should i go for it?
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thanks really appreciate itOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:no problem mate, sorry I am no help to you...
but im not a young guy so im looking for some down to ground advises..or down to earth...
sorry... -
she wants sex
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I believe that people must have a fundamental change in themselves so that they can cope with whatever situation they face "effectively" and "competently" rather than on an ad hoc basis. It is ok if you are not here seeking this type of "advice" but seeking for immediate answers to your immediate problem... that is fine... Many times I write with all the readers in mind and not just the thread starter in mind, so we shall just leave it as this...Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:thanks really appreciate it
but im not a young guy so im looking for some down to ground advises..or down to earth...
sorry... -
I think what she wants from you is simply good companionship and fun times, not necessarily lots of money but you will be expected to spend some on her.
What you will get in return is also good companionship and fun times. I doubt if she will conform to the "standard relationship norms" of fidelity, honesty, long-term commitment, nor will she be happy with the routine of a stable relationship. She might still like the attention and benefits from other men while being with you and may not want to give that up.
As long as you can live with what she can offer you, then it's alright to have a relationship with her.
If you know NOW that you will want more than what she can possibly give, then you can either stay away, or try to maintain a no strings attached relationship - just enjoy it while it lasts.
If you are thinking - "But how to assume now that she won't CHANGE for me? " -- then you have to ask yourself if you are being honest in your analysis of her character based on your years of friendship. On top of that, ask her outright what is she expecting from a relationship with you, and see what she says.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:she is working in the entertainment business..yes her ex was an much older guy which i known about , she told me about it , in fact i know all about her life, i get updates from her whether i want it or not.
i always thought is like lil sister confiding to older brother.nothing more than that..she makes good money
and of course with her stunningly beautiful looks lots of man come to her well you cant stop them from giving her any presents which she recycles to me...which i dont want.
and i have never given her anything expensive or any substantial value -
hmm, you have some thing valid there, those have never bother me before because she is not my gf, but might bother me if i go into a relationship with her..i mean its dificult for guys to accept that.. that might be one of the reason im hestitatingOriginally posted by choco B:. She might still like the attention and benefits from other men while being with you and may not want to give that up.
i might turn out to be a jealous guy all the time -
girl 18 yrs old = flower
guy 40 yrs old = dragon
lol... though, I think I dont have as many relationship as u or I dont live as long as u do, but I seriously think that age doesnt matter...
y do one have to let age or social discrimination limit their movement??? Probably, this is called "maturity". sigh
For me, if I do like her, I will go for it... if there will be problems, I will solve later...
if I dont like her, I will tell her so that I wont waste her time and effort... -
i admire you for ur truthfulness....Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:hmm, you have some thing valid there, those have never bother me before because she is not my gf, but might bother me if i go into a relationship with her..i mean its dificult for guys to accept that.. that might be one of the reason im hestitating
i might turn out to be a jealous guy all the time maybe to prevent all speculations & guessing, why not ask her if she's sure in starting a relationship with you -
hahahaOriginally posted by ispyyy:girl 18 yrs old = flower
guy 40 yrs old = dragon
lol... though, I think I dont have as many relationship as u or I dont live as long as u do, but I seriously think that age doesnt matter...
y do one have to let age or social discrimination limit their movement??? Probably, this is called "maturity". sigh
For me, if I do like her, I will go for it... if there will be problems, I will solve later...
if I dont like her, I will tell her so that I wont waste her time and effort...
i like your flower and dragon thingie
so what is a 30 year old woman or a 40 year old woman?
actually i still miss my last partner badly...very badly but she has move on... -
well i did ask her , she say shes like me since the first time she saw me...(during their impressionable age) but im always with somebody so she was shy. and she wanted to take this chance before i hook up with somebody else again.Originally posted by de_middle:i admire you for ur truthfulness.... maybe to prevent all speculations & guessing, why not ask her if she's sure in starting a relationship with you
but i hate to be the guy who is calling her at 12 or 1 and asking her where is she and who she is with and i dont want to cramp her style
i just hate to be the cranky guy but you know when you start a relationship all those ugly monsters come out, mainly jealousy and other stuff and in her line , its 100% unavoidable. and the never endling line of dirty old man who wants her ?
i want to be comfortable not constantly worrying ...does or will she love me enough to sacrifice all those, i dont think so and i think its selfish to expect her to do so.
but you know
love is selfish. -
Fourfourtwo8,
I've dated men this kind of age gap before.
