how many of u grew up constantly hearing discouraging things
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how many of u people grew up constantly hearing discouraging things (e.g parents pouring cold water, condemning words in front of relatives and friends etc etc) and in what way has it affected you as a person?
made you stronger? weaker?
does it have any impact in your life as in achieving your dreams, your goals in life? -
you suck.
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Even if you grew stronger from this, continue to hate you must.
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I grew up to be stronger...
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I dunno heard from where before when I was young, that my father didn't want me to leave with them, they wanted to sent me to those places like orphanage like that de, where the people there will take care of me, den I come home once in a while those type... But in the end, its because my mother claims no such places in Singapore... another time I heard that my father wanted to sell me...
Well, that was a long time a lot, I can say he changed a lot since then, for the better I meant, but some things never change... haiz, dun say le... -
Me. I should say stronger.Originally posted by Gunyandao:how many of u people grew up constantly hearing discouraging things (e.g parents pouring cold water, condemning words in front of relatives and friends etc etc) and in what way has it affected you as a person?
made you stronger? weaker?
does it have any impact in your life as in achieving your dreams, your goals in life? -
If it was a few years back, I might have quite easily agree with you...Originally posted by Eric Cartman:Even if you grew stronger from this, continue to hate you must. -
Me me..
But i never listen to them... -
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if used at a moderate level think the outcome could be positive.
if used excessively will be very damaging -
i think asking the kids to look up to and to learn to become like some other pple is very discouraging. cos it implies that the kid is not good at the moment.
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I ask them to shut up.
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and whenever they say some one is a great person or is good in some ways, they are actually implying a rebuke that you are not so good
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Tell this to your kids next time....Originally posted by DeadPoet:I ask them to shut up. 
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In the past my friends and relatives dare not try to be funny infront of me becasue of my hot temper. But now I've changed so much that I myself am surprise by the changes.Originally posted by Devil1976:Tell this to your kids next time.... -
But I think this is the common mistake that most parents make while lecturing their kids. They always say things like...Originally posted by hisoka:i think asking the kids to look up to and to learn to become like some other pple is very discouraging. cos it implies that the kid is not good at the moment.
"Why can't you behave like..."
"Why can't you get results like...."
"Why can't you be like..."
Which I used to reply... "Then you take XXX as your son lor..." -
Ask them to read Supernanny. Very interesting book, I bought a few copies for my friends.Originally posted by caleb_chiang:But I think this is the common mistake that most parents make while lecturing their kids. They always say things like...
"Why can't you behave like..."
"Why can't you get results like...."
"Why can't you be like..."
Which I used to reply... "Then you take XXX as your son lor..." -
To the title: yes.
Just prove them wrong, and grow up to be happier than them.
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Never give up, never look down on yourself and get stronger as each time they wanna take you down. Stay strong and prove to them that we can do it right and make it to the top.
AJ -
it's this asian thing ...
asian parents will always disparage their own kids in front of their presence ... but trust me ... they are secretly proud of you ....
humility forbids them to boast to others about you ... it's the quiet pride that they carry in their hearts that matters ... -
Yep, I agree with you about some parents' intention but I don't think that's the right way to bring up the kids. They end up growing up with low self-esteem.Originally posted by Fatum:it's this asian thing ...
asian parents will always disparage their own kids in front of their presence ... but trust me ... they are secretly proud of you ....
humility forbids them to boast to others about you ... it's the quiet pride that they carry in their hearts that matters ...
If the parents don't want to boast to others about the children, they don't have to put them down either.
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asian parents are not very demonstrative when it comes to feelings, so a lot of things come out sounding wrong ... but in the end, they all want the best for their kids ....
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My folks never went that far - well, they never had the chance to. Before they could draw any comparisons, I was already asking them questions like "Why are there so many people richer than you?"Originally posted by hisoka:i think asking the kids to look up to and to learn to become like some other pple is very discouraging. cos it implies that the kid is not good at the moment. -
It's not just our parents. Maybe that's what we've grown up with, and we've grown up to become what we've once hated. Just see what happens whenever someone says something provocative here.
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I grew up hearing discouraging things till now. It's mostly from my parents, especially my mom. She keeps saying I dun look good or even normal(I can't debate about the normal part). It kinda affects my self-confidence to be truthful. That's why I try not to dwell too much on what they say.