Betrayed by my best friend.
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man you talk like a pro.Originally posted by MS:Actually that's a very big question regarding this dilema.
In the past, I had a gf who probably 2 3 4 timed me. Many of my friends who saw her outside told me of the matters but I thought since I love her, I should trust her. But when too many pple told me the same matter, I asked her and she denied very innocently and even got worked up. I felt so bad for suspecting her. But in the end she still dumped me for another guy. Actually she went steady with that guy before she broke up with me. The irony was that so called 3rd party didn't even know I was her bf after seeing me. The mentality I took was to trust and never check her HP.
I also had another gf who I suspected something wrong and I checked her phone and found that she and her ex actually re-ignited old flames while we were preparing for ROM. Really broke my heart. Of course we broke up.
When people are prepared to go into a relationship especially after so many failed due to infidelity, we must be prepared to have the other party checking up on us. I also understand that the both sides could be checking on each other frequently. This is because of a natural reaction to desire to know more about each other. There can be many empty talk about trusting means shouldn't check. Or even a barrier of privacy. But in terms of a committed relationship, the barrier is non-existance. The only thing you can keep from your other half are the confidential work related matters. The only way to reduce the frequency of such checkings on emails, hp is to build up the trust. Talk is cheap, it is via your daily actions that you let your other half know you deserve that blind trust. Let your other half check all he/she wants. Because if you got nothing to hide means you have nothing dirty to be found out. After some time as the suspicion grows weary as more trust is instilled, there will be a day when the checkings will stop.
But the trust is easy to smash and hard to build. When the trust has been built up yet smashed down, the next time to rebuild it will be harder or even impossible. Think thrice before doing anything to jeopardise the trust.
Therefore the best way is never to endanger yourself (esp. girls) into situations whereby you can be victimised by people with an integrity problem. In the first place when you already have a relationship, why would you want to go out alone with an opposite gender. If the person is someone you're not familiar with is even worse. It will not hurt, in fact be better if the outing is a group outing. Creates a healthier bonding as friends. My wife does that and so do I. Catch a movie or go track riding, we have our own circle of friends.
After talking so much. The main idea to get across is about building trust. And recognise each other's need for a reason to trust the other half. Then win that trust via your actions regardless how long it will take. Also do not endanger yourself into situations whereby you can potentially lose the trust of your other half.
I'm not some pro counsellor, but had my fair share of ups and downs in life. Also learnt things the hard way like many of you go through. But hopefully I manage to share some insights regarding relationships from a married man.
I agree with you above statements -
?Originally posted by libbytan:Its over as of today, sunday.
After attending church with him, went for lunch and went back to his home.
He was sleeping. So I took to opportunity to get his key and poured one bottle of home brew liquid into his engine oil cap. And another liter bottle into his petrol tank.
The third bottle of salt water....is poured onto the carpet of the car.
When he woke up, he suggested to watch movie then dinner.
I told him my best friend told me everything he did. I bluffed him that my best friend and I was only testing his love for me, and he failed completely.
Then I gave him a tight slap on his face and stormed out his bedroom.
His mum was in the living room, looking at me thinking what happened.
I bid goodbye and left his house.
He DID not even bother to explain or held me back or chased me back.......he remained stunned in his room when I left!
I am crying as I am typing this mail....I am sad thats a fact...but tomorrow I will be fine as such guys are not worth to be hubby quality!
like that only ?
you must have really love him a lot to such simple things to him..
since you have chosen such a easy path for him then better let him go. -
Wah....reading this topic very heart pain.....for some of u.
Relationships are often complicated.
Nothing ever comes worse than a betrayal. -
TS
I am sorry for your pain.
I hope you will find someone who truly treasures you and deserves you. -
sigh i feel sad for u..
my ex broke up wit me.after 3 years together..
we had a pack..
he promised he wouldnt have any relationship for afew months because we know i wouldnt be able to take it..
but one day..for some reason.. i got a hold of his phone..
.i saw messages..
of him and another woman..
the woman was like
" dear i sick today too... i love u blah blah blah "
it hurt so bad..
so so bad.. it killed my heart..
i couldnt eat.. i cried till i couldnt see where i was walking..
i lost weight too..had sleepless night..
had major break outs.. and ended up with half of my face being left with slight acne scar because i couldnt care then how i ended up..
it was the most costly relationship of my life..
anyways, he told me they were jus close friends..
that she liked him but he doesnt..
well..
in my heart.. i seriously doubted it..
but i guess i didnt wanna feel anymore pain.
so my mind.. created a wall..
in a sense denial..and told myself to belive him..
sure my head is calm now.. but my heart from time to time hurts so bad..
because it bleeds to know the answer.. yet it know if known..
the chances of being trampled upon is so great.
but i guess slowly..im learning how to deal with it and live without a man.
it is indeed...so much less pain involved.
i commend u girl, for being so strong =]
betrayal is great, even greater upon a woman's heart.
but hey do remb! people survived it.
so can u! =] -
Originally posted by libbytan:Its over as of today, sunday.
