Originally posted by Qex:
how many of the forumnites here aren't close to their fathers?
For me father has sort of become an alien word. ya know, my dad was brought up the traditional style, he believed in the harsh punishment methods and never the caring, thoughtful parenting style which would deemed to be spoiling the child in the olden days.
This results in us drifting further n further, we must have spoke about less than 100 times in a year. From small, he nvr asked about our studies, or anything, much less our existence. I figured if I went missing someday, he wouldnt know until at least 1 month. Haiz, what I can do is to promise myself I would not take his footstep, i would try to take a big part of responsibility in raising my son, never letting him drift apart from me.
Sometimes, its just pride lah u know. The senior authority person (my dad) do sumthing wrong, refuse to admit or apologize to the junior authority which is me, this builds up an air of tension, resulting in disrespect, and so on and so on, in a vicious cycle that only increases with time.
I never knew fathers are important until I saw my friend's dad. His father was like his best friend, they would go drinking, ogling girls, playing games, cycling, everything together. Feel envy though. He had a father figure to look up to. For me, I had nothing to look up to, depending on myself. When sumthing screwed up, I would go to the rooftop or be in the room mulling over. Haiz.....
hmmm
i didn't think i was very close with my dad too.... but since i lost him, i realised that i was not close to him also because i didn't try to be closer to him...
now i regret not trying harder... my sis ever mentioned that even if he stayed with us for a few more years, things would not have changed much...
but at least if i had tried harder to bond more with him i won't feel that bad...
now i keep thinking of the things i have never done... like
i have never brought him on a holiday,
i never took him fishing (with he liked to do),
i never properly treated him to a nice dinner and thank him for being my dad,
i never told him how much he meant to me and how much i love him
i never......
we have to realise one thing.
our parents are old.... and in most cases, set in their ways.... if WE have to make the effort to learn/do things that interest them.
we cant expect them to actually learn IT, go clubbing, drinking or smoking (these activities may be too unhealthy for them) just to bond with us right? we cant possibly expect our parents to go rollerblading with us just because it's a sport we enjoy right?
TS, learn from my mistake... do things that you know your dad enjoy... or simply take him out for dinner to spend quality time with him.
i still remember my dad's face when i went over to his place with my sis... something so simple made him so happy. but yet we could not bring ourselves to do it more often...