I think only Dev's comments make me confused abit. The rest I can feel your pain. I can never understand what you all went through or how you feel, but trust me, I feel your pain.
Originally posted by DriftingGuy:
How to cry without being labelled as a wuss
Originally posted by xShevchenkox:
hmm actually there is a proverb says "guys can bleed, but cannot cry", l tink is rubbish lor...
who says guys cnt cry...sad den cry lo, better than bottling up in the heart, more worse
You know, after reading a few more posts I see a pattern.
Crying out of fear. Fear of crying. Cannot even cry. No reason to cry. Nothing to cry for. Too tired to cry. Mixture of emotions when crying. The lists go on...
I too have never cried for a long time. Not since childhood. When I was young, to think a guy like me would even contemplate crying is like a crybaby, a wuss, a weakling. I was so proud, so egoistic and 'manly' that crying to me at that time is more for the girls.
What pain I had, I bottled up or I vent it out. I retreated back to my own 'world' and seek sanctuary there. Video gaming is a good place to retreat to. Nothing to think about except where to level, how to kill the enemies, planning what to do next. Yet somehow, I have to get back to reality and face the music.
I went for martial arts classes in my poly times to learn self-defence and become more 'protected' so I will not be afraid of any threats or bullying. I was able to use a punching bag to vent out any fustrations I had. Blow after blow, anger and hatred fueled every punch and kick I can produce. Anger it seems, is my source of strength... and hurt.
For a period of time, I though I never had any pain or sorrow in me. Life was good and smooth flowing. I was 'groomed' in such a way that I dismiss any negative notions aimed at me. Not even when I enter NS. Sure its physically tiring and mentally stressing, but it never got the better of me because like many other NS chaps, my goal is to countdown to the last day and exit NS.
For a long time I had liked a few decent girls in my life. I never came to admit I had interest in them for I was timid. Its only when I was able to muster the courage to do so, its either too late or too bad. Tough luck. 7 years of 'loneliness' and agonising pain gnawing at me. 7 years ever since I know what is crush, liking and BGR. After that 7 years I grew tired of it. Too tired to talk about it. Too tired to even shed a single tear which cannot even express the feelings I had accumulated over the years. Tough luck.
The biggest bomb drop, however, was the 2 years I spent after NS. I will not go into details but its this way: I went into denial. I lost contact with all my friends. I kept myself alone and ignored my family too. No sense of pain, guilt, anxiety. I cannot even feel self-denial at that time. Crying? Hahahaha... that was the last thing on my mind.
Looking back at the time I have never cried. 14 long years. 14 years of my life I lived up as a 'man' man. Crying is for wuss, remember? Boy, how is that going to hit me like needles shooting at me from hands, feet to arms, legs to body and head.
I have never known how much pent up fustrations, disappointments, regrets, sorrows, indignities, pains I had all these years. It was there all along. Waiting for one fine day to whack me like 'a revenge plot taking 10 years for a gentleman'. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. Apparently I was not. I did not know how to cry. I do not want to cry. It was not reason enough for me to cry anyway but I did shed one tear.
That tear made me a Christian. That single drop opened my heart even more to the people around me, especially to Him. That single drop was the first of many to come and to think I gave all my pain and sorrow to Him. Guess I was wrong. I never really opened up 100% to Him.
I cried alot recently. I do not know why or where all these feelings came from. I only know I did not cry enough because I still feel a nagging feeling of pain and dense emotions. I do cry for other people around me too. I know too well how everyone felt when we all try to survive in this cruel world that we humans made for ourselves.
Originally posted by RaTtY8l:
because we are human afterall...
Ratty's quote precisely explained why we cry.
We are only human. We are not omni beings. Even Superman has his fair share of pain and sorrow. We are helpless all the time. No control over what we can do or feel. No idea what is going to happen next. Not even a clue what can we really go and do about it.
I do not know how you guys and gals are going to face your inner demons. Maybe you can cry all you want to let it go. I know what I will do with regards to crying. Maybe I am being emotional. Possibly because I cry alot when I was a kid. A crying boy who react instantly to what ever discomfort and negative feelings that hit home in him.
Simply cry.
den his siblings always like to bully him cuz he keeps crying with the slightest provocation.