Parents in Law living with you
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hi jojo
for the house rent, MIL & grandma did not get a single cent, all goes to one of the son.Who is divorce, now staying w his gf.
As for FIL, he of course wants MIL to remove the name so that both of them can go get their own house.i don't think MIL will get the house even if grandma passes away, dun forget her 5 sons will "haunt" my MIL for the house, since one of the son already "keeping" the rental for himself.
As for SIL, there was no arguement between her & PIL, is just one of her nasty auntie teach her not to let PIL stay w her, the aunt tell her my MIL no good, keep brain wash her.. -
Hmmmm.... don't you think the whole thing is kinda hokey ?Originally posted by tutu2:hi jojo
for the house rent, MIL & grandma did not get a single cent, all goes to one of the son.Who is divorce, now staying w his gf.
As for FIL, he of course wants MIL to remove the name so that both of them can go get their own house.i don't think MIL will get the house even if grandma passes away, dun forget her 5 sons will "haunt" my MIL for the house, since one of the son already "keeping" the rental for himself.
As for SIL, there was no arguement between her & PIL, is just one of her nasty auntie teach her not to let PIL stay w her, the aunt tell her my MIL no good, keep brain wash her..
Are you sure you are not being smoked by your in-laws ?
Did you verified the stories with the person in question? Or was it something someone cook up to pacify your doubts ?
Don't you think it seem like you married into a family of dingy brainless bunch ?
How can it be right ?
Maybe your PIL wants to live with your HB, they are just worried you won't let them, so they came up with a load of sob stories ??
Is it really true your MIL is no good?
Frankly, how gullible can your SIL be right ? -
Tutu2:Originally posted by tutu2:hi jojo
for the house rent, MIL & grandma did not get a single cent, all goes to one of the son.Who is divorce, now staying w his gf.
As for FIL, he of course wants MIL to remove the name so that both of them can go get their own house.i don't think MIL will get the house even if grandma passes away, dun forget her 5 sons will "haunt" my MIL for the house, since one of the son already "keeping" the rental for himself.
As for SIL, there was no arguement between her & PIL, is just one of her nasty auntie teach her not to let PIL stay w her, the aunt tell her my MIL no good, keep brain wash her..
If the flat is under yor MIL and her mom (ur grandma) only, after ur grandma pass away, it will automatically be transfered to ur MIL (usually it is done in this way). Then ur MIL and PIL will have the house. Think they are waiting for that. Ur grandma chase them away bcos she wanted to rent out the whole unit.
Lesson is nvr live with in laws...
Misty Blue:
agree with jojo. Is it bcos divorce is a taboo in our society? You think you are serving your sin here? Your MIL and PIL has neither been a gd thingy too. Just bcos they hold the title MIL and FIL, u got to tolerate them. The more you being gd to them, the more they take advantage of you. Just MIA. Leave the house. -
hi jojoOriginally posted by jojobeach:Hmmmm.... don't you think the whole thing is kinda hokey ?
Are you sure you are not being smoked by your in-laws ?
Did you verified the stories with the person in question? Or was it something someone cook up to pacify your doubts ?
Don't you think it seem like you married into a family of dingy brainless bunch ?
How can it be right ?
Maybe your PIL wants to live with your HB, they are just worried you won't let them, so they came up with a load of sob stories ??
Is it really true your MIL is no good?
Frankly, how gullible can your SIL be right ?
mayb u are right, my PIL are a bunch of brainless ppl, now hb aso gave up talking to them..so i guess we got to let them stay w us..
mm..PIL were not in very good terms, they are not like normal couple, they basically do not communicate, eg FIL want buy hse, MIL will 'pour' cold water saay "where got $$" ..they hv the mindset that no $ cannot buy hse..i know this is a geniune case, they are not cooking stories in the house thing. is the grandma that is cunning old fox..u know now she stay w son/grandson..err..she want grandson get married..but the condo has not enough rooms..so one of the grandson is gg oversea to work, not coming back..actually FIL dun like to stay w us, is MIL wants..FIL prefer to rent house outside but they hv no income so cannot rent..and i dun think is nice for them to rent since our hse hv spare room.
AS for MIL, she is alright, just a little bit slow,tat SIL is hopeless one lah.. -
looks like living with PIL are a pain....
