Why are man like that?
-
After six years of a tense relationship, I finally broke up with my boyfriend.On breaking up, he immediately tried to get into another relationship with someone else. Without knowing about this, i tried to get him back and thought i won him back again. He even made love to me! However, he turned cold again after our "fling" and told me that we could not be together again because there was someone else!!!
How can he do that to me?? He took my love for a joyride and then broke my heart.
Why are man like that? Are all man like that?
[This message has been edited by misunderstood (edited 25 March 2001).] -
Misunderstood..
i think there are certain things you have to get it right.. now that you know he is such a fellow ... PLease forget this man .. and continue to get on wif your life, he aint worth a cent ..
i went tru a similar relationship ... broke up after 5 years, things just din work out .. he went for another girl as well .. i din feel good try to get him back .. but he choose another girl ..
Anyway..
once bitten twice shy ... stop brooding over such man, there are better men outside, probably just not the right time yet ...
the GOOD ones will appear in your life sometime ...
Do take care ... -
Who initiated the breakup? In his eyes, it was me.Originally posted by kofguy:why men get into another relationship after a breakup?
many different reasons, he could be lonely, maybe he wants to find a substitue for the lost love, or maybe he's just out for a fling.
sometimes, it's not that you want to get into a relationship, but it's just that the person is there, and it just happens naturally.
as for why he slept wif u, maybe u shld also ask yurself why u slept wif him. not that i blaming u, coz he's in the wrong too for leaving u again.
how to answer this, i dunno, maybe he angry wif u n just wants to hurt u. maybe he really really wanted to get back wif u, but he still felt that u 2 cannot be possible together, however that realization came too late. or maybe he's fucked up that way.
maybe maybe maybe.
who initiated the breakup in the 1st place, u or him?
either way, be glad u're rid of him.
he got into trouble with the law recently and I, instead of consoling him, have been very angry with the things he did behind my back. All i ask is for him is to lead a proper lifestyle and not hang out with his "gangster" friends. After knowing them, he has been dragged into trouble just by being eith them! I told him (for his own good) to stop mixing with them but he did not listen.
he suddenly told me one day that he wanted us to separate for a while. he wanted to get over his court case before he could "deal" with me. i got upset and told him it was as good as breaking up. So, i guess that was then when he took it that i was breaking up with him.
Let me get it straight that this kind of "breakup" thingy always happen and nothing came out of it. its just that this time, he was serious enough it.
As for sleeping with him, he initiated it. he came to my place and i was crying and all. He was comforting me and i think he gave in in the end. that was why he initiated the whole thing. and i really love him. but after it happened, i think he regretted it and as you have said, he thought things were still impossible between us.
[This message has been edited by misunderstood (edited 25 March 2001).] -
thanks for then advise. i guess i am just feeling the pain of being separate from one that i have been so close to for 6 yrs. he was like my best friend and only friend. many people have told me to go "get a life" and that would make me a better person (not living in my own world). but its really hard when you've been so detached for so long.Originally posted by Pink Polka Dot:Misunderstood..
i think there are certain things you have to get it right.. now that you know he is such a fellow ... PLease forget this man .. and continue to get on wif your life, he aint worth a cent ..
i went tru a similar relationship ... broke up after 5 years, things just din work out .. he went for another girl as well .. i din feel good try to get him back .. but he choose another girl ..
Anyway..
once bitten twice shy ... stop brooding over such man, there are better men outside, probably just not the right time yet ...
the GOOD ones will appear in your life sometime ...
Do take care ...
I believe that he is not a jerk. he did what he did because he was really at his lowest. He needed a substitute for love because i couldnt be there for him.
I dun feel really good about getting him back either. this may sound childish, but who would feel good when their bf or gf tells someone else that he/she likes her? did u feel this way? Do you still think about him now? what caused the breakup? -
I guess we are sort of in the same boat except that now, the guy is one to be played... Although I don't find my ex a bad sort of person, and I am not that sort of a person that would get back at her, i guess i just had to except things and put it behind me... I hope the new person that she found would treat her much more better than I could ever do... Just take this previous relationship as a learning experience... and continue on with our lives...
---------------------------------------------
Was it really so long ago, we were taking photographs, of each other in our winner peagent clothes. Skipping score, going home, running for shelther from a sudden thunderstorm, kissing raindrops on your nose... What part did i play, making you the way, you are? What more can i say, to convince you, you didn't have to go so far...?
