Not ready...
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dude... do not wait for her.. what happened to you happened to me, if you feel you are feeling miserable now, you will feel even worse after the two years.. and you will find it very hard to pull yourself out of your sorrow because you have spent so much time for her, investing so much time for her while things remains the same for the both of u.
i confessed to the gal(1 yr younger than me) i like before when i was in j2 and she said she wasnt ready aso. I didnt push her and decided to wait for until her 'A's is over while i'm in NS. The wait itself is already very miserable, but the real torture comes after your wait.
U would naturally expect more from her since you invested so much for her. When her 'A's is over, you will try to commit even more effort and time with her to make up for the lost time. And you would naturally expect even more from her due to this. You will find yourself growing dependent on her replies and her attention because you have been deprived of it for so long. Soon, you'll find yourself becoming more and more needy. And soon you'll find her getting further and further away from you.
Besides that, you have already committed yourself emotionally that she's the perfect one for you. Once you have that emotional commitment, you will be blinded and not be able to see clearly her character and her flaws, because everything about her will be flawless to you. and when that happens, you will not be able to understand her clearly, and she will tell you again that the two of you r still not ready to be in a relationship becuase she finds you do not know her well enough.
Furthermore, the your fear of losing this friendship will amplify because you have invested so much in it. And with fear, you will not be able to completely be yourself and let her see the real you because you will do things out of fear of losing her and not because that's just you. That will also create problems.
I do not wish to see history repeats itself.. do not follow in my footstep. i'm still trying to move on after my third confession to her after her 'A's. And her reply is still i dono.. which makes it even harder for me to move on.
DO NOT wait for her. Wash off all your thoughts that she's the perfect one for you. Don't fear losing her. You can still keep in contact with her and be her friend, and she will be yours if she's meant to be yours.. hai.. sad.. -
Could mean quite alot of different things... Personal advice for you is not to crack your head too much over the limited information you're holding..Originally posted by Lovelorn?:Hey guys, I need your help in interpreting this message from her. She doesn't want me to wait 2 years(because of her A levels) for her because it is too long. She wants me to look around instead.
What does that mean? Does that mean she cannot foresee herself being with me??? -
i am fcuking sick and tired of letting education come in between a relationship.
really sick and tired. fcuk.
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Uhm, yes. She's not interested in you. Give her up.Originally posted by Lovelorn?:Does that mean she cannot foresee herself being with me???
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Hmm..from what i see it would rather be adviceable for you to move on.
I waited for a guy for 2 years well up till now we are still friends.
Don't wait you may pick a beautiful flower some day. -
1) she does NOT love you!Originally posted by Lovelorn?:Hey guys, I need your help in interpreting this message from her. She doesn't want me to wait 2 years(because of her A levels) for her because it is too long. She wants me to look around instead.
What does that mean? Does that mean she cannot foresee herself being with me???
2) Ask you to give up.
3) If you doubt my words then let me ask this, if you love someone will u ask the girl to look around instead?
4) No point foreseeing anything cos since you are not able to earn you keep so why borther asking ? Study hard and work hard
money will come and gals will come to you. -
Hey guys, I have another question to ask you all.
I asked her whether she wanted to meet up with me 1 last time next weekend before I go in for BMT in April. She kept quiet and didn't give me a reply. But just today, I found out from her nickname over MSN that she is organising a chalet with her 1st 3 months friends. This is not the first time she has turned me down(not that she has said anything yet), but I feel terribly hurt. I'm going in for NS soon & she doesn't want to meet up with me for the last time. And she wants to have a chalet with her same group of friends again? The reason why I said "again" is that she recently had a chalet during her holidays a few weeks ago with that same particular group of friends. I gave her my assurance that we'll just be meeting up as good friends, nothing else. So why is she still avoiding me? (We have not gone out since I confessed to her...) She can spend 2 days with her group of friends that she just met up with 2 weeks ago but she spend 1 day with me, someone whom she has not seen for a month. I feel that she is not respecting me as a friend at all!
These feelings are what I'm experiencing currently. Can you guys tell me if is she really trying to make me give up on her by avoiding face-to-face contact with me? And can you guys also tell me whether am I starting to sound like I'm being selfish and obsessed with her? I can take the criticism but I just want to know your take on this... Thanks! -
yes she is trying super hard to make u give up on her.Originally posted by Lovelorn?:Hey guys, I have another question to ask you all.
