Disheartened with my personal life
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dun you have any frens?
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Originally posted by pete_parker:
Improve yr quality of outing. Put in some effort on the outing to make it memorable and the gal will get hook on u! But go it slowly,don't first outing already give the gal a big surprise!
Ever since my previous relationship ended 4 years ago, my personal life all this while has been in a pathetic state of slump. Many times after work, I would feel that déjà vu sense of awful loneliness as most of my colleagues have someone to meet whilst I’ll just be heading home as usual. Sometimes I would bump into old classmates and see them happily shopping with their gf, whilst I would have to lie about meeting someone later when I’m actually just shopping alone. On weekends and special occasion like Xmas, everyone would have someone special to be with, everyone apart from me…
I’ve been asking myself quite a few times – [b]just what’s wrong with my life or am I doing something wrong?
Sometimes I even ponder if IÂ’ve been cursed or what?! ItÂ’s like these few years, I canÂ’t seem improve the state of my relationship life, no matter what I do.
Each time I see a gal I like, I would tell myself to give it a short – better to fail than regret not trying right. But for some inexplicable reasons, even after knowing each other for some time, she would never seem to call or sms me on her own. Even when I initiate contact, for example sms-ing her, the response is usually somewhat slow & the reply short (like how u would treat someone u don’t rely care about).
Whilst she does not detest me and we even meet up occasionally, I know I donÂ’t mean much to that her. Unless I keep on contacting on my own, I would just gradually fade away from that personÂ’s life.
And this kind of scenario repeats itself continuously over all the different relationships i've tried to develop these few yrs.
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thanx for the all replies, particularly mistyblue, jojobeach, BÃ¥seline & ispyyy
hey Eng_director, ur words rely reflect some of my heartfelt thoughts.. guess onli people who have been thru similar situation would understand that feelings..Originally posted by EngAudListCo_Director:I understand that all the pursuit/acheivement of goals and dreams will not compensate for the loneliness/emptiness in your heart but at least these are the things that you have better control of. As some forumers might add, widening your social circles of frens is also another alternative. It can be done through taking up new courses or activities.
All the best in your pursuit of your own happiness.
i understand what some of u are trying to tell me --- i should focus on things which is i can control, e.g. expanding my social life, taking up classes, concentrate on my career etc rather than dwelling on things which is outside my realm of control.
I too would like to concentrate on school & work..hmm... just that occasionally when the loneliness creeps up on me, like when i've having dinner alone when i see some lovey-dovey couple sitting opposite me, or how i'm dumbfound when people ask me about my plans for the coming weekends .. i'll sink into a depressive mode and ponder how did my life end up in this state?
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Originally posted by pete_parker:
1) Why you break up?
Ever since my previous relationship ended 4 years ago, my personal life all this while has been in a pathetic state of slump. Many times after work, I would feel that déjà vu sense of awful loneliness as most of my colleagues have someone to meet whilst I’ll just be heading home as usual. Sometimes I would bump into old classmates and see them happily shopping with their gf, whilst I would have to lie about meeting someone later when I’m actually just shopping alone. On weekends and special occasion like Xmas, everyone would have someone special to be with, everyone apart from me…
I’ve been asking myself quite a few times – [b]just what’s wrong with my life or am I doing something wrong?
Sometimes I even ponder if IÂ’ve been cursed or what?! ItÂ’s like these few years, I canÂ’t seem improve the state of my relationship life, no matter what I do.
Each time I see a gal I like, I would tell myself to give it a short – better to fail than regret not trying right. But for some inexplicable reasons, even after knowing each other for some time, she would never seem to call or sms me on her own. Even when I initiate contact, for example sms-ing her, the response is usually somewhat slow & the reply short (like how u would treat someone u don’t rely care about).
Whilst she does not detest me and we even meet up occasionally, I know I donÂ’t mean much to that her. Unless I keep on contacting on my own, I would just gradually fade away from that personÂ’s life.
And this kind of scenario repeats itself continuously over all the different relationships i've tried to develop these few yrs.
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2) is she your first ?
3) If not how many exs do you have before her?
4) did you sleep with her ?
5) what lesson do you learn from the breakup? -
Originally posted by pete_parker:
Hi peter parker,
Ever since my previous relationship ended 4 years ago, my personal life all this while has been in a pathetic state of slump. Many times after work, I would feel that déjà vu sense of awful loneliness as most of my colleagues have someone to meet whilst I’ll just be heading home as usual. Sometimes I would bump into old classmates and see them happily shopping with their gf, whilst I would have to lie about meeting someone later when I’m actually just shopping alone. On weekends and special occasion like Xmas, everyone would have someone special to be with, everyone apart from me…
I’ve been asking myself quite a few times – [b]just what’s wrong with my life or am I doing something wrong?