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I feel sorry for you. I understand exactly how you feel to live with someone so different.Originally posted by mistyblue:Yeah good and bad.
my MIL says things without thinking and creates a number of quarrel between us one of which my husband wanted a divorce and we are not even 1 year into the marriage. She complains alot to my husband and this creates stress for him. She treats me differently when my husband is around or not around. Treats herself as the queen of the house - the living room, kitchen and everything is arranged in the manner that suits her - so I stay in my room. She cooks but sometimes I wish she does not cause, some stuff are not edible at all like fish slice with potato soup. Her cooking, I don't really like and she likes to do it over the top and in huge quantities that we throw away lots cause no one can finish. And she leaves all the cookingware allover unwashed till weekend then maybe when I feel like it, I clean up after her. My husband and I are the maid cause she eats and drinks everywhere and leaves the cups and bowls for me to collect and wash. Everyone gives in and she's always right. The kids my MIL take care are my BIL kids. So I don't give a damn if she teach them the wrong things or does not discipline them. I just hope they grow up quickly and stay away from my place. my FIL is a quiet man. My MIL had commented that she is and will always be the one and only one to boss people around and she will be the one and only one to throw tempers.
I can accept everything but I find it hard that even as I try to give in, she is still unhappy that at times I reject doing things or didn't know she kept food for me and she will complain and make such a drama out of small thing as if the world is going to end. The worse part is my husband listens and he is after all her son, so he agrees and supports her. So there is no contest or conflict there. At times, I feel like moving out on my own. There are good and bad, but it depends on individual personality. My MIL and my character are direct opposite. I like peace and quiet and non-confrontational. She is loud and brash and over the top controlling with a strong aggressive shrew confrontational style. Its nothing wrong. Its just her. And its just me and we both rub each other wrong.
You can choose you husbands, but you cannot choose his family.
Headache isnt it... -
hi..
actually everyday i see my MIL, i can't help worry for her..she's suffering from mild depression..hence she cant think properly, do work properly..u see her, u will know she's sick but she just refuse to see doc..say waste $$..but wen she buy 4D, she nvr say waste $$$
she alwys has FULL of excuse, saying tired, wait until she's free..she nvr cleans fan, aircon filter..toilet etc..until i start washing, then she says "'oh., i wanted to clean but duno now to open the fan, the toilet i wash 2 weeks ago, u no need to wash".. 
..i was like toilet shd wash weekly or twice a week cos u use daily! omg..even my hb aso cannot tahan her..i tell hb if got kids i wont want her to take care..cos she cant even take care of herself..she will cope herself in house whole day, when FIL goes market & cook..ask her to join FIL , she will blame that FIL dun want to wait for her ..she will ask FIL buy this, that for her, then ask her go buy herself, she will say 'lazy' ..basically, she blame everybody for everything, i gave up 
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today she complain of neckache..bcos last dec she had a fall at home..but refuse to see doc..she kept saying she's fine,.until recently, me aso fall & trip my ankle..but my recover was much faster cos i go tui na
then she tell my hb she got relapse, neck pain, hand cannot rise..we bot her to see doc once, already gave her the address to go see doc by herself..but she needs somebody to accompany her to go..she says fil refuse to go with her..why she can't go by herself ?!? can someone teach me how to handle her ?? i am at wits end
..even my hb aso frustrated with her, sometime i tell my hb, maybe at nite u go sleep in her room to take care of her -
Your MIL wants attention.Originally posted by tutu2:today she complain of neckache..bcos last dec she had a fall at home..but refuse to see doc..she kept saying she's fine,.until recently, me aso fall & trip my ankle..but my recover was much faster cos i go tui na
then she tell my hb she got relapse, neck pain, hand cannot rise..we bot her to see doc once, already gave her the address to go see doc by herself..but she needs somebody to accompany her to go..she says fil refuse to go with her..why she can't go by herself ?!? can someone teach me how to handle her ?? i am at wits end..even my hb aso frustrated with her, sometime i tell my hb, maybe at nite u go sleep in her room to take care of her
Since your MIL and FIL not very close.
Your MIL is lonely. It's the "pity me" syndrome.
Since your SIL don't let their children go near your MIL, it probably makes her feel even more worthless.
She needs something to occupy her time.
Why your FIL don't go with her ? I mean, he is her husband.
What does your FIL do ? Is he still working ? Why is he not free to go with her ? -
hi jojo,Originally posted by jojobeach:Your MIL wants attention.
Since your MIL and FIL not very close.
Your MIL is lonely. It's the "pity me" syndrome.
Since your SIL don't let their children go near your MIL, it probably makes her feel even more worthless.
She needs something to occupy her time.
Why your FIL don't go with her ? I mean, he is her husband.
What does your FIL do ? Is he still working ? Why is he not free to go with her ?
Yesterday she got temple ask abt her neckache iso see doc
SIL got no kid..even she has she wont let her kid come
Both PIL are not working, FIL & MIL cannot click..cos my MIL walk very slow..he dosent like to go out with her.if they do go out, is like walking 50meters apart..he has crossed the road while she still have not ..
