Is chastity still valued?
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Dont ever fell prey to him. Once you let him touch here touch there, he will ask for more. And then you realise he doesnt value you much anymore while you stick to him like a glue.
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Really?Originally posted by HyuugaNeji:Dont ever fell prey to him. Once you let him touch here touch there, he will ask for more. And then you realise he doesnt value you much anymore while you stick to him like a glue.
You meet all the wrong men and the problem might lie with you 
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I resisted so much the urge to say: "I told you so!" but I gave in to temptations easily, so now I say to you: "I told you so!"Originally posted by kuri:spent a night with him.was our planned 'romantic getaway'. wanted to spend a blissful time with him and also wanted to be assured he could play by my rules after i alr made my grounds very clear bout intimacy, wanted him to be able to feel closer and being loved without sex(at the same time subconsciously part of the re-education plan bout love&sex or love=sex perhaps). having survived that lovingly despite a few hiccups increases my confidence in our relationship. tho frankly speaking i know that i shouldnt try it too often.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap: 22 February 2007 · 11:18 AMBut the b/f is willing to continue with the relationship. That would mean that he is willing to be her b/f and not have sex until marriage. That is a good boyfriend right? He thinks it is moral crap but willingly continue the relationship! What a nice guy.
so to all those that criticised me and all those that said he was a bad guy and that she should dump him? Neh neh neh neh poo poo!Originally posted by AndrewPKYap: 22 February 2007 · 11:43 AMIt is her body and she can always say no. This is what is happening right now. When she is married and he wants, she can also say no, not because of any moral concerns but because she has a headache.
She will be saying NO to many things as well and if he is the kind that can take no for an answer, he is a good guy. He will give up "pushing for sex or persuading" sooner or later if he knows she is firm.
Just a note of caution to TS... if he breaks up with you later on, don't automatically jump to the conclusion that it is because you did not sleep with him... remember also that people change and you will change too... LIFE IS NOT SO SIMPLE
But then again, A SIMPLE LIFE IS THE BEST... if it is possible. -
If you notice everyone targets you, the problem might lie with you too.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Really? You meet all the wrong men and the problem might lie with you -
Life is not so simple. Of course i wish that the present situation persists and improves. However, one incident is not representative of the situation in the long run.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:so to all those that criticised me and all those that said he was a bad guy and that she should dump him? Neh neh neh neh poo poo!
Just a note of caution to TS... if he breaks up with you later on, don't automatically jump to the conclusion that it is because you did not sleep with him... remember also that people change and you will change too... LIFE IS NOT SO SIMPLE
But then again, A SIMPLE LIFE IS THE BEST... if it is possible.
Life is not so simple! -
I thought you said you don't want to talk to me anymore? What happened?Originally posted by blu_sky:If you notice everyone targets you, the problem might lie with you too!
am I starting to make a "tweeny bit of sense" or are you coming to your senses?Originally posted by blu_sky:22 February 2007 · 07:44 PMAnd, you cant read. i dun see a point in replying to your future post anymore, unless they make a tweeny bit of sense.
You remind me of a forumite who got banned.
Last reply to your irresponsible posts. -
I said i dun talk to you anymore unless you make a tweeny bit of sense. Oh god! you really cant read!Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:am I starting to make a "tweeny bit of sense" or are you coming to your senses? -
From the way I see... It's either both of you have a way to negotiate or 'give in' to the other party's principle or point of view which would make this relationship last long enough... Else, it would just be too difficult with quarrels and tiffs...? Unless you're telling me those 'tiffs' really ain't that serious on basis...? Then maybe it's still not that bad to let time 'pass along'...?Originally posted by kuri:been seeing each other for bout 2 months plus..been officially together for like 3 weeks?the problem was his thinking that if he makes love to me i'll b his forever,sex is a big part of love,after 3 yrs into a relationship sex=love etc.
u see why i feel rather uncertain and scared sometimes?i just dun wan to hav intimacy for the sake of having intimacy or "proving love".yes i believe he loves me but i cant b that sure we'll work out. true i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse,it is half of the reason why i will remain firm on my stand and the other half of my reason is for my own emotional security.for to me if i were to lose my virginity it's not so much smt physical but more emotional.
there are a set of expectations brought over from his previous 7-year long relationship which i beg to differ with.took me some time to adjust his thinking that he has had sex with his ex after they met for 2 weeks n they lasted 7 years he's always been faithful he's serious not a player so he sees no reason why sex shouldnt be part of the equation in this relationship.
