What should I do?
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Actually i have an answer in me. N I think e answer u pple gonna say is there too. But I juz hope someone can help him to think of an excuse, thou I know I could be juz lying to myself.
I have a bf and we've been together not too long. But i've caught him lying to me several times, only to have him admit it only after I tell him. I told him many times that I dun like it when pple lie but he still did it anyway. My friends told me I dun seem to be as happie as in e past liao. They say I deserve better. I ought to leave. I want to but can't bear to. Coz i noe tt deep down in my heart I do love him n care for him a lot. -
Stay... Happiness hard to get... and will only be found and cherished in the long run... Well, it may just be like a rainy day, it looks gloomly, but the sun in still shining behind the clouds. Cheer up my dear... =)
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
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(.)_(.) Beary Bear *Huggiez*...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love. -
u can try threathening him??
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How to threaten?? what if he dun give in to my threats? haiz.. some pple is chi ruan bu chi ying one lor...
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What is it that he lied to you? Is it really very serious? Did you think about why he told you a lie? I dunno for your case lah. But I know of people who tell lies...but white lies lah. I know it's bad to tell lies...however, sometimes we can't avoid that. Confused? Well, I have a friend, whose bf is quite possessive...doesn't like her to go out with guys at all. But those guy friends were her very close ex-schoolmates. She used to be buddy with them. At first, she truthfully tell her bf about her friends and that they go out for coffee, talk on the phone...her bf not happy...quarrel with her. Made her very sad. She tried not to see her guy friends anymore. But she kept in contact with them through phone. Her bf also not happy when she told him she talked on the phone with them. She felt sad and sandwiched. Those are her good friends, and this is her beloved bf...hard to choose. So now, when she talks to her guy friends on the phone, she will not tell him anymore. If she goes out with her guy friends (not alone lah...but a group of maybe 2 gals and one guy cos she dun want any misunderstandings) She knows thay if she tells him, he'll quarrel with her, but she dun wanna lose close friends...so once in a blue moon, she go out with these friends on a gathering, she will tell him about the gals who are going but 'left' out the fact that certain guys are going. She feel that she is not lying (though self-deceiving) cos she told truth mah...only, she didn't tell the whole picture. In this way, she can avoid a quarrel with her bf and keep in contact with her friends. Yes, this is bad to tell lies...but she couldn't think of a better solution lor. We tried to help her...but really dunno how to help her solve her problem.
Anyway...I'm trying to say...if he told you a harmless lie, maybe you should think about why...why he told you a lie? Isit he is always like that? Even to other people he'll also tell lies? Maybe he likes to tell lies...not only to you? Well...I dunno...but I heard of people who just can't help but like to tell lies. Maybe you can communicate with him. Unless he is two-timing you or did something really serious...I think, a little white lie is harmless. If becos of some harmless lies, you wanna give up this relationship, you may regret next time.
Dun give up so easily...maybe you can try to help him kick that habit. Maybe you can tell him how you really feel. Tell him that you love him and wanna trust him...but trust needs to be earned and if he tells you a lie, the trust is gone and hard to build again...and if he keeps lying to you, one day, you'll not be able to trust him anymore...not able to trust him enough to entrust him with your heart. And you'll have to put that trust in another guy who value your trust.
Good luck. -
get a life
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One world
One love One mind
One soul One life
One peace One goal -
Are those lies SERIOUS? Strike a BALANCE. I USED to HATE people lying to me SO MUCH (in fact I still do). Believe me I'd seen WORSE. People who SIMPLY REFUSED that they had LIED though the FACTS are SO OBVIOUS and started making up STUPID STORIES for themselves. But at the end of the day, the same questions would roll into your head again... Do you CARE for them?
May it be LYING or some other BAD HABITS, sometimes such are just CHARACTERISTIC of certain people. You can go along and say "IF they CARE for me they should CHANGE", "IF it's a BAD HABIT they should KICK IT". I USED to think that way too. In fact maybe to a certain extent I still think so? But sometimes people just don't see their 'bad habits' as 'bad habits'. And sometimes it's just 'so in their bones'. It's NOT just a matter of 'recognition and rejection'. It's like one day if I tell one of the people JAMES that he SUCKS... THOUGH he might KNOW or RECOGNISE that he's an ASSHOLE, but what do you expect him to do? STOP being JAMES altogether? Some things take TIME to reach a NEGOTIATION. In a relationship, it's better for both parties to try and understand each other and strike a BALANCE from there. Now this can be the EASY part. The DIFFICULT part comes in DOING IT... I wish you LUCK?
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Astro:
White lies are naturally stuffed with good intentions so as to elevate misconceptions of each other. Cos some people can't handle the truth.
But if it is a delibrate lie with ill intent, then u might wanna re-consider your stand. I don't have to say more, don't I??
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I don't believe in any threatening. Astro, u must be true to him and of course vice versa. However, if you find him lying to you, what is impt. now is why is he hiding the truth from you? Is there any "nan yan zhi yu?" If you really find him untrue to you anymore, even if you are so true to him, it's not worth it, giv him up else you will be the one suffering in future, not worth it, astro for this type of guy...Originally posted by AsTr0GiRL:How to threaten?? what if he dun give in to my threats? haiz.. some pple is chi ruan bu chi ying one lor...
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
u said he lies... wat kinda lies?
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r/ship is all about trust. if his lies prevent you from trusting him, then how can you ever be happy with him? how can you still love and care for someone you dun trust? will you tolerate friends who lie to you? i won't. now this concerns a life partner, who is even more important than friends. how can you tolerate??
if you really care too much to let go, then confront him. say you won't take any bullshit from him, and he better start telling the truth now. you love him a lot, but he's taking your trust for granted. and tell him to please dun do it again, or else it's sayonara. -
try to change him loh, if cannot ,dump him before he does, he will sooner or later(coz iam the same type of person...)