does education matter in a relationship?
-
Does for sure.
Its just how hard the couples would want to recieve it. -
Education matters in a relationship... becos of some of this factors which will eventually make the relationship sour or hard to continue...
1. Relationship is not just about the boy and girl, friends are involved also. Imagine having to cope with the double degree GF's friends during an outing. The topics, subjects or soical past times will have differences which will become a breakdown in communications - a Key factor in all relationships.
2. Education will bring about status and social being, change the person view on even the smallest issue like watching a movie together. If u cant even agree on a movie to watch together, how could the relationship still go on?
3. Even with similiar finance background and also family teachings, the educational differences will eventually be brought up as an issue, be it the father-in-law or mother-in-law, someone will not be particularly happy with someone else...
4. In the 1st place, people of difference educational background are seldom matched. just ask why people do ask for educational background when filling in the application for online dating services or match-making agencies.
5. Afterall, we are still asian whom still have that traditional "wooden door match wooden door, metal door match metal door" type of thinking.. the background must match, then families can agree on the marriage...
Dont mistake me, Traditional thinking is not always wrong. There are many reason why so many things are not working right in our times now... -
Originally posted by angel7030:That is why people use to say, dun marry up, try to marry down.
My Ex old bf have a master, but very proud and like to comand and control, i hated it and left him. Than I met my current bf, 3 years older than me, an advance diploma holder starting from ITE, very caring and alway seek my opinons. No Doubt I may not have Jaguar to look for, at least I found my Love.
Well done! -
No hard feelings bro, but I cannot agree with you at all. Well I guess it's just diff ppl thinks diff.Originally posted by Glennyek:Education matters in a relationship... becos of some of this factors which will eventually make the relationship sour or hard to continue...
1. Relationship is not just about the boy and girl, friends are involved also. Imagine having to cope with the double degree GF's friends during an outing. The topics, subjects or soical past times will have differences which will become a breakdown in communications - a Key factor in all relationships.
2. Education will bring about status and social being, change the person view on even the smallest issue like watching a movie together. If u cant even agree on a movie to watch together, how could the relationship still go on?
3. Even with similiar finance background and also family teachings, the educational differences will eventually be brought up as an issue, be it the father-in-law or mother-in-law, someone will not be particularly happy with someone else...
4. In the 1st place, people of difference educational background are seldom matched. just ask why people do ask for educational background when filling in the application for online dating services or match-making agencies.
5. Afterall, we are still asian whom still have that traditional "wooden door match wooden door, metal door match metal door" type of thinking.. the background must match, then families can agree on the marriage...
Dont mistake me, Traditional thinking is not always wrong. There are many reason why so many things are not working right in our times now... -
It all boils down to both side mentality.... Different education lvl? No problem.
What the TS mention is more of change of mentality of one side or a crack going to surface anytime.... -
Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
You might think that the chasm in education is the de facto reason contributing to the degeneration of this relationship - eventually you might just realized that any reasons would take on similar conclusion, for as long as the person desire to leave.
Any reason will do.
Your 'happy relationship' is probably one-sided - it might be sparking joy for you to just being around with someone you love, but certainly, it isn't very much the same for her.
It isn't enough and that insufficiency topples the balance.
She might be contented previously, but with desire comes disappointment. I recalled talking to someone who felt afraid of her 'new self' - albeit she began to enjoy financial independence and powers; she realized that her expectation of her mate also grew proportionately.
She felt she is no longer the same as before, being conformed and shaped by societal norms. Perhaps the rudimentary womanly instinct of 'survival' triggers - as the need to 'select' the best possible mate to 'ensure the best possible condition to breed the next generation'.
In introspection, when we try to uncover the common factor/s attributed to the construction of our relationship; when all is crystal-clear in naked eyes of wisdom, we might just realize that time could just be that one solo component, breathing life into an otherwise impossible relationship just because all other elements are conducive enough to elicit a relationship.
What I am trying to say here is that all relationships are created by gift of time, circumstances and situation (whether or not it is karmic). And with the change in time, circumstances and situation - when all components in this equation changes, things might not be the same anymore, even though both of you still looked the same, leading the same relationship.
True love is when your core doesnÂ’t waver, despite all that beguiling distraction that invoke outwardly from all changes in life.
Your woman swayed and got affected by this notion, as this effect plants seed of doubts in your relationship, questioning its original identity and reason of existence. Perhaps that might just be the source of fatigue she is trying to endure - the ubiquitous expectation of what should be a 'perfect/standard relationship'.
