Is chastity still valued?
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Honestly, if you're here to do rantings.
It's fine.
You are of age to think and make decisions. The last few post have already concluded many things between you and him.
No longer about Chastity.
It is about Character flaws and clashes.
You have all the reason to break up. But what are you doing now?
The impression you gave is playing 'victim', i hope you'll just make a clean decision and have nothing to do with that guy anymore. -
no la, i wun.Originally posted by kuri:but ur siggie says ur a girl
sorry bbb jie..dunno why when i m depressed i like to do funny things even more..luckily we'r not talkin on msn..if not u'll sure b irritated n dissed off again by my nonsensical comments n wat hav nots..
im a man but a girl at heart, cannot meh?
girl ar, be prepared that u might not be able to get the money back..
and if u really dun get it back, take it that u are buying a lesson, but could be quite a heavy price to u. -
kuri can i ask why you like this guy in the first place?Originally posted by kuri:but ur siggie says ur a girl
sorry bbb jie..dunno why when i m depressed i like to do funny things even more..luckily we'r not talkin on msn..if not u'll sure b irritated n dissed off again by my nonsensical comments n wat hav nots.. -
love is blind...anyone can like anyone of his/her sexual preference=pOriginally posted by zeny:kuri can i ask why you like this guy in the first place? -
Ok. But just to remind you that starting off in that direction of coping with 'survival' is already hard enough... Not to mention that you'll have to deal with the character and expectation difference for a relationship.... And his own personal issues if he really has depression and is having difficulty coping with it as you've claimed... It's really gonna be too difficult a battle for you (of your calibre) and the odd for the positive turn is really very slim....Originally posted by kuri:Money's not in yet he said he deposited the cheque ytd nite so give it one more day to go into my account.Dunno what to say bout his repeated delays anymore.
Feeling terribly sick now..when i smsed him bout my condition n that he had been too self absorbed to care bout me he didnt even know i m sick he sent me an mms with some ugly cartoon guy playing guitar n add in the title "i love you", the very same one he has sent me at 4am this morning. does he expect me to feel touched or even comforted at all? this crap is too impersonal to give me any sense of warmth or concern even.. what's the point of being in a relationship when it makes me feel so unloved and uncared for..for the past few days he didnt even want to hear my voice..refused to pick up my calls..sms me stuff that makes me feel so cold inside then suddenly "dun take it as i love u any less. i love you beyond words." why then he didnt even bother to pick up or give me a call back sometime? sick of this kind of sms "cycles".
he says his liver hurts from too much med i showed him concern he gives me the attitude, i called him he doesnt want to answer then what can i do? why keep smsing me? n keep smsing me at 3+am 4+am expecting me to reply promptly?
i m so tired of all these..tried to talk to him so many times bout it..even tho it has only been a short few months..there has been too much turmoils..each time after some hard talk n he did corrective actions from then on..only to return to square one not more than two weeks later..
wats the point of claiming how much he loves me n trying so hard to prove it only to disappoint me time n again with his kind of behaviour.
where is my dear when i need love and comfort the most..i'm not even expecting him to b physically ard for me that would b nice but i wouldnt ask for it.. i just want a bit of tlc at least a short phone call of concern or a verbal *huggies dearie* is it too much to ask for?
i'm trying to convince myself to set off after i get my money back.
i'm urging myself to give up on him yet it hurts so much.
in my heart still lies this tiny ray of hope that i want to be the one who could survive darkest times of his life with him.my love for him still hasnt died.
but it's so unbearably taxing emotionally n mentally i dun know how long i can survive if i continue staying ard for him.
My personal take is rather for him to cope with his depression 1st then you may wanna talk about the relationship difference is ya want to? I think you're still barely in tact now... The last thing we would like to see if having you fall apart yourself because of this relationship... By then, even your leaving from the relationship might not really make things any easier for you too....? -
She is still young. Give her some time, I am sure she will make the right decision eventually.Originally posted by Haven:Honestly, if you're here to do rantings.
