My wife always threaten divorce wen we quarrel.How 2 handle?
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I am divorced.
I should also mention that I am also female.
And I have some idea of legal stuffs regards to divorce in Singapore or in USA.
And I do have experiences with females I know....threatening divorce to their spouse during quarrals. And I was physically there.
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Who are this forumites to the TS? His close friends? his Counsels? His relatives?Originally posted by blu_sky:Cool. Good idea, no one can then give undue pressure to TS to divorce once the thread is closed.
Why think that TS will receive undue pressure unless you felt that the TS is just another weakling with no minds of his own and easily influenced?
Then shouldnt that be bringing up another situation where predators was preying on the weak, easily influenced youngsters on this forums, on the pretext of giving advises by dating them out?
Anyway.....above should be able to help close up this thread soon.
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Frustrated_guy,
The way I see it.
You are not ready for a child.
You still value your freedom.
This freedom is something you have to give up the moment your wife is pregnant.
The point of contention between your wife and you will become an even greater issue.
I hope you are not going along to become a father because your wife pressured you into it.
And no, having a child will not solve any marital problems you have with her right now.
You need to resolve it and let it time to settle in before you try for a kid. -
Good to know you are not one of them 12 years old.Originally posted by blu_sky:Be assured, i have been out there, and i am still out there.
Someone famous (millionaire) once asked another famous (multi-millionaire):
millionaire: How do you get so rich?
multi-millionaire: ah! it is who you mix with.
you are so jaded and keep meeting wrong people because your world is so muddy.
i mixed with the right people, my friends are happily married. Yes, they do have marital problems but they try to work it out. Some couples have been married 12 years, some 6 years and etc, they are still working on their marriages. There is no perfect couple, who are completely compatible. To have a long lasting happy marriage, you need to work hard on it.
OK. So you know couples who have been married for 12 years, 6 years or more.
Now, may I also know, those long lasting couples.
Does any of their spouse fits into the description of TS's wife ?
Do they also has such an explosive marriage like TS ?
Do they hang the word "divorce" on the corners of their mouth ?
If you cannot even differentiate a good marriage vs a bad marriage... I feel sad for you.
To have a GOOD and long lasting marriage, you need to work hard..yes, AND you also need to find the right one. -
which is worse? infidelity or an explosive temper?Originally posted by jojobeach:Good to know you are not one of them 12 years old.
OK. So you know couples who have been married for 12 years, 6 years or more.
Now, may I also know, those long lasting couples.
Does any of their spouse fits into the description of TS's wife ?
Do they also has such an explosive marriage like TS ?
Do they hang the word "divorce" on the corners of their mouth ?
If you cannot even differentiate a good marriage vs a bad marriage... I feel sad for you.
To have a GOOD and long lasting marriage, you need to work hard..yes, AND you also need to find the right one.
yes, we are digressing. if you are interested, we can discuss this off the thread. -
The only difference between the two , time it takes for all to end.Originally posted by blu_sky:which is worse? infidelity or an explosive temper?
yes, we are digressing. if you are interested, we can discuss this off the thread.
One is a quick ugly bang.
One is giant boiler building up the pressure from within. -
I find Explosive temper being worse off then infidelity.
Imagine living in a constant state of fear that emotions can run high every day.
Emotional stress drains you more then physical demands. Even more so when you are over the ages of 25. -
Originally posted by de_middle:i am truly happy for you......many happy & blissful days ahead Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:Hi frustrated_guy,
Sometimes one needs to lose something before feeling the significance indeed.
I'm happy for you, and your commitment in your marriage is something all of us should emulate.
All the best!
Thank you all!!! It's nice to hear positive words from from youOriginally posted by blu_sky:Yes, agree totally. Is abandoning is what a person would do at the first intant, is that really love?
TS, wish you all the best. If there should be any 'tiff', you know where you can find listening hears
I will keep trying!! -
Actually yeah, before I asked for help, she has used this word many times liao. It's only recently that I posted what happen. It's actually my 1st time that I shared so much as well. I am OK with our argument and petty squabbles, but screaming divorce is starting to get on my nerves and is like a bomb inside me, unfortunately. But I'll keep trying until it works. HopefullyOriginally posted by FocusPoint:I may not agree with a lot of Jojo's posting but this time she hit the nail on the head.
Yes, marriage is never a bed of roses. There are the thorns and the weeds to take into consideration and to work it out BUT if the marriage is an abusive one especially on one partner and when the partner refuse to go for counselling then the other party has to really consider if the marriage is worth working as it is here only one party is really working on the relationship and not two as expected.
TS marriage is only a year old and the wife is already exhibiting this kind of unacceptable behavior. How long do you think TS can last? How many times can he take this kind of abuse?Two years, 5 years? One of this day he might hit the point of no return and throw in the towel and then the situation might be worse than now as they probably might have kids already. Now who will suffer more here?
Take it from a man who has 18 happy blissful years of marriage under his belt with a fantabulous wife. We have our ups and downs but never even once did either of us mention that word 'divorce' when we have our disagreements or quarrels. Frankly that word is a taboo.
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I do hope this case is settled permanently. She has admitted her fault, hopefully she does not threaten again when we argue.Originally posted by teraexa:Eh dudes.
Cool it, okay?
This has gone a bit far too off-track.
TS has settled his case temporarily.
If you wish to continue your debate please do open another thread.
Time for Mod to close this thread? -
Hi Viciouskitty,Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Who are this forumites to the TS? His close friends? his Counsels? His relatives?
Why think that TS will receive undue pressure unless you felt that the TS is just another weakling with no minds of his own and easily influenced?
