does education matter in a relationship?
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thanks jojo, but Goodearth relates more to me. i had been trying, so much so tat i felt burnt out.Originally posted by jojobeach:This is crap.
You are telling TS to give up before he even try.
Do you treat your woman this way ?
Do you not listen to her needs ? And simply shrug them off as being "unjustified"?
What is self-worth and dignity, worth if you only live in your own little world ?
If a woman wants to really dump you, she will not bother to give you any shite reasons.
she have her needs, but i also have mine. the thing is sometimes i felt tat i fulfill her needs more den she fulfill mine.
after reading through so much advices and replies, i'm not too sure now if its really worth it. -
There is a limit or threshold to our efforts, love, care, and concern. If this relationship is one way, when one party is rowing the boat, it is very difficult to go straight.Originally posted by casshern:thanks jojo, but Goodearth relates more to me. i had been trying, so much so tat i felt burnt out.
she have her needs, but i also have mine. the thing is sometimes i felt tat i fulfill her needs more den she fulfill mine.
after reading through so much advices and replies, i'm not too sure now if its really worth it.
The bottom-line is what she wants and what you can accommodate reasonably and sanely! It is meaningless if her needs keep growing and changing. I don't call that need. More of a demand. You can't be giving all the time. There will come a time when you have nothing to give. What then? -
You have just told her you will go to the battlefield for her on 2nd August.Originally posted by casshern:thanks jojo, but Goodearth relates more to me. i had been trying, so much so tat i felt burnt out.
she have her needs, but i also have mine. the thing is sometimes i felt tat i fulfill her needs more den she fulfill mine.
after reading through so much advices and replies, i'm not too sure now if its really worth it.
Today, you are telling us you have given up the fight already ?
Now that was fast. I wish all wars are as short lived as your endeavour.
Assuming both of you get married.
Time to have kids.
Who will sacrifice the job to stay home and look after them?
Logically the one with the higher income stays working.
Now in your case, will you be willing to be MR Mom ? I doubt it.
All mothers want to be the primary care giver to their children.
If you are my bf, and you have decided to work hard for the future .
I'd give you another shot, but I will remain skeptical until I see solid results. -
You believe people will not change ?Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:There is a limit or threshold to our efforts, love, care, and concern. If this relationship is one way, when one party is rowing the boat, it is very difficult to go straight.
The bottom-line is what she wants and what you can accommodate reasonably and sanely! It is meaningless if her needs keep growing and changing. I don't call that need. More of a demand. You can't be giving all the time. There will come a time when you have nothing to give. What then?
Everyone change..including you. As you grow, you change.
The thing is, how well can you adapt ? -
Originally posted by jojobeach:You believe people will not change ?
No.
Everyone change..including you. As you grow, you change.
I change from moment to moment. I am different now than a second ago.
The thing is, how well can you adapt ?
Adapt to what kind of change? Change of heart? -
When you cannot adapt to change of need, there will be a change of heart.Originally posted by TheGoodEarth: -
To me, education does not matter.Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
I did not bother to read the other remaining posts and pages (too long......) so I dunno wat happened next.
I only see dis: from wat you said, she is restrainted by the realities of the world and trapped by the power and lust of money. And she does not know how to handle it. You too do not know how to handle it.
I also see excuses of her wanting to leave you...
You picture this: you may be of A level qualification. What happened if one fine day you struck rich? You became a multi millionaire? Will she eat her words then? I know, you will say its impossible for you to be that rich, but you see the mentality of her and her views and values in the relationship. She wants more than security and stability. She wants ease of life and perhaps a new challenge.
Basically that is all I will say because I have already answered your question in the 1st sentence.
Happy reflecting!
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OK, can you define need?Originally posted by jojobeach:When you cannot adapt to change of need, there will be a change of heart.
State what are these?
And how is woman's needs different from man?
And what leads to change of need? -
Uhh... sorry, I don't teach kindergarten.Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:OK, can you define need?
State what are these?
And how is woman's needs different from man?
And what leads to change of need?
If you don't understand these fundamentals, it is best you read up some books. Or you can go into a relationship some day and learn it the hard way. -
Yes Bontaku,Originally posted by Bontakun:To me, education does not matter.
I did not bother to read the other remaining posts and pages (too long......) so I dunno wat happened next.
I only see dis: from wat you said, she is restrainted by the realities of the world and trapped by the power and lust of money. And she does not know how to handle it. You too do not know how to handle it.
I also see excuses of her wanting to leave you...
You picture this: you may be of A level qualification. What happened if one fine day you struck rich? You became a multi millionaire? Will she eat her words then? I know, you will say its impossible for you to be that rich, but you see the mentality of her and her views and values in the relationship. She wants more than security and stability. She wants ease of life and perhaps a new challenge.
