Need some advice ugently..
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Emm..okok..1stly..A has no feeling for mi de..so i got no worries..is jus tt whenever we are like working in the same place, ppl will always have the wrong idea tt we are couples..and i guess i have make the little effort to stay a distance from her..
From wat u saids like the "slient agreement"..i duno whether will it really works or not..and i dun even know will my clan agree to this relationship of Mi and B..
okok..Now i wish to con't part of the story after Mi and B got officially tgt.. From tt day which we officially tells each other abt our feelings and wat really went wrong and block our way..we clear all doubts and be tgt le..
But but but..coz currently she is working now..and she will off work at ard 10+..coz her working area and my living area is quite near..like tamp and paya lebar the distance..I dun mind making the effort jus go down all the way jus to see her..To mi it's worth it..
Mayb tt's why many ppl said tt luv is blind bahz..But whenever i msg and ask her whether should i go and pick her up after work, she will often reject mi..Reason she given is bcoz the journey back to her home is quite near..so whenever i went to pick her up, i will only like sees her 15 mins(in the bus)..after tt she went home le..
And i guess we are having lesser and lesser conversation le..and she will be starting her new sch term..and i really duno wat will goes on..as u all know tt new sch = have more chances of knowing guys....and i did ask her b4..and she ask wat if mayb she really fallen for another guy?? i jus reply her "speechless".. and no more reply from her..Hai.. -
Wha! so serious huh!, yo, to be fair to all, guess you better forget A and B once and for all, stop all hurting and reasoning.Originally posted by Normal^Guy:okok..the story starts like this..there's these two girl, we name it A and B..we have been in the same class for almost 2 years le..and A and B are very very good friends almost like real sis bah..
So during the 1st yr, i admitted tt i do have feelings for A, by the way the 3 of us is really very very good friends..and i guess tt almost my whole course are toking abt Mi and A..SO it's like whenever u see an orange u will tot of where is apple..It's like we are a pair in others ppl eyes le..But the fact is We are nv together before..
So after tt ard 1 year plus le, i was been sent to overseas for some assig..and i also try to make full use of this chance to try to forget A..and the feeling for A is really fading away after tt overseas assig..
So after a period of time..B comes into the pic..one day she admitted tt she have feelings for mi..and frankly speaking i do have feelings for her too..and things starts to goes well..and everything goes well..
But she has rejected mi once and i ask her the reason behide it, and she told mi is bcoz she do not know how to face most of the friends bcoz of the rumours "abt mi and A"..but after which i still can't forget abt B..and we meet out to tok abt this topic and i declare my feelings to her and we are offically together now..
But i dun really know how to break the news to our friends..coz it might be too unacceptable for them..So should mi and B con't our r/s ?? Coz to mi if we con't to be together, i am really afraid tt A and B will turn out not to be as good as last time bcoz of mi..and i really dun wan this to happen..Or in short, B might lost a good friend(A) bcoz of mi..and now i am stuck in this suitation..Help..
Further more is tt A and B will further their study together for another 3 years more..But i really really want to con't this jus-started-r/s with her..How?????Wat should i do?? thx for the time for reading and sorry for my long story..
then start to look for C. -
some guys get really messed up when they have too much on the plateOriginally posted by Uncertain:I agreed with FI, since u like B and have no feeling for A, then just treat A as a NORMAL Friend and nothing else, i repeat NOTHING ELSE.... U like B, pls for god sake give all ur heart to her... U only have 2 choices. First is to have a r/s with B and neglect A, try to keep a dist.. Second is to continue to have a close friend friend r/s with both A and B
Normal guy, stick to ur choice & live by ur choice. A guy who's too concerned about what others may think will never be focused......and its DETRIMENTAL. -
Okok guys..really thx alot to those who reply to this thread and have been giving mi those precious advice.. I really appreciated it alot alot alot..Thx a million..
Emm..Jus to update u guys bahz..Mi and B has break up le..we chatted thru phone few nights ago..and she saids tt she dun bear to lost the clan of friends we had..so she rather choose to give up this just-started-relationship of ours.
i did struggle alot but end up i also respect to her decision ..as i dun wan her to be so stuck in this suitation..and i believe loving a person, i should not let her suffer so much..i know i am useless..sorry..it's really painful to see her suffer and being suspect by her own very good friend/her good buddy..and she has been pester by her so called "good sister" on this..her so called "good sister" keep sticking to her in and out and keep asking her whether am i the one..
And on my part, when we are toking in thru the phone, i did ask her wat did A told u and stuff like tt..and B told mi tt A told her tt "if u r really together with him(which is mi) i guess i will really lost a friend bahz.."
From this sentence..i really HATE her alot..and i dun really know wat's the reason behide tt, which makes her so disagree to our relationship..why can't she jus give us her blessing?? Izzet bcoz once i like u and i give u up, so tt u have to do this to mi???????? and i dun really feel good..seriously speaking..and i really can't think of the reason why mi and B can't be together..
And B has also ask mi a question "Wat surprize have u given to mi till now?"..and i told her all the things which i had done for her..and the biggest surprize is yet to come..
