help... advice needed
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Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....
My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='( -
Please summarise the whole thing, or at least...... don't have to explain in great details
even i tried to scan through your article, it reminds me of reading strait times article -
Originally posted by jeraldine!:Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped...Go read the full story here...
xxx
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(
I would suggest you post your problem here, copy and paste what you need to say instead of exposing your blog with your pics and stuff.
P.S: Edit away your post if you reckon that I make sense.
Cheers -
he dunwan to lose u ma
do something to make him sure that you'll be loyal to him.
a guy always wants something in return u know. -
Originally posted by jeraldine!:Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....
My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='( You sure all the qualities you have listed in your man is something exclusive only to him and devoid in most other man?
*** Your man is a classic MCP example; brandished with a gnawing inferior complex and expect his woman to be beneath him in all aspects. True enough, typical MCP guys have positive qualities like unwavering loyalty and some 'overly caring' personality (read possessiveness), but they can't comprehend the concept of trust, freedom and power equality.
In fact, as long as certain events are not within their span of control, the suspicion gets into them instantaneously.
It doesn't matter if it was the truth or not - his perceived state of mind is the inexorably truth he so believes in - explaination is merely a red herring. It doesn't matter if your relationship is stable, his wild state of emotions belie fact from friction, listened only to his heart, which has totally been consumed by inferiority complex.
There's no logic in emotions that has been tainted by inferiority; all his actions merely fill in the void that is missing inside his esteem.
How long can you remain in a relationship without trust? If you constantly allow your reasoning of 'he's a very rare type of guy' to misrepresent your stand to remain, then you are probably better off without being with this 'very rare type of guy', because your 'rare guy' brings forth a very 'common disastrous trait' to any relationship.
In that case, 'rare' could he be?
Telling you to DRESS down because he doesn’t want you to attract attention – that’s another typical MCP method of 'ensuring security'. Crap.
If you could find him dating someone else after two weeks of breaking up, I suppose you should also be on your route to find new guys... especially man who could handle woman as his equal and not constantly looking for dumber, lesser woman in all aspects.
His fleeting love also suggested much about the depth of love he has for you.
I think the answer you seek is quite clear.
Cheers -
he has never thought of patching back with u i guess if not what's with the new girl?
move on. -
he is damn inferior - not rare at all, throw a stone on the street can hit a dozenOriginally posted by jeraldine!:My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
(
he is hallucating, u sure he is mentally ok
loyal to who??? his friends or u?
decent - do u mean he don't take advantage of u?
helpful - to gals?
gentleman - a very subjective word, why is he considered a gentleman, he pull chair for gals, hold the doors open for strangers, offer help w/o asking?
caring - from all yr words above, i really cannot see it at all
fillal - what did he do, give home allowance?
Move on!! there are plenty of guys out there that are way better than him
if he can find a gf so easily, i don't think he really that commited in yr r/s -
haha eh ur bf sounds like me at the start of my r/s...my gf oso almost everything win me sia...aiyz but i get over it la...if shes better than me than consider myself lucky loh! lol...for ur bf hes too possesive...firstly, he needs to trust u more...he feels inferior so u try to highlight the things which hes good at loh...mayb spend more time doin things which hes better at...it may boost his selfconfidence...thats if u want him back la but it might not wrk, so its still ur decisionOriginally posted by jeraldine!:Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....
My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='( -
he seriously got problem.
simi rare species? maybe u haven met many guys.
u are so gifted, will be able to find a better guy who match u or love u for wat u are.
carry on with him u will suffer and regret.
Dun be stupid. -
hmm littlefishtan! l tell u la..sumtime l tink gals must san jiao a bit to the bf..make him feel like a king..guys like gals that make them feel king..Originally posted by jeraldine!:Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....
My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
hmm littlefishtan! l tell u la..sumtime l tink gals must san jiao a bit to the bf..make him feel like a king..guys like gals that make them feel king..
How to make him feel like a king?
Praise him
Told him how good he is..how much u love him lo
Give him huggies
l do like it when my gal sa jiao to me..and my ex did fulfil the above conditions =)
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(
How to make him feel like a king?
Praise him
Told him how good he is..how much u love him lo
Give him huggies
l do like it when my gal sa jiao to me..and my ex did fulfil the above conditions =) -
hmm at least she is loyal mah..praise her for that mahOriginally posted by browniebaobao:he seriously got problem.
simi rare species? maybe u haven met many guys.
u are so gifted, will be able to find a better guy who match u or love u for wat u are.
carry on with him u will suffer and regret.
Dun be stupid.
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i think he finding a reason to dump you
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no la i used to b like that oso...n my gf oso fulfill criteriaOriginally posted by ghimpheng:i think he finding a reason to dump you
but of course now i not that possesive le la..its juz when the girl is very good, guys tend to feel inferior n scared the girl might leave -
gif up and move on.
