An untitled Poem for the Broken-hearted Girl
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I composed this, not too good but I hope it's coherent.. The 5th and 7th line can be read more than 1 way.
This is for the Broken-Hearted Girl :
You came, you loved, you up and gone
An empty vessel, cancerous, floating and forlorn
you wait to float to someplace sane
where you can unfurl and leech and lie again
With mine faith & strength I held thy demons at bay
alas the wrong demons fought for yours did sway
I never knew what this was all about- YOU?
I did, my love & faith simply was deeper than you
For twas not love that you so seek
But lust and gold that make men sick
You seek not to rid yourself of this plague
So go forth - seek - you'll burn just as I said
I'll soar and burn with phoenix flames
The serpent heart will burn resisting change
and therefore without much ado
I hereby close my door to you -
sounds wicked to the guy -
For example?Originally posted by spinsugar:The 5th and 7th line can be read more than 1 way.
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is tis ur usual writing style or u trying to sound more poetic by using old english?
5th line : "mine faith and strength"? if tat's not a typo, i dun really understand wat u trying to say...
and u also lost me at 7th line... pls elaborate? -
Hey tare, what are we doing here?Originally posted by tare:is tis ur usual writing style or u trying to sound more poetic by using old english?
5th line : "mine faith and strength"? if tat's not a typo, i dun really understand wat u trying to say...
and u also lost me at 7th line... pls elaborate? -
attracted by the title "poem" hahahaha... ain't u too?Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hey tare, what are we doing here? 
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wad happened to the girl huh..
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err mind explaining??? cos a lil bit confused at 7th line
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this is a hate poem............
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really?Originally posted by allentyb:this is a hate poem............ -
sheepryl hate who sia....
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Get over her and move on. 'There is more than 1 gal in the world.Originally posted by spinsugar:I composed this, not too good but I hope it's coherent.. The 5th and 7th line can be read more than 1 way.
This is for the Broken-Hearted Girl :
You came, you loved, you up and gone
An empty vessel, cancerous, floating and forlorn
you wait to float to someplace sane
where you can unfurl and leech and lie again
With mine faith & strength I held thy demons at bay
alas the wrong demons fought for yours did sway
I never knew what this was all about- YOU?
I did, my love & faith simply was deeper than you
For twas not love that you so seek
But lust and gold that make men sick
You seek not to rid yourself of this plague
So go forth - seek - you'll burn just as I said
I'll soar and burn with phoenix flames
The serpent heart will burn resisting change
and therefore without much ado
I hereby close my door to you
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Originally posted by tare:attracted by the title "poem" hahahaha... ain't u too?
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I dont think u get the meaning of the poem.Originally posted by rane:Get over her and move on. 'There is more than 1 gal in the world.
Also, TS is a girl. -
With mine faith & strength I held thy demons at bay
With my faith and strength and by your side, I fought your demons off to keep them away from you, but I also had to fight to keep your demons away from me. Old english used to symbolise the traditional role played by the girl here.. an old, idealistic type of faith in love. Demons represent personal problems dealing with a person's own mentality, and also external enemies / problems.
alas the wrong demons fought for yours did sway
The man was fighting the wrong demons - ie. picking on the wrong things to "fight" about in the relationship.
The man's faith & strength in the relationship buckled
In the end, the woman was also fighting the wrong demons because the man turned out to be the demon that turned on the woman.
I never knew what this was all about- YOU?
This is the girl's reply to something the man told her.. It can be read these ways :
I never knew what? (That) this was all about YOU?
(You said) I never knew what this was all about. (Was it all about) YOU?
(You said) I never knew what this was all about.... (but did) YOU?
And also these lines :
An empty vessel, cancerous, floating and forlorn
Empty vessel - the man has nothing to give the girl because he himself is an empty shell. All talk and no action ( "empty vessels make the most noise" ).
cancerous - he seems to be like a part of the girl originally.. then later he turns into something ugly, a nightmare
floating - he has no direction
forlorn - representing his self-pity and his loneliness.. he likes to see himself in this light and wants the girl to nurture him (many girls have a thing for taking in "sorry-looking" things)
For twas not love that you so seek....