Basically that is all I will say because I have already answered your question in the 1st sentence.
Happy reflecting!
To summarise everything.
It all boils down to the ability to provide.
Academic qualification is a yard stick which others judge you by.
Especially in the civil services, it pretty much defines your career opportunity.
And this is not news. -
if only TS gf understands it.Originally posted by jojobeach:Yes Bontaku,
To summarise everything.
It all boils down to the ability to provide.
Academic qualification is a yard stick which others judge you by.
Especially in the civil services, it pretty much defines your career opportunity.
And this is not news. -
Oh, I am sorry too. My questions are too simple for a complicated person like you to answer. Or perhaps you have no answers at all?Originally posted by jojobeach:Uhh... sorry, I don't teach kindergarten.
If you don't understand these fundamentals, it is best you read up some books. Or you can go into a relationship some day and learn it the hard way. -
Only shallow people judge another by education yardstick. Everyday I come across educated nincompoops.Originally posted by jojobeach:Yes Bontaku,
To summarise everything.
It all boils down to the ability to provide.
Academic qualification is a yard stick which others judge you by.
Especially in the civil services, it pretty much defines your career opportunity.
And this is not news.
To work for the civil service is nothing fantastic. Creative people don't work there. They will be suffocated there! And this is not news. -
News flash. Thread starter works in the civil service.Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:Only shallow people judge another by education yardstick. Everyday I come across educated nincompoops.
To work for the civil service is nothing fantastic. Creative people don't work there. They will be suffocated there! And this is not news. -
I am making a not so unkind comment about the civil service. You should hear even worse comments. Be it that TS is working in civil service, my comment is not targeted specifically at TS.Originally posted by jojobeach:News flash. Thread starter works in the civil service.
That you chose to highlight this and not comment on educated nincompoops is surely very sinister of you! -
Education is important in life.
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Yes, i know. However, some educated pple behave worst than the not so educated one. Why?Originally posted by euc:Education is important in life. -
In This Time and age especially in SG, yes education does matter...even for myself i'm currently pursuing a pte degree and i dun think it'll be enuff by the time i grad...Originally posted by casshern:the girl studies in a Uni with double degree scholarship.
the guy is a humble civil servant with only A levels.
it was a very happy relationship, closing in to 5 years.
one day,
she says that both parties come from very different worlds.
she says there's no future for them.
she says they no longer share anything in common.
she says she's losing the passion.
she says she's tired of trying.
she says she feel the heartache whenever she think about their future.
You see i gotta fight wif NUS, NTU and SMU grads in the job market and they might probably be commanding higher wages than me...
Ultimately a gal that comes along might even compare me to them and measure the standard of my education...
Sad but true...so i gotta wrk to get a Master's... -
Education is better than no education. In itself it is good. Just like religion, in itself it is good. But with people, it doesn't mean that an educated person is a saint/angel or smart, knows everything or can perform at work, or can even think!Originally posted by angel7030:Yes, i know. However, some educated pple behave worst than the not so educated one. Why?
A qualification (from whatever institution of learning) is just a mere statement that one has met the minimum standards for the award, nothing more!
While education is important, it is not the ultimate measure of a person's ability, capability, IQ, EQ, integrity, honestly, diligence, etc.
These days, qualifications are aplenty, and if one can afford, it is not at all difficult to get into university. There are universities you can just walk in with or without 'O' level.
Over-emphasis on educational qualifications is bad. It is a problem in kiasu SG. In Europe, America and Australia - they don't place so much emphasis. When it comes to work, individual capability and performance counts more than paper qualifications. Pay is not linked to paper qualifications unlike the Civil Service. I can understand why the Civil Service needs to adopt this form of remuneration. As an employer, I am only interested in performance demonstrated at work. When it comes to performance appraisals, do your bosses ask how many paper qualifications you have?
Having said that, job applicants without demonstrated work performance will have to rely on paper qualifications as 'proof' of ability. But that 'ability' is of course an assumption - that is if one can pass exam, one has the ability! -
TheGoodEarth,Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:I am making a not so unkind comment about the civil service. You should hear even worse comments. Be it that TS is working in civil service, my comment is not targeted specifically at TS.
That you chose to highlight this and not comment on educated nincompoops is surely very sinister of you!
Yes it is true, there are educated nincompoops, there are also uneducated nincompoops. Nincompoops exists in every level of qualification.
Having an advance level education does not guarantee you career success.
It will however allow you a higher ceiling to which you can achieve in your career.