She may be genuinely interested in you.
Given your life experience and financial stability.
You would bring some interesting offerings to the table.
The relationship may be a very refreshing one for the both of you.
However, there are certain issues you might want to consider before you take the leap.
She is at a very different life stage as you.
At this age, she is starting to see what life has to offer.
I also doubt she will be ready to "settle down" and start a family with you anytime soon.
Are you willing to wait ?
At your age, you would probably want to start a family in a few years time?
Wouldn't want to be a old daddy with a newborn, right ?
Are you willing to let her explore what life has to offer and not interfere?
She still has a lot to learn......
You are a mature man, you will need to have a lot of patience and be a very understanding partner..... sometimes her childishness may trigger an irritation similar to dealing with someone of lesser intelligence. Are you ready to deal with that ?
Also, she will have the upper hand in terms of time....
She can afford to throw away perhaps 3-4 years more should she decide this is not what she wants.
Are you willing to gamble another 3-4 years into this relationship ?
Your stakes are high.....
If you are sure of it..and you are not in a rush to start a family.
Then by all means, go for it. -
i see your point, i see her for what she is, a young girl , funny cute and freshOriginally posted by jojobeach:Fourfourtwo8,
I've dated men this kind of age gap before.
She may be genuinely interested in you.
Given your life experience and financial stability.
You would bring some interesting offerings to the table.
The relationship may be a very refreshing one for the both of you.
However, there are certain issues you might want to consider before you take the leap.
She is at a very different life stage as you.
At this age, she is starting to see what life has to offer.
I also doubt she will be ready to "settle down" and start a family with you anytime soon.
Are you willing to wait ?
At your age, you would probably want to start a family in a few years time?
Wouldn't want to be a old daddy with a newborn, right ?
Are you willing to let her explore what life has to offer and not interfere?
She still has a lot to learn......
You are a mature man, you will need to have a lot of patience and be a very understanding partner..... sometimes her childishness may trigger an irritation similar to dealing with someone of lesser intelligence. Are you ready to deal with that ?
Also, she will have the upper hand in terms of time....
She can afford to throw away perhaps 3-4 years more should she decide this is not what she wants.
Are you willing to gamble another 3-4 years into this relationship ?
Your stakes are high.....
If you are sure of it..and you are not in a rush to start a family.
Then by all means, go for it.
she is mature in a sense tht she sometimes talk like aunty and she actually want kids , she love kids so much , i saw how she treat her younger brother with so much love etc.
but sometimes she is kind of airhead...
but she is so beautiful, really stunningly beautiful, but i dont want to go into a relationship with her because of that only...
but am i deluding myself? im not turning her down because dont want to waste?
i dont want to be s.o.b but i might be going that way..and im still pining for old love ... -
Well, wouldn't hurt to try.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:i see your point, i see her for what she is, a young girl , funny cute and fresh
she is mature in a sense tht she sometimes talk like aunty and she actually want kids , she love kids so much , i saw how she treat her younger brother with so much love etc.
but sometimes she is kind of airhead...
but she is so beautiful, really stunningly beautiful, but i dont want to go into a relationship with her because of that only...
but am i deluding myself? im not turning her down because dont want to waste?
i dont want to be s.o.b but i might be going that way..and im still pining for old love ...
Give it a few months and see how it goes......
Your old love ain't coming back , is she ?
Well, since she has moved on.. you should to.
Perhaps this little girl is your angel, coming to deliver you from the gloom.
Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.
Have fun... -
iwouldnt know , she is not talking to me..Originally posted by jojobeach:Well, wouldn't hurt to try.
Give it a few months and see how it goes......
Your old love ain't coming back , is she ?
Well, since she has moved on.. you should to.
Perhaps this little girl is your angel, coming to deliver you from the gloom.
Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose.
Have fun...
well maybe you are right, maybe this is the one. next month we will be spending two weeks together in europe..maybe we will find out then..i will try not to have sex.. -
flower and dragon saying is most applicable before industralization. Haha... woman 30 or woman 40 is ???? I dont want to say... coz, in modern times, woman's status have changed...Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:hahaha
i like your flower and dragon thingie
so what is a 30 year old woman or a 40 year old woman?
actually i still miss my last partner badly...very badly but she has move on...
