my life sux..
-
i'm already 21 this year but i've no achievements whatsoever..
ever since the day i was enlisted, my life is going downhill..
my BMT platoon mates dislike me cus i always "gan" them when i was appointed as platoon IC..
i didn't managed to get into command sch.. i guess i was being rated last in peer appraisal..
and i was posted to a camp to become man..
then my gf left me..
due to many many reasons..
next, i've applied for uni but was kena rejected..
so what exactly is going on here??
hello?? is there anyone who can answer me??
i think only God can explain.. -
What's with the "my life sux" trend....chin up...there are people who are worse off than you....can you pls...don't lament or sulk...you have the power to change your life and whatever that is wrong.... -
Like I said before many times.
Your problem is not the problem; your reaction to your problem is the problem.
There is no use indulging in self-blame, find a remedy
-
Hi, U are still young! Don't be so optimistic
More nice things will still wait for u! -
-
i think uve got it backwards, he's being pessimisticOriginally posted by CannyOng:Hi, U are still young! Don't be so optimistic
More nice things will still wait for u! -
So did you learnt anything form it?
-
yes..Originally posted by soulwinner:So did you learnt anything form it?
i'm hot tempered that's y ppl dislike me..
i'm not a good bf, that's y she left me..
i'm not smart enough, that's y the uni rejected me.. -
if u know that u have a problem, then do something about it.Originally posted by lonestar86:yes..
i'm hot tempered that's y ppl dislike me..
i'm not a good bf, that's y she left me..
i'm not smart enough, that's y the uni rejected me..
the world around u will not change until u change.
cheers -
lol... the first step that u must do is to change yr nick from lonestar86 to shiningstar86 or ...
Be a man in NS not that bad wat... u have less responsibilities and get pay around the same as those tat r in command... As a man, u can still play yr game ... So wat is so bad abt tat??
A university degree is like a paper that ceritfied tat you have already paid protection money for 4 yrs and this paper does not 100% guaratee u to find a job that gives more than $2000. You should be happy that you are exempted from protection fee.
Things are not tat bad if u look forward and have the courage to turn it around... -
At least you are alive now! Better off than the soldiers tat had died for the nation during the course of their duty! Cheer up! Most ORD NS personnel will get a GF, so no need to worry. Jus take care of yourself and dream about the future!
-
Do you truely think your life sucks?
"Gold is tried by fire, brave men by adversity"
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."
"True happiness is... to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future."
"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."
"Life, if well lived, is long enough."
I am normally a happy and carefree christian but 2 years after the string of bad events and no end in sight, the dispair and hopelessness is finally setting in.
1. After finished NS got slipped disc. Used to study 6hrs a day for ACCA exams and after that couldn't walk properly home due to the pain. During the 3hr long exams however I was able to ignore the pain and concentrate on the paper. I thought God was helping me as I always passed. Everytime after the exam had to limp home.
2. When taking my final module I had symtoms of mental illness (voices in my head), but still I was able to ignore all these for 6mths until the exam in Dec and even pass it. Again I thought God was helping me.
3. After that the illness got so bad I ran away from home (many events happen and I was still safe and I thanked God for that) before being finally warded at IMH for schizophrenia.
After my discharge from IMH I was still very happy and optimistic as all this while it seem that although there are trials I still managed to survived and there was still bright hope for the future. However what happened two weeks after my discharge changed my life totally, not all at once after the initial shock, but slowly until the state I am in now.
After being well enough to be discharged (no more voices/hallucinations), I took medication for about one week but stopped due to the horrible side effects and other reasons.
A week later my mother contacted a private psychiatric facility to forcibly bring me from my home and lock me up there. Compared to IMH that place was HELL. I was tied to the bed for days like an animal and kept under CCTV. They wouldn't even untie fully me to pee, I had to use a container. There I was subject to repeatedly forced electroshock and fed with 4x the "safe" dosage of drugs at one point. Finally after a month when they let my mom visit me, I had to lie to her that I would promise to take my medication "forever" in order to convince her to tell the doctor to release me. Rolling Eyes
Later when I was released I ask my mom why put me in such place when I didn't relapse? She said that the doctor claimed that I had relapsed. (how could he know this without even first talking to me to assess my condition? Even during the entire lock-up period the doctor never interviewed me properly to assess my condition. In fact the whole month he only said one sentence to me "how are you doing? Good!" and walk off without even bothering to hear my reply. In IMH the doctors interviewed you about every 2 days.) This doctor also extolled the benefits of electroshock to my mother claiming it was SO GOOD. I also happen to talk to a former psychiatrist who had been working in IMH for many years. When I asked why that doctor sold ECT so hard, he said that running an electroshock facility is very costly. I guess you can draw your own conclusion. Rolling Eyes
Life after ECT was so surreal. Initially I felt better, not as depressed etc... Then the cruel reality hit me when I started working. There were large gaps in my memmory that weren't there before. My short-term memmory was horrible. I forgot what I had spent so much effot learning in school. I forget where I put things, couldn't remember what I had been told moments before etc...