It's fine.
You are of age to think and make decisions. The last few post have already concluded many things between you and him.
No longer about Chastity.
It is about Character flaws and clashes.
You have all the reason to break up. But what are you doing now?
The impression you gave is playing 'victim', i hope you'll just make a clean decision and have nothing to do with that guy anymore. -
What kind of love is blind? Unconditional love? Selfish love? Sacrificial love? Materialistic love? Realistic love? What kind of love are you talking about?Originally posted by darkhour:love is blind...anyone can like anyone of his/her sexual preference=p -
I suppose hes refering to unconditional love.Originally posted by Bontakun:What kind of love is blind? Unconditional love? Selfish love? Sacrificial love? Materialistic love? Realistic love? What kind of love are you talking about? -
he waited for me near my block ytd, called me n say if i dun want to meet him it's alrite he'll continue staying there for sometime just to keep me company by being near. we met somewhere near my place. he bought my favourite porridge and insisted i take his cough medicine it would make me feel better. he says i look so mad he didnt dare to go near me. after sometime i really couldnt finish the porridge he bought he asked me if i could sit beside him. he then grabbed me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. i turned away from him. when he held onto me so tight again i couldnt resist hugging him back. it felt really comforting to lean on him quietly, it has been so long since i felt that comfort. someone said i m playing victim here. perhaps. i only have myself to blame for not being determined enough and succumbing to my emotions.Originally posted by Devil1976:Ok. But just to remind you that starting off in that direction of coping with 'survival' is already hard enough... Not to mention that you'll have to deal with the character and expectation difference for a relationship.... And his own personal issues if he really has depression and is having difficulty coping with it as you've claimed... It's really gonna be too difficult a battle for you (of your calibre) and the odd for the positive turn is really very slim....
My personal take is rather for him to cope with his depression 1st then you may wanna talk about the relationship difference is ya want to? I think you're still barely in tact now... The last thing we would like to see if having you fall apart yourself because of this relationship... By then, even your leaving from the relationship might not really make things any easier for you too....?
i am not sure what to do again. some part of me wished he never appeared ytd n it would b much easier to convince myself give up on him yet the other part of me is glad he still cared so much for me. i dunno wat to expect anymore. we agreed to talk after we got well.
i guess the only tangible thing to b sure of now is whether my money's back. bout time that cheque cleared, i m gona go check now ba. -
Do update us if the money is in. I still dun trust this guy. He doesnt seem genuine. I was like this once till i realise that im wrong.Originally posted by kuri:he waited for me near my block ytd, called me n say if i dun want to meet him it's alrite he'll continue staying there for sometime just to keep me company by being near. we met somewhere near my place. he bought my favourite porridge and insisted i take his cough medicine it would make me feel better. he says i look so mad he didnt dare to go near me. after sometime i really couldnt finish the porridge he bought he asked me if i could sit beside him. he then grabbed me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. i turned away from him. when he held onto me so tight again i couldnt resist hugging him back. it felt really comforting to lean on him quietly, it has been so long since i felt that comfort. someone said i m playing victim here. perhaps. i only have myself to blame for not being determined enough and succumbing to my emotions.
i am not sure what to do again. some part of me wished he never appeared ytd n it would b much easier to convince myself give up on him yet the other part of me is glad he still cared so much for me. i dunno wat to expect anymore. we agreed to talk after we got well.
i guess the only tangible thing to b sure of now is whether my money's back. bout time that cheque cleared, i m gona go check now ba. -
what made u realise ur wrong?Originally posted by freestyle:Do update us if the money is in. I still dun trust this guy. He doesnt seem genuine. I was like this once till i realise that im wrong.
i dunno why no matter how determined i m to give up on him..once he does smt like this to give me hope again i m so confused..i guess deep inside me i still want so much for us to work out..i felt really happy when he held my hand and hugged me again..i know i m being silly but i couldnt prevent myself from feeling that way..
