Confused...
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It was almost the beginning of the new year. I just got myself a new job but I was in very low spirits because I was heartbroken from a failed relation. There was this very pretty colleague of mine who was (from my point of view) trying very hard to get my attention. She would so frequently call me at my desk to chat and kept singing praises of me. "You are a very kind person", "You are the type that can easily get attention", "I'll always remember you, forever" etc etc... She would keep her eyes on me whenever there was chance. She was very bold with words and actions, being extremely 'friendly'. I was thinking: "I don't really know her that well, why is she behaving as if we know each other for a long time?" I still kept my distance from her, possibly because I was still sorrow from my previous relation.
Months passed, she was still very keen on 'getting my attention'. I was slowly recovering from my broken heart. We've became closer now, oftentimes we chat for long hours, go home together, and I was beginning to feel very comfortable with her. I noticed that she was very sociable, and thought that previously I was being too sensitive of her behaviour - I guessed she must be as 'friendly' to other guys as well. On the other hand, when I talked on the phone, she would keep asking me if it was my girlfriend I was talking to, but then she knew long ago that I don't have a steady relation. Sometimes, she would even touch my chest, thighs, etc. I felt that she was abit overdoing sometimes, but didn't really bothered about it.
I found out she had a boyfriend - and the most surprising thing is that her boyfriend is actually our colleague as well. They didn't seemed to be very close at all. She never even mentioned him once during our chats. I've noticed that she would try her best to avoid some people (esp her BF) see us go home together. Why would she behave as though we are doing something very wrong? Sometimes, I felt that I was like stealing an affair. Sheesh...
There was once she told me: "There's nothing wrong about loving someone. You should always let the other person know if you like him/her. So, do you have someone in your heart?"
I don't know if this is what we call flirting. I began to start flirting with her as well. She didn't even complain one bit about me being too 'physical' (touch here and there).
More recently, I noticed that she 'tamed' down abit, being less initiative. I don't know if it is due to the fact that she has quite a busy schedule during that time?
1. She's not young, in her late 20s, does it make sense for her to play these games?
2. What is she trying to do? Is she just really being friendly, or is she trying to toy with my feelings?
3. Is she trying to make use of me for her own purposes?
4. Are we crossing the borderline of friendship? Are we actually flirting?
5. What do you think is happening? What do you think I should do?
I'm really confused... -
Three Don'ts For Ya :
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1. Dun assume anything.
2. Dun play with fire. Just be colleagues.
3. Dun even think of her. You are now the third party in a relationship. Technically speaking, if u r a girl, u would have been labelled a bitch or a slut. -
She was the one who started this 'game'!Originally posted by xavier1979:3. Dun even think of her. You are now the third party in a relationship. Technically speaking, if u r a girl, u would have been labelled a bitch or a slut.
Anyway, as for being the third party, is it really a wrong thing? I know I may sound a like a very bad person, but I believe that being in a relation is first of all trying to see if the other party suits you well. If he/she is suitable, then maybe at the right time can talk about marriage. But if you are in a relation, and someone whom you think is more suitable for you appears in your life and you know that this _IS_ the person for you, should you try to refrain yourself just because you have a relation already? Afterall, it is now the time for you to choose and find the right person for you. Marriage would be a totally different thing altogether, because you have made the choice and made your vows.
I know I may sound abit too much, and it seems to be a wrong thing to do. I've always thought so too, until a friend explained to me. I agreed with her totally, and it didn't have to mean that I treat a relation irresponsibly. -
She started it, but you do not need to play along with it...Originally posted by Headache:She was the one who started this 'game'! -
so what...
she start, you follow, you also dio blame later, jump inside singapore river also wash cannot clean leh
you want to kena make use of issit?
she maybe quarreled with the guy then now use you to make him jealous.
avoid people from office see you go for lunch? siao, singapore how big onli, how to avoid?
end of the day, trust your gut feeling, if your gut say she bitch, then siam her... if you bad gut (like gut feeling always not accurate), i wish you good luck
if you really really got guts, call her boyboy out and 1 to 1 TALK HOR... you fight not my fault har... remember to stay cool. At least liddat more "gentleman", clear up the situation properly, not end up as 3rd party -
There isn't really 'right' or 'wrong' in such relationships... Just feeling more or less for yourself... The others involved..... Complications..? Your friend's explanation...? There can very well be another that's against you... You choose your pick....Originally posted by Headache:I know I may sound abit too much, and it seems to be a wrong thing to do. I've always thought so too, until a friend explained to me. I agreed with her totally, and it didn't have to mean that I treat a relation irresponsibly.
But ultimately it's your own life... You make your own decision...? Just have to understand if you can take it..? Not everybody is able to and is prepared to handle such a kind of relationship...? Especially when the lady's motive is UNCLEAR...? Who knows very well one day that she might turn against you and saying that you're just a 3rd party between them...? We might know the truth... You might know... Your friend might know... But would you be bothered by how the others would think...? Especially the FACT that the both of them are your colleagues...? ANY disputes and you know you're gonna get it right up CLOSE 'in your face'.....
I say it's YOUR LIFE.... You DECIDE?
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i dun have that great an impression of gals in general these days. not that the impression is bad.. it's just not as good as it used to be.
protect urself. becos when a guy gets hurt he is still deemed a bastard. go read the thread about how gals are hurt in a reln and guys aren't.
technically speaking if u've develop romantic feelings towards her and she's attached, just get the hell out. if it's pure frenship then there's nothing to be worried about. hold ur dignity up high.
one point intrigued me, that she had a bf, somemore a fellow colleague and she didn't tell u, nor could it be seen. that's just bullocks. if i was attached the whole world would know. i'm just that proud of her. i'll be overjoyed to tell everyone that i have the pleasure of having her by my side. it's something i can't help!
so to all those out there who keep ur bf/gf in the closet, maybe they deserve more than mothballs for supper. your fren is one of them, and commands no respect from me.