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Dump him first... He is too processive..
anyway why u get ban? -
simply jz move on la... u still young, many other guys out there to choose... ur ex is a psycho...
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extremely loyal?Originally posted by jeraldine!:Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(
two weeks after breakup and he gets a new girl, u call that loyal?
there are other better people outside. forget about him, because he has forgotten about you too.
OOT: what happen to ur previous nick? -
dont tink he deserves to be with u. or i shld say he even worthy of u..
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I know that I may sound like an "elite" for saying this, but I really don't think he deserves you. If you continue to go for him, he's only going to pull your standards down -- and by this, I don't just mean academically. He's already asking you to dress down. He obviously doesn't like the fact that you're better than him. It's okay for him to feel uncomfortable and it's okay for him to determine his own standards in life, but he has no right to impose his own standards onto you.
Think about the future.
What will he say when you go to a better JC than him?
(yeah, I still remember that thread about RJ xP)
What will he say when you end up going to a good university?
What will he say when you get a good career?
Has it ever occured to you that he might oppose your progress?
Has it ever occured to you that he may eventually be more of a burden than a joy?
I honestly think that he's using you.
He's insecure and he's using you to give himself more self-worth.
But you're better than him and he knows it.
Now he's going out with someone he probably feels more comfortable with.
Don't run after him. I dont think he even sees your worth.
Come on, you're in sec3, right? Or is it sec4 now?
There are millions of guys out there. Just focus on yourself for a while.
You'll recognize the right guy when he comes. -
May I be rude enough to bring you back to reality?
Not to mention he's extremely selfish, possessive and distrustful.
Of course, you can seek the opinion of the people here whether to move on or not. But at the end of the day, you still have got to make your own decision.
Take a greater look of the picture, is he the one that you're so certain that you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Are you positive that you are able and will be able to tolerate his possessiveness and constant doubting?
Trust really is the fundemental of a relationship, my friend. Look deep within, I believe you've really got an answer to your question.
Detached -
Dear Jeraldine
Please move on. Tis guy is not worth for you to waste your love on him. He such a MCP n he dunno wat love is. U r still young , I m sure u would be able to meet someone whom would appreciate u as wat u r.
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Hmmmm this kind of man is not worth it !!~!
Control all the things you wear and so on ...
What if you were to marry him and he start to control on your clothings , jobs,money and so on ....
Do you want ppl to control you ?
I suggest you to focus on your studies they determine your future the choice is yours . You can get gd salary and gd husband in future .
No pain no gain
Learn your lesson , you feel the pain dere ...
But you gain : Choose man wisely
Your future
Your studies
So isn't it worth it ????
He isn't the onnly man in this world though it is wise to break up with him as you said that he starting to date with other isn't he bad ?
As a teenager you will have your fun BUT HOW ABT YOUR FUTURE ? Guys at this age tend to flirt around and I don't think they are serious abt relationship and in the end the girls will suffer ! Pre-marital [Pardon me fer sp error
] Sex isn't it the problem you all are facing ? You wan this kind of future ? No-No right then choose the right way ~!
THE CHOICE IS YOURS NEVERTHELESS YOUR LIFE YOUR DESTINY ~! -
your man has a ego problem.Originally posted by jeraldine!:Hello, im littlefishtan! (earlier account). I got dumped because....
My bf thinks we are incompatible because im like more academically inclined, physically inclined, musically inclined and artistically inclined than he is.... i feels im trying to outshine him by gaining more knowledge and learning more things.... =(
And also,
Because this was a new year at school, he graduated and hence he wanted me to report mydaily interaction with male friends. So thats what i did, like i told him in detail everyday what i did. Even though i talked about only neutral conversations which classmates would have, he got extremely suspicious abt ppl around me and kept accusing things like
"You like this person right? that person like you right?"
His control tightened. He began to start controlling the way i dressed... like he wanted me to dress horribily when we go out..so no one will look in my direction....
He said he got tired from all 'the problems' (even though they were not really existent as i didnt like anyone else and no one else was interested in me) and hence got tired from facing and fighting all the external threats.
Now just after two weeks of break up, hes dating someone who is in the normal acad stream. =( How? Do you think i still have hope..... I tried to explain all the misudnerstandings but he wont listen....
I dont want to lose him. Hes the very rare type of guy... extremely loyal, decent, helpful, gentlemanly, caring and very filial to his parents......
I need advice badly... should i...
1. Move on
2. Wait for a while, den try again
3. Continue to persuade him to stay
Pls.... advice me on this issue.. Thank you... ='(
He do not want to lose to his gf.
so he decided to dump you and chose a less academically inclined gf.
sad to say lar no point in staying move onz. -
X2.....I warn her b4 using PM.......Originally posted by Yunhaier: I would suggest you post your problem here, copy and paste what you need to say instead of exposing your blog with your pics and stuff.
P.S: Edit away your post if you reckon that I make sense.
Cheers