We lay out, there above us are lit, a universe away now, I'll probably never see you again. And Unaware where you went. Where did you go? What did you see? Did you ever think of me? I'm layed out now...All that time we spent... What part did i play, making you the way, you are? What more can i say...to convince you, you didn't have to go so far...? You didn't have to go so far...What part did i play...? What more can i say...?
In your service,
Dragonlance -
Misunderstood,
Sorry if i am being frank here but think he patch up wif u after u 2 break up is becos he needs sex! And guess nobody is giving him at that moment so he patch back wif u, make love to u and then cast u aside again. Think its pretty obvious. Once again, pardon me but he's a real bastard.
Think love is blind, and think u have been badly blinded for the last 6 yrs. Yah like the others had said, be glad u get rid of him. Doesn't matter who initiate the breakup, i mean, even if the 2 of u r still togerther, dun think anything will come out of it eventually.
So what if he's life is at the lowest? Every1, and most pple goes through this, but that doesn't mean that they needed a substitude when his gf can't be there for him. Admit it lar, he's a coward of the 1st degree. A few word, he just simple CANNOT MAKE IT.
Really, i know its not easy to forget a relationship of 6 mnths, let alone 6 yrs, but its the best way out for u. I am sure u will find a better man who will really cherish you. All the best.
Regards
------------------
nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
Lightly chamber lights go out
As skin on skin the moonlight glows
When in morning
Doubt a dream
And kill the sickness in him within!
I think he is one sick bastard ....... would like 2 see a thousand knives in him .. or maybe hannibal ,the good doctor could pay a visit .. hahahaha -
That's what I tot so too.Originally posted by Atti:Misunderstood,
Sorry if i am being frank here but think he patch up wif u after u 2 break up is becos he needs sex! And guess nobody is giving him at that moment so he patch back wif u, make love to u and then cast u aside again. Think its pretty obvious. Once again, pardon me but he's a real bastard.
Think love is blind, and think u have been badly blinded for the last 6 yrs. Yah like the others had said, be glad u get rid of him. Doesn't matter who initiate the breakup, i mean, even if the 2 of u r still togerther, dun think anything will come out of it eventually.
So what if he's life is at the lowest? Every1, and most pple goes through this, but that doesn't mean that they needed a substitude when his gf can't be there for him. Admit it lar, he's a coward of the 1st degree. A few word, he just simple CANNOT MAKE IT.
Really, i know its not easy to forget a relationship of 6 mnths, let alone 6 yrs, but its the best way out for u. I am sure u will find a better man who will really cherish you. All the best.
Regards
Somehow most guys will grab the chance whenever they can.
I guess girls normally try their best to save the relationship. But after trying for so many years, finally gave up.
There is always someone better, if he is really terrible it might be wiser having someone else that appreciates you more.
Sometimes its better to just leave the pieces rather than picking it up. U may get cut...
I know its rather hard to forget, the pain never really heals, but just take it as a lesson learnt, and hopefully the scar will strengthen your heart instead of providing a source for hurt to enter...
U dun have to face this alone. Friends & Family are a good source of comfort. If they are not available for some reasons, you still have us
------------------
**I want u to be with me.....
be with me in the morning...be with me in the nite...with me when its dark out...with me when its light...
I want u to be with me...no matter what we do...just keep this reminder...of how much I love u...** -
are most guys like that?
big question, there .. i guess most guys would react like that .. their ego will be to big to accept you back after you dump them and i guess its kinda "revenge" them for you to come back asking for another chance at the relationship, just so they can dump you back.
i guess the best thing is for you to stay away from guys, hang out with your friends, think on what went wrong, and whether you believe it was better for this relationship to break up. once you accept that it was better that you have broken off from him, it`ll be a lot easier for you to just forget everything and get on with your life. go talk to friends and family .. i`m sure they can help you see a better picture. -
misunderstood:
I think u have met the wrong guy. He got a lousy personality to begin with. I don't see why he must have sex with u to patch things back.
And u too. Why let him take advantage of u?? U should have protected yourself from such a person like him.