Again if I am u,
I will let that gal friend noe how I miss my last partner badly.
And if she still wants to put time and effort on me, I will let her. Coz, it is her choice... I will still treat her as a sister but I will still continue let her pursue me...
if she is able to let me have a new beginning, I guess it will be a great bonus for me... Or else, when one day she is tired, I will be left alone with my unforgotten memories... -
Just go with the flow of things....Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:iwouldnt know , she is not talking to me..
well maybe you are right, maybe this is the one. next month we will be spending two weeks together in europe..maybe we will find out then..i will try not to have sex..
Don't hold back if you don't have to. Get what I mean?
You may hurt her feelings and confuse her.....
You're a smart man....if she don't want you to touch her.. you'd know and just don't push it... -
You are committing relationship suicide.Originally posted by ispyyy:Again if I am u,
I will let that gal friend noe how I miss my last partner badly.
And if she still wants to put time and effort on me, I will let her. Coz, it is her choice... I will still treat her as a sister but I will still continue let her pursue me...
if she is able to let me have a new beginning, I guess it will be a great bonus for me... Or else, when one day she is tired, I will be left alone with my unforgotten memories...
You think women are so stupid?
They'll treat you like a stinking road kill. -
you got it wrong, its the other way around with 20 year old girls, she cant keep her hands off me, that is what that makes me uncomfortableOriginally posted by jojobeach:Just go with the flow of things....
Don't hold back if you don't have to. Get what I mean?
You may hurt her feelings and confuse her.....
You're a smart man....if she don't want you to touch her.. you'd know and just don't push it...
the predator became the prey... -
I have to laugh out loud....Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:you got it wrong, its the other way around with 20 year old girls, she cant keep her hands off me, that is what that makes me uncomfortable
the predator became the prey...
Yes, times has changed hasn't it ?
Women nowadays knows what they want, and they know how to get it.
Blame it on those saucy magazines disguised as fashion staples.
So yeah.. enjoy it.
I did mentioned it is gonna be a refreshing one ... ...... -
Maybe it would be better to play it safe and not harbour notions of "the one" so early on.
Just enjoy the relationship and keep it light and easy, even if no commitments. Gives you time to figure each other out, and what you can both contribute to and expect from a relationship.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:well maybe you are right, maybe this is the one. next month we will be spending two weeks together in europe..maybe we will find out then..i will try not to have sex.. -
you think so too?Originally posted by jojobeach:You are committing relationship suicide.
You think women are so stupid?
They'll treat you like a stinking road kill.
i told her about my past love,,,she said she will work hard to erase the pain...
im scared ,,
too good to be true ...you know the saying? -
Ain't she an angel ??? What more do you want ?Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:you think so too?
i told her about my past love,,,she said she will work hard to erase the pain...
im scared ,,
too good to be true ...you know the saying?
Just quit whining like a wounded puppy.
There's a limit to the amount of pity one can give to a man.
Especially when it has to do with your past.
GET OVER IT. -
Yeah... it is committing relationship suicide...Originally posted by jojobeach:You are committing relationship suicide.
You think women are so stupid?
They'll treat you like a stinking road kill.
If I have feelings for my previous, y do I want to accept a new 1 ???
Accept a new 1, then find out that my feelings are still on my previous and break another person's heart ???
The world does not need another extra broken heart...
I will rather place a danger warning on myself that state " Mine field ahead... Enter at yr own risk" -
Yah, good choice. Bravo old chap. You Dah MANOriginally posted by ispyyy:I will rather place a danger warning on myself that state " Mine field ahead... Enter at yr own risk" -
well i guess you are right, the old aint coming backOriginally posted by jojobeach:Ain't she an angel ??? What more do you want ?
Just quit whining like a wounded puppy.
There's a limit to the amount of pity one can give to a man.
Especially when it has to do with your past.
GET OVER IT.
i decide to embrace the new. -
Hip hip.. hooraaayyyy.....Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:well i guess you are right, the old aint coming back
i decide to embrace the new.
Now shut that mouth if you want to whine about your ex, else I'm gonna start calling you a c un t.