Who initiated the breakup? In his eyes, it was me.Originally posted by kofguy:why men get into another relationship after a breakup?
many different reasons, he could be lonely, maybe he wants to find a substitue for the lost love, or maybe he's just out for a fling.
sometimes, it's not that you want to get into a relationship, but it's just that the person is there, and it just happens naturally.
as for why he slept wif u, maybe u shld also ask yurself why u slept wif him. not that i blaming u, coz he's in the wrong too for leaving u again.
how to answer this, i dunno, maybe he angry wif u n just wants to hurt u. maybe he really really wanted to get back wif u, but he still felt that u 2 cannot be possible together, however that realization came too late. or maybe he's fucked up that way.
maybe maybe maybe.
who initiated the breakup in the 1st place, u or him?
either way, be glad u're rid of him.
thanks for then advise. i guess i am just feeling the pain of being separate from one that i have been so close to for 6 yrs. he was like my best friend and only friend. many people have told me to go "get a life" and that would make me a better person (not living in my own world). but its really hard when you've been so detached for so long.Originally posted by Pink Polka Dot:Misunderstood..
i think there are certain things you have to get it right.. now that you know he is such a fellow ... PLease forget this man .. and continue to get on wif your life, he aint worth a cent ..
i went tru a similar relationship ... broke up after 5 years, things just din work out .. he went for another girl as well .. i din feel good try to get him back .. but he choose another girl ..
Anyway..
once bitten twice shy ... stop brooding over such man, there are better men outside, probably just not the right time yet ...
the GOOD ones will appear in your life sometime ...
Do take care ...
That's what I tot so too.Originally posted by Atti:Misunderstood,
Sorry if i am being frank here but think he patch up wif u after u 2 break up is becos he needs sex! And guess nobody is giving him at that moment so he patch back wif u, make love to u and then cast u aside again. Think its pretty obvious. Once again, pardon me but he's a real bastard.
Think love is blind, and think u have been badly blinded for the last 6 yrs. Yah like the others had said, be glad u get rid of him. Doesn't matter who initiate the breakup, i mean, even if the 2 of u r still togerther, dun think anything will come out of it eventually.
So what if he's life is at the lowest? Every1, and most pple goes through this, but that doesn't mean that they needed a substitude when his gf can't be there for him. Admit it lar, he's a coward of the 1st degree. A few word, he just simple CANNOT MAKE IT.
Really, i know its not easy to forget a relationship of 6 mnths, let alone 6 yrs, but its the best way out for u. I am sure u will find a better man who will really cherish you. All the best.
Regards
I hope tat u can understand lor not all guys are like tat lor .Originally posted by misunderstood:After six years of a tense relationship, I finally broke up with my boyfriend.On breaking up, he immediately tried to get into another relationship with someone else. Without knowing about this, i tried to get him back and thought i won him back again. He even made love to me! However, he turned cold again after our "fling" and told me that we could not be together again because there was someone else!!!
How can he do that to me?? He took my love for a joyride and then broke my heart.
Why are man like that? Are all man like that?
[This message has been edited by misunderstood (edited 25 March 2001).]
Well... I remember u saying he was into another relationship right? What happened to the third party? He might still be in contact with her...Originally posted by misunderstood:I would like to thank all of you for your wonderful advise. I guess, when i was setting up this topic, i was feeling confused and upset about the way things were going on in my relationship. I made my bf sound like a total jerk. There was a lot of misunderstanding and he said a lot of hurtful things to me because he thought that it was for the best if we broke up (he felt that i was unhappy in the relationship and didn't want to continue hurting me) and had a lot of distrust for him. In the past few days, he has tried to call me and me, having cooled off from my anger, tried to understand why he did the things he did (because I believe he is not all that bad). As both of us threw aside our anger and unhappiness, we discovered that the unhappiness in our relationship was partly because I couldnt accept a lot of his bad habits (like smoking) and that's why he appeared to always be hiding things for me. This is why I always snapped at him and made him feel like a total piece of shit.
Most of your advise made sense and I really appreciated them. However, me and my bf got back together again (he finally decided to come clean with me on everything). Through his sincerity, i was shaken and realised that I truely loved him and he does love me dearly.
I dunno whether what I did was right, but I really love him and will try my very best to make things better.
well... gota have a life on your own now ... its important...Originally posted by misunderstood:thanks for then advise. i guess i am just feeling the pain of being separate from one that i have been so close to for 6 yrs. he was like my best friend and only friend. many people have told me to go "get a life" and that would make me a better person (not living in my own world). but its really hard when you've been so detached for so long.
I believe that he is not a jerk. he did what he did because he was really at his lowest. He needed a substitute for love because i couldnt be there for him.
I dun feel really good about getting him back either. this may sound childish, but who would feel good when their bf or gf tells someone else that he/she likes her? did u feel this way? Do you still think about him now? what caused the breakup?
well, we got back together and it really feels different from last time. Now, he's come clean on his "secrets" of smoking and drinking which I absolutely hate. So everytime we meet, I can smell it from his breath (even if there isn't, I will still somehow feel that there is). I tried to be cool about it, but i realised that I can't. It really takes a lot of effort to overcome the shock that he is gonna be like this for quite some time (I dun think he will ever quit, there is no drive).Originally posted by Pink Polka Dot:well... gota have a life on your own now ... its important...
yes, i do agree that i feel shitty when he mentioned to me that he start to like another ... i felt like killing him ... he only get to know this girl from his work place for less then a month ...
i went overseas for 2 weeks to get him out of my mind ... the trip did me good ... i was feeling slightly better after .. and i am able to get on with more friends .. as i start to open up further ...
so open up mingle around. .
they broke up after 3 months... claim that he could not forget me ... blah! anyway ... i am not turning back ... so you should not too.. if he ever comes back to you again ... things will never be the same ..
take care yah?!
Originally posted by Dragonlance:^_^ if you have smoked before, you will know the difficulty it is to quit... It is hard... trust me. However, give him some time... It didn't take a day to built Rome (as they say). Keep reminding him bit by bit. Eventually he will understand that you are taking great effort to put up with him and soon will quit. You also don't want the relationship between you two to end because of this minor issue.