her. Do the old fashion way, hug her tight and tell her striaght in her eyes that u like her. If still cannot work out, then plan B loh.
Plan B = Find another girl and forget about her.
Plan B - i would have done the same if she's just a friend. I guess
btw.. i'm not hurrying her to forget her ex so that i could get into a r/s with her -
How painful....?Originally posted by ifish:not really sad.. but i feel painful lookin at her this behaving this way. Afterall, i just want her to be happy