how
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hello all:
just wondering wat kinda advice i'd get over here.
im a guy;still studying but graduating this year. right now i like a gal whos a yr older than me. shes working as an engineer and financially independent.
i like her but am hesitant to woo her as all the odds are against me: age, financial status etc.
i should have a bright future but a career takes time to establish. im afraid it will be too late by the time im on par with her financially.
pls advise, no flaming thanks. -
Yup, true luv is so powerful that no barrier can stop it, go for her...Originally posted by Ruth|E:U gotta prove to her... but dun think she will mind...
again.. gals are pretty materialistic nowadays
Ruthie, think u r not one of those materialistic gals, or are u?
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
thanks.
still dont u think age is a barrier even though its only a yr? most of my frens told me to go for it...till they knew she was a yr older. they feel most gals will not go for someone younger.
capability-wise i have faith that i will match and surpass her but right now have no chance to prove this. moreover any time now she can choose someone more established, and honestly i feel she should too, because shes not getting any younger and cant wait too long.
haha, after coming to terms with all these odds i still like her nevertheless.it seems reality placed me in dire straits.
an insurmountable test. -
thanks.
still dont u think age is a barrier even though its only a yr? most of my frens told me to go for it...till they knew she was a yr older. they feel most gals will not go for someone younger.
capability-wise i have faith that i will match and surpass her but right now have no chance to prove this. moreover any time now she can choose someone more established, and honestly i feel she should too, because shes not getting any younger and cant wait too long.
haha, after coming to terms with all these odds i still like her nevertheless.it seems reality placed me in dire straits.
an insurmountable test. -
for me, obviously i dont care abt the age. think its tough enuff trying to find someone of matching frequency...less to say if i were to put an age limit on tat.
i think maturity is not an issue, pp my age are(should be) pretty much grown up. fear of gossip/loss of face etc? not an issue either; if i like someone i dont care wat others think. but obviously for something like tat to work out the person i like must think the same.
the only real concern i see abt age, is something for the gals to worry abt: the child bearing age. if u want 2 kids its best u have the 1st by late 20s. even though current technology standards are stretching the limit to abt 35yrs of age, its still not advisable.
on a separate note:
effects of gals on gals- my guy frens and i sometimes cant help but notice a terrible trait amongst many gals. we know tat gals usually take their galfrens' advice pretty seriously and for tat matter many have a habit of discouraging their peers from accepting guys; or worse, some advise their frens to dump their bfs etc simply (in my opinion) becos they're unattached themselves and are jealous. ive come across a gal who actually cursed(perhaps too strong a word to use here) an attached fren of hers whos getting married soon, claiming that the courtship period of her fren had been too short and that the marriage wouldnt last long. tats really a mean thing to say, dont u think? i hope any gal who reads this take this advice: take any advice from yr good galfren with a pinch of salt and with regards to such stuff..try to think for yourself. -
AIYOHYOH!! You think too much already, ask her for a date and see if you can click first. Talking do not cook rice you know.Originally posted by userid:i think maturity is not an issue, pp my age are(should be) pretty much grown up. fear of gossip/loss of face etc? not an issue either; if i like someone i dont care wat others think. but obviously for something like tat to work out the person i like must think the same.
Worse scenario is she rejects you and doesn't like you. SO WHAT? Life goes on... -
Originally posted by userid:
thanks.
still dont u think age is a barrier even though its only a yr? most of my frens told me to go for it...till they knew she was a yr older. they feel most gals will not go for someone younger.
Never mind what your friends think and people say... The FACT is you have NOT heard from her PERSONALLY. My 1st ADVICE for you would be to ASK her 1st. Plan your steps from there. Can she or can she not accept you? For what reasons? Can those reasons (difficulties) be overcomed? (Don't deceive yourself here... They either can or CANNOT be overcomed, don't FORCE things IMPOSSIBLE especially trying to see things FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW ONLY.. Relationships don't work this way...) GENERAL SPEAKING as the AGE of the parties involved go higher, age gap USUALLY get relatively insignificant.
capability-wise i have faith that i will match and surpass her but right now have no chance to prove this. moreover any time now she can choose someone more established, and honestly i feel she should too, because shes not getting any younger and cant wait too long.