The other alternative standpoint would be unless both of you get married... But then again, I would have to question what's really the purpose of the marriage itself...? For love? Or just to 'prove' something else...?
I must say.. It's quite normal of you to feel much insecured... Only 2 months plus and he's trying to tell you it would be 'forever'...? Not trying to belittle what's really coming between the 2 of you... But from the way I personally see it... It could be... 1. He's just saying things for the sake of saying it... 2. He's too terribly emerged into something, and would likely be wearing off that amplitude of feeling one day... 3. His own form of insecurity... Likely to be emotional baggage carried forward from his previous relationship(s).
By the way, I think you really need to explain things to him...? He's really having this terrible delusion...? Having sex = you'll be his forever? In terms of what...? Body..? Soul..? Heart..? Well.. Sad to say, it's not gonna work for any of the mentioned... A simple thing to prove his 'hypothesis' wrong would be his previous relationships... He had sex with his ex-gfs right? So where are them now?
Straighten his thoughts... Tell him not to go for a relationship on a delusioned mind... It's gonna be a VERY DANGEROUS MOVE... If he's sincere enough to care for the real future of the relationship that is?
Ok. I see your point about your 'preservance'. I won't comment much as to whether it's a 'good' move or not as I believe 'to each their own'.... But my personal belief related to your point is... I don't think love needs to be 'proven'... But rather, love would prove itself... Requiring something else to 'prove' a 'love' can just be pathetic... The 'test' to prive anything itself is already likely to be saying that insufficient love is there by itself...
One basic thing to learn in a relationship is to learn to RESPECT the other party... Especially if that 'something' is so much precious to one of the parties...
Tell him to drop his past please.. You are YOU and NOT his EX... If he seriously think he's likely to be SO MUCH MORE BETTER OFF with someone who has closer resemblance to his ex... Then let him understand that the person's not likely to be you... Painful though it might be. But nonetheless an undeniable fact which is not meant to be hidden.... -
If you're really sticking to your policy, then you can bet you're quite right on this point.Originally posted by kuri:spent a night with him.was our planned 'romantic getaway'. wanted to spend a blissful time with him and also wanted to be assured he could play by my rules after i alr made my grounds very clear bout intimacy, wanted him to be able to feel closer and being loved without sex(at the same time subconsciously part of the re-education plan bout love&sex or love=sex perhaps). having survived that lovingly despite a few hiccups increases my confidence in our relationship. tho frankly speaking i know that i shouldnt try it too often.
Also, you might be giving him the wrong idea... If not.. More 'excuses' and frustrations as to why you're 'rejecting' him in the future...?
Good luck? -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:am I starting to make a "tweeny bit of sense" or are you coming to your senses?
CHILL people..Originally posted by blu_sky:I said i dun talk to you anymore unless you make a tweeny bit of sense. Oh god! you really cant read!
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Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Really? You meet all the wrong men and the problem might lie with you
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juz those moves u suggested are enough to arouse a man.Originally posted by Devil1976:Note again! Like I've mentioned, these are not intimacy moves!