Don't brood over it. Get on with your life and do steer clear of him. -
I would like to thank all of you for your wonderful advise. I guess, when i was setting up this topic, i was feeling confused and upset about the way things were going on in my relationship. I made my bf sound like a total jerk. There was a lot of misunderstanding and he said a lot of hurtful things to me because he thought that it was for the best if we broke up (he felt that i was unhappy in the relationship and didn't want to continue hurting me) and had a lot of distrust for him. In the past few days, he has tried to call me and me, having cooled off from my anger, tried to understand why he did the things he did (because I believe he is not all that bad). As both of us threw aside our anger and unhappiness, we discovered that the unhappiness in our relationship was partly because I couldnt accept a lot of his bad habits (like smoking) and that's why he appeared to always be hiding things for me. This is why I always snapped at him and made him feel like a total piece of shit.
Most of your advise made sense and I really appreciated them. However, me and my bf got back together again (he finally decided to come clean with me on everything). Through his sincerity, i was shaken and realised that I truely loved him and he does love me dearly.
I dunno whether what I did was right, but I really love him and will try my very best to make things better. -
Glad that thing come out this way. You had made your choice that this is the only man you cannot live without. Since you have so much faith and love for him, do stick with him thru thick and thin. I believe he is not a jerk as well. Give him the moral support when thing turn out low for him. And help him to wake up if he still cannot see the light. Make him think about both of your future. Guys are normally immature until they have someone in their life to worry for, to work hard and strive for their happiness.
Hope you attain happiness in your life with your persistency. -
I hope tat u can understand lor not all guys are like tat lor .Originally posted by misunderstood:After six years of a tense relationship, I finally broke up with my boyfriend.On breaking up, he immediately tried to get into another relationship with someone else. Without knowing about this, i tried to get him back and thought i won him back again. He even made love to me! However, he turned cold again after our "fling" and told me that we could not be together again because there was someone else!!!
How can he do that to me?? He took my love for a joyride and then broke my heart.
Why are man like that? Are all man like that?
[This message has been edited by misunderstood (edited 25 March 2001).]
maybe there is somethings that happen tat course this to happen lor
there is a saying "got reason then got cause"
[This message has been edited by heavyarm (edited 26 March 2001).] -
misunderstood:
I do hope u are making the right choice this time round. All the best!!
Kyo23:
Not necessary. At least I know I am striving for myself.
-
Well... I remember u saying he was into another relationship right? What happened to the third party? He might still be in contact with her...Originally posted by misunderstood:I would like to thank all of you for your wonderful advise. I guess, when i was setting up this topic, i was feeling confused and upset about the way things were going on in my relationship. I made my bf sound like a total jerk. There was a lot of misunderstanding and he said a lot of hurtful things to me because he thought that it was for the best if we broke up (he felt that i was unhappy in the relationship and didn't want to continue hurting me) and had a lot of distrust for him. In the past few days, he has tried to call me and me, having cooled off from my anger, tried to understand why he did the things he did (because I believe he is not all that bad). As both of us threw aside our anger and unhappiness, we discovered that the unhappiness in our relationship was partly because I couldnt accept a lot of his bad habits (like smoking) and that's why he appeared to always be hiding things for me. This is why I always snapped at him and made him feel like a total piece of shit.
Most of your advise made sense and I really appreciated them. However, me and my bf got back together again (he finally decided to come clean with me on everything). Through his sincerity, i was shaken and realised that I truely loved him and he does love me dearly.
I dunno whether what I did was right, but I really love him and will try my very best to make things better.
I'm glad things turn out the way you wanted... but still... be careful.
------------------
**I want u to be with me.....
be with me in the morning...be with me in the nite...with me when its dark out...with me when its light...
I want u to be with me...no matter what we do...just keep this reminder...of how much I love u...** -
yeah .. i say .. go ahead and try, but be sure to keep your eyes WIDE OPEN .. you owe it to yourself and the people around you.
-
yeah yeah... :p
the bastard's here, go ahead and shoot me.
anyway, thanks for the advises you all gave to my beloved (and also thanks for making me out to be a total piece of shit, doesn't really matters, no hard feelings).
for those who know me, you know what my problems are and my hearing is on this monday. so praying hard for my retribution?
well, things are just going great for us, 6 yrs together will never enough. let's make it 60 yrs or even 600 yrs, shall we, misunderstood?
misunderstood, you know that i love and i will always love. i want you to want me so much, as much as i want you, for there is never a minute or a second that you're not on my mind. I'm always just a phone call away. as for the rest of you all, thanks a bunch anyway and take care!
