Of Failed Marriages & 'Me'
-
Just to those with parents whose marriages have failed - either separated, divorced or merely maintaining the marriage for peace's sake or reasons other than love...
How've your relationships been so far? In general, I mean. Friendships, romantic relationships... As rocky? Or relatively smooth-sailing (like general folk)?
I just wanna hear... that's all. If it's not convenient to reply, then just keep it to yourself - it's perfectly alright. -
The only reason mine is together is because of us. Kinda separated but they think more of the interests of the children
Ups n downs , envious of families that are close knit , makes me wonder alot of things. -
hugs mooku*
are u back? -
so happy to see cow cow...
-
woah.....niece Mooku is emo...
-
Yes, I'm back... I think.
Thanks bbb... hello noopi...
Thanks maro for the reply....
And I suppose linyu finds it amusing that I'm posting this thread? -
well, my folks are still together...
got relatives who are separated... for more than 20 years..
their children, my cousins, had to grow up really fast and they did... i guess not much worse for wear from what i see...
they've their own loving family now..
i guess it's how the children make of the situation.. my cousins grew up really quickly and were mature enough to do the necessary...
be well yah?
-
if u need a listening ear, i can lend u mine.Originally posted by MooKu:Yes, I'm back... I think.
Thanks bbb... hello noopi...
Thanks maro for the reply....
And I suppose linyu finds it amusing that I'm posting this thread? -
Nah I'm okay.
Just wanted to hear from some of us here... -
Father deserted the family.
Myself married young, in a way to escape away from the 'broken' family so called.
In a way, because of the family's break, I chosed my hubby based on his career and personality.
In a relationship, where 2 persons need to work at it. I took for granted and it resulted eventually in my divorce.
I dont fault him because it was partly my taking for granted the stability and trust that had allowed for other innocent parties to break us up.
Recently, where I connect back with the father, then I can see roughly what went wrong with their marriages and what went wrong with mine.
And what is so right about the stepfamily I now have.
Its just a simple "focus less on oneself, but focus on providing for those around us". -
Though....my hands are still itching to smack it across the back of my younger siblings heads sometimes.
-
just remember this.
theirs r theirs. but ur duties as a child is do well of ur studies in SIM n not affect by families matter. -
hmmz mooku ake care and dun think too much hor
-
Originally posted by MooKu:Yes, I'm back... I think.
Thanks bbb... hello noopi...
Thanks maro for the reply....
And I suppose linyu finds it amusing that I'm posting this thread? forgot this is AA to make such lousy comment. nope. i'm glad i don't have to go thru this. hope you don't have to go thru this too -
No matter how, this will affect TS.
-
My relationship is mine to keep and maintain... Nothing to do with my parents'...Originally posted by MooKu:Just to those with parents whose marriages have failed - either separated, divorced or merely maintaining the marriage for peace's sake or reasons other than love...
How've your relationships been so far? In general, I mean. Friendships, romantic relationships... As rocky? Or relatively smooth-sailing (like general folk)?
I just wanna hear... that's all. If it's not convenient to reply, then just keep it to yourself - it's perfectly alright. -
Used to be like yourself... Envy of families which have close kins... But knowing them quite personally, I realised that most often than not... They've come a long way to be what it's like today...Originally posted by BadzMaro:The only reason mine is together is because of us. Kinda separated but they think more of the interests of the children
Ups n downs , envious of families that are close knit , makes me wonder alot of things.
Sometimes we don't have the best, but that doesn't mean we can't have the 2nd best... Used to be on VERY BAD terms with some of my family members... After a while everybody just got tired... Time is not a non-stopping and ongoing process... After a while everybody just continue to wilter and age.... Holding on the little things (or even the big things in the PAST) is sometimes not quite a practical thing to do... -
You feeling better already?Originally posted by browniebaobao:if u need a listening ear, i can lend u mine. -
my cousin's parents got divorced when he was in primary sch..since then he lived with his father aka my uncle..my cousin got his fair share of frens..and he has a gf of 2-3 yrs..i think the love from his cousins and aunties and uncles helped him alot..