Teach me who can occupy her time ?
ask her go exercise, she says ''Lazy",
go temple pray, she says ''too far, too crowded" she just dosent wants to do anything ALONE. she just has a billion excusesesss.. -
be friend with other old folks. go void deck and mix with some old folks there. having people to talk to make them happier. she need someone to push her. go nearby temple.
old people always got a square mind, depends alot on the hb, when hb didnt do anything, they will not do anything too. so is best that she has other friend who can give her the kick -
You have just solved the mystery.Originally posted by tutu2:hi jojo,
Yesterday she got temple ask abt her neckache iso see doc
SIL got no kid..even she has she wont let her kid come
Both PIL are not working, FIL & MIL cannot click..cos my MIL walk very slow..he dosent like to go out with her.if they do go out, is like walking 50meters apart..he has crossed the road while she still have not ..
Teach me who can occupy her time ?
ask her go exercise, she says ''Lazy",
go temple pray, she says ''too far, too crowded" she just dosent wants to do anything ALONE. she just has a billion excusesesss..
She is lonely, and she wants someone to accompany her to do things.
Maybe she needs to go visit some senior centers to get to know more friends.
If she has friends, they can go out do things together.
Do you read this blog ??
http://laozhabor.blogspot.com/
The author has a friend to go do stuff together.
They are unstoppable... very cute seniors...
Is your FIL strong enough to push a wheelchair ?
If your MIL don't mind sitting in one.. maybe FIL can push her ...kekkeke...
Or maybe a walker might help your MIL get around faster ? -
she dosent wants to go out, how to make fren?Originally posted by dreamykite:be friend with other old folks. go void deck and mix with some old folks there. having people to talk to make them happier. she need someone to push her. go nearby temple.
old people always got a square mind, depends alot on the hb, when hb didnt do anything, they will not do anything too. so is best that she has other friend who can give her the kick -
watch tv and listen to radio also can occupied time and change her mind.
is it that she only go out if her hb go out, listen only to her hb that kind?
she needs a company,woman mah. maybe a grandson er. -
mmm..visist senior citizen centre is nono for her..cos she says these pple 'dirty' duno got wat disease..she has no frens..Originally posted by jojobeach:You have just solved the mystery.
She is lonely, and she wants someone to accompany her to do things.
Maybe she needs to go visit some senior centers to get to know more friends.
If she has friends, they can go out do things together.
Do you read this blog ??
http://laozhabor.blogspot.com/
The author has a friend to go do stuff together.
They are unstoppable... very cute seniors...
Is your FIL strong enough to push a wheelchair ?
If your MIL don't mind sitting in one.. maybe FIL can push her ...kekkeke...
Or maybe a walker might help your MIL get around faster ?
i thot this blogspot only for show in Law & order?
haha..wheelchair..she dosent want, she find it disgrace. my FIL propose a NTUC trolley for her to sit inside.. -
ya..as i mention lor..she watches TV whole day long..sit there like a couch..Originally posted by dreamykite:watch tv and listen to radio also can occupied time and change her mind.
is it that she only go out if her hb go out, listen only to her hb that kind?
she needs a company,woman mah. maybe a grandson er.
no..she dosent click w hb..she just need company..i wont dare to let her take care of any baby since she cant even take care of herself -
Then bring friends to her lah.Originally posted by tutu2:she dosent wants to go out, how to make fren?
Throw senior parties..or have mahjong sessions at your home lor.....
Invite a few seniors... maybe some handsome old man.. your FIL might want to pay more attention to his wifey lah. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Then bring friends to her lah.
Throw senior parties..or have mahjong sessions at your home lor.....
Invite a few seniors... maybe some handsome old man.. your FIL might want to pay more attention to his wifey lah.
hi jojo
my life dun revolves around her only leh..
mm..they dun like to interact with others..then they will say ''this one not my house, i cannot invite frens here, i got no house"
they keeping repeating infront of me -
every morning when we go to work, she will stare blankly at the wall
ask her go down for a walk, she say haben change clothes..u ask her more time, she will hide in the rm and dun come out -
This is when it would be really useful to introduce religion into their lives
tutu - It is frustrating. But some things and people cannot be changed. Perhaps just accept and live with it. -
hi choco..
thanks, i also understand i cant force her to be like me..but is for her own good..i guess i will hv to live with it..i am just here to vent my frustration.. nothing else lor , cos nobody can help me
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hi..
hb and i was out of town last few days..left the PIL at home..so far..they survived..but FIL complain abt MIL too..hahaa.. -
Misty n Tutu... after reading your posts n it made me worried abt my own future
hope things work out for you gals n i salute your resolve to stay in your marriage
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hi the_donOriginally posted by the_don:Misty n Tutu... after reading your posts n it made me worried abt my own future
hope things work out for you gals n i salute your resolve to stay in your marriage
no worries for me lah, i m just here to vent my frustration, i m lucky that my hb supports me, he is very understanding, we believe time will solve this problem