Tt is i have sent something in to some magazine for some arrangement..Actually it's meant to be a surprize for her..and i have even order a bouquet of flower for our 1 month anni..i have plan out many many many things..to be carry out on (8/18(sat)which is also our 1 month anni) But i guess..it's not going to be carry out as according to plan..all my surprize for her has been smash into really fine pieces..and my dream has also been like bubble..*BrUsT*..tt really really breaks my heart..seriously..
So end up i am letting her go on my part and i really hope tt u can find a better partner ten mi who will not let u suffer so much and really take good care of u..All the best for ur study too..Jia You x3
Tears
Normal^guy (p.s i still love u very much..i luv u bb) -
Haiz... forget about B and move on... she is just another girl that u shouldn't fall in love with...
Y i said so, is becos of this very sentence:"till now, have u given me any surprise?" Lol... wth less than a month wants surprise... though it is deem necessary to be mysterious and surprising at times, it is demanding on her part to ask for surprises... LOL.. u should felt blessed for letting her go... if not u will have lots of torment to go through, namely to think of the SO-CALLED surprise she hunger for
U will get tired of this.. really trust me...
Congratulation to ur singlehood... may ur destined one find u soon
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Actually she will post tt question is bcoz A told her tt i give her wat surprize b4..and blah blah blah..like make her kind of jealous i guess so..to mi A is like trying to discourage her..making her wanna give up..so i am really quite disappointed with A lor..
I guess is bcoz A has been in such relationship b4, and she dun wan to see her so called "good sister" to suffer and take her old footpath.. and i guess she can't really "Yi zhu gan, tai fan zhe chu ren"..aka one bamboo flip over the whole boat of ppl..Hai..really difficult to get over it..and i realise i starting to get insomia over this thing..whole mind is fill up with Bb..the only her and jus her.. -
A do not want to lose B as a good friend. Imagine if you start with B, A will have less time with B. She is very jealous and worried for herself.Originally posted by Normal^Guy:Actually she will post tt question is bcoz A told her tt i give her wat surprize b4..and blah blah blah..like make her kind of jealous i guess so..to mi A is like trying to discourage her..making her wanna give up..so i am really quite disappointed with A lor..
I guess is bcoz A has been in such relationship b4, and she dun wan to see her so called "good sister" to suffer and take her old footpath.. and i guess she can't really "Yi zhu gan, tai fan zhe chu ren"..aka one bamboo flip over the whole boat of ppl..Hai..really difficult to get over it..and i realise i starting to get insomia over this thing..whole mind is fill up with Bb..the only her and jus her..
So I can say sorry bro, you kena backstabed.
There are ways to counter A but I am not sure you want to learn it. -
OMG..zeny tt's wat i thinking too..she scare B will have lesser time with her..And A is always Always ok?? Always sticking with B..sometime B jus wan some freedom but A also dun bother to give her..
Someday B also msg mi, asking mi wat to do..coz we jus break up mah..she feels very upset and wan to be alone..But A didn't give her the private space..And i told B to voice out..but she dun really dare to hurt A..Hai..wat can i do?? -
To use tatics to win her back is to understand why A is scare of losing B.Originally posted by Normal^Guy:OMG..zeny tt's wat i thinking too..she scare B will have lesser time with her..And A is always Always ok?? Always sticking with B..sometime B jus wan some freedom but A also dun bother to give her..
Someday B also msg mi, asking mi wat to do..coz we jus break up mah..she feels very upset and wan to be alone..But A didn't give her the private space..And i told B to voice out..but she dun really dare to hurt A..Hai..wat can i do??
Think and ask yourself why.
First understand why you lose B.
you lose B not becos she do not love you but becos of she wants to keep her friendship with A.
Your chance is here cos now you are no longer B's bf but just her friend. Use this time to ask B out as a friend for outings. Without the bf status is easier for you to go out with B. B is tired of A constant sticking to her and she wants her freedom. Be there as a friend for her. Take your time let B feel that being with you is much relax and have much freedom than being with A.
Most important thing is to be patient. If you lose patient then it will not work at all. -
Actually the reason is very easy lor..A jus treat B like her own younger sis..sometimes more good ten blood related sister..A can go to the extend tt even after a day of sch, she will also call B at nite to chit chat and sms her..and every movement of B, A will also wanna know..
To mi, B is like a prisoner lor.. It's like B can't make new friends when A is ard..and is like B is being tied down..But B know tt she can't hurt A.. To mi lah..A is going overboard lor..And now i dun really feel like toking to A anymore..It's like she is doing those small action behide mi..And she tot i dun know abt tt..Xiao ren lor..
But the worst thing is tt, she got a innocent look..and normally ppl will go sayang her and believe watever she saids..bcoz she is pretty..Omg.. -
man, that's really selfish of A.
but its really common, when someone goes into a relationship, they will pioritise their friends below their beloved.
its natural la. no wonder A felt that way. I'm also in this situation, but what to do? I rather my Jie be happy with her beloved than her give up her happiness because I felt left out from her life. -
Are you dating the clan or B?Originally posted by Normal^Guy:From wat u saids like the "slient agreement"..i duno whether will it really works or not..and i dun even know will my clan agree to this relationship of Mi and B..
If you're so concerned, why not just maintain the status quo? Everything would be perfect. I presume you like things as they stand now.
There might be a longer-term issue which you might have overlooked - with such a mindset of yours, what makes you think this problem would not surface again when you're dating another girl?