advice is urgently needed

• heartbroke

  2 Jul 07, 13:56

  I got a friend who is dating with a SG guy for 1.5 yr already. But this guy does not want to bring the girl to see his family members. He is divorced. His "official" excuse is that he must choose his partner carefully this particular time before bringing her to his family. And he is always late for the dating. No hanging out with my gf.
  
  1, i think this guy is not tat serious about the relationship with my friend. cos 1.5 yr is long enough to know each other. He seems happy, but not proud of having my friend as girlfriend. cos when you are proud of something, you wanna show it to every1, right?
  
  2, any1 can enlighten me why this guy is doing this kind of "hide and seek" game. Maybe her china id makes him reluctant?
  3, I can't convince my friend that the relationship is not healthy. can any1 help me?
  
• DC+

  2 Jul 07, 13:57

  why are you 'heartbroke'? u have feelings for your friend huh?
• Darkness_hacker99

  2 Jul 07, 13:58

  AA Guideline.
  
  I) Whenever possible, try not to post people's problem. If possible, introduce them to SGF AA and get them to post instead. Firstly, it's not very nice to post people's problems in a public forum like this? And even if they allow it, I believe that they are still the best person to relate their agony?
  
• Cool-gal

  2 Jul 07, 14:02

  Originally posted by DC+:

  why are you 'heartbroke'? u have feelings for your friend huh?

  
• heartbroke

  2 Jul 07, 14:02

  Dear all,
  
  This massage is my fren wrote to me and asked me to help her to posted, pls give ur constructive suggestion thx
• de_middle

  2 Jul 07, 14:05

  Originally posted by heartbroke:

  I got a friend who is dating with a SG guy for 1.5 yr already. But this guy does not want to bring the girl to see his family members. He is divorced. His "official" excuse is that he must choose his partner carefully this particular time before bringing her to his family. And he is always late for the dating. No hanging out with my gf.
  
  1, i think this guy is not tat serious about the relationship with my friend. cos 1.5 yr is long enough to know each other. He seems happy, but not proud of having my friend as girlfriend. cos when you are proud of something, you wanna show it to every1, right?
  
  2, any1 can enlighten me why this guy is doing this kind of "hide and seek" game. Maybe her china id makes him reluctant?
  3, I can't convince my friend that the relationship is not healthy. can any1 help me?
  

  could very well be part of the reason
• Mid9Sun

  2 Jul 07, 14:07

  Seems like the guy's not really serious abt your friend.
  
  I would say your friend should cut her losses and move on.
• DC+

  2 Jul 07, 14:08

  Originally posted by heartbroke:

  Dear all,
  
  This massage is my fren wrote to me and asked me to help her to posted, pls give ur constructive suggestion thx

  Dear You,
  
  Your 3rd statement contradicts everything.
  
  "3, I can't convince my friend that the relationship is not healthy. can any1 help me? "
  
  If it was your friend who ask you to post this, why dosent your post contain elements of your friend personal life, stories, etc that relates to her and is uniquely hers instead of you?
  
  Thank You.
  
  
• zeny

  2 Jul 07, 14:16

  Originally posted by heartbroke:

  I got a friend who is dating with a SG guy for 1.5 yr already. But this guy does not want to bring the girl to see his family members. He is divorced. His "official" excuse is that he must choose his partner carefully this particular time before bringing her to his family. And he is always late for the dating. No hanging out with my gf.
  
  1, i think this guy is not tat serious about the relationship with my friend. cos 1.5 yr is long enough to know each other. He seems happy, but not proud of having my friend as girlfriend. cos when you are proud of something, you wanna show it to every1, right?
  
  2, any1 can enlighten me why this guy is doing this kind of "hide and seek" game. Maybe her china id makes him reluctant?
  3, I can't convince my friend that the relationship is not healthy. can any1 help me?
  

  1) Ask your friend why she like him in the first place?
  
  2) Ask your friend if he countinues to be like this will she break up with him or not?
  
  3) Ask your friend is he the one that she wants to get married?
  
  4) Ask your friend is there any other man other than him?
• jojobeach

  2 Jul 07, 15:04

  Given the bad reputation about China brides.
  
  He is most likely being extra cautious.
  If your friend is sincere about the relationship.
  She will need to put in extra extra effort and time to win his trust and 100% acceptance.
  
  1.5 years is not very long.
  She may need to invest another 3-5 years to prove to him and others, that she is not taking him for a one way meal ticket.
  
  
• nanren4ever

  2 Jul 07, 19:56

  TS, u said it in 1 of your paragraph that the guy is a divorcee? Could be the reason why he is so apprehensive about this new relationship this time round. 1.5 years, while not short, is not long either. Seeing the guy's parents means a committment. The guy probably needs to know the girl just a while longer before deciding if she's the one for him. If she feels that he is hiding something from her, or cheating on her, then maybe the girl and the guy should have a heart to heart talk.