Best friends
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Hello all. I'm new to this forum and there's a nagging question within me for quite some time, due to happenings recently.
I would like to ask all of u on your views on this:
How do u define a best friend?? Must best friends be only on a 1-1 basis? Is it possible to be best friends with more than 1 together? To avoid confusion, what I mean by more than 1 doesn't mean u r best friend with 1 & best friend with another. I mean by being best friends with the 2 (or any number) of them, sharing any secrets or happiness together, not keeping the 3rd (or the rest) feeling neglected?
Thanks for reading this. -
Yes. It is possible....
But even best frens shift apart... when they got attached or step into the working society.
Tat's life....
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LiTeBu|b ©
GalaxyNet #ZzZzLanD
Welcome to Blue_MooN Domain -
Ya, I know its possible, but I dun understand why it doesnt apply in my case.
I shall describe my situation in detail w/o naming names, hopefully u can see the picture. I'm a guy in case anyone's still guessing.
Currently I'm studying and staying in a hall with a close roomie (hes my classmate too). I didnt know much abt my roomie in our 1st year, as we only starting living together from 2nd year. We are kinda close to this girl whom we knew in our 1st year class. During the 1st year we used to go on outings with the 3 of us.
Since living together, I've began to know more abt my roomie & this girl. I've found out that often my roomie didn't want me to hear what hes talking to the girl, or lets me know what he's ICQing her abt. Finally I found out that he's actually carrying a torch for her. I asked the girl, she said she rejected his advances. I notice even now that hes still trying to gain her acceptance. But this has affected our normal friendship. U see, he'll keep away when this girl is with me or our classmates & will only come in when she's alone. This girl told me that she wants to reject him in a way that she'll still be best friends with him.
In my mind I've always felt that I could be best friends with the both of them at the same time, but it seems that my roomie just wants to share his secrets & happiness with this girl, whom I sometimes share that to too. But I feel this is the cause of me & my roomie drifting apart as time goes on. So much so that I dunno whether to continue living with him next year.
My relationship with this girl is more or less stable. During my 1st year she asked me to help her in her studies & I obliged, & we went out on a number of occasions. I admit I had a crush on her then. But now I'm very sure that I only want a platonic relationship with this girl, & I made sure I made it clear to both the girl & my roomie.
I dunno why things must come to this pass. If anyone's confused on any part, please tell me & I'll explain in detail.
Thanks once again. -
Best friends? I always tot the word best means 1 only. She will be one tat u can really rely on, won't betray you, can share all your thoughts, can tell her everything in the world. But till now I can't find such a person yet...
Even if you have a few good friends, there will surely be one of them that you are on better terms right? And they will also have someone whom they can get along better. Or even other best friends from their own circle.
Well, it all depends on yourself... really. No right or wrong defination. Even the person closest to you might not be your best friend.
Sorry to blabber cos this is a sensitive issue to me. I never really had any best friends from primary school, didn't keep in contact with any.
In secondary sch i had 2 friends and we always seem to be together, but I feel tat it was becoz they were so called outcast as no one else likes them. Still, I treat them as friends. I matchmade the closer one to a guy friend, till now they are together, when in the first place they each had someone else in mind. when he can't forget the girl I confronted him and tried to help them as much as i could.
Anyway, after entering poly we didnt keep in contact. maybe just a few calls from her. I didn't wan to keep in contact becoz of wat something hurting that they said after receiving the results. Unlike them, I dun burry my head in books every min. When it turns out I fare better than them, they actually accused me of cheating in the exams. Hahaha, cheating in o levels exams. I didn't even cheat in civis and moral test when everyone had the text underneath. I tot friends should be happy for you and trust your ability. I felt so betrayed.
As for poly, I shan't bore you with the details. hehe
Just spouting some nonsense.
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**I want u to be with me.....
be with me in the morning...be with me in the nite...with me when its dark out...with me when its light...
I want u to be with me...no matter what we do...just keep this reminder...of how much I love u...** -
Thanks for the prompt reply. I dun think your post is nonsense.
You are rite in that it is hard to find out whether your supposed best friend is really someone who doesnt stab your back.
I'm kinda lost in the use of "best" or "good". I would like to use "best", in the "good" context, as "best" only means 1, whereas "good" is not as strong as "best"
Maybe my definition of a best friend's quite naive, but I've always believed that it is possible to maintain equal best friend relationship with a few, not just 1 friend, especially if they know each other themselves too. Also, I believe that even if we are best friends, we should not talk behind another best friend, unless they really dun consider that friend one.
So, it's clear that my roomie does not want to share with me his experiences with this common girl friend of ours. This girl also will keep that secret so as to respect my roomie.
What should I react instead??? Keep away from him, keep away from her or keep away from both?? -
As long as u know what is best for the 3 of u all, do it.
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Well, u can't blame your roomie for this, u shd knw "LOVE IS SELFISH", anyway, different pple will have different standards set for their "best frds". Juz stick to yours, if u try to find a best frd based on others' point of view, u will realise that it won't work out...Originally posted by Kiwi:So, it's clear that my roomie does not want to share with me his experiences with this common girl friend of ours. This girl also will keep that secret so as to respect my roomie.
What should I react instead??? Keep away from him, keep away from her or keep away from both??
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
You can't really said I'm trying to find a best friend based on other pple's view.
I'm only asking for pple's opinion, after which i'll make my own decision. Is that called based on other pple's view??
No offence, but I understand your concern, & assure you that I'm not a lamer who can't make up his mind on things.
Thanks for your reply.