Sometimes I even ponder if IÂ’ve been cursed or what?! ItÂ’s like these few years, I canÂ’t seem improve the state of my relationship life, no matter what I do.
Each time I see a gal I like, I would tell myself to give it a short – better to fail than regret not trying right. But for some inexplicable reasons, even after knowing each other for some time, she would never seem to call or sms me on her own. Even when I initiate contact, for example sms-ing her, the response is usually somewhat slow & the reply short (like how u would treat someone u don’t rely care about).
Whilst she does not detest me and we even meet up occasionally, I know I donÂ’t mean much to that her. Unless I keep on contacting on my own, I would just gradually fade away from that personÂ’s life.
And this kind of scenario repeats itself continuously over all the different relationships i've tried to develop these few yrs.
[/b]
Here's wondering when the tides will turn. -
Here...I throw in my story.
Married, pregnant, travelled, acquired diplomas, divorced. And that was the most peaceful happy 5 years of my life. (Read on to know why)
Buys over flat, putting myself into debt. Brings in mother to live with me so brother can go UK to study.
Mother was a drama mama with a really biatchy temper. There was typically a once a month major drama at home everytime. (It was thankfully reduced to once ever 3 months after some avoiding to be at home kinda strategy by myself.)
Discovered cancer, did some treatment, recovered, had a hit and run accident where I couldnt find a job for a year and half because I was limping. I was thankfully supported financially thru my Volunteer work.
Brother is renagding on his promises to take care of mother after he gradutated. Mother is biatchy because she wants to live with her son. And me being the rejected lowly educated useless daughter with my small lousy 3 room flat is 'holding' her back.
Had numerous boyfriends. Some are just nice kids that cant catch up with my activities.
Kept myself as busy as ever to stay sane, getting vehicular licence, learning social & latin dances, picking up certificates courses & meeting new people thru the forum or thru friends of friends. Goes motorcycle touring & is thankfully invited to USA to help cook & mind the nephew & neice.
been here for 6 months and finally getting ready to face the world again. -
You seem to know exactly what you need to do. I don't understand why you "sink into a depressive mode and ponder "...Originally posted by pete_parker:i understand --- i should focus on things which is i can control, e.g. expanding my social life, taking up classes.....
.. i'll sink into a depressive mode and ponder how did my life end up in this state?
You do not want to do the necessary: "expanding my social life, taking up classes....." so why the depression? It is not like you do not know what to do or you cannot do it.
and what's with the pondering? no more pondering... you need to "expanding ...social life, taking up classes....." -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:"expanding ...social life, taking up classes....."
Try taking up salsa dancing.
Its a nicely comfortable, non heavy impact sport activity.
And you are going to be meeting a lot of people, professional young ladies especially if you join those dance classes in Shenton way/Town or Suntec Millenia Tower.
NS or reservists should be able to get discounts for the classes.
And your only investment is 2 hours a week, a deodarant & preferably your normal office shoes and clothing. -
viciouskitty, I feel sad for you.
Take care, k? -
A man is most charming doing his own pursue of a better life and for the love of it.
I doubt your ex will ever love you this way.
There is someone better out there. Go for a better life! -
Well..Spiderman.. just enjoy singlehood lah...your yuan not here yet. My partner was once like you. Is better to choose the right one than to be someone you hard to break off later (glued to you hor), worse of all, control your social life. Just keep your eye open big big and catch the right one hor. Perseverance will give you results! Good luck!Originally posted by pete_parker:thanx for the all replies, particularly mistyblue, jojobeach, BÃ¥seline & ispyyy
hey Eng_director, ur words rely reflect some of my heartfelt thoughts.. guess onli people who have been thru similar situation would understand that feelings..
i understand what some of u are trying to tell me --- i should focus on things which is i can control, e.g. expanding my social life, taking up classes, concentrate on my career etc rather than dwelling on things which is outside my realm of control.
I too would like to concentrate on school & work..hmm... just that occasionally when the loneliness creeps up on me, like when i've having dinner alone when i see some lovey-dovey couple sitting opposite me, or how i'm dumbfound when people ask me about my plans for the coming weekends .. i'll sink into a depressive mode and ponder how did my life end up in this state? -
Thank you.Originally posted by tingal79:viciouskitty, I feel sad for you.
Take care, k?
Am fine. -
Why not for a start try preparing yourself first. E.g. improve your looks by dressing better? Getting a haircut? Going gym?
Also err....try to excel in your career and earn more money. At least u are preparing yourself to be more attractive, and do things which you can control. -
Jitterbugs studio should be starting new Salsa Casino Rueda Classes again soon in September.
Folks planning to take that, has to at least take on Salsa Basic classes first.
So do consider basic classes now.