After attending church with him, went for lunch and went back to his home.
He was sleeping. So I took to opportunity to get his key and poured one bottle of home brew liquid into his engine oil cap. And another liter bottle into his petrol tank.
The third bottle of salt water....is poured onto the carpet of the car.
When he woke up, he suggested to watch movie then dinner.
I told him my best friend told me everything he did. I bluffed him that my best friend and I was only testing his love for me, and he failed completely.
Then I gave him a tight slap on his face and stormed out his bedroom.
His mum was in the living room, looking at me thinking what happened.
I bid goodbye and left his house.
He DID not even bother to explain or held me back or chased me back.......he remained stunned in his room when I left!
I am crying as I am typing this mail....I am sad thats a fact...but tomorrow I will be fine as such guys are not worth to be hubby quality!
you are Cool!! good for you!! -
U will be stronger because of it. Take heart.....Originally posted by Vindictiv3:sigh i feel sad for u..
my ex broke up wit me.after 3 years together..
we had a pack..
he promised he wouldnt have any relationship for afew months because we know i wouldnt be able to take it..
but one day..for some reason.. i got a hold of his phone..
.i saw messages..
of him and another woman..
the woman was like
" dear i sick today too... i love u blah blah blah "
it hurt so bad..
so so bad.. it killed my heart..
i couldnt eat.. i cried till i couldnt see where i was walking..
i lost weight too..had sleepless night..
had major break outs.. and ended up with half of my face being left with slight acne scar because i couldnt care then how i ended up..
it was the most costly relationship of my life..
anyways, he told me they were jus close friends..
that she liked him but he doesnt..
well..
in my heart.. i seriously doubted it..
but i guess i didnt wanna feel anymore pain.
so my mind.. created a wall..
in a sense denial..and told myself to belive him..
sure my head is calm now.. but my heart from time to time hurts so bad..
because it bleeds to know the answer.. yet it know if known..
the chances of being trampled upon is so great.
but i guess slowly..im learning how to deal with it and live without a man.
it is indeed...so much less pain involved.
i commend u girl, for being so strong =]
betrayal is great, even greater upon a woman's heart.
but hey do remb! people survived it.
so can u! =] -
Gal, time will heal.. trust me.. as i've been thru something worst than urs. and now i live happier w/o that bastard and found someone better..Originally posted by libbytan:Its over as of today, sunday.
After attending church with him, went for lunch and went back to his home.
He was sleeping. So I took to opportunity to get his key and poured one bottle of home brew liquid into his engine oil cap. And another liter bottle into his petrol tank.
The third bottle of salt water....is poured onto the carpet of the car.
When he woke up, he suggested to watch movie then dinner.
I told him my best friend told me everything he did. I bluffed him that my best friend and I was only testing his love for me, and he failed completely.
Then I gave him a tight slap on his face and stormed out his bedroom.
His mum was in the living room, looking at me thinking what happened.
I bid goodbye and left his house.
He DID not even bother to explain or held me back or chased me back.......he remained stunned in his room when I left!
I am crying as I am typing this mail....I am sad thats a fact...but tomorrow I will be fine as such guys are not worth to be hubby quality!
-
poisonous womanOriginally posted by libbytan:Its over as of today, sunday.
After attending church with him, went for lunch and went back to his home.
He was sleeping. So I took to opportunity to get his key and poured one bottle of home brew liquid into his engine oil cap. And another liter bottle into his petrol tank.
The third bottle of salt water....is poured onto the carpet of the car.
When he woke up, he suggested to watch movie then dinner.
I told him my best friend told me everything he did. I bluffed him that my best friend and I was only testing his love for me, and he failed completely.
Then I gave him a tight slap on his face and stormed out his bedroom.
His mum was in the living room, looking at me thinking what happened.
I bid goodbye and left his house.
He DID not even bother to explain or held me back or chased me back.......he remained stunned in his room when I left!
I am crying as I am typing this mail....I am sad thats a fact...but tomorrow I will be fine as such guys are not worth to be hubby quality!
i'll be careful not to piss my woman in the future
but good for you, you actually picked up the courage that very little women nowadays could do.