Y gers dun give me chance 2 know them better...
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Hello guys/ladies (also the ger that go out w me from this forum) here need ur comments.. What I written below.. also my sincere feelings to pour here... words may be broken english... as what I thought of I type it literally... so hope u ppls understand the meaning..
I have been proactive enough to ask gers out already, n try 2 befriend them (pls dun mistaken my meaning of getting 2 know the gers better, nothing pervert). Nor does not mean to be my gf or wife.. instantly.
I must 1st admit that.. i'm nt handsome.. but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look?
Or is it true that gers will only start to appreciate the guys more.. when she are older... more working experiences... This is what I feel so far from a ger (who is older than me) who really give me the chance to know her better...
I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks. The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt? Believe me, once I get to chat w u more, the stammer will gone.
I jus cant stand y are some guys w/o the looks yet managed to find a gf 'easily'!!!! It doesn't matter whether their gf is pretty or not (this is not the issue). Dun believe me, go out the street n see it! Y nt me??? Y these guys managed to know gers that understand them (not just thru look but also feeling), but not me!!!!
#!%$&!#$ I CANT STAND IT!!!!!! -
Guys/gers, pls help me... I really #%!$#&*^ stress out on these BGR stuff for sooooo long.........
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Maybe u can try to improve ur communications skill (to prevent misunderstanding)Originally posted by tonytan77:Hello guys/ladies (also the ger that go out w me from this forum) here need ur comments.. What I written below.. also my sincere feelings to pour here... words may be broken english... as what I thought of I type it literally... so hope u ppls understand the meaning..
I have been proactive enough to ask gers out already, n try 2 befriend them (pls dun mistaken my meaning of getting 2 know the gers better, nothing pervert). Nor does not mean to be my gf or wife.. instantly.
I must 1st admit that.. i'm nt handsome.. but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look?
Or is it true that gers will only start to appreciate the guys more.. when she are older... more working experiences... This is what I feel so far from a ger (who is older than me) who really give me the chance to know her better...
I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks. The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt? Believe me, once I get to chat w u more, the stammer will gone.
I jus cant stand y are some guys w/o the looks yet managed to find a gf 'easily'!!!! It doesn't matter whether their gf is pretty or not (this is not the issue). Dun believe me, go out the street n see it! Y nt me??? Y these guys managed to know gers that understand them (not just thru look but also feeling), but not me!!!! #!%$&!#$ I CANT STAND IT!!!!!!
and ur outlook( be more attaractive )
keke..my piece of advice only
Givache 
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maybe u got to hv confidence & oso the way u carry yrslf. be neat & tidy in yr appearance though u may not hv the 'killing' looks
then depends on how generous r u (well depends on whr u plan to go & wat u wanna do). oso go out with an open mind & always ready to accept rejection or compliments so dat u will not take meeting up so seriously n brooding abt wat hv u done n so on.... GOOD LUCK TO U MAN! 
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Originally posted by Cristalle:
Thank 4 ur advice. Going 2 any dates, I'm for an open mind n ready to accept rejection. I say before even 4 1st date I dun expect love on first sight to be my gf. Relationship needs time to build on.. Rome does not build overnight.
[b]maybe u got to hv confidence & oso the way u carry yrslf. be neat & tidy in yr appearance though u may not hv the 'killing' looks then depends on how generous r u (well depends on whr u plan to go & wat u wanna do). oso go out with an open mind & always ready to accept rejection or compliments so dat u will not take meeting up so seriously n brooding abt wat hv u done n so on.... GOOD LUCK TO U MAN! [/b] -
You go and improve yourself first then talk about getting to know gers ba... that's my advice to you.
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When u say gers, do u mean a lot of gers or juz that one or 2 that u really wish to get to know better? Think you shud oni ask certain gers out.Originally posted by tonytan77:I have been proactive enough to ask gers out already, n try 2 befriend them (pls dun mistaken my meaning of getting 2 know the gers better, nothing pervert). Nor does not mean to be my gf or wife.. instantly.
