Big social problem. Any advice?
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Well...i feel that I do not connect well with people, even when it comes to relatives and colleagues. I am very bad at keeping in touch and showing interest with others.
And even those who i am sort of close with....i tend to eventually get bored or annoyed with them and start to push them away.
What can i do?
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go counselling, read books, attend talk/seminars/forums, talk to people about it. At least, you know the problem and have acknowledged the problem. the most encouraging is you are willing to change for the better! Bravo, keep it up!Originally posted by Jimi_Goh:Well...i feel that I do not connect well with people, even when it comes to relatives and colleagues. I am very bad at keeping in touch and showing interest with others.
And even those who i am sort of close with....i tend to eventually get bored or annoyed with them and start to push them away.
What can i do? -
wah you can be my mirror friendOriginally posted by Jimi_Goh:Well...i feel that I do not connect well with people, even when it comes to relatives and colleagues. I am very bad at keeping in touch and showing interest with others.
And even those who i am sort of close with....i tend to eventually get bored or annoyed with them and start to push them away.
What can i do? -
dun worry cos you are not the only one. i think i am rather uninteresting to people and is still working on it.Originally posted by Jimi_Goh:Well...i feel that I do not connect well with people, even when it comes to relatives and colleagues. I am very bad at keeping in touch and showing interest with others.
And even those who i am sort of close with....i tend to eventually get bored or annoyed with them and start to push them away.
What can i do? -
same here. its very difficult for me to get involved with people. many times i simply feel its pointless for the effort...
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ooh, i'm like that too.
realised this recently that i got this problem.
trying to kick off this.
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its not a problem on social but ourself
we always go busy with anything or everything so we hardly have chance to
even call our friends to talk cock sing song but always getting to noe more "so call new friend" forgetting the old.i think most ppl maybe like that nowaday ...i am one of them so cheers -
Are you a loner?
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Yes I am. Although to some that might be depressing but to me its fine and I like having my own space but it would still be nice to have back up
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eh same leh...
it just seemed like...whenever we talk abt 1 topic...its v. short and the conversation just ends...
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i find it better, talk too much also not that good
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Have you served your NS already?
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same here... nothing wrong with tt, character different frm others... this society emphasis too much on social cohesion, sees introvert as problem, networking and good EQ as the way to success n happiness... if u subscribe to tt n c urself having problems den go ahead n do something abt it.Originally posted by january:dun worry cos you are not the only one. i think i am rather uninteresting to people and is still working on it.
depending on many factors, NS may require interaction like in sch, but definitely does not neccessarily change a person's character n values. -
Yes served NS liaoOriginally posted by ALW:Have you served your NS already? -
I don't have problems interacting with people when I am with them.
My problem is i think people see me as bo chup and as an emotional flatline.
Im reserved also and I don't like to go out much....rather stay home and do my own thing and prefer it that way too. -
Sounds like you need to step out of your comfort zone. Pick up new hobbies.. take up classes. Get out more. Take interest in your existing friends' hobbies. If you hole yourself indoors, u'll never get anywhere with ur social life. You'll never have anything to talk about, either. I don't think U wanna end up becoming a really boring person who won't talk much because he doesn't want people to find out just how boring he is, right? Since u started this thread.
Making friends over the internet's fine, but will you forget your online friends once you turn off the computer? Friendships are like maintaining plants.. you don't nurture them, they slowly wither and die. Don't expect to be able to do it any other way. -
How did you survived during your NS days? Anti-social mates often get boycott.Originally posted by Jimi_Goh:Yes served NS liao -
I'm also a loner. Maybe because I was born an only child and do not see the need to interact at a large scale with people. But I'm quite wary of befriending people, especially those who only interact with you for their own motivations and not because they really like or want to know you as a friend. I have a small circle of friends whom I do interact with once in a while but really, people like me who are relatively more quiet and less talkative are generally easily forgotten at certain moments.
I like to treat people with sincerity and in the past, I wanted to be an ultimate and loyal friend but past experiences thought me that very often, the loyal, steady and quiet friend is bypassed for a more interesting fellow. When there are troubles, they would be touched when I'm there but when the crisis is over, everything is back to normal and i'm again overlooked.
People out there do not really understand me; they think I'm pretty much open. It is surprising when even my closer friends do not believe that I'm shy and reserved internally. Maybe because I would greet people who I'm acquianted with, rather than acting that I didn't see them when i did (which is a habit of most people these days).
Now, I'm maybe more realistic and unless there is a real friend who is destined to be met, I have no high hopes in the people around me. These days, I don't want to pressure myself to create topics of interest, just to entertain the other party; maybe, I'm too lazy and I rather someone accept me as who I am than who I try to pretend to be. And I'm accepting the fact that most friends come and go, ultimately you will move on in your life.. different paths everyone will take and eventually, you face your end alone. -
Like I said....i dont have problem interacting and socialising when im with people. Its when im on my own i rarely will contact ppl and they in turn won't contact me.Originally posted by ALW:How did you survived during your NS days? Anti-social mates often get boycott. -
Dun to worry abt tat. i was once like tat tooOriginally posted by Jimi_Goh:Well...i feel that I do not connect well with people, even when it comes to relatives and colleagues. I am very bad at keeping in touch and showing interest with others.
And even those who i am sort of close with....i tend to eventually get bored or annoyed with them and start to push them away.
What can i do? But now, i am much better le. The most impt thing is tat u are willing to TRY TO CHANGE!! If u are wiling to try, U can start by going out with ur best friend, hang ard with them often, talk to them with some topic. And day after day, u would want to talk to other ppl and u will be more sociable de..
Jia you. Cheers