------------------
**I don't ride fast, I just fly low** -
So its our dear keratinize here, haha......
Yo man, glad that u 2 patch up. Dun worry abt the hearing, like i say 1000 of times b4, not much you can do. And do keep me inform if possible.
And yah, better treat misunderstood nicely also :p
Take care!
------------------
nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe" -
Well... all the best for ur hearing... just come out safe and sound okiez.. and dun commit any offence againz...
of coz and dun bully misunderstood againz... *=þleahz*
------------------
()""() ************************
( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.)
~.~.~ -
well... gota have a life on your own now ... its important...Originally posted by misunderstood:thanks for then advise. i guess i am just feeling the pain of being separate from one that i have been so close to for 6 yrs. he was like my best friend and only friend. many people have told me to go "get a life" and that would make me a better person (not living in my own world). but its really hard when you've been so detached for so long.
I believe that he is not a jerk. he did what he did because he was really at his lowest. He needed a substitute for love because i couldnt be there for him.
I dun feel really good about getting him back either. this may sound childish, but who would feel good when their bf or gf tells someone else that he/she likes her? did u feel this way? Do you still think about him now? what caused the breakup?
yes, i do agree that i feel shitty when he mentioned to me that he start to like another ... i felt like killing him ... he only get to know this girl from his work place for less then a month ...
i went overseas for 2 weeks to get him out of my mind ... the trip did me good ... i was feeling slightly better after .. and i am able to get on with more friends .. as i start to open up further ...
so open up mingle around. .
they broke up after 3 months... claim that he could not forget me ... blah! anyway ... i am not turning back ... so you should not too.. if he ever comes back to you again ... things will never be the same ..
take care yah?! -
eh, has this forum become Keratinize's forum instead?!
-
well, we got back together and it really feels different from last time. Now, he's come clean on his "secrets" of smoking and drinking which I absolutely hate. So everytime we meet, I can smell it from his breath (even if there isn't, I will still somehow feel that there is). I tried to be cool about it, but i realised that I can't. It really takes a lot of effort to overcome the shock that he is gonna be like this for quite some time (I dun think he will ever quit, there is no drive).Originally posted by Pink Polka Dot:well... gota have a life on your own now ... its important...
yes, i do agree that i feel shitty when he mentioned to me that he start to like another ... i felt like killing him ... he only get to know this girl from his work place for less then a month ...
i went overseas for 2 weeks to get him out of my mind ... the trip did me good ... i was feeling slightly better after .. and i am able to get on with more friends .. as i start to open up further ...
so open up mingle around. .
they broke up after 3 months... claim that he could not forget me ... blah! anyway ... i am not turning back ... so you should not too.. if he ever comes back to you again ... things will never be the same ..
take care yah?!
Somehow, I feel rather cheated that i have to accept this because I came into this relationship because i tot he was a non smoker.
I feel really at a loss and I really dont want to hear things like, " if you love him, you will accept him for what he is" crap because I know that it is not fair to me. He knows I hate smoking. So "if he really loves me, why doesnt he quit?"
Anyone been in this kind of situation before? -
^_^ if you have smoked before, you will know the difficulty it is to quit... It is hard... trust me. However, give him some time... It didn't take a day to built Rome (as they say). Keep reminding him bit by bit. Eventually he will understand that you are taking great effort to put up with him and soon will quit. You also don't want the relationship between you two to end because of this minor issue.
---------------------------------------------
Forbidden Love
The stretch of my memory is rolling as a snowball accumulating regret. My imagination of warmth is elusive. Walking towards a desert with no colour, I'm wishing as I'm looking into an ocean of still tears. Tinted and cracked plaster is what's left in me.
I hear suffocated memories and looking at forgotten voices. My hopes all lowly lit,closing in,the edge of Darkness?
The answer falling; the muscles strained,the eyes died; the wounds wide. -
Originally posted by Dragonlance:^_^ if you have smoked before, you will know the difficulty it is to quit... It is hard... trust me. However, give him some time... It didn't take a day to built Rome (as they say). Keep reminding him bit by bit. Eventually he will understand that you are taking great effort to put up with him and soon will quit. You also don't want the relationship between you two to end because of this minor issue. You're the man!
------------------
**I don't ride fast, I just fly low**