Why question it only now? Or is it because what doesn't seem to matter in the past matters right now?
Is it really education? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)
Or has Love weakened? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)
Sit together and talk it out - you might still be able to do something if this frustration stem from your apathy and passiveness in love and life. But if she has decided that the fire has burned itself out, with the final chance to 'amend anything' forfeited, then you probably need divine intervention.
P.S: All is equal in eyes of love. However, when this paradigm shifts drastically, one usually only obtain companionship, not soul mates. So what if it's five years? The length of relationship often speaks nothing of the love that's truly within.
You might not have to reconsider this relationship - but surely, you must preview your definition of love and see if it's parallel to hers.
Love is about looking at one common direction... not just at each other.
Cheers -
it's not really a prob..
but as once go up the higher level, the lifestyle and social circle will change also..
if the party with lower qualification dun catch up, there will be a big gap de lor.. -
No problem, I do understand diff ppl think diff... everyone will each have their own views or opinion...Originally posted by Andkel:No hard feelings bro, but I cannot agree with you at all. Well I guess it's just diff ppl thinks diff.
Tat's why the forum is a open place for all to share their views, and should never force anyone to take side or follow the guides...
I do understand where u coming from.... there can be true love to conquer it all and goes against all odds...
But sadly, such reality comes in the minority.
No many can see beyond the facts and accept life & death. -
*pat pat*
truly understand wad u r going thru.
went thru b4, though not as long like 5yrs but the pain was as intense.
cry if u want or need, dun hide it.
let it all out.
hate to say tat, but when a person says tat to u, chances are she/he is quite certain. to her, she wants someone of equal or higher level.
take care, fren.. -
Well said, must have come from experience?Originally posted by RaTtY8l:she got new guy la, these r jus excuses to break up with u
Men don't mind marrying down, so long the wives are young & pretty. Man is prouder of the wif's look than her brain!
Women prefer to marry up so long their men bring home the bread. Then they can brat to their relatives, friends and colleagues.
Despite today's dual income families, husbands are still the providers while the wives are the dividers - what is mine is mine, what is yours is mine! -
Lets change the story a bitOriginally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
Ugly girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
Handsome guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
So what do you think will be the ending? -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
thanks, i think of all you would come closest to what is happening You might think that the chasm in education is the de facto reason contributing to the degeneration of this relationship - eventually you might just realized that any reasons would take on similar conclusion, for as long as the person desire to leave.
Any reason will do.
Your 'happy relationship' is probably one-sided - it might be sparking joy for you to just being around with someone you love, but certainly, it isn't very much the same for her.
It isn't enough and that insufficiency topples the balance.
She might be contented previously, but with desire comes disappointment. I recalled talking to someone who felt afraid of her 'new self' - albeit she began to enjoy financial independence and powers; she realized that her expectation of her mate also grew proportionately.
She felt she is no longer the same as before, being conformed and shaped by societal norms. Perhaps the rudimentary womanly instinct of 'survival' triggers - as the need to 'select' the best possible mate to 'ensure the best possible condition to breed the next generation'.
In introspection, when we try to uncover the common factor/s attributed to the construction of our relationship; when all is crystal-clear in naked eyes of wisdom, we might just realize that time could just be that one solo component, breathing life into an otherwise impossible relationship just because all other elements are conducive enough to elicit a relationship.
What I am trying to say here is that all relationships are created by gift of time, circumstances and situation (whether or not it is karmic). And with the change in time, circumstances and situation - when all components in this equation changes, things might not be the same anymore, even though both of you still looked the same, leading the same relationship.
[b]True love is when your core doesnÂ’t waver, despite all that beguiling distraction that invoke outwardly from all changes in life.
Your woman swayed and got affected by this notion, as this effect plants seed of doubts in your relationship, questioning its original identity and reason of existence. Perhaps that might just be the source of fatigue she is trying to endure - the ubiquitous expectation of what should be a 'perfect/standard relationship'.
Why question it only now? Or is it because what doesn't seem to matter in the past matters right now?
Is it really education? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)
Or has Love weakened? (Or the other side of the story we haven't heard)
Sit together and talk it out - you might still be able to do something if this frustration stem from your apathy and passiveness in love and life. But if she has decided that the fire has burned itself out, with the final chance to 'amend anything' forfeited, then you probably need divine intervention.
P.S: All is equal in eyes of love. However, when this paradigm shifts drastically, one usually only obtain companionship, not soul mates. So what if it's five years? The length of relationship often speaks nothing of the love that's truly within.