Then shouldnt that be bringing up another situation where predators was preying on the weak, easily influenced youngsters on this forums, on the pretext of giving advises by dating them out?
Anyway.....above should be able to help close up this thread soon.
Surprisingly, the help that I have received are very much appreciated. Another factor would be a place to let go. As you know, "House house got their own difficult to read bible" I can't be complaining to my friends. Besides, I know arguments between couples don't last more than a month, usually. It relieves stress as well as receiving all the "jiayou" posts
Though nobody can help us except ourselves, I'm happy to learn that these forumites here gave a lot of love and care. I know there are negative posts as well, but it's just me, I tend to remember the more positive ones. -
Anyway, for an update, I feel that both of us are working on a new chapter. She has noted my 'complain' of lack of freedom and has started to give more time for me to meet friends. And I would tell her more stuff of what I'm doing. I try to be there for her nowadays and be more attentive. I hope everyting works out fine. Yes, communication is very very important. As least one of us is not impulsive, if not, it would be an ugly end.
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Bro, u both need to cool down, just give her sometime(Maybe afew mth), Sometime the stress r coming from work. so good luck to u.
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Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Anyway, for an update, I feel that both of us are working on a new chapter. She has noted my 'complain' of lack of freedom and has started to give more time for me to meet friends. And I would tell her more stuff of what I'm doing. I try to be there for her nowadays and be more attentive. I hope everyting works out fine. Yes, communication is very very important. As least one of us is not impulsive, if not, it would be an ugly end. nice to hear that, gd luck & all the best.......remember us yah
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deleted : Double post.
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Good to know.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Anyway, for an update, I feel that both of us are working on a new chapter. She has noted my 'complain' of lack of freedom and has started to give more time for me to meet friends. And I would tell her more stuff of what I'm doing. I try to be there for her nowadays and be more attentive. I hope everyting works out fine. Yes, communication is very very important. As least one of us is not impulsive, if not, it would be an ugly end.
And I'll bet one bottle of Yomeishu this bliss wouldn't last for one year.
No, I'll throw in another bottle of vodka.
You do know that you're the one that demonized your wife in your initial postings, right ?
By the way, don't get her pregnant too soon yah ?
Hate to see another child from a broken family.
Cheers. -
Dear TS aka Fustrated_GuyOriginally posted by Frustrated_guy:Hi Everybody,
I read through most of the posts and some said my wife cannot keep. I think the remarks may be too judgmental. A wife isn't like an object, tool or pet. Having a marriage means the 2 of us, and a wife is the other person in the relationship to maintain. I mean next time, if I have a child and the child frustrates me, can I say this child cannot keep too?
I do get very frustrated when my wife mentions divorce whenever we argue. I have told her many times as well. If she were to persist, of course I will give the necessary counter-actions when I can't tahan. But I can't blame everything on her, this I know. Anyway, if you have truly loved someone before, you'll know that feeling where both of you will live until a ripe old age together, no matter what.
It has been a week, and I have gotten my wife back without any argument or quarrel. She bought me gifts and wrote me a love letter, saying it wasn't her intention to mention divorce over and over again. And that she understood how I put up with her and the most important thing, she still loves me! I would say that after a hard battle, my love did pull through!
I am SO HAPPY for u!! U made it with the help of ur love for ur wife as well as ur persistence!! YEahh~!! Hey, do maintain it tis way, orite?
May u & ur wife live in bliss til old age!! -
Tis is really evil. Heard the "Power of Spoken Words"?Originally posted by jojobeach:Good to know.
And I'll bet one bottle of Yomeishu this bliss wouldn't last for one year.
No, I'll throw in another bottle of vodka.
You do know that you're the one that demonized your wife in your initial postings, right ?
By the way, don't get her pregnant too soon yah ?
Hate to see another child from a broken family.
Cheers.
Be positive on the perspective of life helps a great deal.
& Pple, please dun attack Blu-Sky now. Wat's wrong wif his/her posts? Probably u din read all the posts CAREFULLY ENUF.
Watever it is, tis thread shld close now, lest anymore negative points comin up again..Nverending..
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I think TS have enough sense to ignore jojobeach.
jojo has the right to post her views/phobias, but it is up to TS to decide what to do.
To jojo:
I hope you find happiness.
But first you need to restore your faith in people. -
Never heard before the "Power of Spoken Words", what's that?Originally posted by RedizAlertz:Tis is really evil. Heard the "Power of Spoken Words"?
Be positive on the perspective of life helps a great deal.
& Pple, please dun attack Blu-Sky now. Wat's wrong wif his/her posts? Probably u din read all the posts CAREFULLY ENUF.
Watever it is, tis thread shld close now, lest anymore negative points comin up again..Nverending.. 
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Well.. I never will get excited like you domancha's signatureYour mission in life is not to be without problems - your mission is to get excited.
i wonder what is jojo's star sign - Aquarius? -
Dear TS,
I am feeling happy for you and I admire your great love for your wife, your persistence, your humility to admit your own mistakes and the amount of effort you put in to work on your marriage.
Like many have said, marriage is not always a bed of roses. There is always going to have its ups and downs. If you could persevere all the "downs" till the end in the marriage, it can only make the marriage stronger.
Very often, we get comfortable in a relationship that we completely forget how to show appreciation to our partner/spouse. Especially nowadays we tend to work longer hours and have less quality time to spend with each other and communicate with each other.
I wish you well and I am positive that everything you have done for your wife will be paid off one day.
I will close this thread now (to prevent it from becoming a "warzone" ), just as TS closed off this old chapter of his life to begin a new chapter with his wife.
Please feel free to open a new thread when you want to give us more updates. Take care!