my head's spinning now..it seems there r so many problems it would b easier to let go yet i can't.. -
keep giving in to him then, after a while the cycle will repeat and he will treat you badly again...then he will treat you nicely and you will forgive him...Originally posted by kuri:what made u realise ur wrong?
i dunno why no matter how determined i m to give up on him..once he does smt like this to give me hope again i m so confused..i guess deep inside me i still want so much for us to work out..i felt really happy when he held my hand and hugged me again..i know i m being silly but i couldnt prevent myself from feeling that way..
my head's spinning now..it seems there r so many problems it would b easier to let go yet i can't..
it will never end. -
I start to think for the girl. And not myself. Thats when i realised i was wrong. I realised that i didnt loved her. And its nt going to be fair to her and the r/s.Originally posted by kuri:what made u realise ur wrong?
i dunno why no matter how determined i m to give up on him..once he does smt like this to give me hope again i m so confused..i guess deep inside me i still want so much for us to work out..i felt really happy when he held my hand and hugged me again..i know i m being silly but i couldnt prevent myself from feeling that way..
my head's spinning now..it seems there r so many problems it would b easier to let go yet i can't..
But that aside, perhaps something u could think about to get u to move on is the fact that he is not GENUINE about this r/s. Trust me this once, i was in your bf's shoes i know exactly what he is thinking. Manipulate and manipulate till he get what he wants. His acts may seem to you that he is true, but let me tell you doing all those stuff is effortless. You shldnt let momentarily happiness foil your permanent happiness. Feeling of being hugged and kissed, any guy can give it to you. Im sure you would want it from someone who is sincere about you. Btw is the money in?
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Reverse psychology Miss rainee?Originally posted by rainee:keep giving in to him then, after a while the cycle will repeat and he will treat you badly again...then he will treat you nicely and you will forgive him...
it will never end.
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Then how do we know if its good if unconditional love is blind? Would that be good or bad? What about other types of love? Are they blind too? Or they have an agenda to begin with?Originally posted by freestyle:I suppose hes refering to unconditional love. -
What do you want to do with regards to your relationship with him as of now?Originally posted by kuri:what made u realise ur wrong?
i dunno why no matter how determined i m to give up on him..once he does smt like this to give me hope again i m so confused..i guess deep inside me i still want so much for us to work out..i felt really happy when he held my hand and hugged me again..i know i m being silly but i couldnt prevent myself from feeling that way..
my head's spinning now..it seems there r so many problems it would b easier to let go yet i can't.. -
Wah...tis topic still around ar?
Threadstarter still cannot decide ar? tsk..tsk..tsk.. -
got well from wat?Originally posted by kuri:he waited for me near my block ytd, called me n say if i dun want to meet him it's alrite he'll continue staying there for sometime just to keep me company by being near. we met somewhere near my place. he bought my favourite porridge and insisted i take his cough medicine it would make me feel better. he says i look so mad he didnt dare to go near me. after sometime i really couldnt finish the porridge he bought he asked me if i could sit beside him. he then grabbed me and gave me a kiss on my cheek. i turned away from him. when he held onto me so tight again i couldnt resist hugging him back. it felt really comforting to lean on him quietly, it has been so long since i felt that comfort. someone said i m playing victim here. perhaps. i only have myself to blame for not being determined enough and succumbing to my emotions.
i am not sure what to do again. some part of me wished he never appeared ytd n it would b much easier to convince myself give up on him yet the other part of me is glad he still cared so much for me. i dunno wat to expect anymore. we agreed to talk after we got well.
i guess the only tangible thing to b sure of now is whether my money's back. bout time that cheque cleared, i m gona go check now ba.
Kuri, have u ever asked yourself why do u love him this much?
Is it bcos he appeared at the time when you were most vulnerable and showered you with the attention, made u feel that u have found a shoulder to lean on, someone to love you?
