My heart aches like hell...
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Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.
But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..
Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..
I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs*
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i dreamt of my ex, just a while ago
and i feel nothing
so
move on
there are many flowers out there for you to choose from,
don't burn the whole forest for the sake of a flower
dwelling on the past, will not bring here back
most importantly, you have learnt something from this relationship (i hope you did learn something)
maybe what she needs a man, not a guy that she need to babysit, no offence to you, TS -
Time heals all wounds. Just stay strong and move on!
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Sorry for my whining.. i know there are a thousand threads like this but it makes me feel betterOriginally posted by allentyb:
i dreamt of my ex, just a while ago
and i feel nothing
so
move on
there are many flowers out there for you to choose from,
don't burn the whole forest for the sake of a flower
dwelling on the past, will not bring here back
most importantly, you have learnt something from this relationship (i hope you did learn something)
maybe what she needs a man, not a guy that she need to babysit, no offence to you, TS
Guess i have to face the harsh truth.. and learn to pick myself up from the garbage -
its ok that you whine, i didn't mention that its wrong to whineOriginally posted by Kens-:Sorry for my whining.. i know there are a thousand threads like this but it makes me feel better
Guess i have to face the harsh truth.. and learn to pick myself up from the garbage
just that, as long you learn something from this relationship and mature from it, and you will know what type of woman, you want to look for,
i don't know what has happen between you and your ex and i am not here to judge you, simply you have to understand your priority in life,
well, think about it this way, she(your ex) ain't worth your time, there is someone out there who is much more better than her
so i personally dwell on my past (my breakup) for one year, and learn to crawl out of this depression
i am sure, one day, you will meet someone who can be deem worthy of your time.
Love thy self -
Try to tell her how u feel right now, make her understand how important she is in yr life. U r in a state of depression and it only made u stronger and realise losing someone is so hurting.
She may not meant to hurt u but maybe she don't want u to waste time on her, cos she afraid that she had neglected u. Try to communicate face to face rather over the phone or send her an email in this hour and that's what I just did with 3 long email and its works, if she really touch by your sincerity she may tell u the truth what she is thinking. -
We all go through this sort of things one time or another. Dream about your next better gf and then go out and look for her!Originally posted by Kens-:Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.
But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..
Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..
I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs* -
Jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai......... Every summer surely has its fall......
This may be your first heartache but take heart, you are the better for it than without and in any case, it probably won't be your last......... Ur probably still very young. Bide your time lah.......!
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btw do you want to end up as the bf in this story below?Originally posted by Kens-:Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.
But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..
Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..
I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs*
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He knows, he found out about a week ago. I wish we could be more than friends but the thing is...I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and he's in love with another girl who doesn't love him. I know i have to faithful to my boyfriend which is not hard at the moment since the guy i'm in love with doesn't love me, but i'm afraid that in the future when he gets over his current love things will be more complicated. We had a chance to become a couple long time ago but he let it slip away. Now i keep thinking what could have been. I try to support my boyfriend and give him as much love as he's given me over the past couple of years but my heart's not 100% in it. Every now and then i start thinking about my friend...How can i get over him?
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Trust me you are lucky to have a kind gf who tells you that she no longer love you and have a clean break with you. Imagine in the story above the girl is dragging the whole relationship and is harming her bf.
Learn this wel,l a breakup can change a person to be a stronger person or make a person weaker. Is all up to you. Work hard, earn more, in time you will be the mature bf of someone else. Do not show that you need her to go on with life. Since she has break up with you, act like a man and work harder. -
time will not let u forget the painOriginally posted by Quinsy:Time heals all wounds. Just stay strong and move on!
time will only let u get used to the pain -
The way I see it... It would be a garbage which stinks even more if you let it drag on till she just can't stand it anymore and do a 'confession' on you at a much later stage... Or worse still.. After she've got herself a bf?Originally posted by Kens-:Sorry for my whining.. i know there are a thousand threads like this but it makes me feel better
Guess i have to face the harsh truth.. and learn to pick myself up from the garbage
Don't dwell on the past anymore as they're already part of the history.. And as much as I know it's certainly easier said than done, it doesn't mean you couldn't do it.... In fact, ask many people who used to hang around AA with their problems and how they're feeling now... I can almost assure you, it could be done... Unless you don't allow yourself to...
Make more friends and if possible, invest on a handful of closer ones... As you've said you've got no pillar except her... It could be quite a 'dangerous' scenerio as you can probably see for now... Reorganise your life...
About 'maturity', is what she said true...? If it's not really that, then you shouldn't really be bother by her words as they're probably just excuses... If they do mean something, perhaps you might like to work a little on 'maturity' at the same time...?
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Double.