Example,
If you only have a tertiary education.
You may be very successful, at a supervisory or manager level, but that is as far as you can go.
With a degree, you can be groom for a higher level position.
Although it is true, that not every potential degree holder can be suitable for it.
The company also looks at your leadership qualities, and how well you fit into their organization.
True, not very degree holder are quality workers.
It is, however up to a company's discretion.
That is why your track record is very very important.
I do hope you will not try so hard to swim against the flow.
When you continue against those educated nincompoops, you will start to sound like a sour grape. -
Hi, thanks for your enlightening post,Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:Education is better than no education. In itself it is good. Just like religion, in itself it is good. But with people, it doesn't mean that an educated person is a saint/angel or smart, knows everything or can perform at work, or can even think!
A qualification (from whatever institution of learning) is just a mere statement that one has met the minimum standards for the award, nothing more!
While education is important, it is not the ultimate measure of a person's ability, capability, IQ, EQ, integrity, honestly, diligence, etc.
These days, qualifications are aplenty, and if one can afford, it is not at all difficult to get into university. There are universities you can just walk in with or without 'O' level.
Over-emphasis on educational qualifications is bad. It is a problem in kiasu SG. In Europe, America and Australia - they don't place so much emphasis. When it comes to work, individual capability and performance counts more than paper qualifications. Pay is not linked to paper qualifications unlike the Civil Service. I can understand why the Civil Service needs to adopt this form of remuneration. As an employer, I am only interested in performance demonstrated at work. When it comes to performance appraisals, do your bosses ask how many paper qualifications you have?
Having said that, job applicants without demonstrated work performance will have to rely on paper qualifications as 'proof' of ability. But that 'ability' is of course an assumption - that is if one can pass exam, one has the ability!
Dad told me education is nothing but a form of obtaining knowledge and discipline. Most of the time, in a real world, the knowledge was hardly applied, but then the discipline stay within an educated man. His leadership, decision, judgement and thinking will be more precise in a way of getting thing done.
Nevertheless, some educated pples take their knowledge to commit crimes such as corruption as NKF shown. Having said that, most of the educated pple here are working class, because they are educated and able to understand or so call calculate the risk factors, most do not dare to set up or create business, therefore in Singapore, 7 out of 10 bosses are not educated with a U cert.
The question is, Why our education system tends to produce working class only? -
i see our discussion is heading towards an interesting direction.
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Yes they still do.Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:Over-emphasis on educational qualifications is bad. It is a problem in kiasu SG. In Europe, America and Australia - they don't place so much emphasis. When it comes to work, individual capability and performance counts more than paper qualifications. Pay is not linked to paper qualifications unlike the Civil Service. I can understand why the Civil Service needs to adopt this form of remuneration. As an employer, I am only interested in performance demonstrated at work. When it comes to performance appraisals, do your bosses ask how many paper qualifications you have?
I was passed over for a promotion because I don't have the higher qualification than my other colleague. -
\Originally posted by TheGoodEarth:Education is better than no education. In itself it is good. Just like religion, in itself it is good. But with people, it doesn't mean that an educated person is a saint/angel or smart, knows everything or can perform at work, or can even think!
A qualification (from whatever institution of learning) is just a mere statement that one has met the minimum standards for the award, nothing more!
While education is important, it is not the ultimate measure of a person's ability, capability, IQ, EQ, integrity, honestly, diligence, etc.
These days, qualifications are aplenty, and if one can afford, it is not at all difficult to get into university. There are universities you can just walk in with or without 'O' level.
Over-emphasis on educational qualifications is bad. It is a problem in kiasu SG. In Europe, America and Australia - they don't place so much emphasis. When it comes to work, individual capability and performance counts more than paper qualifications. Pay is not linked to paper qualifications unlike the Civil Service. I can understand why the Civil Service needs to adopt this form of remuneration. As an employer, I am only interested in performance demonstrated at work. When it comes to performance appraisals, do your bosses ask how many paper qualifications you have?
Having said that, job applicants without demonstrated work performance will have to rely on paper qualifications as 'proof' of ability. But that 'ability' is of course an assumption - that is if one can pass exam, one has the ability!
It happened in the US
I remember a real life of one of the greater stock broker made into a movies.
This particular guy was a painter but he was an intelligent person and hearing this job offer,he drop his paint and brush midway,rush all the way to the office for an interview.
He did not have a degree but he manage to pass the interview,humouring the interviewees.
He told them he was first in his class of 10 person in elemtary school...etc etc.
Lastly,one of the interviewee asked him "so what makes u stand out from the rest?"
he replied"because u like the colour of my pants?"
And then he got the job. -
only money matters.