IF you think she should be choosing someone else THEN I think you should not be WASTING your time and OUR TIME... Ask her what she wants 1st... Don't be a MCP here. That might be not what she's looking for?
for me, obviously i dont care abt the age. think its tough enuff trying to find someone of matching frequency...less to say if i were to put an age limit on tat.
i think maturity is not an issue, pp my age are(should be) pretty much grown up. fear of gossip/loss of face etc? not an issue either; if i like someone i dont care wat others think. but obviously for something like tat to work out the person i like must think the same.
So WHAT for you WAITING for...? ASK HER...???
the only real concern i see abt age, is something for the gals to worry abt: the child bearing age. if u want 2 kids its best u have the 1st by late 20s. even though current technology standards are stretching the limit to abt 35yrs of age, its still not advisable.
You're THINKING TOO MUCH... Without even starting a BATTLE you've already got your MORALE down by 50%... CONGRATULATIONs... Carry on and THINK of ALL the POSSIBLE 'trival' problems you'll face and I BET you SOON ENOUGH you can SAVE all your TROUBLES.... Because she'll already be someone elses'.... (Hmm... Maybe she ALREADY IS? :p) You're no COURTING her... NOT MARRYING her.. It's NICE that you think that far... But don't jump steps... Advice No. 2: IF you CAN'T EVEN pass TEST 1... You can FORGET about the REST....
on a separate note:
effects of gals on gals- my guy frens and i sometimes cant help but notice a terrible trait amongst many gals. we know tat gals usually take their galfrens' advice pretty seriously and for tat matter many have a habit of discouraging their peers from accepting guys; or worse, some advise their frens to dump their bfs etc simply (in my opinion) becos they're unattached themselves and are jealous. ive come across a gal who actually cursed(perhaps too strong a word to use here) an attached fren of hers whos getting married soon, claiming that the courtship period of her fren had been too short and that the marriage wouldnt last long. tats really a mean thing to say, dont u think? i hope any gal who reads this take this advice: take any advice from yr good galfren with a pinch of salt and with regards to such stuff..try to think for yourself.
Though I can agree with you that SOME of the girls might be doing that... But they're usually the more immature groups... Some of them also just out of kindness or just as casual comments...
It's really up to the listener to interpret the things people say and really not much way you can stop these people from saying things of such... Relationship is TESTED, a personal's character is TESTED....
Just part and parcels of life... Get USED to it...
[/B] -
actually ive dated her before quite regularly last time...till my last exams actually.not really like wat you guys are imagining...im not tat much of a loser..haha not tat type just watch from afar do nothing and sulk kind.
there have been ups and downs i guess...some dates were great, some werent.but since after my last sem's exams...has been downhill i think..i dont know why either.i was quite sianz so i stopped contacting her for a mth. she didnt contact me either..i thought not much of a chance anywayz so give myself time to look elsewhere and try to give up.
but recently met up with her and another fren for vanilla sky..damned, i found that i still like tat..shit man. =P
sounds like im fooling ard? nope. im not tat kind either.
cant help but feel disappointed. she just bought a 2nd hand car...perhaps its nothing to u guys but to me..its like playing catch up. -
haha i think i will get a slap.Originally posted by DRU|D:Fuck Da Fact That Ur Not On Da SAme Level Wif HEr
MOst Impt Is Date Her And Then Ask Her 4 A Screw
That Is DA Only Insurance U Will Get
Coz If Da R/S Dun Work Out Then At Least U Got Something
Nvm If She calls U A Bastard 4 WHat U Did -
Hmmm, capable, I'm working towards that, I'm now only a fresh NUS graduate starting my first job, so I better don't boast...Originally posted by Ruth|E:im not materialisitic... but i wan to have a man who is much capable than mi... and can provide mi with my standard of living right now!!!
*hurhurhur*
*aniwae... i dun think im very capable*
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
hehehe, I know that already, u already make yourself very clear, but normally reality isn't what u expect it to b and this is the same for luv+relationship...Originally posted by Ruth|E:I will never go for younger guys... maybe 5 yrs older!