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Originally posted by Kens-:Its a pity my first post has to be like this.. Recently I tried to jio my ex back..we had been together for 2 yrs but we separated 'temporarily' a few months ago because she was really busy working and studying part time and couldnt commit to the relationship.. i understand that.. and it didnt really affect me badly at that time.
But yesterday she told me over the phone to forget about her coz she claims that we have different thinking and she wants somebody who is more 'mature'. I nv felt so heart-broken in my life.. the working environment must have warped her adolescent mindset..
Its so painful to see someone u love deeply dump u while she seeks better opportunites elsewhere. I look back on all the good times we've had and realising that we'll never experience those again hurts me deeply. We had such a strong relationship.. everytime we had problems we will not let it linger. I seriously cant believe that all of it has to end like this because she changed..
I know i have to move on but i do not know how long it will take for me to recover. Yesterday i just dreamt of her.. Emptiness consume me everytime wen im alone and i cant help but cry utterly when my mind wanders off to an image of her face. Knowing the fact that she wants someone better has also led me to think that i am inferior. She was my only confidant.. and now that she is gone i dunno what to do.. Im so confuse.. i do not wish to harp on this anymore.. Sobs*
I see this as a transition - the working world did not warped her mindset; more likely, it served as a catalysis to instil courage for her to leave the relationship. Likely, she already had thoughts of leaving the relationship - though reasoning is around, courage to translate reasoning into action is missing.
Having to spent some time, without your presence, cleared her doubts and gave her the courage to act.
If you desire to constrain a woman inside a 'closed environment', so that you can preserve that 'adolescent mindset' forever, strangely, is that even love in the first? The minute your girlfriend tasted freedom outside, she fled faster than you could say 'please don't go.'
Chances are, she stayed on because of reasons OTHER than Love.
The minute any man and woman abolish freedom and liberty in their relationship, it becomes an effect of insecurity - not love. And this usually have various degree of adverse effect, depending on how intense the implementation is.
You are so affected because she is your ONLY confidant. This over dependency on your mate will likely to affect the process of your relationship and also slow the recovery of your emotional injuries inflicted.
Real love is when he/she have other choices and still choose you... and NOT because he/she have no other choice except you.
Cheers -
Move on. She doesn't want you to be part of her life again. Do things that will help you forget about her like getting yourself a new hobby or something.
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Then u should 4 get about her lo.....concentrate on ur studies instead.....after that concentrate on ur career...next time when u rich and successful, u have lots of other choices.......tian wu jue ren zhi lu....
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*pat pat TS*
sometimes it is like that, if it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be.
you can't force someone to love you.
forget about her bah.
you will find the one for you. -
*sayang*
u r not alone.
its natural to feel the pain bcoz we are human.
time will heal ur wound. learn from it and work at it.
smile. ur rainbow waiting for u at the other side of the field. -
say she cannot commit was only an excuse.
her heart is no longer with u.
it's not the environment that changed her, if she wants to change, she will. -
e only thing that remains constant is change...doen't matter if e change is for e better or for worse
people may change to "survive"...but ironically it's e outsiders who formulates whether its been a successful change
wish her well for being gutsy to actively seek change...threadstarter, if you really like her you can't just stay stagnant
you may have to be prepared to embrace her change and adopt some changes yourself to forge ahead with her -
All of your replies have been really helpful.. thanks
I was hoping maybe we could get back together in the future.. but i tink i shouldnt lie to myself n push my hopes to high.. whatever comes i will embrace..n i will try to learn something from the experience and at the same time upgrade myself if i have to. -
just wondering.Originally posted by Kens-:All of your replies have been really helpful.. thanks
I was hoping maybe we could get back together in the future.. but i tink i shouldnt lie to myself n push my hopes to high.. whatever comes i will embrace..n i will try to learn something from the experience and at the same time upgrade myself if i have to.
frankly were you hoping for us to give u replies like,"oh you should go ahead and get her back","try to woo her again" and all those kinds of replies? -
noo please dont get the wrong idea.. it is impossible to woo her back now.. I just have to let everything cool down..Originally posted by R3SsH|n:just wondering.
frankly were you hoping for us to give u replies like,"oh you should go ahead and get her back","try to woo her again" and all those kinds of replies?
If thats the case i would have posted smwer else.. but im posting here because i have nobody to confide in.. i hope ur're not being sarcastic.. i really appreciate the replies i got. -
oh you are just sharing la.okie, go ahead then.Originally posted by Kens-:noo please dont get the wrong idea.. it is impossible to woo her back now.. I just have to let everything cool down..
If thats the case i would have posted smwer else.. but im posting here because i have nobody to confide in.. i hope ur're not being sarcastic.. i really appreciate the replies i got.
actually i do like to be sarcastic.lol. but no in this situation la. -
Cheer up.
There's more to life