Maybe, it's not abt looks. It's yr personality, the way u carry yrself. Or perhaps, you are juz not their type. U noe, sometimes girls get really irritated when guys call them too much, not bcos they are ugly. So maybe, u can try not being so "proactive"...I must 1st admit that.. i'm nt handsome.. but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look?
On the contrary, perhaps in my case, I feel that I get more wary of guys as I grow older and distant myself from them. I think if u show some sincerity, age doesn't really matter.Or is it true that gers will only start to appreciate the guys more.. when she are older... more working experiences... This is what I feel so far from a ger (who is older than me) who really give me the chance to know her better...
Sorry to hurt yr feelings, but frm the way u sound, u dun seem like a person girls will be interested in. It is irritating to receive irrelevant calls and sms frm guys who juz wan to be frens. Girls haf better things to do, unless they are lonely and desperate. So I suggest, u stop being so pushy. And, do not try to befren so many girls, it will only make u seem buaya and unappealing. Choose those u really feel u like her. Stammering is definitely a no-no, as much as guys like girls with attitude, girls like guys with confidence. Build up on that!I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks. The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt? Believe me, once I get to chat w u more, the stammer will gone.
Why do u haf to get a gf bcos u are envious of others. You nv noe, perhaps they spent yrs wooing the ger? Such things juz depend on fate... I think you shud get a girlfren u really like and not try to noe every girl in the hope that one will eventually be yr gf. This is unfair to the girl and a mockery to relationships.I jus cant stand y are some guys w/o the looks yet managed to find a gf 'easily'!!!! It doesn't matter whether their gf is pretty or not (this is not the issue). Dun believe me, go out the street n see it! Y nt me??? Y these guys managed to know gers that understand them (not just thru look but also feeling), but not me!!!! #!%$&!#$ I CANT STAND IT!!!!!!
*Hope you make wiser decisions in making frens in future. -
you are worrying too much. and its because of this worrying its making you stress out and 'CANNOT STAND IT $@!#$#@!$@!#'
be normal, dun expect anything, let nature takes it course...everything will turn out fine.
remember when the boats reach the pier they will straighten themselves out
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Good Luck for u Tony !
Dun think so much ! 
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Thank 4 all u advice.
Thank Xiaojune 4 ur comprehensive advice. As for SMS or ph call, I won't definetely every 5-10 min or msg 5-6 times a day to any gals sending those cutie pic, ringtone or even just a "hi, how re u".
How can u judge a person personality when you only know him/her last than 1 wks or even just 1 day?
I may not be the type of guy go for expensive or branded clothes... but when I go out would al least put on something comfortable n present myself well. Please don't expect someone to put on coat n tie for every date/outing whether with a gal or group of friends in Singapore. Unless it is formal occasions, rite?
You can say I "see red" abt those guys! So if they can take years to after the gal? Then Y nt me? Why cant the gals I m interested gave me the chance then?
I stress again I'm dun believe in luv in 1st sight or force gal to be with u at the very 1st date. Would prefer a relationship to develop gradually... jus as friends initially. If slowly, both parties feel interested w each other.. then starting to hold hand then.. If not, continue as friends... Therefore, I see y gals cant accept it this way? -
WRONG. Not all girls go for looks only. If they do, most guys have to be hermits.Originally posted by tonytan77:I must 1st admit that.. i'm nt handsome.. but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look?
Not really. I've know girls far younger and they too show the kind of maturity of people in their 20s.Originally posted by tonytan77:Or is it true that gers will only start to appreciate the guys more.. when she are older... more working experiences... This is what I feel so far from a ger (who is older than me) who really give me the chance to know her better...
Ok what...Originally posted by tonytan77:I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks.
This is your killer point. Try going out in a grp with both guys and girls. Group conversation is much easier than a one-on-one. Practise talking until you can comfortably engage in a lively conversation with a new girl.Originally posted by tonytan77:The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt?