But lust and gold that make men sick
The man gave up the relationship because he felt he needed not love, but money (career) and women (plural).
You seek not to rid yourself of this plague
Remember the 1st few lines detailing how the man is always lonely? Here it is compared with a sickness.. it's the man's "pattern", he does not want to break out of his destructive cycle / behaviour.
So go forth - seek - you'll burn just as I said
The woman warned the man before that he would be the one who gets hurt in the end if he only lived for money and women. She is letting him go here : "ok if that's what you want go and find it!"
I'll soar and burn with phoenix flames
The woman's telling the man that she will, like a phoenix, revive (from the failed relationship) and burn brightly (turn beautiful, find success in life). It also signifies change.
The serpent heart will burn resisting change
she is saying the cold-hearted man will suffer because he didn't want to change for the better (as in, give up his destructive ways, break out of his cycle).
I tried my best to combine the fewest words for maximum meaning. Whew. I like expressing myself this way, I don't know why but I've always liked literature -
I think I get the meaning of your poem but if u can explain it further, pls do so. It sounds wicked to the guy but it's good. One of my friends had felt the same way before but she did get over it and move on with her life....
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Waaa..Originally posted by poem:I think I get the meaning of your poem but if u can explain it further, pls do so. It sounds wicked to the guy but it's good. One of my friends had felt the same way before but she did get over it and move on with her life.... which part need mi explain lei? I try my best (x_x")> -
Another ode to the broken-hearted girl ...not a poem, a short passage
The Laughing Sea
With closed eyes she sunk her toes in the sand.
The rolling waves caressed but she craved a different touch
The sighing wind was cold comfort to her aching heart.
Togetherness was painful but solitude hurt even deeper.
Why'd they hurt each other the way they did, she did not understand.
She thought love would overcome all.
They fought the demons side by side.
But alas the biggest demon was within him, a monster she could not reach.
While she held true, the battles changed him.
Real love came, blossomed, but now it must go..
in order to survive the demons.
It was not her battle to fight, not for her to decide.
The gulls mocked her foolish dilemma.
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why ur poems must have the demons inside?
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Originally posted by spinsugar:
/patpat
Another ode to the broken-hearted girl ...not a poem, a short passage
[b]The Laughing Sea
With closed eyes she sunk her toes in the sand.
The rolling waves caressed but she craved a different touch
The sighing wind was cold comfort to her aching heart.
Togetherness was painful but solitude hurt even deeper.
Why'd they hurt each other the way they did, she did not understand.
She thought love would overcome all.
They fought the demons side by side.
But alas the biggest demon was within him, a monster she could not reach.
While she held true, the battles changed him.
Real love came, blossomed, but now it must go..
in order to survive the demons.
It was not her battle to fight, not for her to decide.
The gulls mocked her foolish dilemma. [/b] -
It's a very common term in english literature. Check out the dictionary...Originally posted by pierre^^:why ur poems must have the demons inside?
de·mon (dē'mən)
n.
1. An evil supernatural being; a devil.
2. A persistently tormenting person, force, or passion: the demon of drug addiction.
3. One who is extremely zealous, skillful, or diligent: worked away like a demon; a real demon at math.
4. Variant of daimon. -
Originally posted by gLc:/patpat
I'm ok.... Actually I posted this so other girls wouldn't feel so bad abt their relationships, sometimes they gotta understand it's not their fault. :p -
2. A persistently tormenting person, force, or passion: the demon of gambling addiction.
The Integrated resorts are palaces for demons living within... -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
2. A persistently tormenting person, force, or passion: [b]the demon of gambling addiction.
The Integrated resorts are palaces for demons living within...[/b]
wah come here tok bout IR lol...
Andrew.. I'm getting out of here soon le.. Boey tahan too many demons in angel's (white) clothing...