Third Party
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Recently 2 good friends of mine, a guy A and a girl B, just broke up. As a friend, what can I do to help them move on/patch up etc.
Here is the story. Start of this year, we graduated from our respective secondary schools and went to MI for our 1st 3 months of education. A and B hit off pretty well and during class outings the class would occasionally tease them as being together. They eventually got together around the end of our 3 months and we separated to our respective JC/Poly.
Around 2 months later, I noticed A was feeling down and asked him what was wrong. Remembering B was close with him, I asked her and she vaguely replied 'sometimes people are sad'.
Few days later I chatted with A on MSN and he told me everything. Apparently, he was 'caught' going out with a girl. His story was they were just friends and barely went out 3 times.
Coincidentally, B MSN'ed me a few days later and she being the girl, no offense har, was more emotional and chatted with me more frequently talking about the good times we had in MI and just poured her woes to me in general.
Considering how long it has been since they broke up, I thought by now they would have moved on but apparently not. Women forgive but never forget I guess. It seems that their relationship is already over and there is no hope for reconciliation.
So what should I do. Note: Im not kaypo hor just a good friend to both of them. And the rest of the class is probably clueless about this incident. -
1) Just ignore and stay out of it.Originally posted by cApitaland:Recently 2 good friends of mine, a guy A and a girl B, just broke up. As a friend, what can I do to help them move on/patch up etc.
Here is the story. Start of this year, we graduated from our respective secondary schools and went to MI for our 1st 3 months of education. A and B hit off pretty well and during class outings the class would occasionally tease them as being together. They eventually got together around the end of our 3 months and we separated to our respective JC/Poly.
Around 2 months later, I noticed A was feeling down and asked him what was wrong. Remembering B was close with him, I asked her and she vaguely replied 'sometimes people are sad'.
Few days later I chatted with A on MSN and he told me everything. Apparently, he was 'caught' going out with a girl. His story was they were just friends and barely went out 3 times.
Coincidentally, B MSN'ed me a few days later and she being the girl, no offense har, was more emotional and chatted with me more frequently talking about the good times we had in MI and just poured her woes to me in general.
Considering how long it has been since they broke up, I thought by now they would have moved on but apparently not. Women forgive but never forget I guess. It seems that their relationship is already over and there is no hope for reconciliation.
So what should I do. Note: Im not kaypo hor just a good friend to both of them. And the rest of the class is probably clueless about this incident.
2) Doing nothing helps becos you are a bit too close to B -
like that considered 3rd party meh?
i thought its gonna be 1 of those, both seperated, then i got close to the girl, and now how am i gonna face the guy etc.
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Nothin u can do wor..u dont wan to make it worse..jux let things be lor..
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MYOB.
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Hey TS, i agree to zeny on this.....may end up A getting angry with uOriginally posted by zeny:1) Just ignore and stay out of it.
2) Doing nothing helps becos you are a bit too close to B -
imho...
find out if A still loves B and B still loves A.
if they do, encourage the girl to forgive and the guy to apploguise. flowers works best.
since you're in this position, and u care for both of them (enough to seek help here anyway) its a good chance for you to get them back together.
anyway its you're call, if u feel they 2 shouldn't be together, enourage then to move one. and if u like the girl, heres your chance.
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Time is the best medicine to heal heart break
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knn u must be the freaking 3rd party
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pui
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totally agreeOriginally posted by uglyguy:imho...
find out if A still loves B and B still loves A.
if they do, encourage the girl to forgive and the guy to apploguise. flowers works best.
since you're in this position, and u care for both of them (enough to seek help here anyway) its a good chance for you to get them back together.
anyway its you're call, if u feel they 2 shouldn't be together, enourage then to move one. and if u like the girl, heres your chance.
Except last sentence... -
actually my advice is not to be involved.. as in, dun try to come between them to solve the prob. no matter wat, its their relationship. if they want to find someone to talk to, u just listen.... give suggestions, but not solutions.Originally posted by cApitaland:Recently 2 good friends of mine, a guy A and a girl B, just broke up. As a friend, what can I do to help them move on/patch up etc.
Here is the story. Start of this year, we graduated from our respective secondary schools and went to MI for our 1st 3 months of education. A and B hit off pretty well and during class outings the class would occasionally tease them as being together. They eventually got together around the end of our 3 months and we separated to our respective JC/Poly.
Around 2 months later, I noticed A was feeling down and asked him what was wrong. Remembering B was close with him, I asked her and she vaguely replied 'sometimes people are sad'.
Few days later I chatted with A on MSN and he told me everything. Apparently, he was 'caught' going out with a girl. His story was they were just friends and barely went out 3 times.
Coincidentally, B MSN'ed me a few days later and she being the girl, no offense har, was more emotional and chatted with me more frequently talking about the good times we had in MI and just poured her woes to me in general.
Considering how long it has been since they broke up, I thought by now they would have moved on but apparently not. Women forgive but never forget I guess. It seems that their relationship is already over and there is no hope for reconciliation.
So what should I do. Note: Im not kaypo hor just a good friend to both of them. And the rest of the class is probably clueless about this incident.
all the best!
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ignore A... strike B while the iron is hot.
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Originally posted by niu.niu:ignore A... strike B while the iron is hot.
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Thanks for the replies guys.
Thing is I see B as a younger sister and A as a good buddy of mine. I'm not interested in B in that manner. I'm also not the third party.
What I wanted was probably for them to patch things up cause I never was a fan of breaking up on a bad note. I'm probably being too idealistic here.
I guess I'll just console them and hopefully get them to move on. REALLY move on. I was not in a relationship before
so I wouldn't know exactly how it feels like. My closest guess would be having your best friend talk bad about you or something. Thanks anyway. 
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its up to you, i have save dozens of relationships by reassureing them their relationship still has a chance, and both parties still care for each other and the main point of the qurrel was coz they did care for each other.
Anyway pretty hard for the guy, unless he is willing to humble himself and apploguise to the girl... and win her trust back. don't think its gonna be easy.
Well... personally, i think u care for both of them, and if u feel they are better off juz as friends, then so be it. its a decision for you to make, not for anyone of us to.
well, as the saying goes, strike when the iron is hot.Originally posted by popikachu:totally agree
Except last sentence...