I asked her whether she wanted to meet up with me 1 last time next weekend before I go in for BMT in April. She kept quiet and didn't give me a reply. But just today, I found out from her nickname over MSN that she is organising a chalet with her 1st 3 months friends. This is not the first time she has turned me down(not that she has said anything yet), but I feel terribly hurt. I'm going in for NS soon & she doesn't want to meet up with me for the last time. And she wants to have a chalet with her same group of friends again? The reason why I said "again" is that she recently had a chalet during her holidays a few weeks ago with that same particular group of friends. I gave her my assurance that we'll just be meeting up as good friends, nothing else. So why is she still avoiding me? (We have not gone out since I confessed to her...) She can spend 2 days with her group of friends that she just met up with 2 weeks ago but she spend 1 day with me, someone whom she has not seen for a month. I feel that she is not respecting me as a friend at all!
These feelings are what I'm experiencing currently. Can you guys tell me if is she really trying to make me give up on her by avoiding face-to-face contact with me? And can you guys also tell me whether am I starting to sound like I'm being selfish and obsessed with her? I can take the criticism but I just want to know your take on this... Thanks!
yes you are very very selfish and obsessed with her.
but was the point of telling you this when you will still repeat the same thing again and again.
Honestly do you really want her to tell you straight in the face she hate you then you will let go? OR kena slap in the face?
I was like you once, I keep pestering a girl until she got so fed up with me that she slap me.
Until this day the girl still hates me for pestering her ever after say so many sorries..
Bro learn from me. Is better to let go than to wait till the day the girl hates only to regret your actions. -
Don't mind me being straightforward and frank here...?Originally posted by Lovelorn?:Hey guys, I have another question to ask you all.
I asked her whether she wanted to meet up with me 1 last time next weekend before I go in for BMT in April. She kept quiet and didn't give me a reply. But just today, I found out from her nickname over MSN that she is organising a chalet with her 1st 3 months friends. This is not the first time she has turned me down(not that she has said anything yet), but I feel terribly hurt. I'm going in for NS soon & she doesn't want to meet up with me for the last time. And she wants to have a chalet with her same group of friends again? The reason why I said "again" is that she recently had a chalet during her holidays a few weeks ago with that same particular group of friends. I gave her my assurance that we'll just be meeting up as good friends, nothing else. So why is she still avoiding me? (We have not gone out since I confessed to her...) She can spend 2 days with her group of friends that she just met up with 2 weeks ago but she spend 1 day with me, someone whom she has not seen for a month. I feel that she is not respecting me as a friend at all!
These feelings are what I'm experiencing currently. Can you guys tell me if is she really trying to make me give up on her by avoiding face-to-face contact with me? And can you guys also tell me whether am I starting to sound like I'm being selfish and obsessed with her? I can take the criticism but I just want to know your take on this... Thanks!
In my own opinion, I think you're taking it too personally and is somehow being too 'calculative'....? Imagine you're not in a relationship with her and you're already doing that....? And she's not even your gf or anything.... I seriously don't see why she can't choose to run her own life the way she would like to, especially when she has no obligation with you.....? -
I guess you are right. She's not even my girlfriend and yet I'm getting so obsessed with her and uptight about the whole darn matter. Thanks for bringing me back to Earth.Originally posted by Devil1976:Don't mind me being straightforward and frank here...?
In my own opinion, I think you're taking it too personally and is somehow being too 'calculative'....? Imagine you're not in a relationship with her and you're already doing that....? And she's not even your gf or anything.... I seriously don't see why she can't choose to run her own life the way she would like to, especially when she has no obligation with you.....?
And I've decided that I'm no longer going to wait for her because I can sense that she obviously has no interest in me. So I will try to cut off all contact and maintain a distance from her. The only problem is putting my words into action. Any suggestions, guys? -
my 1 cent view
"I think I get what u trying to say, are we still friends
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think she will get what u trying to say, make it simple..... dan dao zi ru -
I think it's alot of your own discipline and determination. And it should be ALOT EASIER when you're TRULY CONVINCED that she really has no interest in you and you've no point to hang on at all....Originally posted by Lovelorn?:I guess you are right. She's not even my girlfriend and yet I'm getting so obsessed with her and uptight about the whole darn matter. Thanks for bringing me back to Earth.
And I've decided that I'm no longer going to wait for her because I can sense that she obviously has no interest in me. So I will try to cut off all contact and maintain a distance from her. The only problem is putting my words into action. Any suggestions, guys?