Any vulnerable girl would fall for this trap.
Up till now, you should have seen his true colours liao.
Suka suka sms u, suka suka give u cold shoulder or dun hear from him at all, sometimes sweet, sometimes unpredictable.. do u think he really cares about you?
Correct me if I'm wrong.. but I think, if a guy is in need of money, his gf will be the last one he turn to. He took away all your savings, and did he return?
He knows you are being controlled by him. If you allow yourself to fall any deeper, no one can help you.
Any guy can be sweet and loving if he wants to, even if the girl is not someone he loves. Like what a forumite mentioned, it's effortless. Sometimes even your own feelings may deceive you.
Have you met his parents? Has he met your parents or friends? And what do they say about your bf? -
i m not just after physical comfort and that follows of course not physical comfort that any guy offers. i wasnt much of a physical person. i used to hav a very limited acceptable scope for physical display of affection. in my last relationship my ex couldnt even kiss with me. hence one could guess i need to adjust rather drastically to a guy who finds just no sex as lack of emotional affirmation even tho i m still adamant on the bottomline bout keeping my chastity. to him he felt that he had to adjust just as drastically to accomodate to me. and he felt that all our problems stem from the fact that we are two head strong characters i.e. he finds me too domineering.Originally posted by freestyle:I start to think for the girl. And not myself. Thats when i realised i was wrong. I realised that i didnt loved her. And its nt going to be fair to her and the r/s.
But that aside, perhaps something u could think about to get u to move on is the fact that he is not GENUINE about this r/s. Trust me this once, i was in your bf's shoes i know exactly what he is thinking. Manipulate and manipulate till he get what he wants. His acts may seem to you that he is true, but let me tell you doing all those stuff is effortless. You shldnt let momentarily happiness foil your permanent happiness. Feeling of being hugged and kissed, any guy can give it to you. Im sure you would want it from someone who is sincere about you. Btw is the money in?
at times i can understand that it's cos i like to reason things out like deconstruct his inconsistent behaviours and explain the need for us to share a common communication model; the rest of the times it's things like he likes to hav plans which affect me without telling me and he does things like tell me i m to meet him lets say tmr or a few days later but doesnt tell me where n where even on the actual day n expects me to be waiting ard till the time comes which i almost never know when. like what happened on tuesday was he told me to meet him at a specific place at 1pm that day on mon night yet when the time comes n he doesnt appear he asked why didnt i call him first before going out. in the end as u all know at 7+pm he smsed me to tell me to go home first. most of the times it's he'll tell me to wait at home then i end up wasting the whole day away waiting for news from him and sometimes it turns out that he cant meet me at all. it's really frustrating for me to plan my schedule and i confronted him bout it i told him that i hav a life too. he likes to send me smses upon smses whenever there's a problem and wouldnt pick up when i call to talk properly. he interprets such as i m trying to take charge of him etc which i dun understand why.
i m not sure it's just an issue over dominance as he thinks it is. it's more like some fundamental problem over basic understandings and value systems. which is why it's so difficult for me to sort things out for good with him no matter how hard i tried.
my head's having a split now.Originally posted by Bontakun:What do you want to do with regards to your relationship with him as of now?
want to break up i dun know how to. even as he called me just now i couldnt conceal my happiness to hear his voice.
want to straighten things out i dun know how to either. there are too many things to begin with. -
how come i read liao...like nth to do with topic....i blur alr..
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topic has evolved with ts' changing circumstances...Originally posted by ermintham:how come i read liao...like nth to do with topic....i blur alr.. *zonked* -
oh ok
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kuri, the money. is it in?
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i dont think so. i would put my money in. Anyone wanna bet with me?Originally posted by freestyle:kuri, the money. is it in? -
A guy... a man... same right?Originally posted by browniebaobao:see my profile, im a man.
So I "thought" correctly mah?