One horror led to another...
After the memmory problems faded, I developed a servere Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is 10x worse than schizophrenia in terms of suffering and mental torture. Kept apologising to people over embarressing things and making a fool out of myself at the office. If I did not follow my compulsions I would feel extremely uncomfortable for hours if not days. e.g break out in sweat, feel extremely agitated/frustrated etc... I took medication + used cognitive behavior therapy for it which had some success squashing the initial compulsions, but the compulsions always mutate. Everytime I started working again in it would flare up again and badly, resulting in me having to quit the job rather than risk being found out and fired.
During the 2 years after ECT my life has been going down the drain. My capacity for handling stress has been greatly reduced. To make matters worse, the stress of constantly refusing to carry out the compulsions to keep my OCD under control has taken its heavy toll on me.
After quiting my last job in Jan this year my general health is very poor due to the stress. I feel extremely miserable and recently the idea of suicide has even started to become appealing much to my dismay. However the fact that some of the links I see on google search teaching such things are hosted by the church of satan puts me off at the moment.
As a christian my dream is always to go to heaven. I do not know why in the first three bad events God has dangled the carrot of hope in front of me only to be squashed thoroughly with my incarceration at the private electroshock facility which possibly damaged my brain and other parts of my body and I think led to OCD and other problems. I am feeling increasingly isolated and alone as noone really seems to understand the suffering im going through. They seem to think that mental illness is a result of having a weak mind or weak will power. This is not true. My current "friends" are now those former IMH patients.
Also even those so-called christians in my church who knows about my condition discriminate against me when I did nothing to them. The church authorities wouldn't even give me a job. I had to find my jobs through the newspaper.
When will these misery end? Is the suffering worth it?
After reading this story, Do you really think your life sux? Everything in life happens for a reason" -
how trueOriginally posted by frederikan:if u know that u have a problem, then do something about it.
the world around u will not change until u change.
cheers 
-
wds impt is dun giv up on urself, stay strong and be a better you. Am sure things will turn ard soon. =)
-
xoxo dulan liaoOriginally posted by fairlady_xoxo:
What's with the "my life sux" trend....chin up...there are people who are worse off than you....can you pls...don't lament or sulk...you have the power to change your life and whatever that is wrong....
-
Originally posted by lonestar86:i'm already 21 this year but i've no achievements whatsoever..
At this age, some are still sucking milk, are you?
ever since the day i was enlisted, my life is going downhill..
my BMT platoon mates dislike me cus i always "gan" them when i was appointed as platoon IC..
i didn't managed to get into command sch.. i guess i was being rated last in peer appraisal..
and i was posted to a camp to become man..
Hmmm.... if they had changed your sex, you will not achieve anything, let alone an erection!
then my gf left me..
due to many many reasons..
Babies cry too when their mothers left them.
next, i've applied for uni but was kena rejected..
The best university is the University of Rejection.
so what exactly is going on here??
hello?? is there anyone who can answer me??
You called God already?
i think only God can explain..
Exactly, human like me, can't. -
Originally posted by lonestar86:yes..
i'm hot tempered that's y ppl dislike me..
i'm not a good bf, that's y she left me..
i'm not smart enough, that's y the uni rejected me..
Then what are you going to do about it?
Cheers -
You have but to be positive. You have no choice. Life goes on whether you like it or not... make the best of what you have... discover what you are good at and make a career out of that...Originally posted by lonestar86:i'm already 21 this year but i've no achievements whatsoever..
ever since the day i was enlisted, my life is going downhill..
my BMT platoon mates dislike me cus i always "gan" them when i was appointed as platoon IC..
i didn't managed to get into command sch.. i guess i was being rated last in peer appraisal..
and i was posted to a camp to become man..
then my gf left me..
due to many many reasons..
next, i've applied for uni but was kena rejected..
so what exactly is going on here??
hello?? is there anyone who can answer me??
i think only God can explain.. -
ur not alone, each of us most probably have gone thru or will go thru this. and it doesn't just happen once, i am dealing with it myself....trying to stay positive everyday & feeling blessed......learn to be happy & sometimes contented.Originally posted by lonestar86:i'm already 21 this year but i've no achievements whatsoever..
ever since the day i was enlisted, my life is going downhill..
my BMT platoon mates dislike me cus i always "gan" them when i was appointed as platoon IC..
i didn't managed to get into command sch.. i guess i was being rated last in peer appraisal..
and i was posted to a camp to become man..
then my gf left me..
due to many many reasons..
next, i've applied for uni but was kena rejected..
so what exactly is going on here??
hello?? is there anyone who can answer me??
i think only God can explain..
GF left you, yes cry it out & move on....
Apply for uni & got rejected, try foreign uni.....
worry less, free urself of all anxieties & perservere on.....you can do it & you will do it