GFs are a total different issue. Those guys have found someone whom they are willing to share their lives with.Originally posted by tonytan77:I jus cant stand y are some guys w/o the looks yet managed to find a gf 'easily'!!!! It doesn't matter whether their gf is pretty or not (this is not the issue). Dun believe me, go out the street n see it! Y nt me??? Y these guys managed to know gers that understand them (not just thru look but also feeling), but not me!!!!
Try to curb that stammering. How? Practise, practise and more practise. Talk to girls frequently. Talk to friends' friends who are girls. Sooner or later, you will get the right comm skills.
Gd luck!
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u think so easy to know gals ar? stop daydreaming.. and sending sms calling them ever so often will only scare them lar..
wahaha wooing gals is a life long skill u will get better at it when u grow in age.. dun act so childish lar..
try going out with ur female colleges or school friends first to train up.. they are usually easier to approach. dun just go to any gal in the streets and say "eh can i know u?"
lame rite? try group outing not one on one outing cos if u stammer hehee others can do the toking.. -
hi tony!
frankly speaking girls do like shy guys like u...... really
i was involved with too many girls........ so called mr popular..... den when the girl which i like came along..... guess i wasnt in the good books.... too buaya i think...... n cannot all of the sudden leave those ordinary gfs behind right? so my chance was gone...... really regret......
so do remain who u r...... u dont have to know them better..... for wat? dinner together waste time n money...... just look out for the special one.... one is more den enuff..... how do u know if its special? let ur heart show u the wat......
love who u r........ n love will come ur way! good luck tony! -
Yes.Originally posted by tonytan77:but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look? -
-_-`~ Come on... Not all girls are like that...Originally posted by shandower:Yes. -
1. CONFIDENCE....Originally posted by tonytan77:Guys/gers, pls help me... I really #%!$#&*^ stress out on these BGR stuff for sooooo long.........
2. Mix around with more friends... (And I mean a MIX of BOTH guys and girls...) When the time comes it'll COME.... Ask only when time is APPROPRIATE and things seem ok... And stop having the 'friends only INTIALLY' & 'don't expect them to become my gf AT 1st SIGHT' mentality... That's your problem... You're NERVOUS and you still cling on to such MENTALITY... Gonna kill you even more....
Finally, you're pretty much getting quite a lot of good advices here... Don't BURGE the whole BGR thing into your head and you won't feel so stressed up about it... Things would then be much better for you naturally.... -
Thank Devil 4 ur advice. I'm trying now. Also acting from my ex advice (these are the only 2 gals gave me chance), I brought the Mar & Venus book.
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I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks. The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt? Believe me, once I get to chat w u more, the stammer will gone.
u r an idiot -
Handsome or not, u can still find a gf. Finding a gf is not about looks..its the way u approach it...be an optimist! Put yourself on an equal level with others. Btw..F4...PATHETIC
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dun push it
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One point I want to stress on is the misconception that guys would have when they talk about girls cares about looks. In reality, most girls prefer decent looking over good looking and if anything below what they deemed as decent looking, then its a problem if you wanna further any relationship. Good looking guys have its advantage because they would get all the attention from the girls, but there is one important point - There is only a fine line difference between ADMIRATION and THE ONE YOU WILL GET. Everyone likes to look at pretty things, no doubt, but looking/admiring/etc does not anything.Originally posted by tonytan77:Hello guys/ladies (also the ger that go out w me from this forum) here need ur comments.. What I written below.. also my sincere feelings to pour here... words may be broken english... as what I thought of I type it literally... so hope u ppls understand the meaning..
I have been proactive enough to ask gers out already, n try 2 befriend them (pls dun mistaken my meaning of getting 2 know the gers better, nothing pervert). Nor does not mean to be my gf or wife.. instantly.
I must 1st admit that.. i'm nt handsome.. but is it really true that gers go 4 look only? Even mean only being friends.... Y being as friends, also need to go 4 look?