You might not have to reconsider this relationship - but surely, you must preview your definition of love and see if it's parallel to hers.
Love is about looking at one common direction... not just at each other.
Cheers [/b] -
the girl is materialistic, leave her.
be stronger, you are worth a better girl,
saw your post before, you are a good guy, dun worry too much.
5 years is really, it's going to be hard to overcome, but after that, everything gona be alright, take it as a lesson learn.
p/s, just now i type a very long reply, but dunno why doesn't it shows...
so i just summarise what i've got to say cuz im tired to type. -
Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:
For men
Well said, must have come from experience?
Men don't mind marrying down, so long the wives are young & pretty. Man is prouder of the wif's look than her brain!
Women prefer to marry up so long their men bring home the bread. Then they can brat to their relatives, friends and colleagues.
Despite today's dual income families, husbands are still the providers while the wives are the [b]dividers - what is mine is mine, what is yours is mine! [/b]
1) Ugly and rich men don't mind marrying down, so long the wives are young & pretty. If not just change a new one, why worry got $$
2) Handsome and rich men don't mind marrying down, so long the wives are young & pretty. If not just change a new one, got looks why worry?
3) Ugly and poor men don't mind marrying down cos they have no choice.
For women
1) Ugly and rich woman prefer to marry up so long as their man is handsome enough to brat about. Got $$ still can find new ones.
2) Beautiful and rich women prefer to marry up cos the poor and ugly guys cannot match up.
3) Ugly and poor women try to marry up but still could not find one cos no one cares about them. -
She mind so does it matter what the guy says?Originally posted by casshern:he says he dont mind being inferior
he says he will work hard for them
he says if i dont understand you how can i stand by you
he says i still feel your love towards me
he says if you dont love me you wouldnt cry
he says i love you too much to let you go
he says have you really tried
he says dont give up
he says i have tried even more
he says why must you listen to others
he says is our love worth less than the words of others
he says you dont have to do this
he says im even more tired
he says i had never give up neither should you
he says i will wait for you
he says till the day you look me in the eyes and tell me you dont love me anymore -
He cares about her but she does not,Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
life sucks -
What do you mean by all? So, every post here is a reflection of the real situation? My my, the girl with a double degree is also doubling her relationship!Originally posted by casshern:thanks, i think of all you would come closest to what is happening -
5 years is a long time.
Nice guys finish last.
You are the nice guy. -
My only advice is to please move on and forget about her. Most probably she has found someone who is studying in the same uni, may not be scholar. The way she says it, chances are quite high, just a tactic to make you give up on her. I am not speculating but SMU programs and NUS biz programs offer double degrees......my gut feel is your sweetheart is studying in SMU.....accounting and finance are very hot now as a combination.Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
Y not you take a part time degree to upgrade yourself? There are many private schools that offer quality education. Just check with your civil service department which are the ones that are recognised.
No hard feelings but both of you are still young. Carve out a niche in your career. In time to come, she may not regret leaving you but hope you will not regret for wasting time and energy in a relationship that both of you know will not materialise and have a happy ending.
Wishing you the best in the pursuit of your own happiness. -
Weeds don't grow overnight.
Has this problem of qualification bothered her over the years? Has she encouraged you to go for further studies over the years?
If so, then probably it matters to her. If so, what is stopping you from studying further? -
initial phase of r/s no need to care... but when it comes to $$$ n luxury, some ppl wan more... sometimes ppl do change...Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future. -
no use fighting liao cos her heart is no longer wif u from those reasons...Originally posted by casshern:she says she dont know if she's still happy with him.
she says she dont know if she still love him.
she says the guy dont understand her anymore.
she gives a thousand and one reasons. -
Education does not matter in a relationship. Compatibility does.
A person of higher education will more often than not think differently from a person of lower education. This will result in compatibility issues. -
So nice to see open and friendly positive posting.Originally posted by Glennyek:No problem, I do understand diff ppl think diff... everyone will each have their own views or opinion...
Tat's why the forum is a open place for all to share their views, and should never force anyone to take side or follow the guides...
I do understand where u coming from.... there can be true love to conquer it all and goes against all odds...
But sadly, such reality comes in the minority.
No many can see beyond the facts and accept life & death.
Yes, agreed, true love conquer all whereby people give in for the glory of love. -
Its the money & 'security' that might come with it, not the education.
If you only have a psle qualification but owns a business employing 100 people with double degrees, you think she might say "we are from different worlds"?