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
wah lau..mike.. haha.. u date ruthie out lah, then see if she can accept u lah!!!Originally posted by mikegk_76:hehehe, I know that already, u already make yourself very clear, but normally reality isn't what u expect it to b and this is the same for luv+relationship...
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treasure your love ones before you regret...!~ -
There's really nothing to feel dissappointed one rite..since that she is already financally independent..its just rite that she bought a car..i mean...theres no need to feel inferior or things like that..i have friends whose Gfs are 2-3 years older then them and they are still happily with each other..the main issue here is that how do you feel for her and if she has any feelings for you...try and see loe...buy her small gifts and things like that and ask her out...you should be able to detect if she has any feelings for you during the outings mah...Originally posted by userid:actually ive dated her before quite regularly last time...till my last exams actually.not really like wat you guys are imagining...im not tat much of a loser..haha not tat type just watch from afar do nothing and sulk kind.
there have been ups and downs i guess...some dates were great, some werent.but since after my last sem's exams...has been downhill i think..i dont know why either.i was quite sianz so i stopped contacting her for a mth. she didnt contact me either..i thought not much of a chance anywayz so give myself time to look elsewhere and try to give up.
Theres no friends that will be happy everyday and things will not always be smooth sailing one what..its ok that you feel sianz sometimes..but dun always liek that loe...
but then..when you and her went out together..how do you actually feel har..the most important is that do you feel at ease with her and things like that..no use being with a ger when you cannot be yourself rite..
but recently met up with her and another fren for vanilla sky..damned, i found that i still like tat..shit man. =P
sounds like im fooling ard? nope. im not tat kind either.
cant help but feel disappointed. she just bought a 2nd hand car...perhaps its nothing to u guys but to me..its like playing catch up.
And if that the feeling is mutual...you dun have to worry abt her friends saying discouraging things abt your relationship rite...take it as a test for your relationship and take it in your stride...
For example..i am currently overseas and there are also ppl back in singapore talking to my gf abt how a guy will definately breakup with his gf when he comes back and things like that...we do quarrel regarding this issue..(abt her friends saying discouraging words) but then..never let other people determine your relationship...you have to fight for your own love....if you really want to be with her..you will really have to fight for it..and if that really so suay that she dun accept you..then just take it and look else where loe....hope this helps.. -
userid:
If u never ask for her own opinion, u will never know. The rest of us are just making speculative guesses. So go and ask her. 1 yr difference only what.
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Dated her before but no sparks means that you're doing something Dreadfully WRONG!Originally posted by userid:actually ive dated her before quite regularly last time...till my last exams actually.not really like wat you guys are imagining...im not tat much of a loser..haha not tat type just watch from afar do nothing and sulk kind.
there have been ups and downs i guess...some dates were great, some werent.but since after my last sem's exams...has been downhill i think..i dont know why either.i was quite sianz so i stopped contacting her for a mth. she didnt contact me either..i thought not much of a chance anywayz so give myself time to look elsewhere and try to give up.
but recently met up with her and another fren for vanilla sky..damned, i found that i still like tat..shit man. =P
sounds like im fooling ard? nope. im not tat kind either.
cant help but feel disappointed. she just bought a 2nd hand car...perhaps its nothing to u guys but to me..its like playing catch up.
Perhaps, it's your lack of self-esteem and the need for approval from her. Or maybe you're a super duper Goodie nice guy that will roll around and play dead for her. Well, do you know what's the problem? That's because you think too much and don't give the yourself nor the relationship a chance to grow.
Listen more to her then constantly hearing yourself whine in your head... quick go do that and date her again.
Get the stupid catch-up game outta your head! You want to graduate and become a rat to participate the ratrace of corporate life? SUCKS! Bet that they could never be happy... -
Ms Hurhurhur...Originally posted by Ruth|E:I will never go for younger guys... maybe 5 yrs older!
What kind of guys do you like? I know a few who are 29 years old and above, but can't vouch for their character. heeeheee....