GO PUBLIC and it'll be SAFER!
my first love gets 'ahem' juz by hugging...even if it's in public, so wat? -
Ya.. it seems that he's very possessive and have this mindset that she will be his after doing it. Also to make her think that he wun walk out on her after that?Originally posted by Devil1976:By the way, I think you really need to explain things to him...? He's really having this terrible delusion...? Having sex = you'll be his forever? In terms of what...? Body..? Soul..? Heart..? Well.. Sad to say, it's not gonna work for any of the mentioned... A simple thing to prove his 'hypothesis' wrong would be his previous relationships... He had sex with his ex-gfs right? So where are them now?I don't think love needs to be 'proven'... But rather, love would prove itself... Requiring something else to 'prove' a 'love' can just be pathetic... The 'test' to prive anything itself is already likely to be saying that insufficient love is there by itself.. One basic thing to learn in a relationship is to learn to RESPECT the other party... Especially if that 'something' is so much precious to one of the parties...
x2.Tell him to drop his past please.. You are YOU and NOT his EX... If he seriously think he's likely to be SO MUCH MORE BETTER OFF with someone who has closer resemblance to his ex... Then let him understand that the person's not likely to be you... Painful though it might be. But nonetheless an undeniable fact which is not meant to be hidden....
EX EX EX..
Ask him go back to her/them la.
wtf. -
so, no matter how 'ahem' you two are, you will get arrested if you do it openly in public.Originally posted by browniebaobao:juz those moves u suggested are enough to arouse a man.
my first love gets 'ahem' juz by hugging...even if it's in public, so wat? -
in this kinda of BGR thingy, i hate it when either BF or GF likes to compare with their EX. i heard stories from some of my friends how their bf/gf likes to compare things between current relationship & their EX.
for example, she/he likes to compare wad their EX had done to them den will ask u why u didnt like them or like this. OR how nice they are to them & why don u do the same to her/him.
to have a better relationship, its good to let go of ur past. DON'T compare, it will make things worst. for me personally, i don give a damn.
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x2.Originally posted by bonnybear:in this kinda of BGR thingy, i hate it when either BF or GF likes to compare with their EX. i heard stories from some of my friends how their bf/gf likes to compare things between current relationship & their EX.
for example, she/he likes to compare wad their EX had done to them den will ask u why u didnt like them or like this. OR how nice they are to them & why don u do the same to her/him.
to have a better relationship, its good to let go of ur past. DON'T compare, it will make things worst. for me personally, i don give a damn. -
Yes... The answer is 'so what'.....? It's still in PUBLIC... How FAR do you think he can go if you're surrounded by CROWDS and not cooperative to his whatever suggestions...?Originally posted by browniebaobao:juz those moves u suggested are enough to arouse a man.
my first love gets 'ahem' juz by hugging...even if it's in public, so wat?
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ahem but still cannot do anything much ma...Originally posted by browniebaobao:juz those moves u suggested are enough to arouse a man.
my first love gets 'ahem' juz by hugging...even if it's in public, so wat? -
to some sense I agree.. but i think it all depends on person.. case by case basicOriginally posted by HyuugaNeji:Dont ever fell prey to him. Once you let him touch here touch there, he will ask for more. And then you realise he doesnt value you much anymore while you stick to him like a glue.
some guys dump u once they get u
some will treasure u even they dont get u -
If you're not going to have sex, then don't start something you can't finish. You're just a tease making it difficult for him.
Affectionate, yes. Deliberately arousing, no. -
It is very hard to blame the tiger yearning for meat, when you keep dangling a piece of beef or pork in his sight.Originally posted by choco B:If you're not going to have sex, then don't start something you can't finish. You're just a tease making it difficult for him.
Affectionate, yes. Deliberately arousing, no. -
Basically i think the focus of this topic was lost somewhere when posters based their discussion about the 'Tiger' rather than how Threadstarter is truly facing the situation.
Some thoughts for people here.
Cheers -
do wat?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:so, no matter how 'ahem' you two are, you will get arrested if you do it openly in public.
i only said hugging. -
ehh i ever saw a couple rolling on the grass before leh..Originally posted by Devil1976:Yes... The answer is 'so what'.....? It's still in PUBLIC... How FAR do you think he can go if you're surrounded by CROWDS and not cooperative to his whatever suggestions...?
and there were other 10 couples on their left and right. -
he din dare also.Originally posted by rainee:ahem but still cannot do anything much ma...
he knew no matter how ahem he is, he still respect me coz I ever told him no matter how deep i love him, i'm not agreeable to doing that act with him de lor.