-
forgot to mention my cousin is 22 now..Originally posted by tedted:my cousin's parents got divorced when he was in primary sch..since then he lived with his father aka my uncle..my cousin got his fair share of frens..and he has a gf of 2-3 yrs..i think the love from his cousins and aunties and uncles helped him alot.. -
Originally posted by MooKu:Just to those with parents whose marriages have failed - either separated, divorced or merely maintaining the marriage for peace's sake or reasons other than love...
How've your relationships been so far? In general, I mean. Friendships, romantic relationships... As rocky? Or relatively smooth-sailing (like general folk)?
I just wanna hear... that's all. If it's not convenient to reply, then just keep it to yourself - it's perfectly alright.
Don't let a chaotic domestic environment tie you down. Seriously.
It's insane trying to enlighten people, who have been vastly tainted repeatedly over a long stretch of time, learning twisted version of love from negative sources - the very source that they reckoned as 'reality'.
These 'realities' knitted and form part of their core beliefs - which will mimic the underlying elements of the negative sources which they first model after, resulting a bottomless pit cycle.
To lift from this curse, one has to dug deep into their soul and learn to understand their own psyche. Though we can't change our external environment, but surely we could do something about ourselves. And as we amend ourselves, we subtly affect and influence our external environment and gradually our destiny changes.
Don't get draggled by the negative stories of failed marriage and relationship. Instead, speak to couples with successful relationship and uncover their secret.
Cheers -
my parents are also together because of me and my sis.
then my family got 0 bonding totally. the only way we communicate is thru quarrels previously. now i just dont talk to them unless needed.
and somehow or rather, i developed a very lonewolf character. friendships very few. prefer to keep to myself. dont like crowds ba. sometimes i envy those who always have a big clique to hang out with. then i think back what for hang out and waste so much time when i can do stuff that i like, namely gaming lol.
romance wise, kinda despo. yearning for the feeling of someone to love and care for and to receive in return without the shoutings and quarrels. maybe is not that someone that i yearn for but the feelings ma.
ya i also envy those family with very strong bonds. i dont know how to talk to my parents. is like the action of talking doesnt exist. -
Well , look at the bright side. At least its an experience we can learn from it. I mean my sisters learns a different lesson from it , so did my older bro ,me.. i used to hate my parents. Then slowly, as u grow u realise , u start to think , well.. at least they loved us.. or commited in thier relationship to make sure we did our best. N at least me n my siblings didnt turn out to be fuked up ppl.
But then again , makes u wonder , to be happy in the future , or to continue ur parents legacy n forsake ur own happiness. mmmm~ Both my parents are workaholics. I remember they used to try to out do or buy our loyalties with material stuffs..
come to think of it , its like having double ang pow... or double the money.
Hardly see my parents , except my maid. Since young , been transferred here and there to live with mum or dad. THen got thrown overseas alone. Hell i hardly even knows my siblings! Come to think of it , i am only close to my older bro n sis cause we have similiar incidents. But they are doing way better then me. N i have decided to forsake my own happiness to try to better things with my parents. Did i make teh right choice ? Maybe~ maybe not. BUt i can only say whatever path i chose it has given me different experiences.
anyways i think i of topic just wanna rant~ how i feel. -
When the family elders cannot display good relationship management. Look for mentors.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Don't get draggled by the negative stories of failed marriage and relationship. Instead, speak to couples with successful relationship and uncover their secret.
It may be a old teacher that you knew, or someone you can really respect.
Listening too much to those who bemoans their failed relationships is like sticking to toxic friends, that influences you into too negative a thinking.
I look to my mentors and their down to earth grounded experiences with their wives. Especially one, that nurses his sick with cancer wife for 13 years before she died, with now 3 grown up scholars son that is my age.
You may find better examples with the older folks then those around your age group. -
Always remember.
No matter how hard it is. Your parents still loves you.