Money? Character? Personality? Intelligence? or What? :p -
well my GF oso 1years older den me...Originally posted by userid:hello all:
just wondering wat kinda advice i'd get over here.
im a guy;still studying but graduating this year. right now i like a gal whos a yr older than me. shes working as an engineer and financially independent.
i like her but am hesitant to woo her as all the odds are against me: age, financial status etc.
i should have a bright future but a career takes time to establish. im afraid it will be too late by the time im on par with her financially.
pls advise, no flaming thanks.
we get along well..
so no problem for age gap...
she diploma holder, i sec 3 oni....
so if each another is true to each another. it wont be a problem..
maybe u will oni feel preasure by other pp..
like friends, family, etc.....
go for it my friend..
wish u good luck... -
hello again,
just want to thank you guys for all the encouragement etc..
this column is great! at least it allows me to just get my problems out of my system..im feeling better already..hehe..
ya..my final sem has begun, last burst of fire! although im still in an autopilot mode when its comes to studying now...ever since internship actually when i first got to know her actually..haha.. still, im doing ok in sch so i guess tats my consolation.
im taking it easy, yeah, tats wat i do best. meanwhile i'll mix ard more to widen my circle, hopefully date new pp. i think dating is healthy!
few pp can escape the rat race, i need to work hard for myself anywayz. perhaps i will just ask her out once in a while for a casual date. some of my frens commented tat i might have taken too long, tats why she got fed up.. haha.. beats me. cant understand gals: go fast and they think ure rushing them; go slow and ure accused of being po2 mah1. give me a break.
sighz..im going to start from scratch i think. this time i'd treat her like i treat any other normal fren and see wat goes from there..(btw abt giving her small presents: i did, she was delighted i think..cant say wat i gave her here..but was something tat required effort of course. but i cant tell much from her reaction other than tat, not a +ve nor a -ve signal; i really catch no ball man, haha)
ya...tats all, thanks again for the advice.
cheers! -
Hmm... People say you can never TRULY understand a woman... But how easy have it been trying to UNDERSTAND a HUMAN...? Perhaps you can never FULLY understand a woman... But NOT knowing the woman you're interested in or you're having a relationship with is DEFINITELY a BIG NEGATIVITY....Originally posted by userid:few pp can escape the rat race, i need to work hard for myself anywayz. perhaps i will just ask her out once in a while for a casual date. some of my frens commented tat i might have taken too long, tats why she got fed up.. haha.. beats me. cant understand gals: go fast and they think ure rushing them; go slow and ure accused of being po2 mah1. give me a break.
sighz..im going to start from scratch i think. this time i'd treat her like i treat any other normal fren and see wat goes from there..(btw abt giving her small presents: i did, she was delighted i think..cant say wat i gave her here..but was something tat required effort of course. but i cant tell much from her reaction other than tat, not a +ve nor a -ve signal; i really catch no ball man, haha)
ya...tats all, thanks again for the advice.
cheers!
I say IF you're REALLY interested in her, should put in MORE EFFORT (but not put in EVERYTHING lah...)... Don't expect the LOVE to fall naturally from the sky.... But if you've already put in much EFFORT and gave SUFFICIENT hintS..... Then just let things be.... The relationship MIGHT START too if she's really interested in you... But I BET it still won't get you FAR if you don't try to know her BETTER? -
Ya hor, maybe I will fit her description, kekeke...Originally posted by joanne:wah lau..mike.. haha.. u date ruthie out lah, then see if she can accept u lah!!!
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
no leh,her most basic requirement is that u must be more than 5years older.. u not leh, so cannot make it lah.. haha..Originally posted by mikegk_76:Ya hor, maybe I will fit her description, kekeke...
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treasure your love ones before you regret...!~ -
Hurhurhurhur.... like that very cham because all quite lop-sided don't have all one....Originally posted by Ruth|E:Wahhahaha
*HURHURHUR*
all lah! i beri greedy!!
jus kiddin`
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So what if you manage to surpass her? So that the age old thinking that a man should be more capable than his wife can still hold? It sounds like you are using qualifications to find a wife.Originally posted by userid:thanks.
capability-wise i have faith that i will match and surpass her but right now have no chance to prove this. moreover any time now she can choose someone more established, and honestly i feel she should too, because shes not getting any younger and cant wait too long. -
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