Friend
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I want to help my friend but dont know where and how to start. For the past few days, she have been telling me that she is feeling empty. Something like moodless. Hence, she dont feel like doing anything at all.
At night, she just browse the net and listen to those sad songs. And when we talked on msn, i asked her if she is still feeling empty, she would say yes, and then keep saying die liao or si ding liao(same meaning as die liao). For a start, i must admit that i am very bad at comforting people and will always be the one at lost when someone is feelng depress or cries. So for the moment, i just ask her to tell me whats her problem, kind of lend her my listening ear, but she refuses to tell me. And she keep telling me die liao! Should i continue to ask her whats her problem and how can i help her? Exams are round the corner, and she is not really someone who excels in her studies, so time is another factor. So thanks for any help or recommendations that you ppl could give. -
If possible, help her in her studies.
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Well.
You could help her as simple as just for care for her. Obvious care.
Since her is feeling empty, Fill her up!
with activities, with care, with love...
so many things... -
I cant help her in terms of hw as she is in a different course from mine. So i think i can only encourage her.
How to fill her up with love and care?
Frankly, for the 17 yrs of my life, she is my only best friend and longest friendship i ever have, so when it comes to terms of cheering ppl up or what, im kind of weak at that. -
Try cracking jokes to loosen her up or de stress...dont matter whether its the witty or lame kind...
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Naturally, it is best for one to sound out all his or her problem and from her problem, solve it... But since, u have difficulty in digging, I suggest u could try talking logic to her...Originally posted by TYING:I cant help her in terms of hw as she is in a different course from mine. So i think i can only encourage her.
How to fill her up with love and care?
Frankly, for the 17 yrs of my life, she is my only best friend and longest friendship i ever have, so when it comes to terms of cheering ppl up or what, im kind of weak at that.
Steps :
1) Be firm and sincere...
2) Wake up her idea n ask her study...
3) Invite her out for a study session ---> Must be quiet place like library
4) Be with her all the while... If she is studying, then ok lah... if she is not studying, she will bui tahan and spill everything out...
if u r guy, then difficult lah...
if u r gal, then easier... -
a moment of feeling lost.......it'll pass
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Ask her out more often even for a simple kopi and tea session. Show her more care and concern at least she knows there is still a person out there care about her.
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Thanks for the replies. My friend can say is a tough nut to crack. She usually keep her problems to herself and only reveal to me those milder ones cause she knows i cant solve her problems. So asking her out for tea to talk abt her problem, i doubt it will work.
As for the studying session, in the past, i was the one who rejected her idea of studying together with me. Im the type who really needs peace and quiet when studying, so i rather study at home, while she prefers macdonald or those neighbourhood parks. And i have always been trying to persuade home to study at home as it is a more condusive environment. So if i ask her out for studying, will i be contradicting myself?
I have tried cracking lame jokes a few times before, but she merely gave me the "it is so cold or lame' look. Quite awkard when she doesnt respond so i kind of stop after that, only using it once in a while.
We are both girls, but i dont see how issit easier. -
she is in love with your boyfriend?Originally posted by TYING:Thanks for the replies. My friend can say is a tough nut to crack. She usually keep her problems to herself and only reveal to me those milder ones cause she knows i cant solve her problems. So asking her out for tea to talk abt her problem, i doubt it will work.
As for the studying session, in the past, i was the one who rejected her idea of studying together with me. Im the type who really needs peace and quiet when studying, so i rather study at home, while she prefers macdonald or those neighbourhood parks. And i have always been trying to persuade home to study at home as it is a more condusive environment. So if i ask her out for studying, will i be contradicting myself?
I have tried cracking lame jokes a few times before, but she merely gave me the "it is so cold or lame' look. Quite awkard when she doesnt respond so i kind of stop after that, only using it once in a while.
We are both girls, but i dont see how issit easier. -
of coz lah... it is easier to let one open up if same sex...Originally posted by TYING:Thanks for the replies. My friend can say is a tough nut to crack. She usually keep her problems to herself and only reveal to me those milder ones cause she knows i cant solve her problems. So asking her out for tea to talk abt her problem, i doubt it will work.
As for the studying session, in the past, i was the one who rejected her idea of studying together with me. Im the type who really needs peace and quiet when studying, so i rather study at home, while she prefers macdonald or those neighbourhood parks. And i have always been trying to persuade home to study at home as it is a more condusive environment. So if i ask her out for studying, will i be contradicting myself?
I have tried cracking lame jokes a few times before, but she merely gave me the "it is so cold or lame' look. Quite awkard when she doesnt respond so i kind of stop after that, only using it once in a while.
We are both girls, but i dont see how issit easier.
Alamak... reasons to ask her out for study , also must think for u ... lol
Just say tat "Home got some activities... Very noisy... Cant concentrate lor"
During study session, u can just keep on study... She may tell u all her problems... Coz, during study session, if she cant concentrate, she will be restless and likely that she will spill out... Quiet, study environment will speed up the process.. When she is spilling it out, do not interrupt and do not offer any advice... -
huh?Originally posted by Deportivo:she is in love with your boyfriend?
we are both single 
i think i try the go out and study method first. if really cannot make it, i think will need your help again.