Or is it true that gers will only start to appreciate the guys more.. when she are older... more working experiences... This is what I feel so far from a ger (who is older than me) who really give me the chance to know her better...
I just wan the gers I know give me the chance 2 friend u... know jus lip service (e.g. sms a few msg.. not free, nothing lah, friend wah........) I just cant understand I have a job now (nt ideal career yet), look o.k but of course not the Desmond Koh or F4 looks. The only disadvantage, I must admit.. is when I'm nervous (e.g. knowing the ger initially.. will stammer quite serious, but when settled down more comfortable... it back to normal again). Is that becos of this this ger I go out (from here) feel uneasy abt? Believe me, once I get to chat w u more, the stammer will gone.
I jus cant stand y are some guys w/o the looks yet managed to find a gf 'easily'!!!! It doesn't matter whether their gf is pretty or not (this is not the issue). Dun believe me, go out the street n see it! Y nt me??? Y these guys managed to know gers that understand them (not just thru look but also feeling), but not me!!!! #!%$&!#$ I CANT STAND IT!!!!!!
Trying to ask a girl out is an attempt, but is it a good attempt or a bad one? Any guy could ask a girl out, but its HOW THEY MAKE THEM FEEL comfortable when they are with you that differentiate them from you. Don't talk about being together, talk about being as a causal friends. You said you will get nervous knowing the girl initially, but have it ever come across your mind that this will cause the girl to become nervous too? Woman are sensitive creature and will be able to detect any slight uncomfortability in you which will make them uneasy. Stammering betray your lack of self confidence when approaching woman and when you stop stammering, it does not mean that she would also be at ease at the period of time. What you have been talking about is only about YOU yourself and YOUR point of view. Do you really know what is she really feeling?
When woman are uneasy, they are likely to be defensive which hinder your wanting to know them more as a friend. Thats constitute the reason why they may not be that willing to open up or know you better as a person.
Being older or younger is no measure of maturity, for I bet you will shocked to realise that you are being lectured/enlighten/etc by someone who is 7 years your junior, which again explain that age has nothing to do with maturity.
You said you can't stand guys without looks and can get gf so easily. This explain my first point - girls prefer decent looking (of their own personal standard) over good looking ones. And this last part that you mention is a huge MAJOR preception error.
1) You said guys get them 'easily' - How ON earth do you know that there is no conflict, no hardwork, nothing involved before they were together?
2) You said that these guys managed to know girls that understand them - Again, how you know? People on the street seemed happy together, but when they have arguments, they fight, do you think you could see all these on the street? Their problems: could you see through the image of THINKING they are happily together WITHOUT conflicts?
Don't rant about these guys whom you think have all the luck and stuff because only YOU could figure out why things are turning out to be this way. Don't have to change your character because of this, just change the way woman see and feel about you. -
BRAVO!!!!Originally posted by Yunhaier:Being older or younger is no measure of maturity, for I bet you will shocked to realise that you are being lectured/enlighten/etc by someone who is 7 years your junior, which again explain that age has nothing to do with maturity.
You said you can't stand guys without looks and can get gf so easily. This explain my first point - girls prefer decent looking (of their own personal standard) over good looking ones. And this last part that you mention is a huge MAJOR preception error.
1) You said guys get them 'easily' - How ON earth do you know that there is no conflict, no hardwork, nothing involved before they were together?
2) You said that these guys managed to know girls that understand them - Again, how you know? People on the street seemed happy together, but when they have arguments, they fight, do you think you could see all these on the street? Their problems: could you see through the image of THINKING they are happily together WITHOUT conflicts?
Don't rant about these guys whom you think have all the luck and stuff because only YOU could figure out why things are turning out to be this way. Don't have to change your character because of this, just change the way woman see and feel about you. 
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for me is i dun give myself a chance to know ger better...
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Thank young n older guys/ladies here for ur advice esp. those who are much younger than me yet soooo experience in BGR. Your advices are well appreciated.
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So... Any enlightenment?